It’s game 7 of the NBA finals and a man makes his way to his seat at center court.
He sits down and notices that the seat next to him is empty.
He leans over and asks his neighbor if someone is sitting there.
He responds, “No, the seat’s empty.”
The first man exclaims, “What?! Who in their right mind would have a seat like this for the NBA finals and not use it?”
The neighbor responds, “Well the seat is mine, but my wife passed away and this is the first NBA finals we haven’t been together.”
The first man responds,” I’m sorry to hear that. Wasn’t there anyone else, a friend or relative, that could’ve taken that seat?”
The neighbor responds, “No, they’re all at the funeral.”
😄 😄 😄
Which kind of donuts can fly?
The plane ones.
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From the depths of your slumber, I summon thee.
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You’re so short that you had to use a toothpick to compete in the javelin.
😄 😄 😄
What did the dad say to his son when he became afraid of the full moon?
“Don’t worry! It’s just a phase it’s going through!”
😄 😄 😄
When I won the lottery, I decided to share it with my ex-wife.
So I rang her and said, “Guess what, I won the jackpot.”
😄 😄 😄
It’s a good thing snakes and dogs don’t interbreed.
Nobody wants a loyal snake.
😄 😄 😄
How do elephants bathe?
With their trunks on.
😄 😄 😄
If life hands you lemons, break out the tequila!
😄 😄 😄
When Uranus threw a party, everyone was over the moon!
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What did a dam say to the river?
“Water you thinking?”
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What does a bass guitar and a lawsuit have in common?
Everyone is relieved when the case is closed.
😄 😄 😄
Why do football players struggle at bowling?
Because they had a hard time kicking the ball!
😄 😄 😄
What would donuts’ favorite drink be?
The hole-y water.
😄 😄 😄
What’s the most common operation in a Lego hospital?
Plastic surgery.
😄 😄 😄
I have an ugly, tight pair of shorts that I only wear when every other pair is dirty.
They’re my last reshorts.
😄 😄 😄
Stephen Hawking’s death was purely accidental.
He clicked “shut down” instead of “sleep.”
😄 😄 😄
I love being a grandparent in retirement.
I give my grandkids a lot of sugar and then leave them with their parents to deal with them.
😄 😄 😄
I’m going to take you out for a morning walk.
Whether you’re sleeping or not!
😄 😄 😄
I am sweating like a crocodile in a handbag factory.
😄 😄 😄
