What’s the difference between North Korea and the USA?
In North Korea, power passes from grandfather to grandson.
In the USA, power passes from grandfather to grandfather.
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I asked Uranus about its love life.
And it replied, “It’s complicated, I’m in a gas-tly relationship.”
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What do you call a bee that was born in the States?
A USB.
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My doctor must be a very visual person.
Whenever I have a cold he holds out my medication and says “vitamins, see”.
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There’s a hair in my wine.
The grapes must have been fur-mented.
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When Superman gets ready for bed, he puts on his Chuck Norris pajamas.
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So a mushroom walks into a bar.
The bartender says, “We don’t serve mushrooms here. You’re always ruining jokes.”
The mushroom says, “Come on. I’m a fun-gi.”
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What’s the difference between a cow and a moose?
One moos, the other moose.
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Let’s go to Dunkin!
We need more hole foods!
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Why do moths like the light?
Because if they liked the dark they’d be goths.
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A small meteorite is reportedly headed for Legoland.
The damage is expected to be about 50 square blocks.
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Yo mama so stupid she made an appointment with Dr Pepper.
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Some aliens in a flying saucer offered to fly me to the moon.
But they wouldn’t let us land because the moon was full.
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How did the teacher find out that Shohag copied Danika’s exam paper?
Because when Danika said “I don’t know”, Shohag said “Me neither”.
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Got my friend an unnecessarily large rocket for bonfire night.
He’s over the moon!
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What do you call a dinosaur who sat on a cactus?
A megalo-sore-a.
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Why did the blueberry muffin get a ticket?
It was berry speeding!
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I’m bald and I’m going to get a head tattoo of multiple rabbits.
So from a distance it looks like hares.
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How do you describe Neapolitan ice cream to someone?
Your two favorite flavors plus strawberry.
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They said pooping is a call of nature.
So is farting a missed call?
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