Best Jokes (4)



What’s the only type of melon that changes colors at will?

A chamelon.

πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„


What happened to the bearded clown after he was kicked out of the circus?

He lost his stubble mode of income.

πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„


What do you call a Titan who can’t swim?

Titanic.

πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„


Yo mama so fat when she ate an Avocado it was Nickado.

πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„


Santa was drawing money from an ATM.

A person, who was just behind him in the line, said, β€œHa, ha, haaa! I’ve seen your password. It’s 4 asterisks.”

Santa replies, β€œHa, ha, ha! You are wrong. It’s 1258.”

πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„


I threw away my can opener.

It was more of a can’t opener.

πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„


When I was born I was so surprised I didn’t talk for a year and a half.

πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„


Why are German hot dogs the most controversial?

It’s because they make the best and the wurst ones.

πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„


Did you hear about that dyslexic Japanese samurai?

He was so dishonored, that he committed Sudoku.

πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„


Once a programmer drowned in the sea.

Many Marines where at that time on the beach, but the programmer was shouting β€œF1 F1” and nobody understood it.

πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„


Stephen Sondheim, John Madden, and Betty White walk up to the Pearly Gates and St. Peter says, β€œWe’re pretty full, so we’re making people pass additional tests.

I know this is going to sound weird, but God has been hanging out with Chuck Yeager this week, and he’s only letting in people who have a connection to Jets.”

All three sets of eyes light up.

Sondheim steps up and says, β€œI wrote the definitive American musical, and it was all about a gang called the Jets.”

St. Peter waves him through.

John Madden says, β€œI coached in a classic NFL game, where my Raiders beat the Jets on a last-second touchdown.”

Also gets waived through.

St. Peter says, β€œOK, Betty, what about you?”

She smiles and says, β€œIf he’s really omniscient, he knows what I do in hot tubs...”

πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„


Two blokes were walking through a cemetery when they happened upon a tombstone that read:

β€œHere lies John Sweeney, a good man and a Chelsea fan.”

So, one of them asked the other: β€œWhen the hell did they start putting two people in one grave?”

πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„


What do you call a half-baked joke?

A pun in the oven.

πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„


What do you call an electrocuted Dark Lord?

A Volt-demort.

πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„


How do bad guys in Marios Bros. surf the internet?

With web Bowsers.

πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„


The reason that no one has returned to the moon for so long is that every time someone tries to book a hotel there, it’s full...

πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„


Some wise guys show a civil engineer an 8 ounce glass with 4 ounces of water in it.

They ask him the age old question, β€œIs the glass half empty or half full?”

The civil engineer responds, β€œThe glass is twice as big as it needs to be.”

πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„


If Shrek had been an average movie, it would’ve been...

Mediogre.

πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„


A guy walks into a pharmacy: β€œI have extreme headaches, my belly cramps, I feel like I’m about to vomit and my back hurts like something tears the muscles apart. Do you have something?”

Pharmacists: Nope, I feel fine!

πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„


I get so nervous during earthquakes.

That I start shaking uncontrollably.

πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„


















© 2022-2024 jokes.best