Birthday Jokes: Funny and Hilarious!



Enjoy our team's carefully selected Birthday Jokes . Laugh yourself and share the funniest jokes with your friends!



Birthday Jokes


Why did the 30-year-old throw a party with only one candle on the cake?

They didn’t want to set off the fire alarm with all those candles!

πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„


How did the 30-year-old gardener celebrate their birthday?

By receiving a thirtree as a gift!

πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„


How did the 30-year-old marathon runner celebrate their birthday?

By going the extra mile!

πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„


What did the 30-year-old computer engineer say on his birthday?

β€œI’m just a byte older.”

πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„


Happy 30th, the age where society expects us to have our life together, but we’re still figuring out how to fold a fitted sheet.

πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„


As long, you don’t have kids, your 30s are like your 20s, but with money.

πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„


Four turtles were celebrating their 40th birthdays together, when they ran out of ice cream.

They decided the biggest oneβ€”Fredβ€”should go to the store and get more. Fred went into the bedroom to get some money.

The rest of them waited for Fred to come back, but after a couple of days they started getting frustrated.

The smallest one said, β€œPoor Fred. Ever since he turned 40 he’s really getting slow.”

A voice from the bedroom said, β€œIf you’re gonna start saying bad things about me behind my back, l’m not even going!”

πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„


Wishing you a warm and bright 40th birthday!

It couldn’t be any other way with that many candles on your cake.

πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„


If you add the two numbers in your chronological age, you get your true age.

So you’re 5 now, and you can’t really argue the similarities. Five-year-olds have a tough time tying their shoes, can barely spell their own name, and need help reading!

πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„


β€œIt’s your birthday? How old are you?” asks the man’s friend.

β€œI’m seven and one-seventh,” replies the man.

β€œHow’s that, you look about 50 to me?” asks the friend.

β€œEvery time I chat up a nice lady she calls me an old dog, so I figure I get to count age in dog years now!”

πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„


Why can you trust your friends more after turning 50?

Because you can’t even remember each other’s names, let alone your deepest secrets!

πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„


You know you’re 50 when that come hither look you used to have in your eyes just doesn’t look as enticing through your bifocals.

πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„


You know you’re 50 when you’re thankful when someone tells you that you have lipstick on your teeth because it means you still have teeth.

πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„


You know you’re 50 when your face has more wrinkles than an elephant’s backside.

πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„


You know you’re 50 when you and your teeth have decided that a separation is the best thing for your relationship.

πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„


You know you’re 50 when you have to use your GPS to locate your feet because you can’t see over your belly.

πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„


You know you’re 50 when you now have more hair on your knuckles than you do on your head.

πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„


Why did the Minion give Gru two banana skins for his birthday?

Because he asked for a pair of slippers.

πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„


Her: β€œWhen’s your birthday?”

Me: β€œJanuary first.”

Her: β€œWhat year?”

Me: β€œEvery year.”

πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„


I’d hate to be a dragon.

I’d get so angry trying to blow out my birthday candles.

πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„


On the day my friends were hosting my birthday celebration, I had diarrhea.

I was a party pooper.

πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„


Every year on my birthday, I remember...

That I’m one year closer to being back in diapers.

πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„


How do you know you’re old?

It’s your birthday, and there are more candles than cake.

πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„


You’re gourdgeous!

πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„


Hot dog, it’s your birthday!

Let’s be Frank, you’re probably planning to party your buns off, so go ahead – don’t be a weenie!

Relish every moment of your celebration!

πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„


What to give a man who’s got everything?

A woman. She’ll tell him how everything works.

πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„


Why did the teen get a grooming kit for his birthday?

It was his shaventeenth birthday.

πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„


On his 16th birthday, I thought my son deserved to know the truth about his being adopted.

So when he got home from school, I said to him, β€œSteve, do you mind sitting down, I’ve got something to tell you.”

β€œDad, guess what?!” he shouted excitedly.

β€œSteve, this is important.” I urged.

β€œNo way, Dad. Listen!”

β€œSteve. Please. Don’t make this hard for me. It’s about your mum and me.”

β€œDad! Shut up! I’ve just won Β£250,000 on a scratch card!”

β€œThat’s amazing son! Your old Dad’s really made up for you!”

πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„


It’s your birthday; let’s donuts!

πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„


Yo mama so old her birth certificate says β€œExpired”.

πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„


Yo mama so ugly the government decided to move Halloween to her birthday.

πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„


Yo mama so fat every time she turns around it’s her birthday.

πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„


What is a monster’s favorite part of a birthday celebration?

I scream.

πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„


What did the ice cream say to the grumpy birthday cake?

What’s eating you?

πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„


Hey shorty, it’s sherbet day!

πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„


How do you wish an ice cream a happy birthday?

β€œHope your birthday is gelato fun!”

πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„


How do you wish a mushroom a happy birthday?

Happy birthday to a real fungi!

πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„


Why does the mushroom always get invited to birthday parties?

He’s a fun-gi.

πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„


Not to be Mushy but since it is your birthday I just want to say: I think you are the most Fungiing awesome mom, you are cute as a Button, you put in the fun in Fungus, you have always been there for Morel support, and you are like a Truffleβ€”hard to find and incredibly valuable.

You are the Champion of Moms! I mean I turned out alright, not to toot my own Trumpet.

πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„


Man tries to open a bank account.

Teller asks him, β€œYour name?”

β€œJ-j-jj-hhh-on S-ss-mm-i-tthh.”

β€œOh, you stutter?”

β€œNo, my dad did, but the person, who did by birth certificate, was a complete moron!”

πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„


What’s the best way to get your husband to remember your anniversary?

Get married on his birthday!

πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„


The housewife answered a knock on the door and found a total stranger standing on the doorstep.

β€œExcuse me for disturbing you, ma’am,” he said politely, β€œbut I pass your house every morning on my way to work, and I’ve noticed that every day you appear to be hitting your son on the head with a loaf of bread.”

β€œThat’s right.”

β€œEvery day you hit him on the head with a loaf of bread, and yet this morning you were beating him with a chocolate cake.”

β€œWell, today is his birthday.”

πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„


A man asked his wife, β€œWhat would you most like for your birthday?”

She said, β€œI’d love to be ten again.”

On the morning of her birthday, he got her up bright and early and they went to a theme park.

He put her on every ride in the par: the Death Slide, The Screaming Loop, the Wall of Fear. She had a go on every ride there was.

She staggered out of the theme park five hours later, her head reeling and her stomach turning.

Then they were off to a movie theater where they ate popcorn and sweets and drank Cola.

At last, she staggered home with her husband and collapsed into bed.

Her husband leaned over and asked, β€œWell, dear, what was it like being ten again?” One eye opened and she groaned, β€œActually, honey, I meant dress size!”

πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„


The best way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget it once.

πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„


Statistics show that those who have the most birthdays live the longest!

πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„


When I was born I was so surprised I didn’t talk for a year and a half.

πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„


Why do golfers prefer a birthday donut over a birthday cake?

Because there is a hole in one.

πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„


I used to be a boy trapped in a woman’s body. But after 9 long months, I was finally born!

πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„


Forget about the past, you can’t change it.

Forget about the future, you can’t predict it.

Forget about the present, I didn’t get you one.

πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„


Why do some people get heartburn every time they eat a birthday cake?

They always forget to take off the candles.

πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„


















© 2022-2023 jokes.best