Knock! Knock!
“Who’s there?”
“Donut.”
“Donut, who?”
“Donut worry, be happy!”
😄 😄 😄
Knock! Knock!
“Who’s there?”
“Uranus.”
“Uranus, who?”
“Uranus is a gas giant.”
😄 😄 😄
What did the bread say before it jumped into the toaster?
“I’M BREADY TO DIE!”
😄 😄 😄
Teachers deserve a lot of credit.
Of course, if we paid them more, they wouldn’t need it.
😄 😄 😄
Bill and Melinda were happy for 27 years
And then Bill started working from home.
😄 😄 😄
A Vietnamese farmer was working in the rice paddy field when he sees his son running to him.
“Father, father look,” the kid points to a newspaper and says excitedly. “The Americans have gone to the moon.”
The farmer drops his plow and asks excitedly, “All of them?”
“No, just 3,” replies the kid.
“Damn it!” The father shakes his head in disappointment and goes back to the field.
😄 😄 😄
An English prisoner of war was held by the Germans.
The Englishman was shot all over the place, and okay until one day when the German told him, “Englander, your arm is infected with gangrene, we must cut it off.”
The English prisoner said, “Well, okay, but could you drop it over England when you go bombing.”
The German replied, “Yeah, that will not be a problem.”
A few weeks later, the German tells the Englishman that they have to cut his other arm off.
The Englishman says, “Well, could drop it over England like you did last time.”
“Yeah, that will be done,” says the German.
The next day, the German tells him that they have to cut his leg off.
Once again, the Brit says, “Well, could you do the same as before?”
The German replies, “Yeah.”
The next day, the German tells him they have to cut his other leg.
“Well,” begins the Brit, “could you just...”
The German snapped, “No! We think you are trying to escape!”
😄 😄 😄
I’m going to take you out for a morning walk.
Whether you’re sleeping or not!
😄 😄 😄
Chuck Norris is so powerful that when he goes fishing, the fish are so scared they drown.
😄 😄 😄
Two scientists walk into a bar.
One says, “I’ll have an H2O please.”
😄 😄 😄
What was the mermaid doing at the bottom of the sea?
She dropped out of school.
😄 😄 😄
Why did the red panda become an actor?
It had a panda-mic personality.
😄 😄 😄
“Good morning” is a contradiction of terms.
😄 😄 😄
To make mistakes is human.
To blame someone else for your problem, is strategic.
😄 😄 😄
Yo daddy is so dumb he got hit by a parked car.
😄 😄 😄
Geology rocks, but geography is where it’s at.
😄 😄 😄
What is Harry Potter’s favorite subject in school?
Spelling.
😄 😄 😄
Why is everyone so tired on April 1st?
Because they just finished a 31-day march.
😄 😄 😄
What was the name of the frog’s favorite crisp dish?
Croaky bacon.
😄 😄 😄
What do you call a group of nurses who are musicians?
Band aides.
😄 😄 😄
