I got my Mom a scratchcard for Mother’s Day, but I couldn’t resist scratching it off myself. And would you believe it, it was a $10,000 winner!
I’m sure she’ll like the flowers.
😄 😄 😄
Police have arrested a gang of corn flakes that they allege committed a spree of armed robberies throughout the metro area.
A Police spokesman described them as cereal offenders.
😄 😄 😄
Who tells the best egg jokes?
Comedi-hens.
😄 😄 😄
What was the trickiest question on a diabetes website?
It asked if I would accept cookies.
😄 😄 😄
A gnome walks into a bar and the bartender starts a tab for him. The gnome keeps pounding them away, one after the other.
After a few hours, the gnome decides to call it a night.
The bartender hands him his tab when the gnome realizes he left his wallet at home.
He turns to the bartender and says, “Sorry, I’m a little short.”
😄 😄 😄
Why don’t Mexicans use ChatGPT?
Cos they’ll never cheat on an essay.
😄 😄 😄
A photographer from a well know national magazine was assigned to cover the fires at Yellowstone National Park. The magazine wanted to show the heroic work of the fire fighters as they battled the blaze.
When the photographer arrived, he realized that the smoke was so thick that it would seriously impede or make it impossible for him to photograph anything from ground level.
He requested permission to rent a plane and take photos from the air. His request was approved and arrangements were made. He was told to report to a nearby airport where a plane would be waiting for him. He arrived at the airport and saw a plane warming up near the gate.
He jumped in with his bag and shouted, “Let’s go!”
The pilot swung the little plane into the wind, and within minutes they were in the air.
The photographer said, “Fly over the park and make two or three low passes so I can take some pictures.”
“Why?” asked the pilot.
“Because I am a photographer,” he responded, “and photographers take photographs.”
The pilot was silent for a moment.
Finally he stammered, “You mean you’re not the flight instructor?”
😄 😄 😄
Why did the daughter start eating donuts?
Because her mother said, “You better eat hole foods.”
😄 😄 😄
A man goes to the doctor and says, “Doctor, doctor! I think I'm going deaf.”
And the doctor says, “Can you describe the symptoms.”
And he says, “Yes, Homer is fat and Marge has blue hair.”
😄 😄 😄
Doctor: “I’ve got some bad news and some really bad news. The bad news is you only have a week to live.”
Patient: “What could be worse news than that?”
Doctor: “I’ve been trying to contact you for the last 6 days.”
😄 😄 😄
Hi, is your name Sony?
Because I’m Spider-Man, and baby, I’m all yours...
😄 😄 😄
Why do toadstools grow so close together?
They don’t need mush-room.
😄 😄 😄
If bats could talk, what would they say about the coronavirus?
Now you know how it feels to have your world turned upside down!
😄 😄 😄
Yo mama has so much hair on her upper lip it looks like Ewoks having a party when she talks.
😄 😄 😄
When is it bad luck to be followed by a black cat?
When you’re a mouse.
😄 😄 😄
Yo mama’s so hairy that she gets mistaken for Chewbacca’s cousin.
😄 😄 😄
I always like to keep a jar of peanut butter in the car when I travel on a busy freeway.
Just in case there’s a traffic jam.
😄 😄 😄
The ocean was feeling blue.
So I told her to sea the brighter side.
😄 😄 😄
My wallet is like an onion.
Whenever I open it my eyes tear up.
😄 😄 😄
Why won’t my motorbike run?
Because it’s two tired.
😄 😄 😄
