Best Jokes (4)



How do gingers support each other?

By rooting for them.

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Are aliens from invasion movies actually British?

Because all they do is colonize.

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What do you call 10 Dallas Cowboys fans on the moon?

A problem.

What do you call 100 Dallas Cowboys fans on the moon?

A problem.

What do you call 1000 Dallas Cowboys fans on the moon?

Still a problem.

What do you call all of the Dallas Cowboys fans on the moon?

PROBLEM SOLVED!

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Why does Ireland have the fastest-growing economy in the world?

Because its capital is Dublin all the time!

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Knock! Knock!

β€œWho’s there?”

β€œBoy.”

β€œBoy, who?”

β€œBoy do I love St. Paddy’s Day!”

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Knock! Knock!

β€œWho’s there?”

β€œAida.”

β€œAida, who?”

β€œAida big breakfast and now I'm stuffed.”

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What did the client say when they saw the final ad concept?

β€œCan we make the logo bigger?”

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Why don’t mushrooms always get along?

They like to shii-take others.

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Knock! Knock!

β€œWho’s there?”

β€œMark.”

β€œMark, who?”

β€œMark your calendar, because my birthday’s coming!”

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β€œMr. Jones, I’ve reviewed this case very carefully,” said the divorce court judge, β€œand I’ve decided to give your wife $300 a week.”

β€œThat’s very fair, your honor,” said the husband. β€œI’ll try and send her a few bucks myself every now and then too.”

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The economy’s so bad the other day I saw a Mormon with only one wife.

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Chuck Norris can fold a fitted sheet.

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Last year on Mother’s Day we had a big family get-together.

Afterwards my Mom starting getting ready to do the dishes.

Of course I couldn’t let her do that on her special day.

I said, β€œLeave the dishes, Mom. You can always do them tomorrow.”

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Why do SEOs love the farmers market?

Lots of organic content!

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Why are the most attractive males in the anthill also very learned?

Because they’re stud-ants.

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Why can’t you trust an atom?

They make up everything.

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What happened to the fungi who moved into a New York apartment?

He didn’t have mush-room.

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I told my friend that I want to live on Uranus.

They said, β€œI guess you’re really into extreme living conditions!”

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What does a meditating egg say?

Ohmmmmmmmlet.

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A guy walks into a bar and orders a beer. β€œHow did Thanksgiving go at your place?” the bartender asks.

β€œOh, it went fine. Had a lot of family over and the wife prepared the meal. I helped out, though. She got a little stressed out and told me she needed some peace and quiet in the kitchen so she could finish cooking,” the guy says. β€œSo I removed all the batteries from the smoke detectors.”

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