What did the girl say to Bald Bill when they were engaged?
She said, “God was generous to you. He gave you a lovely face and room for one more.”
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Who is the Easter Bunny’s favorite movie actor?
Rabbit De Niro.
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You make me hap-pea.
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What is a bank card’s favorite fruit?
A PIN-apple.
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Who’s going to the concert festival on Thanksgiving Day?
The bands will be Meatloaf, Korn, The Cranberries, and Smashing Pumpkins.
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My wife was talking about funeral plans.
My Wife: “I said we’ll give you a military send off like the sailors on a ship.”
Me: “I was in the Air Force.”
My Wife: “OK, we’ll toss you out of an airplane.”
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Why are people from New York always depressed?
Because the light at the end of the tunnel is always Jersey.
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The cast of The Wizard of Oz go out for ice cream.
The Lion stops licking his cone, yelling, “Ouch!” and gripping his temples.
The Tinman stops licking his cone, yelling, “Ouch!” and gripping his temples.
Dorothy stops licking her cone, yelling, “Ouch!” and gripping her temples.
The Scarecrow says, “What’s the matter with you guys?”
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Why was the T-Rex Cafe always hiring?
No matter what, they always seemed a bit short handed.
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What did the flower do when she was challenged?
Rose to the occasion.
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How many Dragon Ball Z characters does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Just one, but it will take 6 episodes.
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A local pizza chain just folded.
The new restaurants serve only calzones now.
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His true blue loyalty was betrayed by his green envy.
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I wanted to make nachos, but my dad took the cheese.
He claimed it wasn’t mine.
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Why did the baseball player decide to shut down his website?
It just wasn’t getting any hits.
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Coronavirus is all Gen Z’s fault.
They wanted everything to go viral, now look what’s happened.
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If you were ice cream, you would be my favorite flavor.
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Did you know the seagull was gods third attempt at creating the bird.
The A-gull and B-gull weren’t quite right.
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What month is Jake Paul’s favorite?
Feb-BRO-ary.
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Where should a 500-pound alien go?
On a diet.
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