Best Jokes



Funny Jokes


An Irishman walks into NASA and asks:

β€œCan Ireland my spaceship on the moon?”

πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„


Your mama is so hot I gotta wear oven mitts to touch her.

πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„


What do you call a dragon with no wings?

Draggin.

πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„


I failed my python breeding class because of a late assignment.

My homework ate my dog.

πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„


Working from home. Day 1:

This’ll be fantastic! I get to stay inside and eat toast on a paper towel.

Day 8:

Engages in conversation with a lamp...

πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„


Why are ghosts terrible liars?

You can see right through them!

πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„


I asked Uranus about its love life.

And it replied, β€œIt’s complicated, I’m in a gas-tly relationship.”

πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„


I used my credit card to buy 1-ply toilet paper.

And now I’m paying for it.

πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„


If bats could talk, what would they say about the coronavirus?

Now you know how it feels to have your world turned upside down!

πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„


A man walks into a bar, then goes to the bathroom. He comes out, goes to the bartender.

He says, β€œYou’ve got a great place, but my buddy was here last night, and he said you have golden urinals. Where are they?” The bartender turns to the band and yells, β€œFrank, I’ve got a lead on the guy who ruined your sax!”

πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„


If a spider can bite you and make you a Spider-Man, can you bite me so I can be your man?

πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„


What types of plants do you get after you plant kisses?

Tulips.

πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„


How does the Easter Bunny feel after Easter?

Eggs-hausted.

πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„


What sound does a turkey’s phone make?

β€œWing, wing.”

πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„


Here in Portugal we call bad jokes β€˜dry jokes’. Do you want to see an example?

The desert.

πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„


One eye told the other, β€œBetween you and me, something smells.”

πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„


You make me hap-pea.

πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„


Why did the spaceship bring a snack to Uranus?

It wanted to have a gas-tro picnic.

πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„


Why was the book of incantations useless?

Because the author failed to do a spell-check.

πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„


I said to my doctor, β€œI wake up thinking I’m a penguin, and by the end of the day I believe I’m an arctic fox.”

He told me I was bipolar.

πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„


















© 2022-2024 jokes.best