What dessert do they serve in Super Mario?
Princess Peach Pie.
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What did Dr Martin Brenner take to freshen his breath?
Experi-mints!
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Knock! Knock!
“Who’s there?”
“Owl.”
“Owl, who?”
“Owl aboard.”
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What ever happened to the Fried Shrimp emoji?
It was tempurary.
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Geese fly in a V-formation for aerodynamics, and when the lead goose gets tired he switches out his position.
But one side of the V is almost always longer than the other. Do you know why?
There’s more geese on that side.
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What sound do porcupines make when they kiss?
Ouch!
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What’s an alien’s favorite treat?
Martian-mallows!
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Last night I was but by a bloodsucker from the moon.
Damn lunatics!
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What did the sign on the baker’s door read when she wanted to be alone?
Donut disturb.
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Did you know that Tom Hiddleston and Taylor Swift’s relationship is over after just three months because he wanted it to be more public?
Guess she wanted it to be more Loki.
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What is blue and lies under a mushroom?
Smurf poop.
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How did the cowboy save so much money?
His horse gave him a couple of bucks every day.
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Got a B in my computer programming class.
Call that a C++.
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I may be short, but short people can wear heels, ugly just can’t be fixed.
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Boyfriend: “I’d really like to have enough money to buy a white tiger!”
Girlfriend: “What on Earth would you do with a white tiger?!”
Boyfriend: “Who said I’d get a white tiger? I just want that much money!”
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Knock! Knock!
“Who’s there?”
“Canoe.”
“Canoe, who?”
“Canoe you buy me a donut?”
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Knock! Knock!
“Who’s there?”
“Owl.”
“Owl, who?”
“Owl I can say is “Knock, knock”!”
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Guess what I found in the creepy old professors’ closet?
Narnia business
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When he was ten years old Warren Buffett called 911 to report a car had been in an accident near his local grocery store.
It was his first experience with a market crash.
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It’s pretty easy to choose your favorite type of bird.
Flamingos have a leg up on all the rest.
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