What does the youngest flower child say?
“Last bud not least!”
😄 😄 😄
Yo daddy is so dumb the computer said “press any key to continue”, and he was looking for the any key BUTTON.
😄 😄 😄
A telephone rang.
“Hello! Is your phone number 444-4444?”
“Yes, it is,” came the reply.
“Thank Goodness! Could you call 911 for me? I super-glued my finger to the phone.”
😄 😄 😄
Husband: “Happy Anniversary honey! I was just remembering how happy we were 30 years ago.
Wife: “You idiot, we did not know each other 30 years ago.”
Husband: “That’s why we were so happy!”
😄 😄 😄
Broccoli looks into the trunk of his car.
He sees an extra tire and exclaims, “Oh! I have a-spar-a-gus!”
😄 😄 😄
Knock! Knock!
“Who’s there?”
“August.”
“August, who?”
“A gust of wind knocked me over!”
😄 😄 😄
Knock! Knock!
“Who’s there?”
“Pat.”
“Pat, who?”
“Pat on your coat—we’re going to the St. Patty’s Day parade.”
😄 😄 😄
Are aliens from invasion movies actually British?
Because all they do is colonize.
😄 😄 😄
Just because someone found out how to connect a keyboard and a portable radio together doesn’t make them a nerd
That would be stereotyping.
😄 😄 😄
My boyfriend and I always laugh about how competitive we are.
But I laugh harder.
😄 😄 😄
You so dumb you think intermittent fasting is a kind of speedwork.
😄 😄 😄
Before Instagram, I used to waste so much time sitting around having to imagine what my friends’ food looked like.
😄 😄 😄
Never fight a math teacher. You’ll always be outnumbered.
😄 😄 😄
As the animals left the ark, Noah told them to go forth and multiply.
After some time, Noah came upon two snakes who were just lying there sunning themselves...
So Noah asked them, “Why aren’t you multiplying?”
The snakes replied, “We can’t, we’re adders.”
😄 😄 😄
Teacher: “If your father has $10, and you
asked for $5, how much will your father
have?”
Akpos: “$10.”
Teacher: “You don’t know maths.”
Akpos: “You don’t know my father!”
😄 😄 😄
Working from home is weird. I got so sick of sitting at my desk, I wrote my last blog from my kids’ trampoline.
The time-on-page was pretty good, but the bounce rate was really high.
😄 😄 😄
What happened when the pun misbehaved in school?
He was pun-alized with detention.
😄 😄 😄
Why do ghosts make the best cheerleaders?
Because they have spirit.
😄 😄 😄
Why did the bearded man decline the invitation to a charity event?
It was a fund razor.
😄 😄 😄
Knock! Knock!
“Who’s there?”
“Norma Lee.”
“Norma Lee, who?”
“Norma Lee I don’t eat this much!”
😄 😄 😄
