Enjoy our team's carefully selected Halloween Jokes. Laugh yourself and share the funniest jokes with your friends!
When do vampires like horse racing?
When itβs neck and neck.
π π π
My wife and I are going to be Carl and Ellie from Disneyβs Up for Halloween.
Iβll dress up as an old guy and sheβll dress up as a tombstone.
π π π
I saw a ghost at the hair salon. Can you guess what she was doing?
Getting a scare-cut!
π π π
Last Halloween there was a knock on the door.
I looked out of the window and then shouted upstairs to my wife, βHoney thereβs a witch at the door. What shall I do?β
She shouted back, βJust give her some candy and tell her to get lost.β
My mother-in-law hasnβt spoken to me since.
π π π
Iβm not saying my wife is ugly... but on Halloween she went to tell the neighbors to turn their TV down and they gave her some candy.
π π π
Do zombies eat popcorn with their fingers?
No, they eat the fingers separately.
π π π
Why are there gates around cemeteries?
Because people are dying to get in.
π π π
Why didnβt the skeleton like the Halloween candy?
He didnβt have the stomach for it!
π π π
What do you call a witchβs garage?
A broom closet.
π π π
When is it bad luck to be followed by a black cat?
When youβre a mouse.
π π π
Why are ghosts terrible liars?
You can see right through them!
π π π
Why donβt mummies have friends?
Because theyβre too wrapped up in themselves.
π π π