It’s so cold, I farted snowflakes.
😄 😄 😄
How did the barber win the race?
He knew a short cut.
😄 😄 😄
Black people are really fast...
It’s a race thing.
😄 😄 😄
Do you know that the plural of penny is pence?
But we just say pennies because it makes more cents.
😄 😄 😄
In North Korea, you cannot throw fruits in the snow.
As they don’t have the right to freeze peach.
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King Arthur got cursed with a strange disease and only an old ugly witch can cure him.
But the witch demanded a young, handsome knight for husband, and Galahad took it for the team and married her.
On the night of the wedding, the witch turned into a beautiful woman and offered Galahad the choice, she can be old and ugly during the day, and young and beautiful at night, or vice versa.
Galahad told her that he respected her choice over her appearance and she can decide that.
The witch was pleased, as Galahad knew what a woman wanted the most, is freedom over her body.
She told Galahad that she will be a beautiful wife all the time for him.
The moral of the story is, no matter how good your wife looks, she is still a witch underneath.
😄 😄 😄
The party was a blue-ribbon event.
😄 😄 😄
Why did the moon burp?
Because it was full!
😄 😄 😄
What do you call a large group of sick pandas?
A Pandamic.
😄 😄 😄
What made the pig go to the kitchen?
Because he felt like bacon.
😄 😄 😄
For a long time, I was told I should weigh myself naked because it’s the most accurate way of measuring my weight.
If that’s true, I still don’t get why I was kicked out of the pharmacy.
😄 😄 😄
Why do llamas have such long necks?
To make sure their heads stay on.
😄 😄 😄
What do you call a parrot when he can’t fly?
A walkie talkie.
😄 😄 😄
Those who study the moon are real optimists, they tend to look at the bright side.
😄 😄 😄
How do planets pay each other?
With star bucks.
😄 😄 😄
What’s the largest species of ants?
Gi-ants.
😄 😄 😄
When I first heard the proposal to rename Oklahoma City after Ohio, I was confused as to why anyone would want that.
But after hearing someone explain the logic behind it, I thought to myself:
“OH, OK.”
😄 😄 😄
Guess what happens to a frog’s car when it breaks down?
It gets toad away.
😄 😄 😄
Do you know what really floats my boat?
Surface tension.
😄 😄 😄
Why do white people not like playing UNO with Mexicans?
They take all the green cards.
😄 😄 😄
