Jokes on Chuck Norris



Enjoy our team's carefully selected Chuck Norris Jokes. Laugh yourself and share the funniest jokes with your friends!



Chuck Norris Jokes


How Chuck Norris plays golf?

He stares at the ball and the ball goes into the hole to hide.

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Chuck Norris once soaked his beard in carbonated water.

The result is now sold as Red Bull.

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Chuck Norris looked directly at the sun today...

And the sun got so scared it hid behind the moon.

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Chuck Norris invented the Giraffe when he roundhouse kicked a spotted Horse in the chin.

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A man taunted Chuck Norris by holding a bag of potato chips in front of him and saying, β€œBetcha can’t just one!”

Chuck Norris subsequently ate the chips, the bag, and the man whole.

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The moon is just a football Chuck Norris kicked up when he was a kid.

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Brett Favre can throw a football over 50 yards.

Chuck Norris can throw Brett Favre even further.

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Chuck Norris’ first job was as a paperboy.

There were no survivors.

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Chuck Norris was the fourth wise man, who gave baby Jesus the gift of beard, which he carried with him until he died.

The other three wise men were enraged by the preference that Jesus showed to Chuck’s gift and arranged to have him written out of the bible.

All three died soon after of mysterious roundhouse-kick related injuries.

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Chuck Norris eats gummy bears and poops out grizzly bears.

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Many years ago Chuck Norris and a brown bear had a fight.

The loser had to go live in the North Pole.

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Usually, when kids go to sleep they sleep with a teddy bear.

Chuck Norris sleeps with an actual bear.

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President Roosevelt once rode his horse 100 miles.

Chuck Norris carried his the same distance in half the time.

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In high school, teachers had to raise their hand to speak to Chuck Norris.

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Chuck Norris is so powerful that when he goes fishing, the fish are so scared they drown.

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What do you call a man who keeps vomiting?

Chuck.

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Before he forgot a gift for Chuck Norris, Santa Claus was real.

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Chuck Norris can squeeze orange juice out of a lemon.

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Chuck Norris once ate a Rubik’s Cube and pooped it out solved.

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When Chuck Norris turned 18, his parents moved out.

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There is no chin behind Chuck Norris’ beard. There is only another fist.

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When Chuck Norris was a baby, he farted for the first time, that is when the big bang first happened.

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When Chuck Norris’s parents had nightmares, they would come to his bedroom.

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When the Tooth fairy comes to your house, she takes your tooth and gives you money.

When Chuck Norris comes to your house, he breaks your tooth and takes your money.

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Chuck Norris recently had the idea to sell his pee as a canned beverage.

It’s now called Red Bull.

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Chuck Norris doesn’t read books.

He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.

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