How do you know that you play WoW too often?
When your microwave does “DING!” and you reply “GZ!”.
😄 😄 😄
Yo momma’s nose so big you can go bowling with her boogers!
😄 😄 😄
What does the Elf on the Shelf use to write with on the blackboard?
Chalk-olate.
😄 😄 😄
A lion would never play golf.
But a Tiger Wood.
😄 😄 😄
I got caught cheating on my physics exam.
Furious, my professor said to me, “I hope you understand the gravity of the situation!”
But if I had known that, I wouldn’t be in this situation in the first place.
😄 😄 😄
I got a pet owl named Robin.
Robin Hoo-d.
😄 😄 😄
You are so dumb you asked what the capital of Paris was.
😄 😄 😄
Knock! Knock!
“Who’s there?”
“Owl.”
“Owl, who?”
“Owl be glad to meet you if you let me in.”
😄 😄 😄
Knock! Knock!
“Who’s there?”
“Bacon.”
“Bacon, who?”
“Bacon a cake for your birthday.”
😄 😄 😄
Dropped a huge bottle of ketchup on my foot.
It caused severe pain to-ma-toes.
😄 😄 😄
The toast was having a sleepover. Guess what he was wearing?
His favorite pa-jam-as.
😄 😄 😄
Yo mama so dumb she took a ruler to bed to see how long she slept.
😄 😄 😄
My friend thought he was better Super Mario player than me.
But he was wrong on so many levels.
😄 😄 😄
What motorbikes do ghosts prefer?
A boocati.
😄 😄 😄
A thief got caught stealing pizza. Guess what the police told him?
His marinara rights.
😄 😄 😄
Police have arrested a gang of corn flakes that they allege committed a spree of armed robberies throughout the metro area.
A Police spokesman described them as cereal offenders.
😄 😄 😄
The physics student asks to go to the bathroom. Professor asks, “Liquid, Solid or Gas?”
😄 😄 😄
A woman called an airline customer-service desk asking if it was possible to fly with her dog on board.
“Sure,” the airline agent said, “as long as you provide your own kennel.”
She continued to explain that the kennel needed to be large enough for the dog to stand up, sit down, turn around, and roll over.
The customer was perplexed.
“I’ll never be able to teach him all of that by tomorrow!”
😄 😄 😄
Why are short people better than tall people?
They are more down to earth.
😄 😄 😄
On Monday morning, rolling out of bed is easy...
Getting up off the floor is another story.
😄 😄 😄
