Best Jokes (4)



What kind of food says mean things about you behind your back?

Shiitake mushrooms.

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Why did Minnie hang up the phone on Mickey?

She was feeling Goofy at the time.

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The hardest part about working from home is the distractions, my girlfriend never stops talking to me while I’m on my PlayStation.

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Mrs. Lewis, a Sunday school teacher, asked her little children one Easter Sunday, as they were on the way to the church service, β€œAnd why is it necessary to be quiet in church?”

Rebecca, a bright little girl piped up, β€œBecause people are sleeping!”

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Yo head is so big if it were a bowling ball, score a strike every time.

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My friend told me that onions were the only things that could make him cry.

So I threw a bowling ball at him to prove him wrong.

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How does a robot eat its guacamole?

With micro-chips.

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What is more exciting than baseball?

Acidball.

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Minnie came out of her room after changing for a dinner party. Goofy was there.

Minnie asked, β€œGoofy, how do I look?”

Goofy replied, β€œLike everyone else, with your eyes!”

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What’s the square root of Minecraft?

There are three, actually: the potatoes, the carrots, and the beetroots.

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Wife: β€œI dreamed you gave me $500 for summer clothes last night. You would not spoil that dream, would you, Dear?”

Husband: β€œOf course not, Darling. You may keep the $500.”

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Guess what? I told my girlfriend she drew her eyebrows too high.

She seemed surprised.

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How do you make a small fortune out of horses?

Start with a large fortune.

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My husband is as handsome as Frank Sinatra and as intelligent as Albert Einstein.

His name is Frankenstein.

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Why was ChatGPT bad at chess?

Because every time it said β€œcheck”, the system thought it was an error.

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Did you hear about the guy that washed his shorts with change in it?

He was arrested for money laundrying.

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Why are there only 239 beans in Irish stew?

Because one more, and it’d be too farty.

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Today I started an argument with my wife while riding in an elevator.

I was wrong on so many levels.

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Why was Jupiter disqualified from the race between the planets?

He was caught taking asteroids.

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When does a hot dog have a close shave?

At the barber-cue!

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