When the red panda got tired, it decided to take a koala-ty nap.
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How do you call a cow in Ramadan?
A Mooslim.
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Your sister is so fat her Apple Watch is an iPad Pro on a rope.
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Why didnβt the vampire bite Taylor Swift?
Because she had bad blood.
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What do you call a snake with no clothes on?
Snaked.
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What do you call a fish with no eyes?
Fsh.
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A guy in a plane stood up and shouted, βHIJACK!β
All the passengers got scared.
From the other end of the plane, a guy shouted back, βHI JOHN!β
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Did you hear about the baseball player who can spot a fast-food restaurant from miles away?
He leads the league in Arby eyes.
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Knock! Knock!
βWhoβs there?β
After a very long pause.
βJava.β
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Where do pumpkins hold meetings?
In the gourdroom.
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A mother noticed her little daughter praying.
βPlease, God,β the little girl kept saying, βBless my father and my mother and make Melaka the capital city of Malaysia.β
βWhy did you make such as strange request?β the mother asked.
βBecause thatβs what I wrote in my Geography test this morning!β
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Why arenβt people inΒ recoveryΒ good dancers?
They lose interest afterΒ twelve steps.
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Where do chess grandmasters keep their pet snakes?
In a chesst.
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The other night, I overheard three very hefty women talking.
Their accent appeared to be Scottish, so I approached them and asked, βHello, are you three lassies from Scotland?β
One of them angrily screeched, βItβs Wales, Wales, you bloody idiot!β
So I apologized and replied, βI am so sorry. Are you three whales from Scotland?β
And thatβs the last thing I remember.
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A yam and a hot dog are having a heart-to-heart.
Yam: βCan I be candied with you?β
Hot dog: βIn that case, let me be frank.β
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Why does a pitcher raise one leg when he throws the ball?
If he raises them both, heβd fall down.
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Yo mama so stupid she made an appointment with Dr Pepper.
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A man goes to an ice cream stall in Siberia.
The owner asks, βWhich type of ice cream? The ice cream from the freezer, or the ice cream on the display cabinet?β
The man replies, βThe one in the freezer, Iβm pretty sure itβs warmer in there.β
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They said pooping is a call of nature.
So is farting a missed call?
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Yo mamma so hairy that Han Solo mistaken her for Chewbackaο»Ώ.
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