What did the chef say to his staff on Labor Day?
“Let’s take a break and cook up some fun!”
😄 😄 😄
When it gets to January, I’m going to overthrow the Government!
It’ll be my New Year’s Revolution.
😄 😄 😄
Why did the circus lion eat the tightrope walker?
He wanted a well-balanced meal.
😄 😄 😄
What is the funniest thing you can say to a bald man?
“You are so bald that I can simply rub your head and start predicting futures!”
😄 😄 😄
Why was the bearded man appointed as the sheriff in the town?
He had a gunslinger beard!
😄 😄 😄
I love you with all my butt.
I would say my heart, but it’s just not as big.
😄 😄 😄
I got a haircut today, but I’m never going back to that barber.
I asked for one hair cut, and he cut all of them.
😄 😄 😄
What sound does a turkey’s phone make?
“Wing, wing.”
😄 😄 😄
Is it proper to eat donuts with your fingers?
No, fingers should be eaten separately!
😄 😄 😄
Why did the bodybuilder read the dictionary?
He was trying to learn how to define muscle.
😄 😄 😄
After a month of dieting, I lost 30 days.
😄 😄 😄
Chuck Norris told his iPhone 2G it was a iPhone 4.
He can now multi task and use face time.
😄 😄 😄
“Hey, are you familiar with Landon?”
“Landon who?”
“Slip, fall then landon DEEZ NUTS!”
😄 😄 😄
Two factory workers are talking.
The woman says, “I can make the boss give me the day off.”
The man replies, “And how would you do that?”
The woman says, “Just wait and see.”
She then hangs upside down from the ceiling.
The boss comes in and says, “What are you doing?”
The woman replies, “I’m a light bulb.”
The boss then says, “You’ve been working so much that you’ve gone crazy. I think you need to take the day off.”
The man starts to follow her and the boss says, “Where are you going?”
The man says, “I’m going home, too. I can’t work in the dark.”
😄 😄 😄
In Jewish doctrine, when does a fetus become a human?
When it graduates from medical school.
😄 😄 😄
A new study shows that dolphins are second in intelligence to man.
I guess that puts women in third.
😄 😄 😄
What was the mermaid doing at the bottom of the sea?
She dropped out of school.
😄 😄 😄
Your mama so short she thought the cracks in the sidewalk were part of a maze.
😄 😄 😄
Wife says to her husband: “Choose, either me or the soccer game!”
He responds: “Give me 90 minutes to think.”
😄 😄 😄
Your momma’s so short she can bungee-jump off a curb!
😄 😄 😄
