Best Jokes (2)



A king had ten wild dogs. He used them to torture and kill any minister that misguided him.

A minister once gave an opinion which was wrong and which the king didn’t like at all. So he ordered that the minister to be thrown to the dogs.

The minister said, β€œI served you loyally ten years, and you do this?”

The king was unrelenting.

Minister pleaded, β€œPlease give me ten days before you throw me to the dogs.”

The king agreed.

In those ten days the minister went to the keeper of the dogs and told him he wanted to serve the dogs for the next ten days. The guard was baffled, but he agreed.

So when the ten days were up, the king ordered that the minister be thrown to the dogs as sentenced.

When he was thrown in, everyone was amazed at what they saw. The dogs were wagging their tails playing with the condemned minister and licking his feet.

The king was baffled at what he saw.

β€œWhat happened to the dogs?!” He growled.

The minister then said, β€œI served the dogs for only ten days, and they didn’t forget my service. Yet I served you for ten years, and you forgot all at the first mistake.”

The king realised his mistake and...

Replaced the dogs with crocodiles.

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What’s the lazy baker’s favorite recipe?

Loaf bread.

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What did Mario say to Princess Peach?

β€œWhat doesn’t kill you makes you smaller.”

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What’s God’s favorite beer?

Busch Light.

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Chuck Norris made the llama extinct.

Never spit in his face.

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A Sunni and a Shia Muslim have a child together.

They name her Sushi.

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If I had a dollar for every time someone called me a boring nerd...

I’d have a mean daily income of $5.64 with a standard deviation of $1.25

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One day you can be a morning person, but today is not that day.

It’s the afternoon.

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There are no losers when eating hot dogs.

Only wieners.

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What is it called when your crush has a crush on you too?

Imagination.

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Knock! Knock!

β€œWho’s there?”

β€œHoo.”

β€œHoo, who?”

β€œAre you an owl?”

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Yo momma is so ugly she made an onion cry.

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What is the longest word in the English language?

β€œSmiles”. Because there is a mile between its first and last letters.

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Lady says to pharmacist, β€œWhy does my prescription medication have 40 side effects?”

Pharmacist replies, β€œCause that’s all we’ve documented so far.”

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What job on a construction site is best suited to a skeleton?

Cranium operator.

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The paper my student wrote on Tsar Ivan was so bad.

It was tearable.

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Where do hockey players go to get another uniform?

New Jersey.

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What do you call a Puerto Rican construction worker?

A renaissance man.

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What’s a clockmaker’s favorite social media site?

TikTok.

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Why do fat people cause earthquakes?

Because they’re always moving plates.

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