Now that I’m teaching remotely, I can’t reward my students for their good work.
So I tell them to visit my website for cookies instead.
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Why did the dyslexic mathematician go to rehab?
He was struggling with addition.
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It’s so cold, I chipped my tooth on my soup.
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I wonder how NASA felt after Apollo 11’s success.
I bet they were over the moon.
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What did 0 say to 8?
Nice belt!
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Knock! Knock!
“Who’s there?”
“Erin.”
“Erin, who?”
“Erin as fast as I could but couldn’t catch the leprechaun.”
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My friend showed me his huge comic book collection.
It was quite a Marvel.
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Did you know that China has a policy where a certain amount of pandas must live in the country?
To be fair, it’s the bear minimum.
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A wife tells her husband, “I’m just going to pop over to Jenny next door for 5 minutes, don’t forget to stir the curry every half an hour!”
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Knock! Knock!
“Who’s there?”
“Venice.”
“Venice, who?”
“Venice Halloween candy coming out?!”
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Yo mama’s so fat that even the Death Star couldn’t blow her up!
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Caitlin Jenner just signed a deal with Marvel.
She is going to be in the new Ex-Men film.
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When do ghouls and goblins cook their victims?
On Fry Day.
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Why did Chuck Norris wear knee pads?
He never liked Bruised Knee.
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At 11 am, my Boss asking me the status of work from home.
But at that time, I am trying to remember who is he.
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I wish I had as much hope as the guy driving the ice cream truck around in February.
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Bit nervous about my maths exam.
Think my chances of passing it are 40-40.
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Dating me is like IKEA furniture.
Not well put together, slightly unstable but just aesthetic enough to show your friends.
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How do you know that you play WoW too often?
When your microwave does “DING!” and you reply “GZ!”.
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Math teacher: “If I have 5 bottles in one hand and 6 in the other hand, what do I have?”
Student: “A drinking problem.”
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