Went to a pancake restaurant, and asked if my dinner would be long.
The waiter replied, “No, sir, round.”
😄 😄 😄
Hot dog, it’s your birthday!
Let’s be Frank, you’re probably planning to party your buns off, so go ahead – don’t be a weenie!
Relish every moment of your celebration!
😄 😄 😄
It’s so hot, that you could actually cook a full English breakfast on my forehead.
😄 😄 😄
If you’re looking for Spider-Man, you can always find him on the web.
😄 😄 😄
A little boy asked his father, “Daddy, how much does it cost to get married?”
And the father replied, “I don’t know, son, I’m still paying for it.”
😄 😄 😄
Knock! Knock!
“Who’s there?”
“Donut.”
“Donut, who?”
“Donut worry, be happy!”
😄 😄 😄
I changed my password to “incorrect”, so anytime I forget and enter the wrong thing, the computer tells me what it is.
😄 😄 😄
Yo mama has so much hair on her upper lip it looks like Ewoks having a party when she talks.
😄 😄 😄
Day 121 at home and the dog is looking at me like, “See? This is why I chew the furniture!”
😄 😄 😄
Officer: “Do you know why I stopped you?”
Blonde: “Because I didn’t pull out of the donut shop too fast?”
😄 😄 😄
Knock! Knock!
“Who’s there?”
“Olive.”
“Olive, who?”
“Olive the stuffing too!”
😄 😄 😄
Jesus walked on water.
Chuck Norris swims through the land.
😄 😄 😄
What did Mario say when he saw the Alpaca?
Don’t-a worry it’s a false-a llama!
😄 😄 😄
Why did the elephant hide behind the strawberry bush?
The elephant and the ant were playing hide and seek.
😄 😄 😄
Today I donated a watch, a phone and $500 to a poor guy.
You can’t know the happiness I felt as I saw him put his knife back in his pocket.
😄 😄 😄
The worst thing about Friday the 13th is Monday the 16th.
😄 😄 😄
What is the longest word in the English language?
“Smiles”. Because there is a mile between its first and last letters.
😄 😄 😄
Knock! Knock!
“Who’s there?”
“Wanda.”
“Wanda, who?”
“Wanda know what you’re getting for Christmas?”
😄 😄 😄
What does the sun drink out of?
Sun-glasses.
😄 😄 😄
What do you call a skeleton who just had hip surgery?
Hip-ster!
😄 😄 😄
