Best Jokes



Funny Jokes


What did the client say when they saw the final ad concept?

β€œCan we make the logo bigger?”

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What do you call an amazing day up a mountain?

A peak experience.

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What did the Elf on the Shelf put on his face after shaving?

Elftershave.

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What does a bass guitar and a baseball have in common?

People cheer when you hit them with a bat.

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Good morning!

Coffee is my morning superhero.

It doesn’t wear a cape, but it sure knows how to rescue me from the grumpiness monster every day.

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Why doΒ registered nurses bring a red crayon to work?

In case, they have to draw blood.

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Being vegan is so easy that I literally just stare at the sun and I’m satisfied.

Thanks, photosynthesis.

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How do gingers like their gossip?

Spicy.

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I heard about a blue tick hound who was feeling down.

His bark was way worse than his bite.

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What do you call a line of men waiting to get a haircut?

A barberqueue!

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Why should you always be kind to registeredΒ nurses?

Remember that they choose your catheter size.

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How did the English major define microtome on his biology exam?

An itsy bitsy book.

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My girlfriend has a great job down at the brewery despite having only one leg.

She’s in charge of the hops.

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What did the alien think of the anti-gravity book?

He couldn’t put it down!

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If I wanted to be taller, I’d just wear higher shoes. This is the height I want to be at.

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What do diarrhea and eye colour have in common?

It runs in your genes.

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Where does a lobster keep its clothes?

In the clawset.

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A Vietnamese farmer was working in the rice paddy field when he sees his son running to him.

β€œFather, father look,” the kid points to a newspaper and says excitedly. β€œThe Americans have gone to the moon.”

The farmer drops his plow and asks excitedly, β€œAll of them?”

β€œNo, just 3,” replies the kid.

β€œDamn it!” The father shakes his head in disappointment and goes back to the field.

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Red ship hits blue ship...

Sailors marooned.

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Did you know Teslas don’t have that new car smell?

They have more of an Elon Musk.

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