Best Jokes (4)



Why did the dyslexic couple learn karate?

They tried to get some marital counselling but ended up with martial training.

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What kind of magic does a love-struck giraffe practice?

Neck-romance-y.

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What did you tell the shopkeeper at the grocery store?

Donut mind me, I am here for the hole food.

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A car salesman asked me, β€œWhat are you looking for in a car?”

I said, β€œIt has to be affordable.”

He said, β€œI’m sorry, sir, I’ve never heard of a Ford Ibble.”

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Why did the smiley face have hair over its face?

It’s an emo-ji.

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What dog can’t bark?

A hot dog.

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My friend doesn’t like being called Squidward.

He told me, β€œBut I hate SpongeBob!”

I said, β€œThat’s the spirit!”

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Did you hear about the $4,000,000 Alabama State Lottery?

The winner gets $4 a year for a million years.

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A wife asks her husband, β€œCould you please go shopping for me and buy one carton of milk and, if they have avocados, get six.”

A short time later, the husband returns with six cartons of milk.

β€œWhy did you buy six cartons of milk?” the wife asks.

He replies, β€œThey had avocados.”

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β€œDude, guess what?”

β€œWhat?”

β€œI can’t believe they’re still together after all that crap they’ve been through?”

β€œWho?”

β€œMy butt cheeks.”

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Those who study the moon are real optimists, they tend to look at the bright side.

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A guy is sitting in a bar and turns to the Asian guy next to him and asks, β€œHey, do you know Tae Kwon Do, Jiu Jitsu, Kung Fu or anything like that?”

Offended, the Asian man replies, β€œWhat you think that just because I’m Asian, I know martial arts?”

The man replies, β€œNah, it’s because you’re drinking my damn bourbon!”

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In North Korea, you cannot throw fruits in the snow.

As they don’t have the right to freeze peach.

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It’s hotter than a handful of hells out here!

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Guess what horses, donkeys, cows, goats, and sheep all have in common?

They’re all very stable animals.

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Fourteen mushrooms were sitting at a lunch table. One more asked to join.

One of them said, β€œSorry there is not mush-room.”

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What did the planets drink when they wanted to bulk up?

Milky Whey.

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What is a cactus’s favorite Minions movie?

Des-prick-able Me.

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You are so dumb you returned a puzzle because it was broken.

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What did the dad say to his son when he became afraid of the full moon?

β€œDon’t worry! It’s just a phase it’s going through!”

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