Best Jokes (4)



I randomly encountered a video on YouTube that’s says β€œHow to stop procrasinating”.

I thought it was beneficial to me since I am constantly procrastinating, so I saved it to watch later.

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Knock! Knock!

β€œWho’s there?”

β€œGinger.”

β€œGinger, who?”

β€œThe Ginger Bread Man!”

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Why couldn’t the astronaut book a room on the moon?

Because it was full!

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40 is when you finally get your head together...

And your body has other ideas.

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I tried to post my opinion on mushrooms.

But it was a shii-take!

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What did the o say to the other o?

Ohio.

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A priest had 3 people at confession.

He went to Guy 1 and asked, β€œWhat sin did you commit?”

Guy 1 responded, β€œI murdered someone.”

The priest responded, β€œDrink this holy water and your sin is forgiven.”

He did so and stood back.

The priest asked Guy 2 and asked, β€œWhat sin did you commit?”

Guy 2 responded, β€œI cheated on my wife.”

The priest responded, β€œDrink this holy water and your sin is forgiven.”

He did so and stood back as well.

Then it was the 3rd person’s turn.

The priest asked him, β€œSo, what sin did you commit?”

Nervously, Guy 3 responded, β€œUm…well, you see, Father…I peed in the holy water.”

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They said when pigs fly...

But the swine already flu.

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Good moms let you lick the beaters.

Great moms turn them off first.

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I got caught cheating on my physics exam.

Furious, my professor said to me, β€œI hope you understand the gravity of the situation!”

But if I had known that, I wouldn’t be in this situation in the first place.

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My libertarian neighbor posted a newspaper ad selling his collection of Star Trek ships.

And here I thought he believed in free Enterprise.

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Yo mama’s so weak-minded that I got her to lead me to Jabba without using a Jedi mind trick!

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With a forehead like yours, Dora would get lost exploring it.

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My wife is a light eater.

As soon as it’s light she starts to eat.

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Yo mama so fat I took a picture of her last Christmas and it’s still printing.

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Your forehead is so big it could carry all the passengers of the Titanic.

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Why did the boy stop eating donuts?

Because he got bored with the hole thing.

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What do you call racist jokes that are made about black people?

Dark humor.

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Two corns in a field were telling each other corny jokes.

They were the laughing stalk of the field.

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What do nuclear plants serve their workers for the Labor Day party?

Fission Chips.

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