Knock! Knock!
βWhoβs there?β
βDonut.β
βDonut, who?β
βDonut worry, be happy!β
π π π
Knock! Knock!
βWhoβs there?β
βUranus.β
βUranus, who?β
βUranus is a gas giant.β
π π π
What did the bread say before it jumped into the toaster?
βIβM BREADY TO DIE!β
π π π
Teachers deserve a lot of credit.
Of course, if we paid them more, they wouldnβt need it.
π π π
Bill and Melinda were happy for 27 years
And then Bill started working from home.
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A Vietnamese farmer was working in the rice paddy field when he sees his son running to him.
βFather, father look,β the kid points to a newspaper and says excitedly. βThe Americans have gone to the moon.β
The farmer drops his plow and asks excitedly, βAll of them?β
βNo, just 3,β replies the kid.
βDamn it!β The father shakes his head in disappointment and goes back to the field.
π π π
An English prisoner of war was held by the Germans.
The Englishman was shot all over the place, and okay until one day when the German told him, βEnglander, your arm is infected with gangrene, we must cut it off.β
The English prisoner said, βWell, okay, but could you drop it over England when you go bombing.β
The German replied, βYeah, that will not be a problem.β
A few weeks later, the German tells the Englishman that they have to cut his other arm off.
The Englishman says, βWell, could drop it over England like you did last time.β
βYeah, that will be done,β says the German.
The next day, the German tells him that they have to cut his leg off.
Once again, the Brit says, βWell, could you do the same as before?β
The German replies, βYeah.β
The next day, the German tells him they have to cut his other leg.
βWell,β begins the Brit, βcould you just...β
The German snapped, βNo! We think you are trying to escape!β
π π π
Iβm going to take you out for a morning walk.
Whether youβre sleeping or not!
π π π
Chuck Norris is so powerful that when he goes fishing, the fish are so scared they drown.
π π π
Two scientists walk into a bar.
One says, βIβll have an H2O please.β
π π π
What was the mermaid doing at the bottom of the sea?
She dropped out of school.
π π π
Why did the red panda become an actor?
It had a panda-mic personality.
π π π
βGood morningβ is a contradiction of terms.
π π π
To make mistakes is human.
To blame someone else for your problem, is strategic.
π π π
Yo daddy is so dumb he got hit by a parked car.
π π π
Geology rocks, but geography is where itβs at.
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What isΒ Harry Potterβs favorite subject in school?
Spelling.
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Why is everyone so tired on April 1st?
Because they just finished a 31-day march.
π π π
What was the name of the frogβs favorite crisp dish?
Croaky bacon.
π π π
What do you call a group of nurses who are musicians?
Band aides.
π π π