Why didn’t the zombie go to school?
He felt rotten!
😄 😄 😄
I thought I saw a squirrel on the roof.
But it was just a roofing nut.
😄 😄 😄
Why do one-legged people like beer?
Because it’s made with hops.
😄 😄 😄
Why did the influenza virus break up with its girlfriend?
She was too cold to him.
😄 😄 😄
Blessed be your morning, o holy one!
😄 😄 😄
What is Spider-Man’s favorite online music app?
Spot-a-fly.
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A marvelous morning to you, my friend.
You are someone who never quits, mainly because you never start.
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Why don’t pumpkins get into arguments?
Because they have no stomach for fighting.
😄 😄 😄
The Leaning Tower of Pisa is in Italy.
So it’s italicized!
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Have you heard of the golfer who opened a colonoscopy clinic?
He does 18 holes a day.
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Chuck Norris doesn’t admire the stars.
They admire him.
😄 😄 😄
What did one hip replacement say to the other?
“You crack me up!”
😄 😄 😄
Where do birds meet for coffee?
In a Nest-cafe.
😄 😄 😄
Babies born March 31st are the easiest to prank on April Fools.
They were literally born yesterday.
😄 😄 😄
Chhattisgarh Minister: “The voters will get electric shock if they don’t vote/press the button for Congress.
Villagers: “At least, electricity will come under this pretext.”
😄 😄 😄
A horse walks into a bar.
The bartender says, “Hey.”
The horse said, “Nah, just beer, please. I just ate.”
😄 😄 😄
How do dogs make sandwiches?
With purebred.
😄 😄 😄
Dating me is like adopting a hungry kid.
😄 😄 😄
Next time someone complains about Millennials, remind them which generation linoleumed over all those beautiful hard-wood floors.
😄 😄 😄
TIL that, by law, you have to turn your headlights on when it’s raining in Sweden.
Who the hell is going to let me know when it’s raining in Sweden?!
😄 😄 😄
