A rabbi, a priest, and a minister are out fishing in a boat on a big lake when the priest realizes that he has to go to the bathroom.
Not wanting to disturb the fishing of the others in the boat by having them take him to shore, he gets out of the boat, walks across the water to do his business, and then returns to the boat.
A little while later the minister has to go also and he does the same. He walks across the water, does his business, and returns across the water to the boat.
Finally, the rabbi feels the urge to go to the bathroom too, so he climbs out of the boat. But instead of walking across the water, he falls into the water and starts to wildly splash around.
The priest and the minister finally drag the rabbi back into the boat and the priest turns to the minister and says, “Maybe we should have told him where the rocks were.”
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The sunflower didn’t look very well.
I asked if he was feeling bouquet.
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Pros of working from home:
· No pants
· Loud music.
Cons of working from home:
· You have to make your own coffee
· You talk to yourself too much.
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Why did the disgruntled hot dog vendor quit his job?
He just didn’t relish it.
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When Uranus threw a party, everyone was over the moon!
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What do you call a leprechaun drinking a Guinness?
Short and Stout.
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What bird is blue and is great at taking a bath?
A scrub jay.
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Why did the wizard’s wife have hickeys on her neck?
Because he was a neck-romancer.
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What’s the best thing to play a bass guitar with?
A razor blade.
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Why did the Croissants take the Donuts and Bagels to Disneyland?
They thought it would be fun for the hole family.
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Blonde enters the pharmacy.
“Do you have a pregnancy test?”
“Yes, we do.”
“Are questions hard?”
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How did the electrician pay for his new phone?
He charged it.
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Knock! Knock!
“Who’s there?”
“Eat more chicken.”
“Eat more chicken, who?”
“YOU!”
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I love you more than ice cream.
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What do you call a large dog that meditates?
Aware wolf.
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I hate explaining my own jokes. Mostly because I don’t get them either.
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What is CHEVROLET an acronym for?
Constantly Having Every Vehicle Recalled Over Lousy Engineering Techniques.
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Where should a 500-pound alien go?
On a diet.
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What do Darth Vader and Michael Jackson have in common?
They both escaped the dark side.
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What did the emergency dispatcher say when they were asked if they worked indoors or outdoors?
“911 is an inside job.”
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