“Dad, did you ever fall in love?”
“Yes, son. I did once.”
“And, what happened?”
“In the beginning it was fantastic, but then your mother found out.”
😄 😄 😄
If you ate both pasta and antipasto, would you still be hungry?
😄 😄 😄
Why did the astronaut bring a ladder to Uranus?
To reach for the stars.
😄 😄 😄
Why did Chuck Norris destroy the periodic table?
Because Chuck Norris only recognizes the element of surprise.
😄 😄 😄
What did Bruno Mars bring to the Thanksgiving Potluck?
24 Karat cakes.
😄 😄 😄
Knock! Knock!
“Who’s there?”
“Who who.”
“Who who, who?”
“Santa is that you?”
😄 😄 😄
Why did the llama win the rap battle?
Because he was good at spitting.
😄 😄 😄
What are bombing instructors in Jihad camps getting tired of hearing?
“OK Boomer!”
😄 😄 😄
Around 80% of all Asians who move to America get cataracts.
The remaining 20% usually buy chevrorets, rexus or rincoln. Some even get rand lover.
😄 😄 😄
Remember when you ate a kid’s meal at McDonald’s?
His parents were pissed.
😄 😄 😄
How do bulls write?
With a bullpen.
😄 😄 😄
Can you guess what the left eye said to the right eye?
Between you and I, something smells.
😄 😄 😄
What do you call a Volleyball player who hurt her knee diving for the ball?
Courtney.
😄 😄 😄
How do you keep a violin from being stolen?
Put it in a viola case.
😄 😄 😄
Why couldn’t the computer science student read his textbook?
He couldn’t find page 404.
😄 😄 😄
In Jewish doctrine, when does a fetus become a human?
When it graduates from medical school.
😄 😄 😄
What does a bookworm do during a baseball game?
Worm the bench.
😄 😄 😄
Bird flu.
Bird landed.
😄 😄 😄
My son identifies as a crescent moon.
I’m worried, but my wife says it’s just a phase.
😄 😄 😄
If the Pilgrims were alive today, what would they be most famous for?
Their age.
😄 😄 😄
