Why do all hot dogs look the same after coming off the grill?
Because they are in-bred.
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Yo mama so poor she chases after the garbage truck with a shopping list.
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How do Tusken Raiders cheat on their taxes?
They always single file, to hide their numbers.
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I am sweating like a Christian in a science class.
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A king had ten wild dogs. He used them to torture and kill any minister that misguided him.
A minister once gave an opinion which was wrong and which the king didn’t like at all. So he ordered that the minister to be thrown to the dogs.
The minister said, “I served you loyally ten years, and you do this?”
The king was unrelenting.
Minister pleaded, “Please give me ten days before you throw me to the dogs.”
The king agreed.
In those ten days the minister went to the keeper of the dogs and told him he wanted to serve the dogs for the next ten days. The guard was baffled, but he agreed.
So when the ten days were up, the king ordered that the minister be thrown to the dogs as sentenced.
When he was thrown in, everyone was amazed at what they saw. The dogs were wagging their tails playing with the condemned minister and licking his feet.
The king was baffled at what he saw.
“What happened to the dogs?!” He growled.
The minister then said, “I served the dogs for only ten days, and they didn’t forget my service. Yet I served you for ten years, and you forgot all at the first mistake.”
The king realised his mistake and...
Replaced the dogs with crocodiles.
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What happens to corny jokesters who get jailed on April Fools’ Day?
They go to the pun-itentiary.
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What is a NASA office worker’s favorite part of the workday?
Launchtime.
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I just saw that Harry Potter film. I think it’s a bit unrealistic if you ask me.
I mean, a ginger kid with two friends? How?
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What is round, huge, and very gassy?
Uranus.
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This young Korean couple are lying in bed when the guy starts farting non-stop.
The girl can’t stand the smell and says, “Stop that! It’s disgusting!”
The guy says, “Don’t blame me, it’s the dog.”
“Don’t blame him,” says the girl. “He was cooked perfectly.”
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Why do birds fly south for the fall?
Because it’s quicker than walking.
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A leprechaun walks into a bar...
I guess it wasn’t set very high.
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Did you hear about the physicist who was reading a great book on anti-gravity?
He couldn’t put it down.
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Did you hear about the woman who tried to bribe the police with pennies?
She was taken in by the coppers.
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Let me tell you how I became a millionaire.
First, I bought one apple for a dollar with my savings.
Then I went out on the street and sold it there for two dollars.
With the two dollars I bought two apples for 1 dollar each and again sold them for 2 dollars each.
Now I had 4 dollars and was able to buy 4 apples, which, you may have guessed, I sold for 2 dollars each.
Now I had 8 dollars and I bought 8 apples and so on and so on.
A few days later my aunt died and I inherited her assets.
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Why is it so expensive to run a submarine?
It’s the depth charges.
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What’s a hen’s favorite type of movie?
A chick flick.
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When the Tooth fairy comes to your house, she takes your tooth and gives you money.
When Chuck Norris comes to your house, he breaks your tooth and takes your money.
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What do Saiyans wear to the beach?
Trunks.
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Why do hardcore raiders smell?
Because they never wipe.
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