What are a prisoner’s favorite building materials?
Steal and cement.
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You’re so short that you can save on rent by living in a doll’s house.
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What did the first person to get April fooled say?
“Jesus! I thought you were dead!”
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My boss told me that work might be a little blue today.
But I didn’t know that meant the copiers were taking the day off.
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Feel free to use me as a bad example.
That way, I won’t be totally useless.
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What do you call a Chinese man with one leg?
Tai Wan Shu.
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What type of brief packs a punch?
A boxer brief.
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Knock! Knock!
“Who’s there?”
“Gopher.”
“Gopher, who?”
“Gopher me, obviously.”
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Knock! Knock!
“Who’s there?”
“Ice cream.”
“Ice cream, who?”
“Ice cream every time I see a ghost!”
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Why do diabetics always have nightmares?
They can’t have sweet dreams.
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What is Yoda’s preferred seat on an aeroplane?
Next to a Windu.
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Did you hear that Jeff Bezos changed his name to Richard and started a living room furniture empire?
I guess you can do anything if you’re sofa king rich.
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How is it possible to have a civil war?
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Our local politician just opened a neighborhood pharmacy store.
He is now a piller of the community.
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I always wanted a life like a Disney princess.
I should have specified not the part where they are stuck at home, cleaning the whole day.
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My grandma was famous for her delicious strawberries.
She made me promise that when she died I would plant strawberries over her grave so everyone could visit and enjoy them.
I fulfilled her wish.
She’s dead and berried.
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How does the Easter Bunny feel after Easter?
Eggs-hausted.
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How many Dragon Ball Z characters does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Just one, but it will take 6 episodes.
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I just joined a gym for religious minorities.
Jehovah’s Fitness.
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Donut judge me for being a dessert lover!
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