Best Jokes (4)



My mom said if I was awake playing Roblox, still she said she was going to bang my head against the keyboardhxhdhduhxbsfj...

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β€œMr. Jones, I’ve reviewed this case very carefully,” said the divorce court judge, β€œand I’ve decided to give your wife $300 a week.”

β€œThat’s very fair, your honor,” said the husband. β€œI’ll try and send her a few bucks myself every now and then too.”

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Why did the Croissants take the Donuts and Bagels to Disneyland?

They thought it would be fun for the hole family.

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A blond goes up to the librarian.

Blond: β€œCan I have a hot dog?”

Librarian: β€œSorry, Madam, but this is a library.”

Blond: β€œOh, sorry!” says quietly. β€œCan I have a hot dog?”

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Did you hear about the woman who tried to bribe the police with pennies?

She was taken in by the coppers.

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It’s true women do make less money than men. But it’s their fault because they choose the lower-paying jobs.

Men, for example, choose higher-paying jobs like doctor or lawyer.

Whereas women choose lower-paying jobs like women doctor and women lawyer.

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My wife hates it when I swap her chocolate bar wrappers round.

It gets her Snickers in a Twix.

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What do you call a hot dog race?

Wiener takes all.

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My friend said he was going to start a feeling-blue club, but I declined.

I’m more of an upbeat kind of person.

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Where do Yetis go to dance?

To a snow ball.

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Your mama so short she went under Trump’s wallο»Ώ.

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When weeding, the best way to make sure you are removing a weed and not a valuable plant is to pull on it.

If it comes out of the ground easily, it is a valuable plant.

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Batman goes to a party. To his surprise, he sees that the Joker is there too.

β€œHe must be up to something,” he thinks. And so he sneaks up behind him, knocks him out, and puts him in a back room.

When walks out, he sees the Joker again.

β€œHow did he recover so quickly?” Once again he knocks him out and puts him in the back room.

Coming out a third time, he sees the Joker yet again.

β€œHow can this be?!” Now furious, Batman confronts him, grabs him by his vest, and shouts, β€œWhat are you doing here, Joker?!”

And he replies, β€œI’m enjoying this Halloween party, dude!”

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Never trust an electrician with no eyebrows.

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I orchestrate my mornings to the tune of coffee.

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What kind of monkey doesn’t eat bananas?

An orangutan.

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I promised my new girlfriend the sun, the moon and the stars...

So, I took her to the planetarium.

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Coding Rules:

β€’ If it’s working, don’t touch it.

β€’ Bad code can’t be debugged. Neither can good code.

β€’ If you don’t know something, Google it.

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What do Saiyans wear to the beach?

Trunks.

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What sort of room can you eat?

A mushroom.

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