Two yokels were driving to the next village’s May Day Fair.
They came to a sign that said: May Day Fair Left.
So they turned around and went home.
😄 😄 😄
My crush told me I smelled nice.
Then she asked me where I bought my cologne so she could buy her boyfriend some.
😄 😄 😄
Why is the moon so grumpy?
It’s just going through one of its phases.
😄 😄 😄
Yo mama so fat Darth Vader couldn’t even force choke her.
😄 😄 😄
What did the angry witch do while riding her broom?
She flew off the handle.
😄 😄 😄
An electrician needed to change 8 fluorescent lamps to brighten up a large conference room at our office.
I asked him if he needed a hand carrying them.
He said, “No, this is light.”
😄 😄 😄
What do you call a talking turtle?
A cartoon.
😄 😄 😄
I found out today that some alligators grow up to 15 feet!
Most of them only have 4 though.
😄 😄 😄
If a baker assaults somebody with a baguette...
Can he be charged with assault with a breadly weapon?
😄 😄 😄
What do you do when you see a severely injured pig that requires immediate medical attention?
You call the hambulance.
😄 😄 😄
The red panda had a wild night last night.
He was caught red-handed.
😄 😄 😄
A bearded man walks into a bar, “Everybody’s drinks are on me tonight!”
He then drank his beer, went to the restroom, and shaved his beard.
later he went to the bartender and asked, “How much should I pay?”
“No, sir, a bearded gentleman has paid for your drink tonight.”
“Ok,” and he left.
😄 😄 😄
Why do “tug” boats push their barges?
😄 😄 😄
When the moon is being super grumpy, its parents turn to each other and say, “Gibbous strength!”
😄 😄 😄
Knock! Knock!
“Who’s there?”
“I did up.”
“I did up, who?”
“Eww, you did a poo?”
😄 😄 😄
Which element is treated as the god element in organic chemistry?
Carbon. It is omnipresent in all organic compounds.
😄 😄 😄
My wife told me she doesn’t want much this Valentine’s Day.
She said “just some chocolates and a few little surprises will be fine”.
Kinder Eggs it is then.
😄 😄 😄
Knock! Knock!
“Who’s there?”
“The Headless Horseman.”
“The Headless Horseman, who?”
“The Headless Horseman who’s coming for your head!”
😄 😄 😄
Black Friday – the day when people spend money they don’t have on things they don’t need.
😄 😄 😄
Teacher: “If your father has $10, and you
asked for $5, how much will your father
have?”
Akpos: “$10.”
Teacher: “You don’t know maths.”
Akpos: “You don’t know my father!”
😄 😄 😄
