A man went to the pet shop to buy a budgie.
βI would like a blue budgie pleaseβ he said to the assistant.
βI havenβt got a blue one,β the assistant replied. βIβll sell you a green one and a tin of paint. You can paint it yourself.β
βOK,β said the man, βthatβll do.β
The next day, the man comes back. The budgie is dead.
βLook at this,β said the man. βIt died while I was painting it.β
βThatβs odd,β said the assistant, βIβm sure that paint was safe.β
The man replies, βI never got round to painting it. It died when I was burning the old paint offβ¦β
π π π
Wishing a happy womenβs day to Siri and Alexa...
The only two women who listen to men and do as they say!
π π π
An old country gentleman sent his son off to engineering school.
Four years later, upon his sonβs return, he asked him what he had learned at college.
The son replied, βPi r square.β
The dad exclaimed, βYou didnβt learn nothinβ, boy! Pie are round, breadβs square.β
π π π
Whatβs the difference between bird flu and swine flu?
One requires a tweetment and one requires an oinkment.
π π π
A few guys in Spider-Man costumes walked into a bar.
Apparently, they were web designers!
π π π
I went out the other day and there was a butterfly wrapped up in a web.
A few days later it had turned into a spider.
Natures amazing.
π π π
Why are fat penguins so popular at parties?
They know how to break the ice.
π π π
The moon gets a little more chilly in September, time to put on its harvest!
π π π
What do moon people do after they get married?
Go on their honey-earth!
π π π
Guess what the only superhero I want to be?
YourMan.
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I named my pet goldfish Uranus.
It really keeps my aquarium afloat.
π π π
What did the chef say to his staff on Labor Day?
βLetβs take a break and cook up some fun!β
π π π
I met a girl on Tinder and we were going to go to the gym on our first date, but she stood me up.
I suppose we arenβt gonna work out.
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A good friend of mineβFrankβowns and operates a struggling Hot Dog business.
He recently turned to social media to help boost sales though and is determined to make every post a weiner.
π π π
Knock! Knock!
βWhoβs there?β
βLenny.β
βLenny, who?β
βLenny know when youβre done with these April Foolsβ Day jokes.β
π π π
I wanted to try my hand at designing my own game on Roblox.
But it was just too blocky for me.
π π π
Which ankle did Spider-Man twist after tripping on the curb?
Ankle Ben.
π π π
Knock! Knock!
βWhoβs there?β
βHalibut.β
βHalibut, who?β
βHalibut lending me five dollars?β
π π π
My favorite planet is Uranus because itβs just so well-rounded.
π π π
Yo Mama is so old sheβs got a Bible autographed by Jesus.
π π π