I randomly encountered a video on YouTube that’s says “How to stop procrasinating”.
I thought it was beneficial to me since I am constantly procrastinating, so I saved it to watch later.
😄 😄 😄
Knock! Knock!
“Who’s there?”
“Ginger.”
“Ginger, who?”
“The Ginger Bread Man!”
😄 😄 😄
Why couldn’t the astronaut book a room on the moon?
Because it was full!
😄 😄 😄
40 is when you finally get your head together...
And your body has other ideas.
😄 😄 😄
I tried to post my opinion on mushrooms.
But it was a shii-take!
😄 😄 😄
What did the o say to the other o?
Ohio.
😄 😄 😄
A priest had 3 people at confession.
He went to Guy 1 and asked, “What sin did you commit?”
Guy 1 responded, “I murdered someone.”
The priest responded, “Drink this holy water and your sin is forgiven.”
He did so and stood back.
The priest asked Guy 2 and asked, “What sin did you commit?”
Guy 2 responded, “I cheated on my wife.”
The priest responded, “Drink this holy water and your sin is forgiven.”
He did so and stood back as well.
Then it was the 3rd person’s turn.
The priest asked him, “So, what sin did you commit?”
Nervously, Guy 3 responded, “Um…well, you see, Father…I peed in the holy water.”
😄 😄 😄
They said when pigs fly...
But the swine already flu.
😄 😄 😄
Good moms let you lick the beaters.
Great moms turn them off first.
😄 😄 😄
I got caught cheating on my physics exam.
Furious, my professor said to me, “I hope you understand the gravity of the situation!”
But if I had known that, I wouldn’t be in this situation in the first place.
😄 😄 😄
My libertarian neighbor posted a newspaper ad selling his collection of Star Trek ships.
And here I thought he believed in free Enterprise.
😄 😄 😄
Yo mama’s so weak-minded that I got her to lead me to Jabba without using a Jedi mind trick!
😄 😄 😄
With a forehead like yours, Dora would get lost exploring it.
😄 😄 😄
My wife is a light eater.
As soon as it’s light she starts to eat.
😄 😄 😄
Yo mama so fat I took a picture of her last Christmas and it’s still printing.
😄 😄 😄
Your forehead is so big it could carry all the passengers of the Titanic.
😄 😄 😄
Why did the boy stop eating donuts?
Because he got bored with the hole thing.
😄 😄 😄
What do you call racist jokes that are made about black people?
Dark humor.
😄 😄 😄
Two corns in a field were telling each other corny jokes.
They were the laughing stalk of the field.
😄 😄 😄
What do nuclear plants serve their workers for the Labor Day party?
Fission Chips.
😄 😄 😄
