Yo mama’s so fat she crashed the Fortnite servers.
😄 😄 😄
I’m very familiar with paranormal activity.
I keep getting ghosted.
😄 😄 😄
President Roosevelt once rode his horse 100 miles.
Chuck Norris carried his the same distance in half the time.
😄 😄 😄
How do you start a Mexican bedtime story?
Juans upon a time.
😄 😄 😄
What is the name of a skinny Pakistani cow?
A moo-slim.
😄 😄 😄
Chuck Norris doesn’t use OFF!
Mosquitos instinctively know not to bite him.
😄 😄 😄
When the moon is being super grumpy, its parents turn to each other and say, “Gibbous strength!”
😄 😄 😄
How do you wish a mushroom a happy birthday?
Happy birthday to a real fungi!
😄 😄 😄
How can you tell a police horse from a normal horse?
The police horse goes “Neigh-naw-neigh-naw-neigh-naw”.
😄 😄 😄
What do you call a flamingo that flew into a wall?
A flamingstop.
😄 😄 😄
As an MD, I gave my mother’s sister a flu shot.
Does that make me an auntie-vaxxer?
😄 😄 😄
I know everything there is to know about sushi.
You could say I’m an a-fish-onado.
😄 😄 😄
What do you get if you cross a turtle with a giraffe and a kangaroo?
A turtle neck jumper.
😄 😄 😄
Why was the blue mold fired from the cheese factory?
Because it was too blue.
😄 😄 😄
What is the only thing that can cure a sick donut?
An antidought!
😄 😄 😄
Knock! Knock!
“Who’s there?”
“Zoom.”
“Zoom, who?”
“Zoom did you expect.”
😄 😄 😄
Why do blue people make bad singers?
They’re always feeling blue.
😄 😄 😄
My small friend always argues that vanilla, chocolate and strawberry are the three best ice cream flavors.
I think he has a Neapolitan complex.
😄 😄 😄
An old country gentleman sent his son off to engineering school.
Four years later, upon his son’s return, he asked him what he had learned at college.
The son replied, “Pi r square.”
The dad exclaimed, “You didn’t learn nothin’, boy! Pie are round, bread’s square.”
😄 😄 😄
Why did the medium cross the road?
To speak to the other side.
😄 😄 😄
