Why do single people look forward to Ramadan?
It’s the only month they might ever have a date.
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Yo momma’s so fat the Millenium Falcon can hide in her belly button.
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I’m a clown... and everyone nose.
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I was under the blues.
So I had to blue my nose occasionally.
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Yo mama so fat every time she turns around it’s her birthday.
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Patient: “Doctor, doctor, I keep thinking I’m a snowman!”
Doctor: “Keep cool.”
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What is a volleyball player’s favorite drink?
Sets on the Beach.
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What’s the similarity between a fresh pair of shorts and a Bugatti bought by a shady businessman?
Both were laundered.
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I have a feeling my dying words will be “Honey, I was just joking.”
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You’re so fat you wake up on both sides of the bed in the morning.
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A group of DnD players walk into a bar.
The bartender asks, “What’re you all in for?”
The group says, “We’re hunting mimics.”
The bartender laughed, the group laughed, the table laughed.
They killed the table.
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Why doesn’t an owl study for a test?
They prefer to wing it.
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As the animals left the ark, Noah told them to go forth and multiply.
After some time, Noah came upon two snakes who were just lying there sunning themselves...
So Noah asked them, “Why aren’t you multiplying?”
The snakes replied, “We can’t, we’re adders.”
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You’re so old George Washington cut down your Christmas tree.
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They’re vaccinating against bird flu again.
Call it a rooster shot.
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No one seems to want to help me look for my missing Greek lettuce.
They keep telling me it’s a lost cos.
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Yo mama so stupid the zombies walked past her because they didn’t smell any brains.
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What do you call a Shrek fan girl?
An O-girl!
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Husband to friend: “The physical therapist told my wife she should do some exercise.”
Friend: “And is she doing this?”
Husband: “Well, she is, if jumping to conclusions and running up bills can be called exercise.”
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Boy: “Hey, I like you and I was wondering if you would be my girlfriend.”
Girl: “I have a boyfriend.”
Boy: “I have a math test tomorrow.”
Girl: “What does that have to do with anything?”
Boy: “I thought we were listing things we could cheat on.”
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