Best Jokes (4)



How does a lobster answer the phone?

β€œShello?”

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Mom: β€œYour great-aunt just passed away. LOL.”

Son: β€œWhy is that funny?”

Mom: β€œIt’s not funny, David! What do you mean?”

Son: β€œMom, LOL means Laughing Out Loud.”

Mom: β€œI thought it meant Lots of Love... I have to call everyone back!”

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Knock! Knock!

β€œWho’s there?”

β€œLettuce.”

β€œLettuce, who?”

β€œLettuce in, it’s cold out here.”

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I like to show my girlfriend who’s the boss in our house.

I do this by holding a mirror up to her face.

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There’s a contest going around and if you win 1st place you get a whole solar system named after you.

Second place is just a constellation prize.

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What did the turkey say during Thanksgiving?

It was too stuffed to say anything.

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What do you call four Spanish guys in a capsized boat?

Quatro sinko.

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What’s a clockmaker’s favorite social media site?

TikTok.

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Guess what the chop said to the steak on their first date?

It’s so nice to finally meat you!

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Tesla founder Elon Musk is originally from South Africa, which is strange.

You’d think he was from mad-at-gas-car.

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I guess I don’t need any sunshine anymore.

Because your smile is going to brighten up my day!

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Hey Baby, My Name Is Saul Goodman.

I guess you better call me.

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What would’ve been a better name for the lion instead of King of the Jungle?

Emperoar.

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I went to a party once where everyone was dressed in blue.

It was like a sea of navy-tees.

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What ever happened to the Fried Shrimp emoji?

It was tempurary.

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Once a boy was killing mosquitoes.

The girl asked him, β€œHow many mosquitoes have you killed?”

He replied, β€œ3 female and 2 male.”

She asked, β€œHow did you know that they were male or female?”

He replied, β€œ3 were sitting in front of the mirror and the 2 were sitting on the treadmill.”

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What do you call a bear that likes to spend his summers at the North Pole and his winters at the South?

A bi-polar bear.

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What do spiders eat in Paris?

French flies.

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What do you call cheese that isn’t yours?

Stolen.

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I asked my German friend how many planets are in our Solar System.

Surprisingly he said, β€œNine.”

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