How many social media marketers does it take to change a light bulb?
It’s not about the change, it’s about engaging people in conversations about the light bulb change.
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Knock! Knock!
“Who’s there?”
“July.”
“July, who?”
“July’d to me when you said you didn’t eat my ice cream!”
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A skunk fell into the river and stank to the bottom.
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Why is Apple offering a free case for all iPhone 6 buyers?
It doesn’t help with reception, but protects the iPhone when you throw it against the wall after dropping another call.
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Why are haircuts so cheap in Morocco?
Because they’ve got so many Berbers!
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Why doesn’t the word “mushroom” make a good computer password?
It’s not stroganoff.
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I recently heard about a study that said that all the so-called “brain foods” don’t actually help your brain at all. It’s all just pseudoscience.
Food for thought.
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Why doesn’t Superman need a boss?
He already has supervision.
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Why did the unlucky bearded man shave?
Because fortune favors the shave!
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A blond goes up to the librarian.
Blond: “Can I have a hot dog?”
Librarian: “Sorry, Madam, but this is a library.”
Blond: “Oh, sorry!” says quietly. “Can I have a hot dog?”
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I ordered a book called “How to scam people online” two months ago.
It still hasn’t arrived yet.
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What do you say when it’s raining chickens and ducks on April Fools’ Day?
It’s fowl spring weather.
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Knock! Knock!
“Who’s there?”
“Ice cream.”
“Ice cream, who?”
“Ice cream if you don’t throw a great birthday party!”
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You’re so fat the only thing to compare you to is an elephant.
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What’s the favorite genre of music on Uranus?
Space Opera.
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To make mistakes is human.
To blame someone else for your problem, is strategic.
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What do you call a Viking who can’t catch fish?
A cod-less heathen.
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A French couple, an Italian couple and a Polish couple go out to dinner.
The French husband says to his wife, “Pass the honey, honey.”
The Italian man says to his wife, “Pass the sugar, sweety.”
The polish guy, not quite understanding the situation, says to his wife, “Pass the bacon, you fat pig.”
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What do you call an Arab who has been injured in a bombing?
An ambulance!
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What do a man who’s had a vasectomy and a Christmas tree have in common?
Decorative balls.
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