Yo mamaβs so dumb she thought a lightsaber has fewer calories!
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Why did the blue-faced man get lost?
He was feeling blue and couldnβt find his way.
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The other day my yoga instructor turned up to the class drunk.
I was put in quite an awkward position.
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When I told my parents my wife had come down with the flu, my dad said, βWell, have you tried euthanasia?β
In the background, I could hear my mom yell, βFor the last time, Henry, itβs pronounced βEchinacea!β, βEchinacea!!!β.β
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I donβt always look at the heavens.
But when I do, itβs because Iβm looking at Uranus.
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Because the platypus both lays eggs and produces milk?
It is one of the few animals that can make its own custard.
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My grandpa returned from the war with one leg.
We still donβt know to whom that leg belonged.
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A stormtrooper and a redshirt are in a room.
The stormtrooper shoots the redshirt, but misses every shot.
The redshirt dies anyway.
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Feel free to use me as a bad example.
That way, I wonβt be totally useless.
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Why did the influencer terrorist get arrested?
Because his tick tock blew up.
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When you work from home, a Tuesday looks pretty much like a Saturday.
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Why did the mushroom have to leave her home?
It was growing toxic by the day.
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What happens if an owl doesnβt wash?
It smells fowl.
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Yo mamaβs so fat when she fell I didnβt laugh, but the sidewalk cracked up.
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Whatβs a mountain goatβs favorite name?
Cliff.
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I just found out Canada isnβt real.
Turns out it was all maple leaf.
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What is a math teacherβs favorite tree?
Geometry.
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A kangaroo mom with seven babies in her pouch told another kangaroo mom, βThese sleepovers are killing me.β
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Good morning!
Remember, a yawn is a silent scream for coffee.
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Why do people with vertigo hate autumn?
In case they have a bad fall.
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