Enjoy our team's carefully selected Birthday Jokes . Laugh yourself and share the funniest jokes with your friends!
Youโre gourdgeous!
๐ ๐ ๐
Hot dog, itโs your birthday!
Letโs be Frank, youโre probably planning to party your buns off, so go ahead โ donโt be a weenie!
Relish every moment of your celebration!
๐ ๐ ๐
What to give a man whoโs got everything?
A woman. Sheโll tell him how everything works.
๐ ๐ ๐
Why did the teen get a grooming kit for his birthday?
It was his shaventeenth birthday.
๐ ๐ ๐
On his 16th birthday, I thought my son deserved to know the truth about his being adopted.
So when he got home from school, I said to him, โSteve, do you mind sitting down, Iโve got something to tell you.โ
โDad, guess what?!โ he shouted excitedly.
โSteve, this is important.โ I urged.
โNo way, Dad. Listen!โ
โSteve. Please. Donโt make this hard for me. Itโs about your mum and me.โ
โDad! Shut up! Iโve just won ยฃ250,000 on a scratch card!โ
โThatโs amazing son! Your old Dadโs really made up for you!โ
๐ ๐ ๐
Itโs your birthday; letโs donuts!
๐ ๐ ๐
Yo mama so old, her birth certificate says, โExpiredโ.
๐ ๐ ๐
Yo mama so ugly, the government decided to move Halloween to her birthday.
๐ ๐ ๐
Yo mama so fat, every time she turns around itโs her birthday.
๐ ๐ ๐
What is a monsterโs favorite part of a birthday celebration?
I scream.
๐ ๐ ๐
What did the ice cream say to the grumpy birthday cake?
Whatโs eating you?
๐ ๐ ๐
Hey shorty, itโs sherbet day!
๐ ๐ ๐
How do you wish an ice cream a happy birthday?
โHope your birthday is gelato fun!โ
๐ ๐ ๐
How do you wish a mushroom a happy birthday?
Happy birthday to a real fungi!
๐ ๐ ๐
Why does the mushroom always get invited to birthday parties?
Heโs a fun-gi.
๐ ๐ ๐
Not to be Mushy but since it is your birthday I just want to say: I think you are the most Fungiing awesome mom, you are cute as a Button, you put in the fun in Fungus, you have always been there for Morel support, and you are like a Truffleโhard to find and incredibly valuable.
You are the Champion of Moms! I mean I turned out alright, not to toot my own Trumpet.
๐ ๐ ๐
Man tries to open a bank account.
Teller asks him, โYour name?โ
โJ-j-jj-hhh-on S-ss-mm-i-tthh.โ
โOh, you stutter?โ
โNo, my dad did, but the person, who did by birth certificate, was a complete moron!โ
๐ ๐ ๐
Whatโs the best way to get your husband to remember your anniversary?
Get married on his birthday!
๐ ๐ ๐
The housewife answered a knock on the door and found a total stranger standing on the doorstep.
โExcuse me for disturbing you, maโam,โ he said politely, โbut I pass your house every morning on my way to work, and Iโve noticed that every day you appear to be hitting your son on the head with a loaf of bread.โ
โThatโs right.โ
โEvery day you hit him on the head with a loaf of bread, and yet this morning you were beating him with a chocolate cake.โ
โWell, today is his birthday.โ
๐ ๐ ๐
A man asked his wife, โWhat would you most like for your birthday?โ
She said, โIโd love to be ten again.โ
On the morning of her birthday, he got her up bright and early and they went to a theme park.
He put her on every ride in the par: the Death Slide, The Screaming Loop, the Wall of Fear. She had a go on every ride there was.
She staggered out of the theme park five hours later, her head reeling and her stomach turning.
Then they were off to a movie theater where they ate popcorn and sweets and drank Cola.
At last, she staggered home with her husband and collapsed into bed.
Her husband leaned over and asked, โWell, dear, what was it like being ten again?โ One eye opened and she groaned, โActually, honey, I meant dress size!โ
๐ ๐ ๐
The best way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget it once.
๐ ๐ ๐
Statistics show that those who have the most birthdays live the longest!
๐ ๐ ๐
When I was born I was so surprised I didnโt talk for a year and a half.
๐ ๐ ๐
Why do golfers prefer a birthday donut over a birthday cake?
Because there is a hole in one.
๐ ๐ ๐
I used to be a boy trapped in a womanโs body. But after 9 long months, I was finally born!
๐ ๐ ๐
Forget about the past, you canโt change it.
Forget about the future, you canโt predict it.
Forget about the present, I didnโt get you one.
๐ ๐ ๐
Why do some people get heartburn every time they eat a birthday cake?
They always forget to take off the candles.
๐ ๐ ๐