Knock! Knock!
“Who’s there?”
“Owl.”
“Owl, who?”
“Owl always love you.”
😄 😄 😄
Diet day 1:
I removed all the fattening food from my house.
It was delicious.
😄 😄 😄
Marriage is love.
Love is blind.
Marriage is an institution.
Therefore, marriage is an institution for the blind.
😄 😄 😄
Did you hear the one about the blonde fox that got stuck in a trap?
She chewed off three legs and was still stuck.
😄 😄 😄
Yo mama so fat when she jumped people got an earthquake alert on their phones.
😄 😄 😄
Knock! Knock!
“Who’s there?”
“Ice cream.”
“Ice cream, who?”
“I scream, you scream, we all scream for ice cream!
😄 😄 😄
Which Marvel supervillain loves being under the sun?
Tan-os.
😄 😄 😄
Your mama so fat when she gets on the scale it says “to be continued”.
😄 😄 😄
What do you call a sneaky blue bean?
A navy bean.
😄 😄 😄
Age is important only if you’re cheese and wine.
😄 😄 😄
They say Uranus is a real gas giant…
And I have to agree!
😄 😄 😄
Yo momma so hot doctors say her blood type is lava.
😄 😄 😄
What do you call a sad blueberry?
A blueberry muffin.
😄 😄 😄
A wise man once told me, if a bee is bothering you, don’t swat or run away, just stand still and look right at it.
Because seeing is believing.
😄 😄 😄
I took a road trip with my German buddy and when I accidentally dropped my hot dog out the window he swung the car around to go back and get it. . .
That’s when the whole trip really took a turn for the wurst.
😄 😄 😄
A photographer from a well know national magazine was assigned to cover the fires at Yellowstone National Park. The magazine wanted to show the heroic work of the fire fighters as they battled the blaze.
When the photographer arrived, he realized that the smoke was so thick that it would seriously impede or make it impossible for him to photograph anything from ground level.
He requested permission to rent a plane and take photos from the air. His request was approved and arrangements were made. He was told to report to a nearby airport where a plane would be waiting for him. He arrived at the airport and saw a plane warming up near the gate.
He jumped in with his bag and shouted, “Let’s go!”
The pilot swung the little plane into the wind, and within minutes they were in the air.
The photographer said, “Fly over the park and make two or three low passes so I can take some pictures.”
“Why?” asked the pilot.
“Because I am a photographer,” he responded, “and photographers take photographs.”
The pilot was silent for a moment.
Finally he stammered, “You mean you’re not the flight instructor?”
😄 😄 😄
My sister said to me, “Mom wants you to help us fix Thanksgiving Day dinner.”
I said, “Why? Is it broken?”
😄 😄 😄
What do you call an Indian doctor who likes telling dad jokes and give flu shots?
Pun-Jabby.
😄 😄 😄
When Superman gets ready for bed, he puts on his Chuck Norris pajamas.
😄 😄 😄
Accidentally got some guacamole in my eyes.
And now I think I have guacoma.
😄 😄 😄
