What do you call a pastry that is a priest?
A Holy Donut.
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I wanted to ask Spider-Man to connect my TV, but I couldn’t find Maguire.
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What’s a sad shade of blue?
Bereaved.
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I am a nobody, nobody is perfect, therefore I am perfect.
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Why are people celebrating Pi Day?
It’s irrational.
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My roofing business is having a great promotion right now.
If you buy one roof, the next one is on the house.
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Yo mama so ugly Freddy and his friends hide from her.
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Harry Styles’ birthday is coming up.
And I’m so Styles-ed for it.
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Your mama so hot rangers banned her from National Parks for starting forest fires.
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Yo mama so stupid Jar Jar questioned her existence!
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Concrete and steel had a debate.
It was a hard conversation.
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“Hi there, I heard that you are a huge fan of Dee.”
“Dee who?”
“DEEZ NUTS!”
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Yo mama is so stupid that she thinks Tiger Woods is a forest in India.
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What do a unicorn and an ocean filled with orange soda have in common?
They are both a Fanta sea.
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Knock! Knock!
“Who’s there?”
“Ooze.”
“Ooze, who?”
“Ooze that monster over there?”
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Yo momma’s so smelly it would make a Hutt smell good.
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A hot dog and a hamburger are having a drink at the bar.
The hot dog says, “I’ve got some bad news for you and I can either sugarcoat it or give it to you straight.”
The hamburger replies, “Please, beef frank.”
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Why did the chicken cross the road?
To bock traffic.
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Are you trying to moon-ipulate me?
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A Polish man calls 911.
Operator: “911, what’s your emergency?”
Pole: “Help! My wife is trying to kill me!”
Operator: “How do you know?”
Pole: “I checked her medicine cabinet and found ‘Polish Remover’!”
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