Best Jokes (4)



What did one ghost say to the other?

Get a life!

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Yo momma’s so ugly she makes a Gammorrean seem like an attractive date.

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I went to the gym to work out, and a group of buff guys walked past me and called me a fat loser.

Technically, they were right, because I lost a lot of fat.

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Why is everyone obsessed with that new horror movie?

Like, I was driving today and this is the third time someone has rolled down their window and yelled to me β€œHey! Watch It!”.

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Programming is 10% writing code.

And 90% understanding why it’s not working.

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From now on, I will avoid food that gives me diarrhea.

It’s a solid plan.

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I’m writing a book about reverse psychology.

Please don’t buy it.

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The cast of The Wizard of Oz go out for ice cream.

The Lion stops licking his cone, yelling, β€œOuch!” and gripping his temples.

The Tinman stops licking his cone, yelling, β€œOuch!” and gripping his temples.

Dorothy stops licking her cone, yelling, β€œOuch!” and gripping her temples.

The Scarecrow says, β€œWhat’s the matter with you guys?”

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Why shouldn’t you pick a green alien for your baseball team?

They’re not ripe yet.

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April doesn’t fool Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris fools April.

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Forgot it’s April Fools’!

What’s the simplest way to really quickly get some friends, so I can prank them?

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How did the chocolate frog sneak into Hogwarts?

It used the invisibility croak.

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What do you call a suicide bomber that can tell the future?

A tarot-ist.

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Long ago, when men cursed and beat the ground with sticks, it was called witchcraft.

Today, it’s called golf.

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Snake: β€œHisssss.”

Feminist Snake: β€œHerrrrrrr.”

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The sun and moon walked into a coffee shop.

Sun: β€œOh man, I forgot my wallet!”

Moon: β€œDon’t worry, I’ll cover you.”

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How do you know that you play WoW too often?

When your microwave does β€œDING!” and you reply β€œGZ!”.

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Yo momma’s nose so big you can go bowling with her boogers!

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What does the Elf on the Shelf use to write with on the blackboard?

Chalk-olate.

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A lion would never play golf.

But a Tiger Wood.

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