How did the 30-year-old gardener celebrate their birthday?
By receiving a thirtree as a gift!
😄 😄 😄
Someday, when I’m a pun-sioner, I’d love to live in a pun-thouse on a pun-insula.
😄 😄 😄
He goes up to a lady and holds out his phone to her.
He: “Would you mind holding this for a second?”
He: “...Does my phone feel light to you?”
She: “I guess?”
He: “I knew it it’s been feeling light all day, and I just can’t figure out.”
He: “...I figured it out!”
She: “What?”
He: “It’s missing your number.”
😄 😄 😄
I really don’t understand why people tell 9/11 jokes.
What happened on the ninth of November?
😄 😄 😄
What do you call a pig thief?
A hamburglar.
😄 😄 😄
Teacher: “Class, choose between money and brain.”
Akpos: “I’d go for the money!”
Teacher: “I’d go for brain!”
Akpos: “Well, everybody goes for what he doesn’t have.”
😄 😄 😄
Mushrooms are the most virtuous of fungi...
they have the best morels.
😄 😄 😄
What do you call a flu that became a musician?
Achoo-bacca.
😄 😄 😄
What did the alien think of the anti-gravity book?
He couldn’t put it down!
😄 😄 😄
You should know that no one understood it was an April Fools’ joke.
No one expected you to have a sense of humor.
😄 😄 😄
I stopped by grandmother’s house and I’m so impressed. She had all the Halloween decorations out. There were cobwebs and bugs in the windows along with a skeleton on the couch.
She’s 89 and always does a great job, but there was no answer when I knocked. I guess I’ll stop by again in a few months... if I have time.
😄 😄 😄
Knock! Knock!
“Who’s there?”
“Not as old as.”
“Not as old as, who?”
“Still not as old as you!”
😄 😄 😄
I had a roommate in college who was such a bad cook, his mac and cheese caught fire.
What a flaming casserole!
😄 😄 😄
AI will never take away my job.
Only an idiot would do my job.
😄 😄 😄
You’re so fat that the only job interview question they ask is if you can fit through the door.
😄 😄 😄
People are usually shocked when they find out I’m not a very good electrician.
😄 😄 😄
Your head is so big that the rest of your body will never get a tan.
😄 😄 😄
Virtual background on Zoom?
But, we need virtual outfits!
😄 😄 😄
Your mama so short she needs a ladder to touch the ground.
😄 😄 😄
Where does the moon go to get its qualifications?
Moon-iversity!
😄 😄 😄
