Why do Stormtroopers only have iPhones?
Because they couldn’t find the Androids they were looking for.
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Guess what?
It’s morning!
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What time did Goofy have a dentist appointment?
Tooth Hurty.
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Yo mama so fat her preferred pronoun is they.
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Little Johnny was sitting in class one day and the teacher was talking about life.
She asks him: “Little Johnny, what do you want your wife to be like?”
He: “Like the moon.”
The teacher: “That’s such a beautiful answer because it's calm and peaceful”.
Little Johnny: “No, because it appears at night and disappears in the morning.”
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If two avocado are “avocados”.
Then shouldn’t three avocado be “avocatres”, and four be “avoquatro”, and five be “avocinco”?
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Why did the alien bring a gift to Uranus?
It wanted to show its appreciation for the atmosphere.
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What is messy coder’s blood group?
Type O.
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Why do ghosts make the best cheerleaders?
Because they have spirit.
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What does an avocado say to its pit?
Without you, I’m empty inside.
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My 2 year old sister’s stinky feet were smelling like cheese.
My dad was wondering what happened, so I told him that she had chee-toes.
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Did you hear how the zombie bodybuilder hurt his back?
He was dead lifting.
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At first, I really hated the large pimple on my nose.
But it’s grown on me.
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Did you hear about the people who were sick in June from eating bacon past its use-by date?
It was mayhem.
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What pronouns does an ambulance prefer?
Wee/woo.
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Yo mama so fat when she walked out in August in her yellow sun dress and the kids said, “Mommy, it’s time for school!”
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Two mushrooms were talking about politics.
One mushroom said, “I think that women shouldn’t be allowed to vote.”
The other said, “That’s a shiitake.”
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Yo mama is so fat she did the Kessel run instantly because she is on both sides of it.
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How do you identify a Santa in a classroom?
It is simple, check who’s erasing his notes when the teacher is cleaning the board.
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What’s the worst thing about having a big nose?
Birds are always perching on it!
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