Call me a dentist, because you are too sweet.
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What’s a feminist’s least favorite food?
Gender rolls.
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What’s a terrorist’s favorite day in November?
Bomb fire night.
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An engineer, a physicist and a mathematicians have to build a fence around a flock of sheep, using as little material as possible.
The engineer forms the flock into a circular shape and constructs a fence around it.
The physicist builds a fence with an infinite diameter and pulls it together until it fits around the flock.
The mathematicians thinks for a while, then builds a fence around himself and defines himself as being outside.
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What do you call a Jewish fish?
Isra-eel.
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Why did the bearded man’s shaving product business flop?
Because of the razor-thin margins.
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What is Dr. Pepper’s PhD in?
Fizz-ics.
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Why do otters sleep on their backs?
Because it’s otterly blissful.
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Why do people wear shamrocks on St. Patrick’s Day?
Because real rocks are too heavy.
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Shibram once borrowed 100 INR from his neighbour Rambabu promising to repay on the following Sunday.
When that repayment day came, he borrowed 100 INR from another neighbour—Shyambabu—to repay Rambabu’s loan.
Next Sunday he again borrowed from Rambabu to pay Shyambabu’s loan.
This thing went on for some weeks.
Then one day Shibram called his two neighbours and explained that, “Look, for the last few weeks I’ve been taking money from one of you and giving it to the other alternately. Now it’s enough. Let me get rid of this. Why don’t you guys do it yourselves?”
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What goes black, white, black, white, black, white?
A panda rolling down a hill.
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My girlfriend hated my obsession with Japanese food.
Sushi left me.
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I don’t trust people who don’t like mushrooms.
Clearly, they are of low morel fiber.
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I started my new job as a bingo caller last night and halfway through calling the numbers I farted loudly.
My boss immediately came over and whispered in my ear, “Don’t do that again.”
“Sorry,” I said, “It must be the nerves.”
“Fair enough,” he replied, “But there was no need to hold the microphone to your ass.”
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My twin brothers dressed up as a bird this Halloween, guess what they said?
Trick or tweet.
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What do you call a cute donut?
Adoughrable.
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Which ankle did Spider-Man twist after tripping on the curb?
Ankle Ben.
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My neighbor rang my door bell at 3 AM this morning. Can you believe it! 3 AM!!
Luckily I was still up playing the drums.
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Why do aliens always spill their tea?
Because they have flying saucers!
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What do you call it when Shrek falls off a boat?
Ogreboard.
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