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Halloween Jokes: Funny and Hilarious!



Enjoy our team's carefully selected Halloween Jokes. Laugh yourself and share the funniest jokes with your friends!



When do vampires like horse racing?

When it’s neck and neck.

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My wife and I are going to be Carl and Ellie from Disney’s Up for Halloween.

I’ll dress up as an old guy and she’ll dress up as a tombstone.

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I saw a ghost at the hair salon. Can you guess what she was doing?

Getting a scare-cut!

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Last Halloween there was a knock on the door.

I looked out of the window and then shouted upstairs to my wife, β€œHoney there’s a witch at the door. What shall I do?”

She shouted back, β€œJust give her some candy and tell her to get lost.”

My mother-in-law hasn’t spoken to me since.

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I’m not saying my wife is ugly... but on Halloween she went to tell the neighbors to turn their TV down and they gave her some candy.

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Do zombies eat popcorn with their fingers?

No, they eat the fingers separately.

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Why are there gates around cemeteries?

Because people are dying to get in.

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Why didn’t the skeleton like the Halloween candy?

He didn’t have the stomach for it!

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What do you call a witch’s garage?

A broom closet.

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When is it bad luck to be followed by a black cat?

When you’re a mouse.

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Why are ghosts terrible liars?

You can see right through them!

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Why don’t mummies have friends?

Because they’re too wrapped up in themselves.

πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„





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