Ohayo means “good morning” in Japanese.
And that is the most interesting thing about Ohio.
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Your momma’s hair is so short she curls the hair with a grain of rice.
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Knock! Knock!
“Who’s there?”
“Hoo.”
“Hoo, who?”
“Are you an owl?”
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Don’t forget you are what you eat.
I need to eat a skinny person.
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Two rabbits were being chased by a pack of wolves.
The wolves chased the rabbits into a thicket.
After a few minutes, one rabbit turned to the other and said, “Well, do you want to make a run for it or stay here a few days and outnumber them?”
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The good news is Elon Musk is turning Twitter headquarters into a homeless shelter.
The bad news is it can only house 280 characters or less.
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When I was born I was so surprised I didn’t talk for a year and a half.
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If trees produced Wi-Fi, we would be planting them everywhere.
Too bad they only produce oxygen.
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How do you communicate with a fish?
You drop it a line.
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“Why did you act like that at Thanksgiving dinner?”
“I yam what I yam.”
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What is a teddy bear’s favorite Thanksgiving food?
Stuffing.
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I like birthdays, but I think too many can kill you.
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Why shouldn’t you ask Yoda for money?
He’s a little short.
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Little Johnny was sitting in class one day and the teacher was talking about life.
She asks him: “Little Johnny, what do you want your wife to be like?”
He: “Like the moon.”
The teacher: “That’s such a beautiful answer because it's calm and peaceful”.
Little Johnny: “No, because it appears at night and disappears in the morning.”
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You’re gourdgeous!
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Why did the vegetarian cross the road?
Because she was protesting for the chicken.
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What planet is next to Uranus?
Poopiter.
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As an archeologist, I organized a party with my friend to help me excavate the lower leg of a T-Rex fossil.
It’s going to be quite a shin dig.
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Daisy: “Why do you have two different colored socks on? One’s blue, but the other is green.”
Little Johnny: “I’m not sure. It’s weird. There was another pair exactly like this one at home.”
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When the teacher got frustrated because the students weren’t paying attention to the class about Isaac Newton, he exclaimed, “Don’t you understand the gravity of this situation!”
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