Best Jokes (4)



Guess what the name of my new computer processor is?

Chip.

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Blonde enters the pharmacy.

β€œDo you have a pregnancy test?”

β€œYes, we do.”

β€œAre questions hard?”

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There’s a reason our nose is in the middle of our face.

It’s because that’s the scenter.

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Where does a beard stylist buy their grooming products?

At a Shaven Eleven.

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Why did the baker stop making donuts?

He got tired of the HOLE business.

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Why did the bearded man sue the barber who sneakily shaved off his beard?

He barber-ed a grudge against him.

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Behind every successful student, there is a deactivated Facebook account.

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What is a moth’s favorite type of glasses?

Lampshades.

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β€œKnock! Knock!”

β€œWho’s there?”

β€œDee.”

β€œDee, who?”

β€œDEEZ NUTS!”

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My favorite geology professor died today.

My sediments are with his family.

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What’s the name of the Democratic skeleton from Brooklyn, New York who’s running for president?

Bony Sanders.

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A boy was riding his bicycle, and he sees his mom on the porch.

He releases the handle and yells to his mom, β€œLook mom, no hands!”

His mom replies, β€œBe careful, honey.”

Then he releases his legs from the pedals and says, β€œLook mom, no legs!”

His mom replies more sternly, β€œBe careful, honey.”

The little boy then abruptly falls, to the dismay of his mom.

The boy slowly gets back up and says, β€œLook mom, no teeth!”

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What do aliens like to eat?

Unidentified frying objects!

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A man goes to an ice cream stall in Siberia.

The owner asks, β€œWhich type of ice cream? The ice cream from the freezer, or the ice cream on the display cabinet?”

The man replies, β€œThe one in the freezer, I’m pretty sure it’s warmer in there.”

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What did the fungi say when he was offered seconds at dinner?

β€œNo thanks. I don’t have mush-room left in my stomach.”

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How does a man from Alabama hold up his pants?

With a bible belt.

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Scientists have discovered that, on occasion, an octopus will β€œpunch” a fish for no reason other than spite.

That’s called Toxic Molluskulinity.

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It is hotter than jalapenos and spice on rye.

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My uncle always refused to obey his controlling wife.

He was defy-aunt.

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Why did the manaless Syndra run from the team fight?

She didn’t have the balls.

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