Best Jokes (4)



How did the 30-year-old gardener celebrate their birthday?

By receiving a thirtree as a gift!

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If my nose runs, should I catch it?

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Donut underestimate the power of baked goods.

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Flight attendant: β€œDo we have a doctor on board?”

Me: β€œI have a PhD in mathematics.”

Flight attendant: β€œOne passenger is having a heart attack and one passenger is having an asthma attack.”

Me (nodding): β€œThat makes two.”

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Your mama so short she has to slam dunk her bus fare.

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What’s the problem with twin witches?

You never know which witch is which.

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I was at the paint store the other day and after the guy put my paint on the counter he asks, β€œDo you wanna box for that?”

I replied, β€œNo but I’ll wrestle you for it.”

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Today I made a big pot of pasta,

but when I went to dump the pot into the sink, I think I strained something.

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Yo mama so stupid she brought a spoon to the Superbowl.

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A person checks into a hotel for the first time in his life, and goes up to his room.

Five minutes later, he calls the desk and say, β€œYou’ve given me a room with no exit. How do I leave?”

The desk clerk says, β€œSir, that’s absurd. Have you looked for the door?”

The person says, β€œWell, there’s one door that leads to the bathroom. There’s a second door that goes into the closet. And there’s a door I haven’t tried, but it has a β€œDo not disturb” sign on it.”

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God initially planned to use wasps to pollinate flowers.

But in the end, he went with plan Bee.

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I wonder if the moon prefers coffee or gravi-tea?

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Next time someone complains about Millennials, remind them which generation linoleumed over all those beautiful hard-wood floors.

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Chuck Norris assigns his teachers homework.

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Officer: β€œDo you know why I stopped you?”

Blonde: β€œBecause I didn’t pull out of the donut shop too fast?”

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What type of music do Amish people like?

Tech no.

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My teacher always tells me to follow my dreams, but she won’t let me sleep in class.

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Every Spider-Man needs a Mary Jane...

Can you be my Mary Jane?

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β€œGuess what?”

β€œWhat?”

β€œGood guess.”

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What do you call a guy floating up and down in the water?

Bob.

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