What do you call a Shrek fan girl?
An O-girl!
😄 😄 😄
Why did the chicken cross the road?
Because it was trying to escape the gravitational pull of your mother.
😄 😄 😄
Your mama’s so short she does backflips under the bed.
😄 😄 😄
So I asked my Spanish friend if he knew where fish lived.
He said, “Si.”
😄 😄 😄
What would happen if you took the school bus home?
The police would make you bring it back!
😄 😄 😄
Yo mama so ugly Forever Alone Guy denied her friend request.
😄 😄 😄
On his 16th birthday, I thought my son deserved to know the truth about his being adopted.
So when he got home from school, I said to him, “Steve, do you mind sitting down, I’ve got something to tell you.”
“Dad, guess what?!” he shouted excitedly.
“Steve, this is important.” I urged.
“No way, Dad. Listen!”
“Steve. Please. Don’t make this hard for me. It’s about your mum and me.”
“Dad! Shut up! I’ve just won £250,000 on a scratch card!”
“That’s amazing son! Your old Dad’s really made up for you!”
😄 😄 😄
What does a one-legged man call karate?
Partial Arts.
😄 😄 😄
I met a girl on Tinder and we were going to go to the gym on our first date, but she stood me up.
I suppose we aren’t gonna work out.
😄 😄 😄
What word in the dictionary is spelled incorrectly?
Incorrectly.
😄 😄 😄
Why did the electrician stay home on Labor Day?
He needed to recharge his batteries.
😄 😄 😄
Doctor: “Who’s my next patient?”
Nurse: “Mr. Ghost.”
Doctor: “Tell him I can’t see right now.”
😄 😄 😄
Why did the Pilgrim kill the turkey?
Because he was in a fowl mood.
😄 😄 😄
No thanks, pants! I am working from home today.
😄 😄 😄
Why did the cowboy take hay to bed?
To feed his nightmares.
😄 😄 😄
Did you hear about the watermelon who starred in a telanovella?
It was melondramatic.
😄 😄 😄
It’s so hot my campfire lit itself.
😄 😄 😄
What do you do when 50 zombies surround your house?
Hope it’s Halloween...
😄 😄 😄
Which sweet dessert is banned from the menu at the Deer Café?
Chocolate Moose.
😄 😄 😄
You’re so short that you had to use a toothpick to compete in the javelin.
😄 😄 😄
