What do you call a Chinese man with one leg?
Tai Wan Shu.
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You’ll never hear Uranus complain.
Because it’s got a good atmosphere about it.
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A blonde buys two horses and she can’t tell them apart.
So she asks the farmer next door what to do. He says to cut one of their tails off.
So she does. But then the other horse’s tail gets caught in a bush and rips off.
So she can’t tell them apart again.
She asks the farmer for advice a second time. He tells her to cut one of the horses’ ears.
So she does. But then the other horse gets its ear ripped in a barbed wire fence. She is still confused.
She asks the farmer what to do. He tells her to measure them.
She comes back and says, “The white horse is 2 inches taller than the black horse!”
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How do construction workers party?
They raise the roof.
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What do you call a bass player who broke up with his girlfriend?
Homeless.
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What’s it like to be kissed by a vampire?
It’s a pain in the neck.
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Yeah, I like NFTs...
Nachos,
Fajitas &
Tacos.
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While I was at the gym, I decided to hop on a treadmill.
People started giving me weird looks, so I started jogging instead.
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What did the constipated hot dog say?
Muuussttuurrrdd!!
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What would you call Israel if it disappeared away?
Wasreal.
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What’s the difference between men and pigs?
Pigs don’t turn into men when they drink.
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Thought I saw my first super hero today. He was sprinting down the street wearing a cape.
Turns out, he hadn’t paid for his haircut.
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Why are jokes about suicide bombers are not funny.
Well for starters, their delivery is just everywhere.
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Your ears are so big if I blew a hairdryer in your face you’d take off.
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It’s always coming but never comes, can you guess what it is?
Tomorrow.
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Chuck Norris can blow up things, without a bomb.
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Where do Yetis go to dance?
To a snow ball.
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Why did the Oreo cookie go to the dentist?
Because he lost his filling.
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Why did Mickey Mouse go to outer space?
To find Pluto.
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Yo mama’s so fat that carbonite was encased in her.
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