I missed a question on my biology exam today.
The question was: What are commonly found in cells?
I guess βprisonersβ wasnβt the right answer.
π π π
My boyfriend and I broke up.
He wanted to get married... I didnβt want him to.
π π π
Why did the Spanish Inquisition yank out peopleβs molars?
Because they wanted the tooth, the whole truth, so help them God.
π π π
Chuck Norris made the llama extinct.
Never spit in his face.
π π π
My Mom said sheβd been looking forward to Motherβs Day for ages.
I said, βWhy? Your Mumβs dead.β
π π π
How do you make a Pinterest user laugh?
Show them a pin-teresting joke.
π π π
What do you say to an angry baked sweet potato?
Anything, just butter him up.
π π π
Whatβs an alienβs favorite chocolate bar?
A mars bar!
π π π
What do you call a man with a shovel on his head?
An ambulance, heβs clearly injured.
π π π
A guy was walking along the street when he saw a crowd of people running towards him.
He stopped one of the runners and asked, βWhatβs happening?β
The runner replied breathlessly, βA lion has escaped from the zoo.β
βOh my, which way is it heading?β
βWell, you donβt think we are chasing it, do you?β
π π π
Why did the ant hidebehind the tree?
To trip the elephant.
π π π
What do you call a fish who raps?
Swim Shady.
π π π
I saw a ghost at the hair salon. Can you guess what she was doing?
Getting a scare-cut!
π π π
What was the full name of Eddie Murphyβs character in Shrek?
Donkey Ho-tay!
π π π
Why did the Pilgrims eat turkey on Thanksgiving?
They couldnβt get the moose in the oven!
π π π
Taylor Swiftβs latest song sounds almost exactly like one of Madonnaβs hits from the 80s.
Itβs Borderline plagiarism.
π π π
Why did the bearded man decline the invitation to a charity event?
It was a fund razor.
π π π
Why does the Easter Bunny drink beer?
He loves the hops.
π π π
Itβs your birthday; letβs donuts!
π π π
There was a mushroom on the first floor of my house.
Morel of the storey.
π π π