What side of an Ewok has the most hair?
The outside.
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After 10 years of marriage I still keep a photo of my wife in my wallet that I can look at for motivation when times get hard.
I think, “If I can survive 10 years of marriage to this I can survive anything.”
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If two avocado are “avocados”.
Then shouldn’t three avocado be “avocatres”, and four be “avoquatro”, and five be “avocinco”?
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Why is the moon so grumpy?
It’s just going through one of its phases.
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On 4 July, what do you get when you put a photo of America in a locket?
Then it becomes in-da-pendant.
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What did the blue crayon say to the yellow crayon?
“This isn’t cray-on you.”
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Yo hairline is so bad when you look in the mirror yo hairline looks like an endangered specie.
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What did Neptune say to Pluto when they fought?
Comet me, bro.
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Those who study the moon are real optimists, they tend to look at the bright side.
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Yo daddy so ugly yo momma first saw him at the zoo.
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What do you call the rocks kids covered in chocolate?
Coco pebbles.
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They say that two things in life are unavoidable: death and taxes.
At least death only happens once!
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Knock! Knock!
“Who’s there?”
“Howard.”
“Howard, who?”
“Howard you like to be fooled on April Fools’ Day?”
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Two blondes in Las Vegas were sitting on a bench talking.
One blonde says to the other, “Which do you think is farther away Florida or the moon?”
The other blonde turns and says, “Hellooooooo, can you see Florida?”
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Two gnolls are sitting in the woods eating lunch.
One says, “Boy, do I hate my wife.”
And the other one says, “Then just eat the salad.”
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What do you call a fish who raps?
Swim Shady.
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Have you ever tried to eat a clock?
It’s very time-consuming.
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Working from home becomes more difficult when your bed and YouTube constantly beg for your attention.
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It’s so cold, I farted snowflakes.
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My wife said, “Did you know butterflies only live for one day?”
I said, “That’s a myth.”
She said, “No, it’s definitely a butterfly.”
😄 😄 😄
