Did you hear about the lazy flower who finally got his act together?
He just needed a kick in the bud.
😄 😄 😄
I had a nightmare last night that my TikTok account was deleted.
It was scary because I thought I had a TikTok account for a second.
😄 😄 😄
Where did Vecna go for 8 years?
On a diet.
😄 😄 😄
You’re so short that when you get angry at people for making fun of you, all you can do is bite their ankles.
😄 😄 😄
Roses are red, violets are blue.
A face like yours, belongs in a zoo.
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I was thinking of getting rid of the beard.
But I’ve had it for so long that at this point, it makes the decisions for me.
😄 😄 😄
What do you call cheese that’s not yours?
Nacho cheese.
😄 😄 😄
Who wants a day just for fools?
When you’re surrounded by them all year.
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What is the result of an art competition?
A draw.
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I’m not afraid to crack a joke about Uranus.
It’s a gas!
😄 😄 😄
Why did the husband refuse to watch Dr. Strange for a movie night with his wife?
He had Stranger Things to watch.
😄 😄 😄
I sued the airport the other day because they didn’t want to give me my luggage.
Guess what, I lost the case.
😄 😄 😄
I promised my new girlfriend the sun, the moon and the stars...
So, I took her to the planetarium.
😄 😄 😄
What dessert do they serve in Super Mario?
Princess Peach Pie.
😄 😄 😄
Why do blueberries get along with everyone?
They’re naturally blue-tiful.
😄 😄 😄
The baby tomato was running late for school. Guess what his mommy said?
“Come on, ketch-up!”
😄 😄 😄
Where can you get 100% off on everything on Black Friday?
At home by not going out.
😄 😄 😄
A telephone rang.
“Hello! Is your phone number 444-4444?”
“Yes, it is,” came the reply.
“Thank Goodness! Could you call 911 for me? I super-glued my finger to the phone.”
😄 😄 😄
Yo mama so ugly she threw a boomerang and it refused to come back.
😄 😄 😄
On my tombstone, please write “Not appreciating my puns was a grave mistake.”
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