I can’t imagine the stress put on the workers in trying to figure out the newest flu vaccine...
It probably puts a strain on the staff.
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Knock! Knock!
“Who’s there?”
“Ireland.”
“Ireland, who?”
“Ire land you in time-out, so be nice.”
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Why did the orthopedic surgeon bring a radio into surgery?
Because he wanted to tune into the hip-est station.
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Arthas and Ulther walk into a room.
Arthas notices a switch on the wall and asks Uther what it’s for.
Uther looks at him and replies, “FOR THE LIGHT!”
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The student asked the teacher, “Cashew a question?”
And the teacher replied, “Nut now”.
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What was the Elf on the Shelf’s favorite Olympic event?
North Pole-vault.
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Pharmacist: A helper on the farm.
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A famous Australian fashion designer created a special collection of denim trousers for the indigenous population.
He calls them “aborijeans”.
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Why do Stormtroopers only have iPhones?
Because they couldn’t find the Androids they were looking for.
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Guess what?
It’s morning!
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What time did Goofy have a dentist appointment?
Tooth Hurty.
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Yo mama so fat her preferred pronoun is they.
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Little Johnny was sitting in class one day and the teacher was talking about life.
She asks him: “Little Johnny, what do you want your wife to be like?”
He: “Like the moon.”
The teacher: “That’s such a beautiful answer because it's calm and peaceful”.
Little Johnny: “No, because it appears at night and disappears in the morning.”
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If two avocado are “avocados”.
Then shouldn’t three avocado be “avocatres”, and four be “avoquatro”, and five be “avocinco”?
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Why did the alien bring a gift to Uranus?
It wanted to show its appreciation for the atmosphere.
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What is messy coder’s blood group?
Type O.
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What state has the most math teachers?
Math-achusetts.
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My friends keep calling me a joker.
But no matter how many decks of cards I search through, I still can’t find my face on a single one.
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What do sweet potatoes wear to bed?
Yammies.
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Knock! Knock!
“Who’s there?”
“Europe.”
“Europe, who?”
“No, YOU’RE a poo!”
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