Best Jokes (4)



Last night in jail, they gave us mint chocolates for dessert.

I thought they’d be gross, but they were actually pretty good. Turns out...

That in-prison mint isn’t as bad as I expected!

πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„


Sherlock Holmes got audited by the IRS.

He had too many deductions.

πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„


Yo momma so fat she can’t reach her back pocket.

πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„


The house is on fire!

Wake up!

πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„


A programmer was arrested for writing unreadable code.

He refused to comment.

πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„


She’s feeling so blue.

She might as well be called the ocean.

πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„


Your mama so short she has to hold a sign up that says β€œDon’t spit, I can’t swim”.

πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„


My friends keep telling me I’m on the autism spectrum.

I can never tell if they’re joking or not.

πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„


Why did the mushroom break up with her boyfriend?

Because he was toxic!

πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„


Have you ever tried to eat a clock?

It’s very time-consuming.

πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„


Did you know that you only need two letters to spell panda?

You just need P and A.

πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„


Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson decide to go on a camping trip.

After dinner and a bottle of wine, they lay down for the night, and go to sleep.

Some hours later, Holmes awoke and nudged his faithful friend.

β€œWatson, look up at the sky and tell me what you see.”

Watson replied, β€œI see millions of stars.”

β€œWhat does that tell you?”

Watson pondered for a minute.

β€œAstronomically, it tells me that there are millions of galaxies and potentially billions of planets.

Astrologically, I observe that Saturn is in Leo.

Horologically, I deduce that the time is approximately a quarter past three.

Theologically, I can see that God is all-powerful and that we are small and insignificant.

Meteorologically, I suspect that we will have a beautiful day tomorrow.

What does it tell you, Holmes?”

Holmes was silent for a minute, then spoke:

β€œWatson, you idiot! Someone has stolen our tent!”

πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„


My wife says she’s leaving me due to my obsession with cricket.

I’ll be honest, it’s knocked me for six.

πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„


What kind of food says mean things about you behind your back?

Shiitake mushrooms.

πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„


Why did Minnie hang up the phone on Mickey?

She was feeling Goofy at the time.

πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„


The hardest part about working from home is the distractions, my girlfriend never stops talking to me while I’m on my PlayStation.

πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„


Mrs. Lewis, a Sunday school teacher, asked her little children one Easter Sunday, as they were on the way to the church service, β€œAnd why is it necessary to be quiet in church?”

Rebecca, a bright little girl piped up, β€œBecause people are sleeping!”

πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„


Yo head is so big if it were a bowling ball, score a strike every time.

πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„


My friend told me that onions were the only things that could make him cry.

So I threw a bowling ball at him to prove him wrong.

πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„


How does a robot eat its guacamole?

With micro-chips.

πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„


















© 2022-2024 jokes.best