In Cairo there is a large hole in the ground left over from a construction project that was never finished. Every day several people unexpectedly walk right into the hole and are badly injured.
By the time the ambulance arrives and brings the victims to the hospital, it is often too late to save them. To solve this dangerous predicament, those with the highest positions in the Egyptian government hold a meeting.
“What shall we do about this hole plaguing our people?” Asks the first speaker.
Everyone is hesitant to answer, but then a man raises his hand.
“It is quite an easy solution,” he exclaims. “We keep an ambulance right next to the hole, so if people fall in, they can be pulled out and brought to the hospital right away.”
The council agrees and decides to implement this new solution the following day. However, with traffic there is still not enough time to get the victims to the hospital. So they hold another meeting.
“Having an ambulance ready is still not enough to save our people, we must do more.”
A different man raises his hand and speaks, “If getting to the hospital in time is the problem, then we must build a hospital next to the hole.”
Everyone claps seeing that they’ve found the solution.
But then the urban development chair speaks in response to this proposal, “The land next to the hole is simply not big enough,” he says, and the crowd stops clapping. “It seems we are back at step 1.”
In the back of the room a man stands and says with much confidence, “I have got it! We shall bring a truck full of dirt to the site of the hole, and we will fill it up.”
The council is ecstatic clapping for the man.
“...then we dig another hole next to the hospital.”
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Your forehead is so big that it made Mona Lisa smile.
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Went to a hot dog convention hoping to meet some women.
But it turned out to be a sausage fest.
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Did you hear about the paint catapult that won the competition?
It won with flying colors.
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Fourteen mushrooms were sitting at a lunch table. One more asked to join.
One of them said, “Sorry there is not mush-room.”
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Somebody walks into an ice cream parlor and asks, “What flavors do you have?”
The attendant says, “Over there on the signs on the wall, you’ll see them all.”
Client goes, “Ehm, well I’ll have a cone with two scoops of ‘Mondays Closed’.”
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Yo daddy so bald Mr. Clean got jealous.
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What did the egg say to the frying pan?
You crack me up.
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Why did the otter cross the road?
To show the possums that the impossible could be done.
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A person at the store asked me if doughnuts are healthy.
I don’t know, but I never met a sick one in my entire life.
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Your mama’s so short that she does pull-ups on a staple.
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Me: “Hello, 911? I want to report a hit-and-run.”
Dispatcher: “What was the make and model of the vehicle?”
Me: “It was a Lamborghini Silhouette.”
Dispatcher: “How do you spell that?”
Me: “Huh!? Sorry, I mean it was a BMW Z4.”
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A lumber camp is looking for a lumberjack.
The next day, a skinny person arrives at the camp with an axe. The head lumberjack looks at the little small guy and instructs him to go away.
“Give me a chance to show you what I’m capable of,” the skinny guy pleads.
“See that massive redwood over there?” asks the head lumberjack. “Cut it down with your axe.”
The man runs towards the tree, and in five minutes he’s at the lumberjack’s door.
“I cut the tree down,” the man says.
“Where did you learn to chop down trees like that?” asks the lumberjack, who can’t believe his eyes.
“In the Sahara Forest,” the small man adds.
“You are referring to the Sahara Desert,” says the lumberjack after interrupting him.
“Sure! That’s what they’re calling it these days!”
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Your mama so hot when Electra and Haspiel saw her, they burned to death.
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The other night, I overheard three very hefty women talking.
Their accent appeared to be Scottish, so I approached them and asked, “Hello, are you three lassies from Scotland?”
One of them angrily screeched, “It’s Wales, Wales, you bloody idiot!”
So I apologized and replied, “I am so sorry. Are you three whales from Scotland?”
And that’s the last thing I remember.
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My therapist says I’m narcissistic.
How can someone who’s perfect be narcissistic?
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What is the propeller used for on an airplane?
Many people do not know this, but is actually for air conditioning.
If you ever get to see it when the propeller stops, the pilot suddenly starts sweating.
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I wasn’t staring, I was just trying to figure out if that was your hairline or the Great Wall of China.
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What city is the feminist capital of the world?
Manhatin’.
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Your boyfriend doesn’t get your fruit puns?
You got to let that mango.
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