Best Jokes (4)



If two vegetarians have a heated argument, can it still be called β€œbeef”?

Nah, it’s just a case of two people who have bad β€œtempehs.”

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Chocolate is like guns.

If you pull it out in school, then everybody is suddenly your friend.

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What’s a hairdresser’s favorite Christmas song?

β€œOh, comb all ye faithful...”

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What’s the square root of Minecraft?

There are three, actually: the potatoes, the carrots, and the beetroots.

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Is your name Google?

Because you have everything I’m searching for.

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Yo mama so tall she tripped in America and landed in Australia.

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Yo mama so fat when she walked out in August in her yellow sun dress and the kids said, β€œMommy, it’s time for school!”

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What does space smell like?

Uranus!

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The new Australian short-sleeved, marsupial shirts are REALLY good!

In fact, you could say they have a high level of koala-t

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Knock! Knock!

β€œWho’s there?”

β€œIvana.”

β€œIvana, who?”

β€œIvana piece of your birthday cake.”

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The irate customer calling the newspaper offices, loudly demanded to know where her Sunday edition was.

β€œMa’am,” said the employee, β€œtoday is Saturday. The Sunday paper is not delivered until Sunday.”

There was quite a pause on the other end of the phone, followed by a ray of recognition, β€œSo that’s why no one was in church today...”

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I might have to reconsider my kosher hot dog business...

For some reason, Anne’s Franks hasn’t been very popular with the target audience.

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My girlfriend told me I care more about my programming job than about her.

I told her she is the #1 thing I care about.

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Did you know, you can make any dish an autumn dish by adding one simple step?

Try dropping it on the floor.

It really gives it that fall flavor.

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The economy’s so bad the other day I saw a Mormon with only one wife.

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How do you get a D&D player to go out with you?

You ask them for a d8.

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Why are there gingerbread men but not gingerbread women?

It’s a pastryarchy.

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What’s the worst thing about having a big nose?

Birds are always perching on it!

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What number do you call in a Taco emergency?

Nine Juan Juan.

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What do you call a chocolate Easter Bunny that was out in the sun too long?

A runny bunny.

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