Best Jokes (4)



Patient: β€œDoctor, doctor! I see double!”

Doctor: β€œSit on the chair please.”

Patient: β€œWhich one?”

πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„


What do you call an amazing day up a mountain?

A peak experience.

πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„


Why is the moon so grumpy?

It’s just going through one of its phases.

πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„


What happens if a tree falls into mud?

It leafs an impression.

πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„


Chuck Norris doesn’t wear a watch.

He decides what time it is.

πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„


What’s a toilet on a Portuguese jetty called?

A porto potty.

πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„


It’s always good to find out you’re going to be working from home.

Unless you’re a firefighter.

πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„


What do youΒ callΒ a hip bone that’s late for surgery?

Hip-late.

πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„


I got really hungry when we visited the Alpaca Farm, next time Alpaca lunch.

πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„


I smiled right after getting up.

I think I dislocated my face.

Good morning!

πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„


What made the pig go to the kitchen?

Because he felt like bacon.

πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„


A businessman was confused about a bill he had received, so he asked his secretary for some mathematical help.

β€œIf I were to give you $20,000, minus 14%, how much would you take off?”, he asked her.

The secretary replied, β€œEverything but my earrings.”

πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„


You’re so observant, would you like me to pat you on your back?

πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„


Why aren’t people inΒ recoveryΒ good dancers?

They lose interest afterΒ twelve steps.

πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„


My girlfriend usually has peanut butter toast for breakfast, but this morning we were out of bread, and she’s been grouchy all day.

I never knew she was lack-toast intolerant.

πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„


It’s hotter than a redhead’s getting a parking ticket.

πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„


Yo sister so fat the only way she burns calories is when her food catches on fire.

πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„


Away from their official duties, soccer players love dancing at a soccer ball.

πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„


Is your dad an alien because you’re out of this world?

πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„


I’m a clown... and everyone nose.

πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„


















© 2022-2024 jokes.best