Best Jokes (2)



My Sister works at a pharmacy.

As a pharmasister.

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I found a pebble that looked like a guitar pick.

Must be for rock music.

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Why are mothers the best at Pictionary?

Because mummies know hieroglyphics.

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Yo mama so fat Obi-Wan Kenobi said β€œThat’s no moonβ€”that’s Yo mama!”.

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A good friend of mineβ€”Frankβ€”owns and operates a struggling Hot Dog business.

He recently turned to social media to help boost sales though and is determined to make every post a weiner.

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Why do people wear shamrocks on St. Patrick’s Day?

Because real rocks are too heavy.

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Dating me is like dating your therapist who is also your mom and is also very disappointed in you.

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From my viewpoint, it looks like it sucks to be up there.

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Friend 1: β€œDoes she have a boyfriend?”

Friend 2: β€œYes, a cute, strong and clever one.”

Friend 1: β€œWhat’s the name?”

Friend 2: β€œJohn, Michael and Bill.”

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Do you know the reason all the bat boys in major league baseball are replaced when they turn 18?

Because otherwise you’d have to call him Batman.

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Knock! Knock!

β€œWho’s there?”

β€œTank.”

β€œTank, who?”

β€œYou’re welcome!”

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Why Mark Zuckerberg’s mom is the best mom in the world?

Because she is the only mom in the world, who says, β€œSon, please focus properly on Facebook and WhatsApp.”

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Helen Keller published 12 books. Her autobiography is particularly inspiring and gives you a new perspective about this world.

The audiobook is absolutely unintelligible though.

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How do we know the IRS likes poor people?

Because they appear to create so many of them.

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I told a joke over a Zoom meeting...

...it wasn’t even remotely funny.

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It’s not that the man did not know how to juggle.

He just didn’t have the balls to do it.

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You so dumb you have to stop during track workouts to ask for directions.

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Why did the gum cross the road?

It was stuck to the chicken’s foot.

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How do you remove the inherent bureaucracy that’s plaguing the donut industry?

Cut out the middle, man.

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If you want to lie in your bed forever, then I might as well just buy you a coffin.

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