Why is everyone so tired on April 1st?
Because they just finished a 31-day march.
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What was the name of the frog’s favorite crisp dish?
Croaky bacon.
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What do you call a group of nurses who are musicians?
Band aides.
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People gave the sun a rating.
It was only one star.
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What do you call a snowman made of yellow snow?
The “inedible snowman”.
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What’s a Christian’s favorite flower?
Jesus Rose.
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How many university graduates does it take to change a light bulb?
One, but it may take up to seven years!
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What do you say when someone dies between February 19th and March 20th?
Rest in Pisces.
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Remember the guy who used to be addicted to Thanksgiving leftovers?
He had to quit cold turkey.
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Why hasn’t anyone ever seen ghost poop?
Because it’s invisible.
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September is Alzheimer’s awareness month.
Did anyone else forget?
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Why did the cactus join the orchestra?
Because it could play the prickle-o.
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Why don’t Alpacas like singing with background music?
They prefer to sing alpacapella.
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Have you heard about the Italian Bigfoot?
The spag-yeti.
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How many bassists does it take to change a lightbulb?
None, because the keyboard player can do it with his left hand.
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If a crab worked in a pizza parlor, which station would it work?
The crust station.
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What’s a pickle’s life philosophy?
Never a dill moment.
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Want to hear something that’ll make you smile?
Your face muscles.
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What did the girl say to Bald Bill when they were engaged?
She said, “God was generous to you. He gave you a lovely face and room for one more.”
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What is software?
It’s the part of a computer you can’t hit.
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