Best Jokes (2)



What do bees use to build roads?

Nec-tar.

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So all the animals gathered and having a party. Everybody is drinking and talking and having a good time.

Suddenly, a chameleon get to the middle of the room, β€œCheck this out,” and start changing color of his skin for a minute straight.

Once he done he say, β€œLets see any of you do the same.”

Suddenly, octopus appear from the crowd and says, β€œHold my beer, hold my beer, hold my beer, hold my beer, hold my beer, hold my beer, hold my beer, hold my beer.”

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Whenever I see a man with a beard, mustache and glasses, I think

β€œThere’s a man who has taken every precaution to avoid people doodling on photographs of him.”

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Looking for a boyfriend in engineering.

The odds are good, but the goods are odd.

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What do you get if you trip over a PokΓ©mon?

A bulbous sore.

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Knock! Knock!

β€œWho’s there?”

β€œArt.”

β€œArt, who?”

β€œArt you going to a birthday party?”

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What do you call a claim that a guy could eat a foot long hot dog in two bites?

Hard to swallow.

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Being vegan is so easy that I literally just stare at the sun and I’m satisfied.

Thanks, photosynthesis.

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I threw away my can opener.

It was more of a can’t opener.

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Mauricio Pochettino and Erik Ten Hag have each been given advent calendars and need to be shown the door.

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The artist was great.

He could always draw a crowd.

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What do you call a Chinese lobster?

A crust-asian.

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Can’t see an end. I have no control and I don’t think there’s an escape. I don’t even have a home anymore.

Think it’s time for a new keyboard.

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Chuck Norris can punch you in the back of the face.

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What did the shop owner say when he accidentally ordered too much chocolate and marshmallows?

We’ve got a rocky road ahead of us...

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Our local politician just opened a neighborhood pharmacy store.

He is now a piller of the community.

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In most cartoons I watched, characters were able to come back from near death by having water splashed on their face.

On a completely unrelated note, I am no longer allowed at funerals...

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Did you hear about the Pinterest user who tried to cook a recipe they found on the site?

Let’s just say they added a new pin to their recipe board β€œOrder Takeout!”.

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A man was fishing in the jungle.

After a while another angler came to join him.

β€œHave you had any bites?” asked the second man.

β€œYes, lots,” replied the first one, β€œbut they were all mosquitoes.”

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Knock! Knock!

β€œWho’s there?”

β€œBaby owl.”

β€œBaby owl, who?”

β€œBaby owl see you later.”

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