Itβs game 7 of the NBA finals and a man makes his way to his seat at center court.
He sits down and notices that the seat next to him is empty.
He leans over and asks his neighbor if someone is sitting there.
He responds, βNo, the seatβs empty.β
The first man exclaims, βWhat?! Who in their right mind would have a seat like this for the NBA finals and not use it?β
The neighbor responds, βWell the seat is mine, but my wife passed away and this is the first NBA finals we havenβt been together.β
The first man responds,β Iβm sorry to hear that. Wasnβt there anyone else, a friend or relative, that couldβve taken that seat?β
The neighbor responds, βNo, theyβre all at the funeral.β
π π π
Which kind of donuts can fly?
The plane ones.
π π π
From the depths of your slumber, I summon thee.
π π π
Youβre so short that you had to use a toothpick to compete in the javelin.
π π π
What did the dad say to his son when he became afraid of the full moon?
βDonβt worry! Itβs just a phase itβs going through!β
π π π
When I won the lottery, I decided to share it with my ex-wife.
So I rang her and said, βGuess what, I won the jackpot.β
π π π
Itβs a good thing snakes and dogs donβt interbreed.
Nobody wants a loyal snake.
π π π
How do elephants bathe?
With their trunks on.
π π π
If life hands you lemons, break out the tequila!
π π π
When Uranus threw a party, everyone was over the moon!
π π π
What did a dam say to the river?
βWater you thinking?β
π π π
What does a bass guitar and a lawsuit have in common?
Everyone is relieved when the case is closed.
π π π
Why do football players struggle at bowling?
Because they had a hard time kicking the ball!
π π π
What would donutsβ favorite drink be?
The hole-y water.
π π π
Whatβs the most common operation in a Lego hospital?
Plastic surgery.
π π π
I have an ugly, tight pair of shorts that I only wear when every other pair is dirty.
Theyβre my last reshorts.
π π π
Stephen Hawkingβs death was purely accidental.
He clicked βshut downβ instead of βsleep.β
π π π
I love being a grandparent in retirement.
I give my grandkids a lot of sugar and then leave them with their parents to deal with them.
π π π
Iβm going to take you out for a morning walk.
Whether youβre sleeping or not!
π π π
I am sweating like a crocodile in a handbag factory.
π π π