When the red panda got tired, it decided to take a koala-ty nap.
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How do you call a cow in Ramadan?
A Mooslim.
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Your sister is so fat her Apple Watch is an iPad Pro on a rope.
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Why didnβt the vampire bite Taylor Swift?
Because she had bad blood.
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What do you call a snake with no clothes on?
Snaked.
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What do you call a fish with no eyes?
Fsh.
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A guy in a plane stood up and shouted, βHIJACK!β
All the passengers got scared.
From the other end of the plane, a guy shouted back, βHI JOHN!β
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Did you hear about the baseball player who can spot a fast-food restaurant from miles away?
He leads the league in Arby eyes.
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Knock! Knock!
βWhoβs there?β
After a very long pause.
βJava.β
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Where do pumpkins hold meetings?
In the gourdroom.
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A mother noticed her little daughter praying.
βPlease, God,β the little girl kept saying, βBless my father and my mother and make Melaka the capital city of Malaysia.β
βWhy did you make such as strange request?β the mother asked.
βBecause thatβs what I wrote in my Geography test this morning!β
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Where do chess grandmasters keep their pet snakes?
In a chesst.
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A yam and a hot dog are having a heart-to-heart.
Yam: βCan I be candied with you?β
Hot dog: βIn that case, let me be frank.β
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Why does a pitcher raise one leg when he throws the ball?
If he raises them both, heβd fall down.
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Yo mamma so hairy that Han Solo mistaken her for Chewbackaο»Ώ.
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Thanksgiving is the day men start getting in shape... to play Santa Claus.
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Youβre so ugly...
You are the reason Star Wars takes place in a galaxy far far away!
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How many Twitter users does it take to change a lightbulb?
30. One to change the bulb, and 29 to cancel it for being brighter than they are.
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Whatβs the definition of an optimist?
A bassist player with a mortgage.
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What goes βOh, Oh, Ohβ?
Santa walking backwards!
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