So all the animals gathered and having a party. Everybody is drinking and talking and having a good time.
Suddenly, a chameleon get to the middle of the room, “Check this out,” and start changing color of his skin for a minute straight.
Once he done he say, “Lets see any of you do the same.”
Suddenly, octopus appear from the crowd and says, “Hold my beer, hold my beer, hold my beer, hold my beer, hold my beer, hold my beer, hold my beer, hold my beer.”
😄 😄 😄
What is a feminist’s favorite type of candy?
Her-Shes.
😄 😄 😄
At one army base, the annual trip to the rifle range had been canceled for the second year in a row, but the semi-annual physical fitness test was still on as planned.
One soldier mused, “Does it bother anyone else that the army doesn’t seem to care how well we can shoot, but they are extremely interested in how fast we can run?”
😄 😄 😄
A preschool teacher asked her students in class, “Who can count from one to ten?”
Little 3-year-old Timmy swiftly raised his hand, “I can!” and started counting, “One, two, three four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten!”
The teacher is impressed, “Well done Timmy! Who taught you that?”
“My uncle Bobby!” Timmy said.
“Can you count past ten?” The teacher asked Timmy.
“That’s easy!” Timmy continued, “Jack, Queen, King…”
😄 😄 😄
My pet turtle died.
I’m not upset—just shell-shocked.
😄 😄 😄
Yo mama so tall she tripped in America and landed in Australia.
😄 😄 😄
What’s the hardest part of the roofing business?
The overhead.
😄 😄 😄
What’s the difference between a black man and a white man?
As much as you see with your eyes!
😄 😄 😄
Why should you bake bacon on an asteroid on its way to Earth?
It’s meteor.
😄 😄 😄
Knock! Knock!
“Who’s there?”
“CIA.”
“CIA, who?”
“CI ate your last doughnut!”
😄 😄 😄
Chuck Norris was in a knife fight.
The knife lost.
😄 😄 😄
What do you call a bacon-wrapped dinosaur?
Jurassic Pork.
😄 😄 😄
Why did the slave go to college?
To pick up his master’s degree.
😄 😄 😄
We live in a society where pizza gets to your house before the police.
😄 😄 😄
Your mama so old she farts dust!
😄 😄 😄
Yo momma’s so hairy she looks like she has two Ewoks in a headlock.
😄 😄 😄
Why do hockey rinks have curved corners?
Because if they were 90 degrees, the ice would melt.
😄 😄 😄
How did Darth Vader know what Luke was getting for his birthday?
He felt his presents!
😄 😄 😄
What do you call a snowman made of yellow snow?
The “inedible snowman”.
😄 😄 😄
What is Spider-Man’s favorite road?
Peter parkway.
😄 😄 😄
