Why do Polish people have ski at the end of their names?
Because they can’t spell toboggan.
😄 😄 😄
Yo mama’s so hairy that when she was born she looked like Chewbacca!
😄 😄 😄
What do the San Francisco 49ers playoff run and the Civil War have in common?
Both of them were ended by a man named Sherman.
😄 😄 😄
I’ve been listening to Harry Styles’ new music recently and I must say...
He has gotten a lot better ever since he went in the other direction.
😄 😄 😄
A townie was looking for the May Day Fair, he stopped and asked Jethro, ”Will this road take me to the May Day Fair?”
“Oh no,” said Jethro. “You’ll have to go by yourself!”
😄 😄 😄
Why is an alien like a collection of famous actors’ autographs?
They’ve both come from the stars.
😄 😄 😄
Relationships are a lot like algebra.
Have you ever looked at your X and wondered Y?
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My favorite April Fools’ Day prank is pretending I’m going to leave my couch.
On my way out.
😄 😄 😄
Sometimes I feel like Stephen Hawking in the morning.
Because I can’t get out of bed.
😄 😄 😄
Did you hear about the blue alien that landed on Earth?
He had an out of this world.
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You’re so old George Washington cut down your Christmas tree.
😄 😄 😄
Good friends are like toasters.
If you throw them down the stairs, they probably won’t make toast for you anymore.
😄 😄 😄
Knock! Knock!
“Who’s there?”
“Ice cream.”
“Ice cream, who?”
“Tobias some nice cold ice cream, you need some money.”
😄 😄 😄
Remember the sign at McDonald’s that said, “We do not accept bills over $20.”
Trust me, if we had more than $20, we wouldn’t be eating at McDonald’s.
😄 😄 😄
Your head is so big that you need to be careful to stay away from needles and pins, so it doesn’t pop.
😄 😄 😄
Why do frogs love St. Patrick’s Day?
They’re always wearing green.
😄 😄 😄
Two yokels were driving to the next village’s May Day Fair.
They came to a sign that said: May Day Fair Left.
So they turned around and went home.
😄 😄 😄
What do Indians, Pilgrims, and Puritans have in common?
The letter ‘I’.
😄 😄 😄
I’m in a really boring geology class.
I dust can’t sand it.
😄 😄 😄
How do you know that workers in factory that produces M&M’s are protesting?
They start painting the m letters upside-down.
How do you know that workers in factory that produces M&M’s are protesting really hard?
They paint the m letters on the wrong side of the chocolate candy.
😄 😄 😄
