Best Jokes (4)



During a business meeting yesterday, a very nice guy asked me about my background.

So I told him about my family, education, career, dreams and goals.

Turns out he was asking what’s behind me on our Zoom call.

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I asked a programmer what his New Year’s resolution will be.

He answered, β€œ640 x 480.”

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I went to a blues concert dressed in all black.

I guess I wasn’t feeling very blues-sympathetic.

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What do you call a lizard that hates Fortnite YouTubers?

An Ali-hater.

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Knock! Knock!

β€œWho’s there?”

β€œPeas.”

β€œPeas, who?”

β€œPeas tell me more knock knock jokes!”

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Why does Spider-Man have shaky hands?

He has Peter Parkinsons.

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The dad says, β€œA man is someone who is responsible and cares for their family.”

The kid replies, β€œI hope one day I can be a man just like mom!”

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I am so single. I went to Grand Canyon, alone.

I yelled β€œI love you” just to hear it said back to me.

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My grandma was famous for her delicious strawberries.

She made me promise that when she died I would plant strawberries over her grave so everyone could visit and enjoy them.

I fulfilled her wish.

She’s dead and berried.

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Why was the blueberry muffin so sad?

It was feeling a little crumby.

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I met a witch at the restaurant the other day, guess what she ordered?

Spook-eti.

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Roses are red, violets are blue.

I thought Voldemort was ugly, then I saw you.

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What’s an HR professional’s favorite hobby?

Filing. They just love putting everyone in their place.

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How do you keep your jewelry from being stolen?

Leave it in a bass guitar case.

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How many Sith Lords does it take to change a light bulb?

None, because they prefer it a little on the dark side.

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Manager: β€œSir, our employees are so habitual of working from home and can’t work in a normal office.”

β€œFor a better environment, we have made the office look and facility like Home and ask them to come in their pajamas.”

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Chuck Norris can gargle peanut butter.

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What a strange morning.

First, I find a hat full of money in the street.

And then I get chased by an angry guy with a guitar!

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What do you call a computer covered in fruit chunks?

A pineApple Mac.

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If God really made everything…

He’s Chinese, right?

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