What would you call a small scoop of ice cream?
A uni-cone.
😄 😄 😄
Knock! Knock!
“Who’s there?”
“Boo.”
“Boo, who?”
“Don’t cry, it’s only Tuesday!”
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I’m still taller than your IQ.
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Your mama so old she farts dust!
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A woman was in bed with her lover when she heard her husband opening the front door.
“Quick, jump out the window,” she says to him.
“What???” the guy says. “We’re on the 13th floor!”
She says, “Just jump, this is no time to be superstitious!”
😄 😄 😄
What do you call tea made with weed and koala bears?
A High Koala Tea Beverage.
😄 😄 😄
Chuck Norris speaks English, French, Spanish, Italian, and Portuguese.
At the same time in every sentence.
😄 😄 😄
Why do crypto fans love donuts?
Because they’re decentralized.
😄 😄 😄
My doctor warned me that constantly singing Frank Sinatra songs was bad for my health, but I just wouldn’t listen.
And now, the end is near.
😄 😄 😄
What does Spider-Man use when he wants to be stealthy?
The Dark Web.
😄 😄 😄
What does a philosophy student feel when they fail a module on empiricism?
Hume-iliation.
😄 😄 😄
What do the US military and a fart have in common?
Air Force.
😄 😄 😄
Marvel Studios is now against hair coloring.
In fact, their next film is about a group of people that never dye.
😄 😄 😄
An onion just told me a joke.
I don’t know whether to laugh or cry.
😄 😄 😄
The universe expands because everything is trying to get as far away from Chuck Norris as possible.
😄 😄 😄
A clean desk is a sign of a cluttered desk drawer.
😄 😄 😄
Where do you park a camel?
At the Camelot.
😄 😄 😄
Nobody wants to be alone.
A recently divorced friend of mine is hopeful of once again finding romance. Beer belly, completely bald...
I don’t like her chances.
😄 😄 😄
Why didn’t SpongeBob hear the doorbell when he was reading his magazine?
Because he was too absorbed in his reading.
😄 😄 😄
Once, there was a man who came from Spain to America.
He couldn’t speak English, so he went to a choir and learned how to say, “Me me me me me me.”
Then he went to the store and saw a little girl say, “He stole my dolly.”
On his way home, he went to get meat from the butcher and learned how to say, “Big butcher knife, big butcher knife.”
Then he went home and watched an air freshener commercial and learned how to say, “Plug it in, plug it in.”
Later, he went to the store, and there was a murder.
The police said, “Who killed this man?”
The foreigner said, “Me me me me me me.”
The police said, “Why did you kill him?”
The man said, “He stole my dolly.”
The policeman said, “What did you kill him with?”
The man said, “Big butcher knife, big butcher knife.”
Then they took him to jail and sentenced him to death.
The policeman said, “Any last words?”
The foreigner said, “Plug it in, plug it in.”
😄 😄 😄
