Wanna know a way for werewolves to howl other than the full moon?
Make them stub their toe.
😄 😄 😄
Why did Chewbacca get sent back down to play minor league baseball?
He was making too many Wookiee mistakes.
😄 😄 😄
Friend: “Where were you?”
Me: “I got sick and had to rush to the doctor.”
Friend: “Flu?”
Me: “Nah, just drove really fast.”
😄 😄 😄
Why did ChatGPT get kicked out of school?
Because it knew too much.
😄 😄 😄
Your mama’s so short that she has to look up to look down.
😄 😄 😄
The lawyer’s son wanted to follow in his father’s footsteps, so he went to law school and graduated with honors. Then he went home to join his father’s firm.
At the end of his first day at work, he rushed into his father’s office and said, “Father, father! In one day I broke the Smith case that you’ve been working on for so long!”
His father yelled, “You idiot! We’ve been living on the funding of that case for ten years!”
😄 😄 😄
What did the serial killer give his lover for Valentine’s day?
His heart! (Well, not his.)
😄 😄 😄
Yo sister so ugly her pillow cries at night.
😄 😄 😄
What do you call a noun that is very good at its job?
A pronoun.
😄 😄 😄
What did the peanut butter say to the jelly when it won the lottery?
“We’re rich and jellyous!”
😄 😄 😄
People say that I’m creative and I couldn’t agree more because I create most of my own problems.
😄 😄 😄
Are you from Paris?
Because Eiffel for you.
😄 😄 😄
I caught bird flu while waiting for a flight at the airport.
I have since found out it is a terminal illness.
😄 😄 😄
Did you hear about the pig who got sick after catching a flight?
Swine flu.
😄 😄 😄
The cactus is talking to his wife.
Wife: “You’re so selfish. You have to remember that it’s cact-US.”
Cactus: “Actually, the plural of cactus is catc-I.”
😄 😄 😄
“I’m sorry,” said the clerk in flower shop, “we don’t have potted geraniums... Could you use African violets instead?”
Replied the customer sadly, “No, it was geraniums my wife told me to water while she was gone.”
😄 😄 😄
Why do blueberries get along with everyone?
They’re naturally blue-tiful.
😄 😄 😄
What do you call a unicorn’s dad?
Popcorn.
😄 😄 😄
What can a whole pizza do that a half pizza cannot do?
A whole one can look round.
😄 😄 😄
What do you get when you cross a robot and a tractor?
A transfarmer.
😄 😄 😄
