Why did the truck driver finally stop farting?
He ran out of gas.
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Knock! Knock!
βWhoβs there?β
βJuliet.β
βJuliet, who?β
βJuliet pancakes for breakfast.β
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When my ex-wife and I divorced, I handed her a letter saying, βGood job. Well done.β
I wanted things to end on a positive note.
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The most loyal, kind and noble of all dog breeds is the hot dog.
Heβs the only one who feeds the hand that bites him.
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Can anyone recommend a good bank account?
Mineβs run out of money...
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Yo Mama so stupid she returned a donut because it had a hole in it.
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Why did Puerto Rico become a state?
Because they couldnβt find enough parking.
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The planet Uranus is really good at keeping secrets.
After all, it has all those gas-tly atmospheres to hide things.
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Why did the blue marker shy away from the red marker?
It was a little shy-nero.
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What is a teddy bearβs favorite Thanksgiving food?
Stuffing.
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Yo mamma so hairy that Han Solo mistaken her for Chewbackaο»Ώ.
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How many HR people does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
Two. One to screw it in, the other to investigate the lightbulbβs complaint it was touched inappropriately.
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What did Mars say to Earth?
Get out of my space!
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Is it just me or do we all play Solitaire when that very important meeting is going on?
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Did you know the seagull was gods third attempt at creating the bird.
The A-gull and B-gull werenβt quite right.
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What do you call an otter who has yams in both of his ears?
It doesnβt matter, he canβt hear you.
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βLOL stands for laugh out loud and BRB stands for be right back, but what does IDK stand for?β
βI donβt know.β
βAlright, fine Iβll ask somebody else.β
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Why donβt squirrels have any friends?
Because they drive everyone nuts.
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Good friends are like toasters.
If you throw them down the stairs, they probably wonβt make toast for you anymore.
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Guess what happened to the man who played board games all his life?
He got bored with playing games!
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