I’ve finally worked out why Spain is so good at football.
Nobody expects the Spanish in position.
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A web developer walks into a restaurant.
He immediately leaves in disgust as the restaurant was laid out in tables.
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At the party, the vegetarian girl won’t eat the mushrooms reason being, somebody told her that they were oyster mushrooms.
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What do you call a pharmacist working at a veterinary drug company?
A FARM-ASSIST.
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A jobless man applied for the position of Office Boy at a very big company.
The employer interviewed him, then a test “Clean the Floor”.
“You are hired,” the employer said. “Give me your email address, and I’ll send you the application to fill out, as well as when you will start.”
The man replied, “I don’t have a computer or an email.”
“I’m sorry,” said the employer, “if you don’t have an email that means you do not exist. And who doesn’t exist, cannot have the job.”
The man left with no hope. He didn’t know what to do, with only $10 USD in his pocket.
He then decided to go to the supermarket, bought a 10 kg tomato crate, then sold the tomatoes door to door. In less than two hours, he succeeded and doubled his capital.
He repeated the operation 3 times and returned home with $60 USD. The man realized that he could survive this way, and started to go every day earlier, and returned late. Thus, his money doubled or tripled every day. Shortly later, he bought a cart, then a truck, and then he had his fleet of delivery vehicles.
Five years later, the man’s company was one of the biggest food retailers. He started to plan his family’s future and decided to have life insurance.
He called an insurance broker and chose a protection plan. When the conversation was concluded, the broker asked him for his email.
The man replied, “I don’t have an email.”
The broker replied curiously, “You don’t have an email, and yet have succeeded to build an empire. Can you imagine what you could have been if you had an email?”
The man paused for a while and replied, “An office boy!”
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Why was the cook late to Thanksgiving dinner?
He lost track of thyme.
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In a place without geometry...
Life is pointless.
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Ohayo means “good morning” in Japanese.
And that is the most interesting thing about Ohio.
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On your 40th birthday, you might feel old.
You might be right!
😄 😄 😄
What do you call people with big ears?
Nothing, they might hear you.
😄 😄 😄
A captain notices a light in the distance, on a collision course with his ship.
He turns on his signal lamp and sends, “Change your course, 10 degrees west.”
The light signals back, “Change yours, 10 degrees east.”
The captain gets a little annoyed.
He signals, “I’m a US Navy captain. You must change your course, sir.”
The light signals back, “I’m a Seaman First Class. You must change your course, sir.”
Now the captain is mad.
He signals, “I’m an aircraft carrier. I’m not changing my course.”
The light signals back a final message, “I’m a lighthouse. Your call.”
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Patient: “Doctor, doctor! I’ve swallowed my money!”
Doctor: “Take this, and we’ll see if there’s any change in the morning.”
😄 😄 😄
I was too lazy to go out shopping today, so to make it feel like Black Friday, I punched a few family members while online shopping.
😄 😄 😄
Yo Mamas teeth are so yellow I can’t believe it’s not butter.
😄 😄 😄
Why didn’t the zombie go to school?
He felt rotten!
😄 😄 😄
I thought I saw a squirrel on the roof.
But it was just a roofing nut.
😄 😄 😄
Why do one-legged people like beer?
Because it’s made with hops.
😄 😄 😄
Why did the influenza virus break up with its girlfriend?
She was too cold to him.
😄 😄 😄
Blessed be your morning, o holy one!
😄 😄 😄
What is Spider-Man’s favorite online music app?
Spot-a-fly.
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