What do you call a chili with a PhD?
Dr. Pepper.
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Chuck Norris can finish Mario Bros. without using the jump button.
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I had a bison steak at a restaurant recently.
When I finished, I asked the waiter for the buffalo bill.
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What do you call an alien that lives in a bog?
A marsh-in!
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Did you hear about the werewolf who majored in philosophy?
Now he’s a whywolf.
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How many boomers does it take to change a light bulb?
None. They’ll all resist change even if it means making the world a brighter place.
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Millennial superstitions:
If your phone drops in the toilet bowl, you will have seven years of frustrating eyebrows.
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Did you hear about the lazy flower who finally got his act together?
He just needed a kick in the bud.
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I had a nightmare last night that my TikTok account was deleted.
It was scary because I thought I had a TikTok account for a second.
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Where did Vecna go for 8 years?
On a diet.
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You’re so short that when you get angry at people for making fun of you, all you can do is bite their ankles.
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Roses are red, violets are blue.
A face like yours, belongs in a zoo.
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I was thinking of getting rid of the beard.
But I’ve had it for so long that at this point, it makes the decisions for me.
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What do you call cheese that’s not yours?
Nacho cheese.
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Who wants a day just for fools?
When you’re surrounded by them all year.
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What is the result of an art competition?
A draw.
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I’m not afraid to crack a joke about Uranus.
It’s a gas!
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Why did the husband refuse to watch Dr. Strange for a movie night with his wife?
He had Stranger Things to watch.
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I sued the airport the other day because they didn’t want to give me my luggage.
Guess what, I lost the case.
😄 😄 😄
I promised my new girlfriend the sun, the moon and the stars...
So, I took her to the planetarium.
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