How do you make any salad into a Caesar salad?
Stab it twenty-three times.
😄 😄 😄
What do you call an alligator wearing a vest?
An investigator.
😄 😄 😄
Why did the donut go to the dentist?
To get a filling.
😄 😄 😄
Where do hockey players go to get another uniform?
New Jersey.
😄 😄 😄
For back to school shopping, a kid went to a stationery shop.
Kid: “Hi, I’d like to buy a calculator.”
Staff: “That’s nice, come back when you’re ready to buy a calcu-now.”
😄 😄 😄
Guess what?
It’s morning!
😄 😄 😄
Why don’t Alpacas like singing with background music?
They prefer to sing alpacapella.
😄 😄 😄
Diet day 1:
I removed all the fattening food from my house.
It was delicious.
😄 😄 😄
You are so fat when you walk with your friends it looks like they are orbiting you.
😄 😄 😄
Yo mama’s so fat that the Kaminoans couldn’t use her as a host for clones since they couldn’t pierce her skin deep enough to draw blood.
😄 😄 😄
It’s so hot out that I baked lasagna in my mailbox.
😄 😄 😄
The Oxford comma is necessary, critical and essential.
😄 😄 😄
What did the man tell his friends who asked for his secret to preparing the turkey for Thanksgiving?
“Easy, I tell the bird he is going to die.”
😄 😄 😄
What is a Mormon missionary’s favorite type of car?
A convertible.
😄 😄 😄
I met a witch at the restaurant the other day, guess what she ordered?
Spook-eti.
😄 😄 😄
What do you call a goat with a beard?
A goatee.
😄 😄 😄
Which part of a computer is Spider-Man’s favorite?
The web cam.
😄 😄 😄
Warning!
Birthday donuts will make your clothes shrink!
😄 😄 😄
I just dropped my phone in the bath.
Now it’s syncing.
😄 😄 😄
One friend took the elevator while the other took the staircase. Guess what?
Both were raised differently.
😄 😄 😄
