Best Jokes (4)



What do you do when no one laughs at your science jokes?

Keep trying until you get a reaction.

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What do you call a computer covered in fruit chunks?

A pineApple Mac.

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Britain’s most common owl?

The teatowel.

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What do you get when you cross a watermelon with broccoli?

A melon-coli snack.

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Didn’t Snoop Dogg change his name?

Or was Snoop Lyin’?!

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A gun company has been criticised after bringing out a pistol covered in Lego.

The manufacturer says it’s perfectly safe, unless you step on it in bare feet.

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Yo mama so stupid she made an appointment with Dr Pepper.

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I just stare at my desk, but it looks like I’m working.

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A wise man once told me, if a bee is bothering you, don’t swat or run away, just stand still and look right at it.

Because seeing is believing.

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Why don’t Romans find algebra interesting?

X is always 10.

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My wife just now: β€œDo men’s ears actually work, or are they just for decoration?”

Me: β€œWhat?”

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Why did the chicken stop crossing the road?

It got tired of all the jokes.

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Where do birds meet for coffee?

In a Nest-cafe.

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She: β€œI cheated on you.”

He: β€œMe too.”

She: β€œApril, 1.”

He: β€œMarch, 20.”

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Knock! Knock!

β€œWho’s there?”

β€œGoat.”

β€œGoat, who?”

β€œGoat on a limb and open the door.”

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What did Shrek use to propose to Fiona?

An onion ring.

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What do the San Francisco 49ers playoff run and the Civil War have in common?

Both of them were ended by a man named Sherman.

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Why did the policeman stop you on your way home last Thanksgiving?

Because you far exceeded your feed limit.

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What does an English turkey say to another English turkey on Thanksgiving morning?

β€œTo be roasted or not to be roasted, that is the question.”

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Your eyes are as blue as toilet water.

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