What’s the difference between a poorly dressed man on a bicycle and a nicely dressed man on a tricycle?
A tire.
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The moon gets a little more chilly in September, time to put on its harvest!
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What did the little cacti say to the big cactus when they were running away?
“Cactus if you can!”
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I just saw this guy going up a hill with a wheelbarrow full of horseshoes, four leaf clovers and rabbit’s feet.
I thought he’s pushing his luck!
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A friend of mine has a mobile phone shaped like an Italian dumpling.
It’s a gnocchia.
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Why do Baby Boomers always pay by cheque?
Because they hate change.
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My boss fired me for making too many Asian jokes.
It was the end of my Korea.
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As soon as the ancient Egyptian kings come to know about the pyramid scheme.
They stopped building monuments immediately.
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Do you know that Albert Einstein’s birthday was on Pi Day i.e., March 14, 1879?
Perhaps he served pie for his birthday instead of cake.
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A kid in school hands in a blank piece of paper for his art homework.
The teacher says, “What’s this?”
The kid says, “A picture of a cow eating grass.”
The teacher asks, “Where’s the grass?”
The kid says, “The cow ate it all.”
“Ok, then where’s the cow?”
“It left because there was no more grass.”
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My lucky day! I didn’t have enough money for the Honda, but the dealership took pity on me and gave me an old Fiesta.
I couldn’t afford an Accord, but I was accorded a Ford.
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It’s a good thing snakes and dogs don’t interbreed.
Nobody wants a loyal snake.
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Why are donuts good at playing golf?
They always have a hole in one!
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My friends keep calling me a joker.
But no matter how many decks of cards I search through, I still can’t find my face on a single one.
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Why did the gum cross the road?
It was stuck to the chicken’s foot.
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Why was the florist afraid of roses?
Quite honestly, she didn’t know where the fear stemmed from.
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What two things can you never eat for breakfast?
Lunch and dinner!
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When Chuck Norris turned 18, his parents moved out.
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What’s the difference between a teacher and a train?
The teacher says “Spit your gum out!” and the train says “Chew, chew!”
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What do moon people do after they get married?
Go on their honey-earth!
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