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Jokes Birthday: Funny and Hilarious!



Enjoy our team's carefully selected Birthday Jokes . Laugh yourself and share the funniest jokes with your friends!



Birthday Jokes


You’re gourdgeous!

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Hot dog, it’s your birthday!

Let’s be Frank, you’re probably planning to party your buns off, so go ahead – don’t be a weenie!

Relish every moment of your celebration!

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What to give a man who’s got everything?

A woman. She’ll tell him how everything works.

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Why did the teen get a grooming kit for his birthday?

It was his shaventeenth birthday.

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It’s your birthday; let’s donuts!

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Yo mama so old, her birth certificate says, β€œExpired”.

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Yo mama so ugly, the government decided to move Halloween to her birthday.

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Yo mama so fat, every time she turns around it’s her birthday.

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What is a monster’s favorite part of a birthday celebration?

I scream.

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What did the ice-cream say to the grumpy birthday cake?

What’s eating you?

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Hey shorty, it’s sherbet day!

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How do you wish an ice cream a happy birthday?

β€œHope your birthday is gelato fun!”

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How do you wish a mushroom a happy birthday?

Happy birthday to a real fungi!

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Why does the mushroom always get invited to birthday parties?

He’s a fun-gi.

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Not to be Mushy but since it is your birthday I just want to say: I think you are the most Fungiing awesome mom, you are cute as a Button, you put in the fun in Fungus, you have always been there for Morel support, and you are like a Truffle β€” hard to find and incredibly valuable.

You are the Champion of Moms! I mean I turned out alright, not to toot my own Trumpet.

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Man tries to open a bank account.

Teller asks him, β€œYour name?”

β€œJ-j-jj-hhh-on S-ss-mm-i-tthh.”

β€œOh, you stutter?”

β€œNo, my dad did, but the person, who did by birth certificate, was a complete moron!”

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What’s the best way to get your husband to remember your anniversary?

Get married on his birthday!

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The housewife answered a knock on the door and found a total stranger standing on the doorstep.

β€œExcuse me for disturbing you, ma’am,” he said politely, β€œbut I pass your house every morning on my way to work, and I’ve noticed that every day you appear to be hitting your son on the head with a loaf of bread.”

β€œThat’s right.”

β€œEvery day you hit him on the head with a loaf of bread, and yet this morning you were beating him with a chocolate cake.”

β€œWell, today is his birthday.”

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A man asked his wife, β€œWhat would you most like for your birthday?”

She said, β€œI’d love to be ten again.”

On the morning of her birthday, he got her up bright and early and they went to a theme park.

He put her on every ride in the par: the Death Slide, The Screaming Loop, the Wall of Fear. She had a go on every ride there was.

She staggered out of the theme park five hours later, her head reeling and her stomach turning.

Then they were off to a movie theater where they ate popcorn and sweets and drank Cola.

At last she staggered home with her husband and collapsed into bed.

Her husband leaned over and asked, β€œWell, dear, what was it like being ten again?” One eye opened and she groaned, β€œActually, honey, I meant dress size!”

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The best way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget it once.

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Statistics show that those who have the most birthdays live the longest!

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When I was born I was so surprised I didn’t talk for a year and a half.

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Why do golfers prefer a birthday donut over a birthday cake?

Because there is a hole in one.

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I used to be a boy trapped in a woman’s body. But after 9 long months, I was finally born!

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Forget about the past, you can’t change it.

Forget about the future, you can’t predict it.

Forget about the present, I didn’t get you one.

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Why do some people get heartburn every time they eat a birthday cake?

They always forget to take off the candles.

πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„





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