What do you say when it’s the end of the month?
Oct-over.
😄 😄 😄
I just got fired from my new job at the pharmacy.
Apparently “drug free workplace” and “free drug workplace” are not the same thing at all.
😄 😄 😄
The boss always insisted that only Abdul should serve his coffee, but yesterday, this conversation happened.
Boss: “Abdul, since the last 8 years you have brought me coffee filled to the brim without spilling even a drop. How do you manage that over these stairs?”
Abdul: “Sir, just before I climb up the stairs, I take a big sip. As I get upstairs, I put it back.”
Today is Abdul’s farewell party.
😄 😄 😄
What do you call a dog with 2 legs?
Snoop Dogg.
😄 😄 😄
Yo mama so poor when she found a penny she thought she had hit the lottery.
😄 😄 😄
Why did the bluebird get kicked out of the forest?
Because it was a bird of pray.
😄 😄 😄
What did the snowman say to the birthday girl?
Have an ice day!
😄 😄 😄
If anyone has no family and will be alone on Thanksgiving, please let me know.
I really need to borrow some chairs from you.
😄 😄 😄
How do you make a skeleton laugh?
Tickle their funny bones.
😄 😄 😄
How is bacon like southern Europe?
It’s got a lot of Greece in it.
😄 😄 😄
Where does a kangaroo go that can’t hop?
Hopspital.
😄 😄 😄
Arnold Schwarzenegger no longer kills people and now only kills bugs.
He’s an exterminator.
😄 😄 😄
Two attorneys went into a diner and ordered two drinks. Then they produced sandwiches from their briefcases and started to eat.
The owner became quite concerned and marched over and told them, “You can’t eat your own sandwiches in here!”
The attorneys looked at each other, shrugged their shoulders, and then exchanged sandwiches.
😄 😄 😄
What do you call a cantaloupe in a swimming pool?
A watermelon.
😄 😄 😄
Do you like Mexican food? Because I want to wrap you in my arms and make you my BAE-rito.
😄 😄 😄
What would the Terminator be called in his retirement?
The Exterminator.
😄 😄 😄
Why hasn’t anyone ever seen ghost poop?
Because it’s invisible.
😄 😄 😄
What did the Rams fan do when his team won the Super Bowl?
He turned off his XBox.
😄 😄 😄
I sued the airport the other day because they didn’t want to give me my luggage.
Guess what, I lost the case.
😄 😄 😄
It’s so hot out that I walked through a car wash to remember what rain felt like.
😄 😄 😄
