Enjoy our team's carefully selected Movie Jokes. Laugh yourself and share the funniest jokes with your friends!
Several aristocrats are having a party on a cruise ship, when the captain comes down and interrupts.
βI have some good news and some bad news,β he says. βWhich do you want to hear first?β
βGood!β everyone says in unison.
The captain says, βWe won eleven Oscars!β
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Quick way to stop feeling lonely:
Watch a horror movie in the dark.
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Why is everyone obsessed with that new horror movie?
Like, I was driving today and this is the third time someone has rolled down their window and yelled to me βHey! Watch It!β.
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A Man was watching TV one day, when all of a sudden he began screaming in terror.
βDonβt go in the Church!β he cried. βItβs a trap!β
βMom, is Dad watching a horror movie?β his son asked.
βNo, dear, heβs watching our wedding video,β the mom replied.
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Two goats are eating garbage.
The first one finds a roll of film and eats it.
When heβs done, the second one asks, βHow did you like the movie?β
The first one responds, βIt was OK, but I liked the book better.β
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Why didnβt the butter take the part in the new movie?
Because it didnβt like the roll it was being offered.
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Why didnβt the skeleton go see the scary movie?
He didnβt have the guts.
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Did you see the movie about the hot dog?
It was an Oscar Wiener.
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What is Spider-Manβs favorite Disney movie?
Peter Pan.
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The Superman 2 movie and a documentary about the Moon Landing had accidentally been scheduled at the same time for the Lunar Background part of the movie lot.
They argued about who should get to use it first, but then they remembered...
Neil before Zod.
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Are aliens from invasion movies actually British?
Because all they do is colonize.
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Yo mommaβs so hairy, when she went to the movie theater to see Star Wars, everybody screamed and said, βITβS CHEWBACCA!β
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People often ask me how I manage to smuggle chocolate into movie theaters.
Letβs just say, I have a few Twix up my sleeve...
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Guess who Dracula brings with him to movie premieres?
His ghoul-friend!
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Three pregnant women are chatting in a cafe.
Heather says, βI got my ultrasound done yesterday. Iβm pregnant with triplets!β
βI got mine done yesterday too,β says Linda. βIβm pregnant with septuplets!β
βI think Iβll get my ultrasound done next week,β says Martha.
The three women chat some more.
Finally, Heather says, βI got Disney+ last month. The first movie I watched on it was βThe Three Little Pigsβ.β
βI got Disney+ last month too,β says Linda. βThe first movie I watched on it was βSnow White and the Seven Dwarfsβ.β When Martha hears this, she instantly goes pale.
βItβs okay if you donβt have Disney+,β says Heather.
βI do have it,β says Martha. βItβs just that the first movie I watched on it was β101 Dalmatiansβ.β
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Yo Mama's appetite is so huge, she uses a truck to carry her popcorn to the movies.
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