Two yokels were driving to the next villageβs May Day Fair.
They came to a sign that said: May Day Fair Left.
So they turned around and went home.
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My crush told me I smelled nice.
Then she asked me where I bought my cologne so she could buy her boyfriend some.
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Why is the moon so grumpy?
Itβs just going through one of its phases.
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Yo mama so fat Darth Vader couldnβt even force choke her.
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What did the angry witch do while riding her broom?
She flew off the handle.
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An electrician needed to change 8 fluorescent lamps to brighten up a large conference room at our office.
I asked him if he needed a hand carrying them.
He said, βNo, this is light.β
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What do you call a talking turtle?
A cartoon.
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I found out today that some alligators grow up to 15 feet!
Most of them only have 4 though.
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If a baker assaults somebody with a baguette...
Can he be charged with assault with a breadly weapon?
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What do you do when you see a severely injured pig that requires immediate medical attention?
You call the hambulance.
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The red panda had a wild night last night.
He was caught red-handed.
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A bearded man walks into a bar, βEverybodyβs drinks are on me tonight!β
He then drank his beer, went to the restroom, and shaved his beard.
later he went to the bartender and asked, βHow much should I pay?β
βNo, sir, a bearded gentleman has paid for your drink tonight.β
βOk,β and he left.
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Why do βtugβ boats push their barges?
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When the moon is being super grumpy, its parents turn to each other and say, βGibbous strength!β
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Knock! Knock!
βWhoβs there?β
βI did up.β
βI did up, who?β
βEww, you did a poo?β
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Which element is treated as the god element in organic chemistry?
Carbon. It is omnipresent in all organic compounds.
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My wife told me she doesnβt want much this Valentineβs Day.
She said βjust some chocolates and a few little surprises will be fineβ.
Kinder Eggs it is then.
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Knock! Knock!
βWhoβs there?β
βThe Headless Horseman.β
βThe Headless Horseman, who?β
βThe Headless Horseman whoβs coming for your head!β
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Black Friday β the day when people spend money they donβt have on things they donβt need.
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Teacher: βIf your father has $10, and you
asked for $5, how much will your father
have?β
Akpos: β$10.β
Teacher: βYou donβt know maths.β
Akpos: βYou donβt know my father!β
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