The thing people overlook most of the time is their noses.
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What do you call a man with no body and no nose?
Nobody nose.
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Yo momma’s so old she changed Yoda’s first diaper.
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Why did the lawyer keep bringing popcorn to the courtroom?
They wanted to be a salty attorney.
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Yo mama so small she has to wear a torn napkin as a dress.
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What did the mom say when her kid dropped their hot dog?
It could always be wurst!
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When Chuck Norris looks into the mirror it breaks because nobody gets between Chuck Norris and Chuck Norris.
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Why did the eyeglasses walk into the classroom quietly?
They didn’t want to make a spectacle.
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There is no chin behind Chuck Norris’ beard. There is only another fist.
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Bula decides it’s time to become a businessman, so after reading many chicken jokes, it seems like a chicken farm would be the best idea.
Said and done. First, buy 100 chickens, after the second month another 100, and keep it for a whole year.
After a year, at the New Year’s Eve party, he meets Johnny, who used to say the best chicken jokes before.
Johnny: “Well, how’s the business going?”
Bula: “Bad brother, sorry about everything!”
Johnny: “Why?”
Bula: “I don’t have any chickens anymore!”
Johnny: “Good god, why?”
Bula: “If I know, I think I’m doing something wrong. Either I plant them too deeply or don’t water them enough, but one doesn’t raise the hen.”
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What did Bruce Banner say to Spider-Man?
Don’t bug me!
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Never break someone’s heart, they only have one.
Break their bones instead, they have 206 of them.
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How many Manchester United fans does it take to change a lightbulb?
Seven. One to change it, five to moan about it, and Ferguson to say if the ref had done his job in the first place the light bulb would have never gone out.
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What does a polite mushroom say?
“Thank you very mush!”
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Working for a marketing agency is a real ad venture.
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What’s the favorite genre of music on Uranus?
Space Opera.
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What do accountants suffer from that ordinary people don’t?
Depreciation.
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Why do shoppers feel like cranberry sauce on Black Friday?
They get bruised, battered and squished into pulp trying to get to the bargain bin.
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She got fired from the hot dog stand for putting her hair in a bun.
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How many guitar players does it take to change a light bulb?
Five. One to do it, and four to say “I can do that”.
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