Knock! Knock!
“Who’s there?”
“Uranus.”
“Uranus, who?”
“My anus doesn’t have a last name, does yours?”
😄 😄 😄
Chuck Norris killed 2 stones with 1 bird.
😄 😄 😄
When you find a blue strawberry, try to cheer it up.
😄 😄 😄
An F-15 pilot was assigned to escort an aged B-52 Bomber
Being a bit bored he started executing loops and rolls, never worried about being able to catch up to his lumbering charge.
He got on the radio to boast to the BUFF pilot, “Ha! Anything you can do, I can do better!”
The bomber pilot replies, “Oh, yeah? Let’s see you do this!” and keeps flying straight and level.
The fighter jock asks, “Um... What did you do?”
The B-52 pilot says, “I just shut down two engines.”
😄 😄 😄
Why is it impossible for students to sleep 8 hours every day?
Because school is only 6 hours a day!
😄 😄 😄
What do you call a guy in a plaid suit?
Check mate.
😄 😄 😄
Some people say rolling dice for stats in D&D is old-fashioned and outdated.
But I think it builds character.
😄 😄 😄
Two friends talking:
“Hey, can I borrow some money? I’m broke.”
“Get money from your job.”
“I got fired.”
“Why?”
“My boss told me to leave all my problems behind the door, so I told him to stand outside.”
😄 😄 😄
My kids are the sunshine of my life.
Over-exposition invariably leads to burnout.
😄 😄 😄
What did Obi-Wan tell Luke when his young apprentice was having a difficult time using chopsticks at the Chinese restaurant?
“Use the forks, Luke.”
😄 😄 😄
Father’s Day was near when I brought my son to the card store. Inside, I showed him the cards for dads and told him to pick one.
When I looked back, my son was picking up one card after another, opening them up, and quickly shoving them back into slots, every which way.
“Son, what are you doing?” I asked. “Haven’t you found a nice card for daddy yet?”
“No,” he replied. “I’m looking for one with money in it.”
😄 😄 😄
Looking for a boyfriend in engineering.
The odds are good, but the goods are odd.
😄 😄 😄
Programming in C can be difficult at times.
But you have to admit it builds tcharacter.
😄 😄 😄
To her credit, the registered nurse that prepped my father for his vasectomy was very gentle and pretty sure she didn’t mean to be unkind.
But he didn’t think it was very nice of her to say, “Just a little prick, sir.”
😄 😄 😄
Why did the registered nurse bring a ladder to work?
To take care of high blood pressure.
😄 😄 😄
What do you call a Polish fisherman?
A fishing pole.
😄 😄 😄
I was trying to solve a few equations about circles. Guess what?
It was pointless.
😄 😄 😄
I randomly encountered a video on YouTube that’s says “How to stop procrasinating”.
I thought it was beneficial to me since I am constantly procrastinating, so I saved it to watch later.
😄 😄 😄
Knock! Knock!
“Who’s there?”
“Ginger.”
“Ginger, who?”
“The Ginger Bread Man!”
😄 😄 😄
Why couldn’t the astronaut book a room on the moon?
Because it was full!
😄 😄 😄
