Best Jokes (4)



Did you hear about the lazy flower who finally got his act together?

He just needed a kick in the bud.

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I had a nightmare last night that my TikTok account was deleted.

It was scary because I thought I had a TikTok account for a second.

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Where did Vecna go for 8 years?

On a diet.

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You’re so short that when you get angry at people for making fun of you, all you can do is bite their ankles.

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Roses are red, violets are blue.

A face like yours, belongs in a zoo.

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I was thinking of getting rid of the beard.

But I’ve had it for so long that at this point, it makes the decisions for me.

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What do you call cheese that’s not yours?

Nacho cheese.

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Who wants a day just for fools?

When you’re surrounded by them all year.

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What is the result of an art competition?

A draw.

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I’m not afraid to crack a joke about Uranus.

It’s a gas!

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Why did the husband refuse to watch Dr. Strange for a movie night with his wife?

He had Stranger Things to watch.

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I sued the airport the other day because they didn’t want to give me my luggage.

Guess what, I lost the case.

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I promised my new girlfriend the sun, the moon and the stars...

So, I took her to the planetarium.

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What dessert do they serve in Super Mario?

Princess Peach Pie.

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Why do blueberries get along with everyone?

They’re naturally blue-tiful.

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The baby tomato was running late for school. Guess what his mommy said?

β€œCome on, ketch-up!”

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Where can you get 100% off on everything on Black Friday?

At home by not going out.

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A telephone rang.

β€œHello! Is your phone number 444-4444?”

β€œYes, it is,” came the reply.

β€œThank Goodness! Could you call 911 for me? I super-glued my finger to the phone.”

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Yo mama so ugly she threw a boomerang and it refused to come back.

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On my tombstone, please write β€œNot appreciating my puns was a grave mistake.”

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