What drink goes with a peanut butter and jelly sandwich?
Nut-tea.
😄 😄 😄
My friend had mushrooms during the party.
Now he’s a fun-gi.
😄 😄 😄
What’s the difference between a poorly dressed man on a bicycle and a nicely dressed man on a tricycle?
A tire.
😄 😄 😄
Little Johnny was sitting in class one day and the teacher was talking about life.
She asks him: “Little Johnny, what do you want your wife to be like?”
He: “Like the moon.”
The teacher: “That’s such a beautiful answer because it's calm and peaceful”.
Little Johnny: “No, because it appears at night and disappears in the morning.”
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Why did the astronaut break up with her boyfriend?
Because she needed some space.
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I tried to call Spider-Man, but he was busy browsing in the web.
😄 😄 😄
What do you call it when an elf takes a photo of himself?
Nothing! Elves don’t exist!
😄 😄 😄
Unfortunately, many mushroom puns are in spore taste.
😄 😄 😄
He was seeing the world through blue-tinted glasses.
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To the person who stole my lamp, my coffee and my parrot.
“I don’t know how you sleep at night.”
😄 😄 😄
What sound do you hear when you drop a bomb on a cow?
Cowboom!
😄 😄 😄
Did you hear about the ketchup thief?
He was caught red-handed.
😄 😄 😄
Employee: “Your careers page says the company offers a competitive salary. What does that mean exactly?”
HR: “That means your salary will be competing with your bills.”
😄 😄 😄
What does a volleyball player do at prom?
Spike the punch.
😄 😄 😄
“Oh, I sure am glad to see you,” the little boy said to his grandmother. “Now daddy will do the trick he’s been promising us.”
The grandmother was curious.
“What trick is that?” she asked.
“He told Mommy that he’d climb the walls if you came to visit,” answered the boy.
😄 😄 😄
My wife and I were happy for twenty years.
Then we met.
😄 😄 😄
What do you get when you cross an alien and something white and fluffy?
A martian-mallow!
😄 😄 😄
What do you get when you mix a motorbike with a joke?
A Yamahaha.
😄 😄 😄
What has 10 letters and starts with G-A-S?
Automobile.
😄 😄 😄
I asked Uranus if it wanted to go for a walk.
And it replied, “Sure, just don’t stand behind me.”
😄 😄 😄
