I missed a question on my biology exam today.
The question was: What are commonly found in cells?
I guess “prisoners” wasn’t the right answer.
😄 😄 😄
My boyfriend and I broke up.
He wanted to get married... I didn’t want him to.
😄 😄 😄
Why did the Spanish Inquisition yank out people’s molars?
Because they wanted the tooth, the whole truth, so help them God.
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Chuck Norris made the llama extinct.
Never spit in his face.
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My Mom said she’d been looking forward to Mother’s Day for ages.
I said, “Why? Your Mum’s dead.”
😄 😄 😄
How do you make a Pinterest user laugh?
Show them a pin-teresting joke.
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What do you say to an angry baked sweet potato?
Anything, just butter him up.
😄 😄 😄
What’s an alien’s favorite chocolate bar?
A mars bar!
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What do you call a man with a shovel on his head?
An ambulance, he’s clearly injured.
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A guy was walking along the street when he saw a crowd of people running towards him.
He stopped one of the runners and asked, “What’s happening?”
The runner replied breathlessly, “A lion has escaped from the zoo.”
“Oh my, which way is it heading?”
“Well, you don’t think we are chasing it, do you?”
😄 😄 😄
Why did the ant hidebehind the tree?
To trip the elephant.
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What do you call a fish who raps?
Swim Shady.
😄 😄 😄
I saw a ghost at the hair salon. Can you guess what she was doing?
Getting a scare-cut!
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What was the full name of Eddie Murphy’s character in Shrek?
Donkey Ho-tay!
😄 😄 😄
Why did the Pilgrims eat turkey on Thanksgiving?
They couldn’t get the moose in the oven!
😄 😄 😄
Taylor Swift’s latest song sounds almost exactly like one of Madonna’s hits from the 80s.
It’s Borderline plagiarism.
😄 😄 😄
Why did the bearded man decline the invitation to a charity event?
It was a fund razor.
😄 😄 😄
Why does the Easter Bunny drink beer?
He loves the hops.
😄 😄 😄
It’s your birthday; let’s donuts!
😄 😄 😄
There was a mushroom on the first floor of my house.
Morel of the storey.
😄 😄 😄
