Akpos’s wife was busy singing in the bedroom.
Akpos: “You know, my dear, when you sing like that, I just wish you were on a radio.
Wife: “Wow, honey. Am I that good?”
Akpos: “No, at least on a radio I can change the station.”
😄 😄 😄
I just walked past a man in shorts carrying a really long stick and I asked him, “Are you a pole vaulter?”
He said, “No, I’m German, how did you know my name was Walter?”
😄 😄 😄
What did the snowman say to the birthday girl?
Have an ice day!
😄 😄 😄
What’s a Pinterest user’s favorite type of weather?
Rainy, so they have an excuse to stay in and pin all day.
😄 😄 😄
What’s the best thing about Thanksgiving in Bulgaria?
Bulgaria is next to Turkey and Greece.
😄 😄 😄
Why did the atheist cross the road?
He thought there might be a street on the other side, but he wouldn’t believe it until he tested his hypothesis.
😄 😄 😄
Your mama is so short she doesn’t roll dice she pushes them.
😄 😄 😄
Once I got kicked out of a library for being a mime.
Because actions speak louder than words.
😄 😄 😄
What is Harry Potter’s favorite subject in school?
Spelling.
😄 😄 😄
Why is March through May the best time of the month to buy a mattress?
It’s when they are the most springy.
😄 😄 😄
So hot dog, we meat again.
😄 😄 😄
What do you call your co-workers in a boring and depressing workplace?
Melancolleague(s).
😄 😄 😄
What does a duck that’s made of avocado say?
Guac.
😄 😄 😄
If you get kissed by an alpaca, it’s not the end of the world.
It’s the alpaca-lips.
😄 😄 😄
Why did the boy eat his homework?
Because his teacher said it was a piece of cake.
😄 😄 😄
Why was Uranus always mad?
Because it was the butt of everyone’s jokes.
😄 😄 😄
Why was the burger sad?
Because he had the blue cheese.
😄 😄 😄
My nutritionist told me to only eat foods if I could pronounce their ingredients.
I gained a lot of weight after taking organic chemistry.
😄 😄 😄
A fly just fell into my butter.
Now it’s a butterfly.
😄 😄 😄
Paddy has just correctly answered the £500,000 question on “Who Wants To Be a Millionaire”.
He has only one question standing between him and the £1m jackpot.
Presenter: “Which of these birds does not live in a nest?
A) Thrush
B) Kestrel
C) Blue Tit
D) Cuckoo”
Paddy has one lifeline left – phone a friend. He decides to call Murphy, the owner of his local pub.
Murphy agrees and immediately shouts, “It’s a cuckoo!”
Paddy goes with that answer and wins the jackpot.
That evening, Paddy was round at Murphy’s bar celebrating.
He turns to Murphy and says, “Murphy, how did you know that cuckoos don’t live in a nest?”
Murphy answers, “That’s the easiest question you could have had! Everyone knows a cuckoo lives in a clock!”
😄 😄 😄
