What happened when the pig pen broke?
They had to use the pig pencil.
😄 😄 😄
She got fired from the hot dog stand for putting her hair in a bun.
😄 😄 😄
Took my car to the mechanic because it was making a terrible noise.
He removed the Mariah Carey Christmas CD and now it’s fine.
😄 😄 😄
What would donuts’ favorite drink be?
The hole-y water.
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Chuck Norris recently had the idea to sell his pee as a canned beverage.
It’s now called Red Bull.
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Your mama so short she has to slam dunk her bus fare.
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I came home to an intervention put on by my ex-lovers, my mom and my dad.
And this is why we need the Oxford comma.
😄 😄 😄
Why did a dog enter the church in the middle of a religious mass?
Because he was a German shepherd.
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Why did the elephant decide not to move?
Because he couldn’t lift his trunk.
😄 😄 😄
What’s the coldest fish in the sea?
A blue whale.
😄 😄 😄
A shark just ate my girlfriend during our fishing trip.
Will you be my new one?
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I got a haircut today, but I’m never going back to that barber.
I asked for one hair cut, and he cut all of them.
😄 😄 😄
Some people say rolling dice for stats in D&D is old-fashioned and outdated.
But I think it builds character.
😄 😄 😄
Why did the blue-colored fruit hide?
It was feeling blue.
😄 😄 😄
How many Manchester United fans does it take to change a lightbulb?
Seven. One to change it, five to moan about it, and Ferguson to say if the ref had done his job in the first place the light bulb would have never gone out.
😄 😄 😄
During a business meeting yesterday, a very nice guy asked me about my background.
So I told him about my family, education, career, dreams and goals.
Turns out he was asking what’s behind me on our Zoom call.
😄 😄 😄
Our love is a fruit salad!
We are a great pear and I cherryish you.
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What dog can’t bark?
A hot dog.
😄 😄 😄
I don’t work well under pressure...
...or any other circumstance.
😄 😄 😄
What’s worse than having a big nose?
Having a big nose and tiny hands!
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