Did you know, you can make any dish an autumn dish by adding one simple step?
Try dropping it on the floor.
It really gives it that fall flavor.
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The economy’s so bad the other day I saw a Mormon with only one wife.
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How do you get a D&D player to go out with you?
You ask them for a d8.
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Why are there gingerbread men but not gingerbread women?
It’s a pastryarchy.
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What’s the worst thing about having a big nose?
Birds are always perching on it!
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What number do you call in a Taco emergency?
Nine Juan Juan.
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What do you call a chocolate Easter Bunny that was out in the sun too long?
A runny bunny.
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Knock! Knock!
“Who’s there?”
“Aye Dunnup.”
“Aye Dunnup, who?”
“Eugh, you dunna poo!”
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Pepito tells his dad, “Dad I got a 10 in school today.”
Pepito’s father asks him delighted, “How wonderful, Pepito! In which area did you get that qualification?”
Pepito responds, “I got 5 in spelling and 5 in history.
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Did you hear about the worst faith healer ever?
He was so bad, a man in a wheelchair got up and walked out.
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What’s a pun’s best trait?
His pun-ctuality.
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I tried tap dancing.
But I had to give it up as I kept falling into the sink.
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Yo momma so dumb when y’all were driving to Disneyland she saw a sign that said “Disneyland left” so she went home.
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Where do dead bowling pins go?
To the pit of doom!
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A distraught senior citizen phoned her doctor’s office.
“Is it true,” she wanted to know, “that the medication you prescribed has to be taken for the rest of my life?”
“Yes, I’m afraid so,” the doctor told her.
There was a moment of silence before the senior lady replied, “I’m wondering, then, just how serious is my condition because this prescription is marked ‘NO REFILLS’.”
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What’s long and green and only shows up once a year?
The St. Patrick’s Day parade.
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Why did Goofy feel sad for his calendar?
He heard its days were numbered.
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Why did the coyote cross the road?
It was chasing the roadrunner.
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What do American Elves on the Shelf drink?
Minniesodas.
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Why are people in wheelchairs always getting taken advantage of?
Because they’re easy to push around and never stand up for themselves.
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