The rose had to inform his mom about a mishap.
He said, “I hate to be the bearer of bud news.”
😄 😄 😄
Rise and conquer, adventurer!
Today’s mission: navigate through the day without putting your shirt on inside-out.
😄 😄 😄
How many Puerto Ricans does it take to change a lightbulb.
Just Juan.
😄 😄 😄
I started a dating site for older people.
OK Boomer.
😄 😄 😄
What’s a blue shoe?
A shoe with the blues.
😄 😄 😄
Did you hear about the Jewish Santa Claus?
He comes down the chimney, wakes up the children and says, “Hey kids, do you want to buy some toys?”
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My poor dog doesn’t have a big nose.
That makes him smell terrible.
😄 😄 😄
I can wrap you up in my web anytime you want.
😄 😄 😄
Why doesn’t Superman need a boss?
He already has supervision.
😄 😄 😄
Why doesn’t the moon shave?
Because it waxes.
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Yo mamma’s so fat I thought she’d have Princess Leia on a leash beside her.
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Always remember you’re unique, just like everyone else.
😄 😄 😄
2 hockey players were fighting on the rink.
Both were swinging at each other full strength. Until one lands a nice right-handed to the jaw and the hockey player lands face first onto the ice.
A player on the bench says, “At least he got ice on it right away.”
😄 😄 😄
Babies born March 31st are the easiest to prank on April Fools.
They were literally born yesterday.
😄 😄 😄
Knock! Knock!
“Who’s there?”
“Owl.”
“Owl, who?”
“Owl this must be driving others crazy!”
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It turns out my high school chemistry teacher was right.
Alcohol is a solution.
😄 😄 😄
A ginger man finds a magic lamp and when he rubs it the genie pops out.
The genie says, “What do you want?”
The ginger says, “I want a huge mansion with a hundred rooms and 20 floors all made of pure gold.”
The genie looks and says,” Don’t be an idiot! Do you have any idea how much gold that would take? That’s impossible, pick something else.”
So the ginger finally decides and says, “I want everyone to stop making fun of my hair color.”
The genie says, “So, this mansion, you want suite bathrooms?”
😄 😄 😄
Knock! Knock!
“Who’s there?”
“Orange.”
“Orange, who?”
“Orange you going to open your birthday presents?”
😄 😄 😄
Why did the jelly break up with the peanut butter?
Because it was too clingy.
😄 😄 😄
Teacher: “Why didn’t you come to school on the first day?”
Dave: “My father is still in the hospital.”
One week later.
Teacher: “Is your father still in the hospital, Dave?”
Dave: “He is, indeed, a doctor.”
😄 😄 😄
