Yo mama so fat when she sat on a dollar bill she squeezed a booger out of George Washington’s nose.
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Roses are red, violets are blue.
Every time I flush the toilet, I think of you.
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Why are mushroom children so good?
They don’t want to get in truffle.
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Why did the gum cross the road?
It was stuck to the chicken’s foot.
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What do you call a bacon with a Scottish accent?
Ham-ish.
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When you have a question, you check with Google.
When Google has a question, they check with Chuck Norris.
When Chuck Norris has a question, everybody better run!
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Did you know the first Mormon was actually Jamaican?
He had one wife but he wanted more, mon.
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What monster plays the most April Fools’ jokes?
Prankenstein!
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Yo mama so fat people jog around her for exercise.
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Two little boys were known troublemakers, stealing everything they could get their hands, even from the church.
One day a priest stopped one of the boys and asked, “Where is God?”
The boy shrugged and the priest repeated, “Where is God?”
The boy ran out of the cathedral crying to his home where he hid in a closet.
Eventually, his brother found him and asked, “What’s wrong?”
The crying boy replied, “We’re in trouble now! God is missing and they think we took him!”
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A brief rise in suicide is related to the Covid pandemic.
Murderers are working from home.
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What’s a planet’s favorite keyboard key?
The space bar!
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I knew a vampire who was trying to become an actor. He gave it his best shot, but ended up retraining.
He just couldn’t find a role he could sink his teeth into.
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It’s true women do make less money than men. But it’s their fault because they choose the lower-paying jobs.
Men, for example, choose higher-paying jobs like doctor or lawyer.
Whereas women choose lower-paying jobs like women doctor and women lawyer.
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There is currently a tomato ketchup shortage in America.
If they run out of mayonnaise too, does that make it a double-dip recession?
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Which store you shouldn’t enter on Friday the 13th?
The ghost-ery store.
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Yo momma is so fat she makes Jabba look like Calista Flockhart.
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I love your sweater.
I think it’s made out of spouse material.
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How do you make a Chinese man no longer Asian?
Just spin him around in circles until he’s disoriented.
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You so ugly your mum ran up the stairs of the hospital when you were born and jumped off the roof.
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