Best Jokes (2)



Ohayo means β€œgood morning” in Japanese.

And that is the most interesting thing about Ohio.

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Your momma’s hair is so short she curls the hair with a grain of rice.

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Knock! Knock!

β€œWho’s there?”

β€œHoo.”

β€œHoo, who?”

β€œAre you an owl?”

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Don’t forget you are what you eat.

I need to eat a skinny person.

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Two rabbits were being chased by a pack of wolves.

The wolves chased the rabbits into a thicket.

After a few minutes, one rabbit turned to the other and said, β€œWell, do you want to make a run for it or stay here a few days and outnumber them?”

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The good news is Elon Musk is turning Twitter headquarters into a homeless shelter.

The bad news is it can only house 280 characters or less.

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When I was born I was so surprised I didn’t talk for a year and a half.

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If trees produced Wi-Fi, we would be planting them everywhere.

Too bad they only produce oxygen.

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How do you communicate with a fish?

You drop it a line.

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β€œWhy did you act like that at Thanksgiving dinner?”

β€œI yam what I yam.”

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What is a teddy bear’s favorite Thanksgiving food?

Stuffing.

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I like birthdays, but I think too many can kill you.

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Why shouldn’t you ask Yoda for money?

He’s a little short.

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Little Johnny was sitting in class one day and the teacher was talking about life.

She asks him: β€œLittle Johnny, what do you want your wife to be like?”

He: β€œLike the moon.”

The teacher: β€œThat’s such a beautiful answer because it's calm and peaceful”.

Little Johnny: β€œNo, because it appears at night and disappears in the morning.”

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You’re gourdgeous!

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Why did the vegetarian cross the road?

Because she was protesting for the chicken.

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What planet is next to Uranus?

Poopiter.

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As an archeologist, I organized a party with my friend to help me excavate the lower leg of a T-Rex fossil.

It’s going to be quite a shin dig.

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Daisy: β€œWhy do you have two different colored socks on? One’s blue, but the other is green.”

Little Johnny: β€œI’m not sure. It’s weird. There was another pair exactly like this one at home.”

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When the teacher got frustrated because the students weren’t paying attention to the class about Isaac Newton, he exclaimed, β€œDon’t you understand the gravity of this situation!”

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