What did the doughy wife say to the donut husband?
“Donut talk to me!”
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One company owner asks another, “Tell me, Bill, how come your employees are always on time in the mornings?”
Bill replies, “Easy. 30 employees and 20 parking spaces.”
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We’ve now reached the point in the proceedings when we all get to see the groom shift uncomfortably in his seat and grip the tablecloth.
That’s right. I’ve been asked to give him the drinks bill.
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What’s the National Donut Day theme song?
“Donut Stop Believing”.
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Where does a person with a beard put their beard clippings?
Their shavings account.
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Your mama’s so short, that she has to use a ladder to pick up a dime.
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What did the blonde say when she looked into the box of Cheerios?
“Wow! Donut seeds!”
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Your mama so short, she went to see Santa and he told her to get back to work.
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Can anyone recommend a good bank account? Mine’s run out of money...
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A woman is approaching a very small Bistro.
She calls the barkeeper and when he is standing in front of her she asks him in a very seductive way to come nearer.
Then she bends over the desk and starts to caress his beard.
“Are you the boss of this Bistro?” she asks and touches tenderly his cheek.
“Ehhh. No. Not at all!” the barkeeper replies.
“Would you please call him here?” the lady asks and gently touches his hair.
“Oh, I’m very sorry, but no. Impossible!” the barkeeper sighs who has fun with this situation.
“Would you then please do me a great favor?” the lady asks and follows gently the line of his lips.
“Of course. Whatever you wish!” the barkeeper moans.
“I want to leave a message for the boss,” she says and lets first one, then two fingers slip into his mouth which he gently sucks on.
“What message?” the barkeeper asks with two fingers in his mouth.
“Please tell him that there is no paper, nor soap, nor towel on the lady’s toilet.”
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Yo mama so fat, she uses the highway as a slip and slide.
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My girlfriend accused me of cheating.
I told her she was starting to sound like my wife.
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What do you call a pumpkin that can slam-dunk a basketball?
Michael Gourdan.
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An ergonomic workspace is really important while working from home.
That’s why my couch now has a Pilates ball as a footrest.
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Why is Christmas just like a day at the office?
You do all the work and the fat guy with the suit gets all the credit.
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The nose was very tired because it kept running.
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One eye told the other, “Between you and me, something smells.”
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Your father must have been the greatest thief in history.
He stole all the stars in the sky and put them in your eyes.
And heh, I guess it runs in the family. ’Cause you stole my heart.
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Don’t fight with me over chocolate because I am not someone to be truffled with!
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A golden rule of the wife:
There isn’t a problem in the world that couldn’t be created.
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