Best Jokes (4)



The center of a donut is 100% fat-free.

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I went on a date with a dentist last night.

At the end of the date, she said she’d had a great time and she’d like to see me again in 6 month’s time.

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What kind of pets does a band have?

Trum-pets.

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Let me tell you how I became a millionaire.

First, I bought one apple for a dollar with my savings.

Then I went out on the street and sold it there for two dollars.

With the two dollars I bought two apples for 1 dollar each and again sold them for 2 dollars each.

Now I had 4 dollars and was able to buy 4 apples, which, you may have guessed, I sold for 2 dollars each.

Now I had 8 dollars and I bought 8 apples and so on and so on.

A few days later my aunt died and I inherited her assets.

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Last night in jail, they gave us mint chocolates for dessert.

I thought they’d be gross, but they were actually pretty good. Turns out...

That in-prison mint isn’t as bad as I expected!

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To whoever stole my thesaurus, you made my day bad. I hope bad things happen to you. You’re a bad person.

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What do you call a chili with a PhD?

Dr. Pepper.

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Chuck Norris can finish Mario Bros. without using the jump button.

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I had a bison steak at a restaurant recently.

When I finished, I asked the waiter for the buffalo bill.

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What do you call an alien that lives in a bog?

A marsh-in!

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Did you hear about the werewolf who majored in philosophy?

Now he’s a whywolf.

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How many boomers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They’ll all resist change even if it means making the world a brighter place.

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Millennial superstitions:

If your phone drops in the toilet bowl, you will have seven years of frustrating eyebrows.

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Did you hear about the lazy flower who finally got his act together?

He just needed a kick in the bud.

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I had a nightmare last night that my TikTok account was deleted.

It was scary because I thought I had a TikTok account for a second.

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Where did Vecna go for 8 years?

On a diet.

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You’re so short that when you get angry at people for making fun of you, all you can do is bite their ankles.

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Roses are red, violets are blue.

A face like yours, belongs in a zoo.

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I was thinking of getting rid of the beard.

But I’ve had it for so long that at this point, it makes the decisions for me.

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What do you call cheese that’s not yours?

Nacho cheese.

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