What do you call a dog that herds watermelons?
A Melon Collie.
😄 😄 😄
I was in a bar some days ago when a beautiful girl asked me, “What do you do?”
I replied, “I race motorcycles.”
She asked further, “Do you usually win many races?”
I said, “No, the bikes are much faster than I am.”
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I used to have a job collecting leaves.
I was raking it in.
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What does a minion mum call her offspring?
Mini-one.
😄 😄 😄
Is your dad an alien because you’re out of this world?
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Knock! Knock!
“Who’s there?”
“Anita.”
“Anita, who?”
“Anita piece of that birthday cake!”
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I met a girl last night and after so flirting asked her if she wanted to come home with me to play “Doctor”.
So when we got to my place, I left her sitting on my couch with a bunch of outdated magazines on the end table for 2 1/2 hours before I came out of my bedroom.
😄 😄 😄
There are three guys on a boat, and they have four cigarettes, but nothing to light them with. What do they do?
They throw one cigarette overboard, and the boat becomes a cigarette lighter.
😄 😄 😄
Knock! Knock!
“Who’s there?”
“Witches.”
“Witches, who?”
“Witches the best way out of this neighborhood?”
😄 😄 😄
What would you call a cute and sassy donut?
Glazing adoughrable.
😄 😄 😄
You might be a civil engineer if you think that when people around you yawn, it’s because they did not get enough sleep.
😄 😄 😄
Yo mama so hairy when she auditioned for Planet of the Apes they made her pack leader.
😄 😄 😄
Love is like farting.
If you have to force it, it’s going to end in a mess.
😄 😄 😄
Chuck Norris once saw Spider-Man on a wall and then folded his newspaper.
😄 😄 😄
Harry Styles’ birthday is coming up.
And I’m so Styles-ed for it.
😄 😄 😄
Why can’t two ghosts make out?
They go right through each other.
😄 😄 😄
Why was the UN concerned when the waiter dropped Thanksgiving dinner?
Because it meant the fall of turkey, the ruin of grease, and the breakup of china.
😄 😄 😄
How did the barber win the bike race?
He took a short cut.
😄 😄 😄
I’m studying Human Anatomy.
It’s a polite way of saying “I’m watching people”.
😄 😄 😄
On 4 July, what do you get when you put a photo of America in a locket?
Then it becomes in-da-pendant.
😄 😄 😄
