There’s a lot of crossover between the Bible and SpongeBob.
Both are quite holey.
😄 😄 😄
A blonde and a brunette are in a car. Brunette: “Christmas is on a Friday this year.”
Blonde: “I hope it’s not the 13th.”
😄 😄 😄
Why is it not good to play volleyball in a court?
Because you might get arrested.
😄 😄 😄
What is Bob Marley called on a motorbike?
Bob Harley.
😄 😄 😄
Why did the cow jump over the Harvest Moon?
Because the farmer had cold hands!
😄 😄 😄
My doctor warned me that constantly singing Frank Sinatra songs was bad for my health, but I just wouldn’t listen.
And now, the end is near.
😄 😄 😄
What is the best way to have a well-rounded diet?
Eat donuts.
😄 😄 😄
I told my wife I’d never leave her unless aliens came to take me.
It has taken 30 years but I finally have enough for Industrial Light and Magic to do an alien abduction scene.
😄 😄 😄
Why did the hip bone go to the coffee shop?
Because it needed a little perk-me-up after surgery.
😄 😄 😄
What do you call a boat in training?
An apprenticeship.
😄 😄 😄
I know everything there is to know about sushi.
You could say I’m an a-fish-onado.
😄 😄 😄
Our bands bassist was always coming in late. He just couldn’t get the timing right, so we kicked him out of the band.
He got so depressed, he threw himself behind a bus.
😄 😄 😄
I went on a blind date where her online profile said she had an infectious smile.
Turns out they were cold sores.
😄 😄 😄
Yo mama so fat when she sat on a dollar bill she squeezed a booger out of George Washington’s nose.
😄 😄 😄
Roses are red, violets are blue.
Every time I flush the toilet, I think of you.
😄 😄 😄
Why are mushroom children so good?
They don’t want to get in truffle.
😄 😄 😄
Why did the gum cross the road?
It was stuck to the chicken’s foot.
😄 😄 😄
What do you call a bacon with a Scottish accent?
Ham-ish.
😄 😄 😄
When you have a question, you check with Google.
When Google has a question, they check with Chuck Norris.
When Chuck Norris has a question, everybody better run!
😄 😄 😄
Did you know the first Mormon was actually Jamaican?
He had one wife but he wanted more, mon.
😄 😄 😄
