Best Jokes (4)



Thanksgiving is the day men start getting in shape... to play Santa Claus.

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Why doΒ registered nurses bring a red crayon to work?

In case, they have to draw blood.

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I’ll just say β€œmorning” because a good morning would be much later on a Saturday.

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How did the data scientist get his girlfriend to become an attractive model?

By training her.

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I wanted to ask Spider-Man to connect my TV, but I couldn’t find Maguire.

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Did you hear about the dyslexic devil worshiper?

Dude sold his soul to Santa.

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How do you repair a broken jack o’ lantern?

Use a pumpkin patch.

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Knock! Knock!

β€œWho’s there?”

β€œIce cream.”

β€œIce cream, who?”

β€œIce cream if you throw me in the cold, cold water!”

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I’m going to start a YouTube channel where I critique bottled water.

It’s an untapped market.

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What do you say when someone dies between February 19th and March 20th?

Rest in Pisces.

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Last year on Mother’s Day we had a big family get-together.

Afterwards my Mom starting getting ready to do the dishes.

Of course I couldn’t let her do that on her special day.

I said, β€œLeave the dishes, Mom. You can always do them tomorrow.”

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What does a bass guitar and a baseball have in common?

People cheer when you hit them with a bat.

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β€œDad, did you ever fall in love?”

β€œYes, son. I did once.”

β€œAnd, what happened?”

β€œIn the beginning it was fantastic, but then your mother found out.”

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If you ate both pasta and antipasto, would you still be hungry?

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Why did the astronaut bring a ladder to Uranus?

To reach for the stars.

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Why did Chuck Norris destroy the periodic table?

Because Chuck Norris only recognizes the element of surprise.

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What did Bruno Mars bring to the Thanksgiving Potluck?

24 Karat cakes.

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Knock! Knock!

β€œWho’s there?”

β€œWho who.”

β€œWho who, who?”

β€œSanta is that you?”

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Why did the llama win the rap battle?

Because he was good at spitting.

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What are bombing instructors in Jihad camps getting tired of hearing?

β€œOK Boomer!”

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