Best Jokes (4)



What would you call a small scoop of ice cream?

A uni-cone.

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Knock! Knock!

β€œWho’s there?”

β€œBoo.”

β€œBoo, who?”

β€œDon’t cry, it’s only Tuesday!”

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I’m still taller than your IQ.

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Your mama so old she farts dust!

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A woman was in bed with her lover when she heard her husband opening the front door.

β€œQuick, jump out the window,” she says to him.

β€œWhat???” the guy says. β€œWe’re on the 13th floor!”

She says, β€œJust jump, this is no time to be superstitious!”

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What do you call tea made with weed and koala bears?

A High Koala Tea Beverage.

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Chuck Norris speaks English, French, Spanish, Italian, and Portuguese.

At the same time in every sentence.

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Why do crypto fans love donuts?

Because they’re decentralized.

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My doctor warned me that constantly singing Frank Sinatra songs was bad for my health, but I just wouldn’t listen.

And now, the end is near.

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What does Spider-Man use when he wants to be stealthy?

The Dark Web.

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What does a philosophy student feel when they fail a module on empiricism?

Hume-iliation.

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What do the US military and a fart have in common?

Air Force.

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Marvel Studios is now against hair coloring.

In fact, their next film is about a group of people that never dye.

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An onion just told me a joke.

I don’t know whether to laugh or cry.

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The universe expands because everything is trying to get as far away from Chuck Norris as possible.

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A clean desk is a sign of a cluttered desk drawer.

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Where do you park a camel?

At the Camelot.

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Nobody wants to be alone.

A recently divorced friend of mine is hopeful of once again finding romance. Beer belly, completely bald...

I don’t like her chances.

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Why didn’t SpongeBob hear the doorbell when he was reading his magazine?

Because he was too absorbed in his reading.

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Once, there was a man who came from Spain to America.

He couldn’t speak English, so he went to a choir and learned how to say, β€œMe me me me me me.”

Then he went to the store and saw a little girl say, β€œHe stole my dolly.”

On his way home, he went to get meat from the butcher and learned how to say, β€œBig butcher knife, big butcher knife.”

Then he went home and watched an air freshener commercial and learned how to say, β€œPlug it in, plug it in.”

Later, he went to the store, and there was a murder.

The police said, β€œWho killed this man?”

The foreigner said, β€œMe me me me me me.”

The police said, β€œWhy did you kill him?”

The man said, β€œHe stole my dolly.”

The policeman said, β€œWhat did you kill him with?”

The man said, β€œBig butcher knife, big butcher knife.”

Then they took him to jail and sentenced him to death.

The policeman said, β€œAny last words?”

The foreigner said, β€œPlug it in, plug it in.”

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