Your mama so dumb she got fired from the M & M factory for throwing away all the W's.
😄 😄 😄
What’s the difference between an architect and an engineer?
If architects built all the buildings, they would fall down on their own.
If engineers built all the buildings, they’d be so ugly, we’d tear them all down.
😄 😄 😄
What’s a mathematician’s favorite part of Thanksgiving?
Pumpkin pi.
😄 😄 😄
At Thanksgiving, my brother tried to carve the turkey with a grapefruit spoon.
He’s not the sharpest knife in the drawer.
😄 😄 😄
Where did the vampire teacher throw the Teachers’ Day party?
In Pencilvania.
😄 😄 😄
A statistician can have his head in an oven and his feet in ice, and he will say that on the average he feels fine.
😄 😄 😄
It’s been raining for days now and my husband seems very depressed by it.
He keeps standing by the window, staring. If it continues, I’m going to have to let him in.
😄 😄 😄
What happens when you go to the beach in hell?
You get a SaTan.
😄 😄 😄
Did you hear about the Tauren and the Gnome that escaped from the Stormwind stockades?
The guards are searching for them high and low.
😄 😄 😄
What’s something usually insulting, but not on Thanksgiving?
A family member giving you the bird.
😄 😄 😄
I smiled right after getting up.
I think I dislocated my face.
Good morning!
😄 😄 😄
How many guitar players does it take to cover a Stevie Ray Vaughan tune?
All of them, evidently.
😄 😄 😄
Did you know that you only need two letters to spell panda?
You just need P and A.
😄 😄 😄
Why do Troy State students have such beautiful noses?
They’re hand picked.
😄 😄 😄
My pet turtle died.
I’m not upset—just shell-shocked.
😄 😄 😄
Which one of Santa’s helpers visits mermaids?
The Elf on the Shelfish.
😄 😄 😄
What do you have against some people?
Well… for example, knives, sticks, daggers, submachine guns, grenades…
😄 😄 😄
A brief rise in suicide is related to the Covid pandemic.
Murderers are working from home.
😄 😄 😄
I tell you, my wife is a lousy cook.
After dinner, I don’t brush my teeth, I count them!
😄 😄 😄
How did the data scientist get his girlfriend to become an attractive model?
By training her.
😄 😄 😄
