My mom said if I was awake playing Roblox, still she said she was going to bang my head against the keyboardhxhdhduhxbsfj...
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βMr. Jones, Iβve reviewed this case very carefully,β said the divorce court judge, βand Iβve decided to give your wife $300 a week.β
βThatβs very fair, your honor,β said the husband. βIβll try and send her a few bucks myself every now and then too.β
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Why did the Croissants take the Donuts and Bagels to Disneyland?
They thought it would be fun for the hole family.
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A blond goes up to the librarian.
Blond: βCan I have a hot dog?β
Librarian: βSorry, Madam, but this is a library.β
Blond: βOh, sorry!β says quietly. βCan I have a hot dog?β
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Did you hear about the woman who tried to bribe the police with pennies?
She was taken in by the coppers.
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Itβs true women do make less money than men. But itβs their fault because they choose the lower-paying jobs.
Men, for example, choose higher-paying jobs like doctor or lawyer.
Whereas women choose lower-paying jobs like women doctor and women lawyer.
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My wife hates it when I swap her chocolate bar wrappers round.
It gets her Snickers in a Twix.
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What do you call a hot dog race?
Wiener takes all.
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My friend said he was going to start a feeling-blue club, but I declined.
Iβm more of an upbeat kind of person.
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Where do Yetis go to dance?
To a snow ball.
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Your mama so short she went under Trumpβs wallο»Ώ.
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When weeding, the best way to make sure you are removing a weed and not a valuable plant is to pull on it.
If it comes out of the ground easily, it is a valuable plant.
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Batman goes to a party. To his surprise, he sees that the Joker is there too.
βHe must be up to something,β he thinks. And so he sneaks up behind him, knocks him out, and puts him in a back room.
When walks out, he sees the Joker again.
βHow did he recover so quickly?β Once again he knocks him out and puts him in the back room.
Coming out a third time, he sees the Joker yet again.
βHow can this be?!β Now furious, Batman confronts him, grabs him by his vest, and shouts, βWhat are you doing here, Joker?!β
And he replies, βIβm enjoying this Halloween party, dude!β
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Never trust an electrician with no eyebrows.
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I orchestrate my mornings to the tune of coffee.
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What kind of monkey doesnβt eat bananas?
An orangutan.
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I promised my new girlfriend the sun, the moon and the stars...
So, I took her to the planetarium.
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Coding Rules:
β’ If itβs working, donβt touch it.
β’ Bad code canβt be debugged. Neither can good code.
β’ If you donβt know something, Google it.
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What do Saiyans wear to the beach?
Trunks.
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What sort of room can you eat?
A mushroom.
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