What does CHEVY stand for?
Can Hear Every Valve Yell.
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Memo from Director-General to Manager:
Today at 11 o’clock there will be a total eclipse of the sun. This is when the sun disappears behind the moon for two minutes.
As this is something that cannot be seen every day, time will be allowed for employees to view the eclipse in the car park.
Staff should meet in the car park at ten to eleven when I will deliver a short speech introducing the eclipse and giving some background information.
Safety goggles will be made available at a small cost.
Memo from Manager to Department Head:
Today at ten to eleven, all staff should meet in the car park. This will be followed by a total eclipse of the sun, which will disappear for two minutes.
For a moderate cost, this will be made safe with goggles.
The Director-General will deliver a short speech beforehand to give us all some background information. This is not something that can be seen every day.
Memo from Department Head to Floor Manager:
The Director-General will today deliver a short speech to make the sun disappear for two minutes in the eclipse.
This is something that can not be seen every day, so staff will meet in the car park at ten or eleven.
This will be safe if you pay a moderate cost.
Memo From Floor Manager to Supervisor:
Ten or eleven staff are to go to the car park, where the Director-General will eclipse the sun for two minutes.
This doesn’t happen every day. It will be safe, but it will cost you.
Memo from Supervisor to staff:
Some staff will go to the car park today to see the Director-General disappear.
It is a pity this doesn’t happen every day.
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Why did the unlucky bearded man shave?
Because fortune favors the shave!
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Why are chemists great for solving problems?
They have all the solutions.
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Two corns in a field were telling each other corny jokes.
They were the laughing stalk of the field.
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What is Spider-Man’s favorite brand of rice?
Uncle Ben’s.
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How many bankers does it take to change a light bulb?
Four. One to hold the bulb, and three to try and remember the combination.
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He’s a blue-chip investment for any company.
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I suspect the moon wasn’t hungry last night.
It looked full.
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If Shrek had been an average movie, it would’ve been...
Mediogre.
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And you resemble a pole.
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Relationships are a lot like algebra.
Have you ever looked at your X and wondered Y?
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Why did the astronaut bring a ladder to Uranus?
To reach for the stars.
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How many atheists does it take to change a light bulb?
Two. One to actually change the bulb, and the other to film it so fundamentalists won’t claim that god did it.
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Why don’t they sell GPSs in Italy?
Because all the roads lead to Rome.
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What did the farmer say to his workers on Labor Day?
“I don’t carrot all, take the day off and lettuce celebrate!”
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How Chuck Norris plays golf?
He stares at the ball and the ball goes into the hole to hide.
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I think I am going to need knee surgery.
Every day I am with you, I fall for you all over again.
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Chuck Norris doesn’t call the wrong number, you answer the wrong phone.
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What do you call a gigantic polar bear?
Nothing, you just run away!
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