Best Jokes (4)



Deep sleep prevents aging.

Especially when you are driving.

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Why did the watermelon have brown spots all over its skin?

It had melonoma.

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Two married unicorns are lying in bed.

The husband unicorn, without looking up from his newspaper, says, β€œBig storm’s a brewin.”

The wife unicorn then replies, β€œWell, then I’m glad we didn’t go on that cruise with your whack job friend Noah.”

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A grumpy man spent an evening with his friends at a comedy club and asked his doctor for a course on antibiotics. Guess what for?

He thought laughter was infectious.

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What’s the best way to organize a space party?

Planet early!

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What vegetable can tie your shoes?

String beans.

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It’s so hot my Iceberg lettuce melted.

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My wife told me I was immature and needed to grow up.

Guess who’s not allowed in my tree house anymore.

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What do you get when you cross a kangaroo with a sheep?

A woolly jumper.

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Who’s beaver’s favorite pop singer?

Justin Beaver.

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What does Alexa like to eat for breakfast?

Siri-al.

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Knock! Knock!

β€œWho’s there?”

β€œGoat.”

β€œGoat, who?”

β€œGoat on a limb and open the door.”

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Why was the hip replacement patient alwaysΒ winningΒ atΒ poker?

Because they always had aΒ coupleΒ of joints up their sleeve.

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What’s a poodle’s favorite kind of pizza?

Pupperoni.

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Patient: β€œDoctor, doctor! I’ve swallowed my money!”

Doctor: β€œTake this, and we’ll see if there’s any change in the morning.”

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I don’t plan to put up solar panels...

But, if you do, more power to you.

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Got an ice cream for my girlfriend.

Best trade I ever made.

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What did the fancy bearded goat order at the cafΓ©?

A goa-tea.

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Guess what made the sea monster such a successful comedian?

He was always kraken everyone up.

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What’s the hardest part of the roofing business?

The overhead.

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