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Enjoy our team's carefully selected funny jokes. Laugh yourself and share the funniest jokes with your friends!



Funny Jokes


What do you call a man who stamps letters at the post office for a living?

Frank.

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Why did the cow jump over the Harvest Moon?

Because the farmer had cold hands!

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A racehorse owner takes his horse to the vet.

β€œWill I be able to race this horse again?” he asks.

The vet replies: β€œOf course you will, and you’ll probably win!”

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There was a statistics teacher who would always accelerate hard when driving through intersections and then slow down after passing through.

One day he drove a colleague to work who was noticeably uncomfortable with his driving.

The colleague asked, β€œWhy do you always drive so fast through intersections?”

To which the statistics teacher responded, β€œWell, statistically speaking, you’re more likely to have an accident in an intersection, so I make sure to get through them as fast as possible!”

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Yesterday I was talking to an alien from space. Turns out they eat radioactive materials.

I ask it what its favorite meal was.

It told me:

β€œFission chips.”

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Every night, I go to bed determined to be productive the following day.

Here’s to a good morning... tomorrow.

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A man with a wooden eye is at a dance.

During a slow dance, he can’t find a partner to dance with him.

He sees from the opposite side of the dance floor a girl with a large nose.

Seeing that she is also without a dance partner, he makes his move.

He approaches her and is frank with her, asking, β€œWould you dance with me?”

Filled with excitement, she yells, β€œWould I!”

Without missing a beat, the man retorts, β€œBIG NOSE BIG NOSE BIG NOSE!!!”

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Living on Earth might be expensive, but at least you get a free trip around the Sun every year.

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The census taker comes to the Goldman house.

β€œDoes Louis Goldman live here?” he asks.

β€œNo,” replies Goldman.

β€œWell, then, what is your name?”

β€œLouis Goldman.”

β€œWait a minute, didn’t you just tell me that Goldman doesn’t live here?”

β€œAha,” says Goldman. β€œYou call this living?”

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Why do British ice cream cones carry an umbrella?

There’s always a chance of sprinkles.

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