Doctor: “Who’s my next patient?”
Nurse: “Mr. Ghost.”
Doctor: “Tell him I can’t see right now.”
😄 😄 😄
At the request of my wife, I have placed an order for a box of ants to be shipped from Italy.
She said we need more Rome ants in our relationship.
😄 😄 😄
Why did the vampire strike out?
He used the wrong bat.
😄 😄 😄
Did you know, some fleas spend their lives jumping for the moon?
Lunar-tics.
😄 😄 😄
Who invented King Arthur’s Round Table?
Sir Cumference.
😄 😄 😄
My addiction to helium is out of control, but...
No one is taking my cries for help seriously.
😄 😄 😄
What do you call a camel with no hump on a Wednesday?
Humph-rey.
😄 😄 😄
Yo mamma is so ugly that not even Ewoks will let her into their clan.
😄 😄 😄
Donut worry. Be happy!
😄 😄 😄
A man goes to a library and asks for a book on suicide.
The librarian stares at him for a while, then asks, “Who’s gonna bring it back?”
😄 😄 😄
Why was the mermaid couple so indecisive?
Because they both refused to wear the pants in the relationship.
😄 😄 😄
My ex-girlfriend is like the square root of -1,... she’s imaginary.
😄 😄 😄
I got a haircut today, but I’m never going back to that barber.
I asked for one hair cut, and he cut all of them.
😄 😄 😄
What did the burger do when he ate his enemy the hot dog?
He relished it.
😄 😄 😄
President Roosevelt once rode his horse 100 miles.
Chuck Norris carried his the same distance in half the time.
😄 😄 😄
Husband: “I got a package with bullets and Arabic note today.”
Wife: “Idiot! These are suppositories and the note from the doctor!”
😄 😄 😄
Guess what makes the moon so cold?
She’s always deflecting the sun’s rays!
😄 😄 😄
I asked my German friend how many planets are in our Solar System.
Surprisingly he said, “Nine.”
😄 😄 😄
Why did the toilet paper trip on the door mat?
It ran out.
😄 😄 😄
Why are there gingerbread men but not gingerbread women?
It’s a pastryarchy.
😄 😄 😄
