During a business meeting yesterday, a very nice guy asked me about my background.
So I told him about my family, education, career, dreams and goals.
Turns out he was asking what’s behind me on our Zoom call.
😄 😄 😄
How many Karens does it take to change a light bulb?
Only one. She calls the emergency number and demands that a police officer come and do something about the intimidating blackness.
😄 😄 😄
Why don’t men with beards need a vacuum?
Because they already have a crumb catcher on their faces.
😄 😄 😄
How do you know that the driver driving toward you is a physicist?
He has a red sticker on his bumper that says “If this sticker is blue, you are driving too fast”.
😄 😄 😄
My exercise routine includes running away from my problems, running late, and running my mouth non-stop.
😄 😄 😄
Why did the chicken cross the road?
If you saw Chuck Norris coming, you’d have crossed that road too!
😄 😄 😄
My spider senses tell me you’re going to fall for me harder than Gwen Stacy.
😄 😄 😄
There are two ways of waking up in the morning.
One is to say, “Good morning, God,”
And the other is to say, “Good God, morning!”
😄 😄 😄
Where do books sleep?
Under their covers.
😄 😄 😄
Why does the mushroom always get invited to birthday parties?
He’s a fun-gi.
😄 😄 😄
Me: “I’m not able to stop making jokes.”
Doctor: “You can’t be serious.”
Me: “That’s right.”
😄 😄 😄
What would you get if you crossed Christmas with St. Patrick’s Day?
St. O’Claus.
😄 😄 😄
Little Johnny had finished his summer vacation and gone back to school.
Two days later his teacher phoned his mother to tell her that he was misbehaving.
“Wait a minute,” she said. “I had Johnny with me for three months and I never called you once when he misbehaved.”
😄 😄 😄
Your mama so old when she was born the Dead Sea was just getting sick!
😄 😄 😄
No one turns on their camera in Zoom.
They have been infected by Novid-19.
😄 😄 😄
Did you hear about the watermelon who starred in a telanovella?
It was melondramatic.
😄 😄 😄
Cars look both ways in case Chuck Norris is crossing the street.
😄 😄 😄
It turns out a major new study recently found that humans eat more bananas than monkeys.
It’s true. I can’t remember the last time I ate a monkey.
😄 😄 😄
What do peanuts wear on their feet?
Cashews.
😄 😄 😄
Knock! Knock!
“Who’s there?”
“Bertha.”
“Bertha, who?”
“Happy Bertha Day to you.”
😄 😄 😄
