Deep sleep prevents aging.
Especially when you are driving.
😄 😄 😄
Why did the watermelon have brown spots all over its skin?
It had melonoma.
😄 😄 😄
Two married unicorns are lying in bed.
The husband unicorn, without looking up from his newspaper, says, “Big storm’s a brewin.”
The wife unicorn then replies, “Well, then I’m glad we didn’t go on that cruise with your whack job friend Noah.”
😄 😄 😄
A grumpy man spent an evening with his friends at a comedy club and asked his doctor for a course on antibiotics. Guess what for?
He thought laughter was infectious.
😄 😄 😄
What’s the best way to organize a space party?
Planet early!
😄 😄 😄
What vegetable can tie your shoes?
String beans.
😄 😄 😄
It’s so hot my Iceberg lettuce melted.
😄 😄 😄
My wife told me I was immature and needed to grow up.
Guess who’s not allowed in my tree house anymore.
😄 😄 😄
What do you get when you cross a kangaroo with a sheep?
A woolly jumper.
😄 😄 😄
Who’s beaver’s favorite pop singer?
Justin Beaver.
😄 😄 😄
What does Alexa like to eat for breakfast?
Siri-al.
😄 😄 😄
Knock! Knock!
“Who’s there?”
“Goat.”
“Goat, who?”
“Goat on a limb and open the door.”
😄 😄 😄
Why was the hip replacement patient always winning at poker?
Because they always had a couple of joints up their sleeve.
😄 😄 😄
What’s a poodle’s favorite kind of pizza?
Pupperoni.
😄 😄 😄
Patient: “Doctor, doctor! I’ve swallowed my money!”
Doctor: “Take this, and we’ll see if there’s any change in the morning.”
😄 😄 😄
I don’t plan to put up solar panels...
But, if you do, more power to you.
😄 😄 😄
Got an ice cream for my girlfriend.
Best trade I ever made.
😄 😄 😄
What did the fancy bearded goat order at the café?
A goa-tea.
😄 😄 😄
Guess what made the sea monster such a successful comedian?
He was always kraken everyone up.
😄 😄 😄
What’s the hardest part of the roofing business?
The overhead.
😄 😄 😄
