Best Jokes (4)



I tried to organize my life like Pinterest.

But it ended up looking more like a messy DIY project.

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Your forehead is so big that the teachers use it as a whiteboard.

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Pessimists are like German vegetarians.

They fear the wurst.

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The attorney kept trying to sue the car dealership over their faulty vehicles.

It was a case of lemon-law.

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What’s the hardest part of the roofing business?

The overhead.

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Johnny tried to buy a toy car with Monopoly money at the store.

The cashier said, β€œThere’s no way I can take this. It’s fake.”

Johnny said, β€œWell, the car’s not real either.”

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Yo momma’s so fat Yoda couldn’t use the Force to move her.

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How are pandas made?

You punch a polar bear in the eyes.

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Guess what I found in the creepy old professors’ closet?

Narnia business

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Why was the man who grew his beard for an entire year afraid of the barber?

The barber was a hairbinger of doom for him!

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What do you call a man with a shovel on his head?

An ambulance, he’s clearly injured.

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It was recently announced that a franchise was building a new Taco Bell in Tuscaloosa.

The university responsed, β€œWhy do we need another phone company?”

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High five! Oops... I guess you’re now stuck with me.

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In Canada, you are more likely to die of a kick of a moose than a terrorist attack.

Those damn moose limbs.

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My dog has no sense of humor.

Every time I say β€œknock knock” he just starts barking.

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My teacher told me I couldn’t make a joke about Uranus in class.

But hey, it’s my orbit!

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Why did the alien throw beef on the asteroid?

He wanted it a little meteor!

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Why did Messi bring string to the game?

Because he wanted to tie the score.

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Why was the jack-o’-lantern afraid to cross the road?

He had no guts.

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Where does a beard stylist buy their grooming products?

At a Shaven Eleven.

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