Best Jokes (4)



What’s the easiest way to stop a dog from digging in the garden?

Take away his shovel!

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So the T-Rex cashier says, β€œSorry for the wait. We’re a little short-handed.”

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Why is Neptune made up of gas?

Because it is next to Uranus.

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How is a dyslexic cow like a Buddhist monk?

Both say β€œommmmmmmmm.”

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An English teacher was getting late for school on Teachers’ Day.

Suddenly, a cop pulled him over and asked for papers.

He gladly gave him all of his students’ essays to grade and drove off.

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Sunday school teacher: β€œTell me, Johnny. Do you say prayers before eating?”

Johnny: β€œNo, ma’am, I don’t have to. My mom’s a good cook.”

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What can you find in both medieval English castles and American art museums?

Norman Rock Wells.

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Why couldn’t the color blind man sell ice cream?

His cones don’t work.

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What’s the difference between a marine biologist and a dog?

One tags a whale, the other wags a tail.

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When Chuck Norris enters a room, he doesn’t turn on the light.

He turns off the dark.

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Knock! Knock!

β€œWho’s there?”

β€œOwl.”

β€œOwl, who?”

β€œOwl I can say is β€œKnock, knock”!”

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Why didn't the lifeguard save the hippie from drowning in the ocean?

He was just too far out, man.

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What is the definition ofΒ laziness?

The art of taking rest before getting tired. Because prevention is better than cure.

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How do gingers support each other?

By rooting for them.

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What do you call a Chevrolet parked at the top of a hill?

A miracle.

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WFH day 3:

Was in a 15-person online meeting, thought I was muted, farted really loudly... Shit!

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No one seems to want to help me look for my missing Greek lettuce

They keep telling me it’s a lost cos.

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What do you call a chili with a PhD?

Dr. Pepper.

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Two corns in a field were telling each other corny jokes.

They were the laughing stalk of the field.

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What type of elf has lots of books?

A bookshelf.

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