If you think that no one cares you’re alive...
Just try missing a couple of mortgage payments.
😄 😄 😄
You’re so fat the only thing to compare you to is an elephant.
😄 😄 😄
What makes a traffic jam better?
Adding peanut butter to it.
😄 😄 😄
How can you tell Minecraft characters watch too much TV?
They all have square eyes.
😄 😄 😄
Why are elephant’s noses so big?
So they can scratch their bums!
😄 😄 😄
Hickory dickory dock, three mice ran up the clock, the clock struck one.
And the other two escaped with minor injuries.
😄 😄 😄
I’ve just bought a new pair of spider silk trousers.
They look great, but the flies keep getting stuck.
😄 😄 😄
It’s so hot and humid outside, the air ironed the wrinkles out of my shirt.
😄 😄 😄
Archaeologists have uncovered a mummy in Egypt covered in nuts and chocolate.
They believe it’s Pharaoh Roche.
😄 😄 😄
What’s a blue shoe?
A shoe with the blues.
😄 😄 😄
What is the name of the dancing chocolate bar?
Nestle Crunk bar.
😄 😄 😄
Yo daddy is so dumb he sold his car for gas money.
😄 😄 😄
Why did the vegetarian hot dog cross the road?
To prove he wasn’t chicken!
😄 😄 😄
Last night in jail, they gave us mint chocolates for dessert.
I thought they’d be gross, but they were actually pretty good. Turns out...
That in-prison mint isn’t as bad as I expected!
😄 😄 😄
Sherlock Holmes got audited by the IRS.
He had too many deductions.
😄 😄 😄
Yo momma so fat she can’t reach her back pocket.
😄 😄 😄
The house is on fire!
Wake up!
😄 😄 😄
A programmer was arrested for writing unreadable code.
He refused to comment.
😄 😄 😄
She’s feeling so blue.
She might as well be called the ocean.
😄 😄 😄
Your mama so short she has to hold a sign up that says “Don’t spit, I can’t swim”.
😄 😄 😄
