What do you call a hot dog race?
Wiener takes all.
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My friend said he was going to start a feeling-blue club, but I declined.
Iβm more of an upbeat kind of person.
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Where do Yetis go to dance?
To a snow ball.
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Your mama so short she went under Trumpβs wallο»Ώ.
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When weeding, the best way to make sure you are removing a weed and not a valuable plant is to pull on it.
If it comes out of the ground easily, it is a valuable plant.
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Batman goes to a party. To his surprise, he sees that the Joker is there too.
βHe must be up to something,β he thinks. And so he sneaks up behind him, knocks him out, and puts him in a back room.
When walks out, he sees the Joker again.
βHow did he recover so quickly?β Once again he knocks him out and puts him in the back room.
Coming out a third time, he sees the Joker yet again.
βHow can this be?!β Now furious, Batman confronts him, grabs him by his vest, and shouts, βWhat are you doing here, Joker?!β
And he replies, βIβm enjoying this Halloween party, dude!β
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Never trust an electrician with no eyebrows.
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I orchestrate my mornings to the tune of coffee.
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What kind of monkey doesnβt eat bananas?
An orangutan.
π π π
I promised my new girlfriend the sun, the moon and the stars...
So, I took her to the planetarium.
π π π
Coding Rules:
β’ If itβs working, donβt touch it.
β’ Bad code canβt be debugged. Neither can good code.
β’ If you donβt know something, Google it.
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What do Saiyans wear to the beach?
Trunks.
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What sort of room can you eat?
A mushroom.
π π π
I went to a blues concert dressed in all black.
I guess I wasnβt feeling very blues-sympathetic.
π π π
A man is sitting in the bar at a busy airport. A beautiful woman walks in and sits down next to him.
He presumes, because sheβs got a uniform on, sheβs probably an off duty flight attendant.
So he decides to have a go at picking her up by identifying the airline she flies for thereby impressing her greatly.
He leans across to her and says the Delta Airline motto, βWe love to fly and it shows.β
The woman looks at him blankly.
He sits back and thinks up another line.
He leans forward again and delivers the Air France motto, βWinning the hearts of the world.β
Again she just stares at him with a slightly puzzled look on her face.
Undeterred, he tries again, this time saying the Malaysian Airlines motto, βGoing beyond expectations.β
The woman looks at him wearily and says, βWhat the heck do you WANT, moron?β
βAh!β he says, sitting back with a smile on his face, βAmerican Airlines!β
π π π
Last night, I changed a light bulb, crossed a road, walked into a bar and chatted with an Englishman, a Scotsman and an Irishman.
Thatβs when I realized my entire life is a joke...
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Why are two medians in a single data set funny?
Because itβs a co-median.
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A businessman was confused about a bill he had received, so he asked his secretary for some mathematical help.
βIf I were to give you $20,000, minus 14%, how much would you take off?β, he asked her.
The secretary replied, βEverything but my earrings.β
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My wife gave birth four times and still fits in her prom dress from high school.
I gave birth 0 times and I havenβt fit in my pants since March.
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Yo mommaβs so black when she turned to the dark side the Sith became Jedis.
π π π
