What did the client say when they saw the final ad concept?
βCan we make the logo bigger?β
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What do you call an amazing day up a mountain?
A peak experience.
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What did the Elf on the Shelf put on his face after shaving?
Elftershave.
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What does a bass guitar and a baseball have in common?
People cheer when you hit them with a bat.
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Good morning!
Coffee is my morning superhero.
It doesnβt wear a cape, but it sure knows how to rescue me from the grumpiness monster every day.
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Why doΒ registered nurses bring a red crayon to work?
In case, they have to draw blood.
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Being vegan is so easy that I literally just stare at the sun and Iβm satisfied.
Thanks, photosynthesis.
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How do gingers like their gossip?
Spicy.
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I heard about a blue tick hound who was feeling down.
His bark was way worse than his bite.
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What do you call a line of men waiting to get a haircut?
A barberqueue!
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Why should you always be kind to registeredΒ nurses?
Remember that they choose your catheter size.
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How did the English major define microtome on his biology exam?
An itsy bitsy book.
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My girlfriend has a great job down at the brewery despite having only one leg.
Sheβs in charge of the hops.
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What did the alien think of the anti-gravity book?
He couldnβt put it down!
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If I wanted to be taller, Iβd just wear higher shoes. This is the height I want to be at.
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What do diarrhea and eye colour have in common?
It runs in your genes.
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Where does a lobster keep its clothes?
In the clawset.
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A Vietnamese farmer was working in the rice paddy field when he sees his son running to him.
βFather, father look,β the kid points to a newspaper and says excitedly. βThe Americans have gone to the moon.β
The farmer drops his plow and asks excitedly, βAll of them?β
βNo, just 3,β replies the kid.
βDamn it!β The father shakes his head in disappointment and goes back to the field.
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Red ship hits blue ship...
Sailors marooned.
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Did you know Teslas donβt have that new car smell?
They have more of an Elon Musk.
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