Best Jokes (4)



I went out the other day and there was a butterfly wrapped up in a web.

A few days later it had turned into a spider.

Natures amazing.

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What’s a Christian’s favorite flower?

Jesus Rose.

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What do you call a Polish ape?

Chimpanski.

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Two men were walking home after a Halloween party and decided to take a shortcut through the cemetery just for laughs.

Right in the middle of the cemetery, they were startled by a tap-tap-tapping noise coming from the misty shadows.

Trembling with fear, they found an old man with a hammer and chisel, chipping away at one of the headstones.

β€œHoly cow, Mister,” one of them said after catching his breath, β€œYou scared us half to deathβ€”we thought you were a ghost! What are you doing working here so late at night?”

β€œThose fools!” the old man grumbled. β€œThey misspelled my name!”

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Johnny was a preschool student who did not know grammar or math very well.

While in class, his teacher asked, β€œWhat’s 2+2?”

Johnny answered, β€œI four-get.”

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Knock! Knock!

β€œWho’s there?”

β€œYah.”

β€œYah, who?”

β€œWow, you’re really excited about Christmas!”

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Where do fruits like to go on vacations?

To the peach.

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How do robots exercise?

They do circuit training.

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You know, you’re being a little moon-dy, I hope it’s just a phase!

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Knock! Knock!

β€œWho’s there?”

β€œJuly.”

β€œJuly, who?”

β€œJuly’d to me when you said you didn’t eat my ice cream!”

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Why did the fruit bat eat the orange?

Because it had appeal.

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Did you know that according to 911 choking on a handful of gummies does not constitute a β€œbear attack”.

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Yo mama so fat and ugly she didn’t need a suit to play Jamba the Hutt.

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Yo mama’s so stupid Kylo Ren couldn’t force read her mind!

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Ancient Egyptian architect: β€œDo you know how to build a pyramid?”

Ancient Egyptian builder: β€œWell, err yeah, up to a point.”

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What do aliens like to read?

Comet books!

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Broccoli: β€œHey, I look like a tree.”

Mushroom: β€œWow, I look just like an umbrella.”

Walnut: β€œI look exactly like a brain.”

Banana: β€œMan, can we change the topic please?”

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If a Bengal tiger is attacking your mother-in-law and spouse, who will you save?

The Bengal tiger of course! They’re getting extinct in the world.

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What is a bear’s favorite drink?

Koka-Koala.

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What do you call the child of a civil engineer?

A truss fund baby.

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