A senator is visiting a primary school.
In one class, he asks the students if anyone can give him an example of a tragedy.
One little boy stands up and offers, “If my best friend who lives next door is playing in the street when a car came by and killed him, that would be a tragedy.”
“No,” the senator says, “that would be an ACCIDENT.”
A girl raises her hand, “If a school bus carrying fifty children drove off a cliff, killing everyone inside… that would be a tragedy.”
“I’m afraid not,” explains the senator. “That is what we would call a GREAT LOSS.”
The room is silent—none of the other children dare volunteer.
“What?” asks the Senator, “Isn’t there anyone here who can give me an example of a tragedy?”
Finally, Little Johnny in the back raises his hand.
In a timid voice, he says, “If an airplane carrying a senator was blown up by a bomb, that would be a tragedy.”
“Marvelous!” the senator beams. “And can you tell me WHY that would be a tragedy?”
“Well,” says Johnny, “because it wouldn’t be an accident, and it certainly wouldn’t be any great loss.”
😄 😄 😄
People treat me like a god.
They ignore my existence unless they want something from me.
😄 😄 😄
Why should you never mess with a Gladiator who knows his English literature?
First he’ll bellowulf at you, then he’ll shakespeare.
😄 😄 😄
Why do we call the aliens creating the pyramids a conspiracy theory?
It’s obviously a pyramid scheme.
😄 😄 😄
How do you make a hot dog stand?
Take away its chair.
😄 😄 😄
What US state is round on the sides but tall in the center?
Ohio.
😄 😄 😄
I’m proud to announce I have stuck to my New Year’s resolution and did not bite my nails the entire month of January.
My feet have never looked better.
😄 😄 😄
What did one boat say to the other boat?
Are you interested in a little row-mance?
😄 😄 😄
An atheist is someone with no invisible means of support.
😄 😄 😄
What did the taco say to the depressed donut?
Taco: “Want to taco bout it?”
Donut: “I donut know what to say.”
😄 😄 😄
What do you call a sleep walking Nun?
A Roamin’ Catholic.
😄 😄 😄
An astronaut stepped in gum on the moon.
He’s stuck in orbit.
😄 😄 😄
What happens to elves when they are naughty?
Santa gives them the sack!
😄 😄 😄
My addiction to helium is out of control, but...
No one is taking my cries for help seriously.
😄 😄 😄
What do bees use to build roads?
Nec-tar.
😄 😄 😄
So all the animals gathered and having a party. Everybody is drinking and talking and having a good time.
Suddenly, a chameleon get to the middle of the room, “Check this out,” and start changing color of his skin for a minute straight.
Once he done he say, “Lets see any of you do the same.”
Suddenly, octopus appear from the crowd and says, “Hold my beer, hold my beer, hold my beer, hold my beer, hold my beer, hold my beer, hold my beer, hold my beer.”
😄 😄 😄
Whenever I see a man with a beard, mustache and glasses, I think
“There’s a man who has taken every precaution to avoid people doodling on photographs of him.”
😄 😄 😄
Looking for a boyfriend in engineering.
The odds are good, but the goods are odd.
😄 😄 😄
What do you get if you trip over a Pokémon?
A bulbous sore.
😄 😄 😄
Knock! Knock!
“Who’s there?”
“Art.”
“Art, who?”
“Art you going to a birthday party?”
😄 😄 😄
