The center of a donut is 100% fat-free.
😄 😄 😄
I went on a date with a dentist last night.
At the end of the date, she said she’d had a great time and she’d like to see me again in 6 month’s time.
😄 😄 😄
What kind of pets does a band have?
Trum-pets.
😄 😄 😄
Let me tell you how I became a millionaire.
First, I bought one apple for a dollar with my savings.
Then I went out on the street and sold it there for two dollars.
With the two dollars I bought two apples for 1 dollar each and again sold them for 2 dollars each.
Now I had 4 dollars and was able to buy 4 apples, which, you may have guessed, I sold for 2 dollars each.
Now I had 8 dollars and I bought 8 apples and so on and so on.
A few days later my aunt died and I inherited her assets.
😄 😄 😄
Last night in jail, they gave us mint chocolates for dessert.
I thought they’d be gross, but they were actually pretty good. Turns out...
That in-prison mint isn’t as bad as I expected!
😄 😄 😄
To whoever stole my thesaurus, you made my day bad. I hope bad things happen to you. You’re a bad person.
😄 😄 😄
What do you call a chili with a PhD?
Dr. Pepper.
😄 😄 😄
Chuck Norris can finish Mario Bros. without using the jump button.
😄 😄 😄
I had a bison steak at a restaurant recently.
When I finished, I asked the waiter for the buffalo bill.
😄 😄 😄
What do you call an alien that lives in a bog?
A marsh-in!
😄 😄 😄
Did you hear about the werewolf who majored in philosophy?
Now he’s a whywolf.
😄 😄 😄
How many boomers does it take to change a light bulb?
None. They’ll all resist change even if it means making the world a brighter place.
😄 😄 😄
Millennial superstitions:
If your phone drops in the toilet bowl, you will have seven years of frustrating eyebrows.
😄 😄 😄
Did you hear about the lazy flower who finally got his act together?
He just needed a kick in the bud.
😄 😄 😄
I had a nightmare last night that my TikTok account was deleted.
It was scary because I thought I had a TikTok account for a second.
😄 😄 😄
Where did Vecna go for 8 years?
On a diet.
😄 😄 😄
You’re so short that when you get angry at people for making fun of you, all you can do is bite their ankles.
😄 😄 😄
Roses are red, violets are blue.
A face like yours, belongs in a zoo.
😄 😄 😄
I was thinking of getting rid of the beard.
But I’ve had it for so long that at this point, it makes the decisions for me.
😄 😄 😄
What do you call cheese that’s not yours?
Nacho cheese.
😄 😄 😄
