My wife asked me to put ketchup on the shopping list.
Now I can’t read anything.
😄 😄 😄
Why did all the tissue roll in the wall mart not enough for Spider-man?
Because Spider-man was more into flypaper kind of tissue roll.
😄 😄 😄
How do you keep your jewelry from being stolen?
Leave it in a bass guitar case.
😄 😄 😄
I loved the sound a bird made this morning.
So I re-tweeted it.
😄 😄 😄
Young actor: “Dad, guess what? I’ve just got my first part in a play. I play the part of a man who’s been married for 30 years.”
Father: “Well, keep at it, son. Maybe one day you’ll get a speaking part.”
😄 😄 😄
Why did Johnny take a ruler to bed?
Because he wanted to see how long he slept!
😄 😄 😄
Call me a dentist, because you are too sweet.
😄 😄 😄
What’s a feminist’s least favorite food?
Gender rolls.
😄 😄 😄
What’s a terrorist’s favorite day in November?
Bomb fire night.
😄 😄 😄
What do you call a Jewish fish?
Isra-eel.
😄 😄 😄
Why did the bearded man’s shaving product business flop?
Because of the razor-thin margins.
😄 😄 😄
What is Dr. Pepper’s PhD in?
Fizz-ics.
😄 😄 😄
Why do people wear shamrocks on St. Patrick’s Day?
Because real rocks are too heavy.
😄 😄 😄
Shibram once borrowed 100 INR from his neighbour Rambabu promising to repay on the following Sunday.
When that repayment day came, he borrowed 100 INR from another neighbour—Shyambabu—to repay Rambabu’s loan.
Next Sunday he again borrowed from Rambabu to pay Shyambabu’s loan.
This thing went on for some weeks.
Then one day Shibram called his two neighbours and explained that, “Look, for the last few weeks I’ve been taking money from one of you and giving it to the other alternately. Now it’s enough. Let me get rid of this. Why don’t you guys do it yourselves?”
😄 😄 😄
What goes black, white, black, white, black, white?
A panda rolling down a hill.
😄 😄 😄
What do you call a cute donut?
Adoughrable.
😄 😄 😄
My neighbor rang my door bell at 3 AM this morning. Can you believe it! 3 AM!!
Luckily I was still up playing the drums.
😄 😄 😄
Why do aliens always spill their tea?
Because they have flying saucers!
😄 😄 😄
What do you call it when Shrek falls off a boat?
Ogreboard.
😄 😄 😄
Why are synagogues round?
So the Jews can’t hide in the corner when the collection box comes around.
😄 😄 😄
