Best Jokes (4)



Why did the Smurfs kick Papa Smurf out of their village?

He was giving them all the blues.

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It’s hotter than a witch’s boiling pot during Halloween.

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My Ph.D. thesis was on cattle raised in the Roman city of Pompeii.

To understand it all, I had to visit the ancient mooins.

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I try to avoid making nun jokes, but it’s a farce of habit.

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One time Chuck Norris was pulled over, he let the cop off with a warning.

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My Tinder match said she’d talk to me again when she got home.

Guess she’s homeless.

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What did Bruce Banner say to Spider-Man?

Don’t bug me!

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I told my husband that the National Zoo’s sloth bear gave birth but ate two of the three babies.

He said, β€œNow she’s guilty of 2 deadly sins: sloth and gluttony.”

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I bought some blue shoes to wear to the office.

But they made me feel downright feet-talistic.

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What do you call someone who doesn’t believe it is June yet?

A May-sayer.

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Wake up! Wake up! Wake up!

Can I come over yet?

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Where does a kangaroo go that can’t hop?

Hopspital.

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Who hides in the bakery at Christmas?

A mince spy.

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Why do cats like August month?

Because it marks the end of the dog days of summer.

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The road to success is always under construction.

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Spider-Man and Black Widow first met on the web.

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I visited a real graveyard yesterday...

I logged back into Myspace.

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Guess what I found in the creepy old professors’ closet?

Narnia business

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What do we learn from cows, buffaloes, and elephants?

It’s impossible to reduce weight by eating green grass and salads and walking.

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A policeman pulls a man over for speeding and asks him to get out of the car.

After looking the man over he says, β€œSir, I couldn’t help but notice your eyes are bloodshot. Have you been drinking?”

The man gets really annoyed and says, β€œOfficer, I couldn’t help but notice your eyes are glazed. Have you been eating doughnuts?”

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