I named my pet goldfish Uranus.
It really keeps my aquarium afloat.
😄 😄 😄
What did the chef say to his staff on Labor Day?
“Let’s take a break and cook up some fun!”
😄 😄 😄
I met a girl on Tinder and we were going to go to the gym on our first date, but she stood me up.
I suppose we aren’t gonna work out.
😄 😄 😄
A good friend of mine—Frank—owns and operates a struggling Hot Dog business.
He recently turned to social media to help boost sales though and is determined to make every post a weiner.
😄 😄 😄
Knock! Knock!
“Who’s there?”
“Lenny.”
“Lenny, who?”
“Lenny know when you’re done with these April Fools’ Day jokes.”
😄 😄 😄
I wanted to try my hand at designing my own game on Roblox.
But it was just too blocky for me.
😄 😄 😄
Which ankle did Spider-Man twist after tripping on the curb?
Ankle Ben.
😄 😄 😄
Knock! Knock!
“Who’s there?”
“Halibut.”
“Halibut, who?”
“Halibut lending me five dollars?”
😄 😄 😄
My favorite planet is Uranus because it’s just so well-rounded.
😄 😄 😄
I might have to reconsider my kosher hot dog business...
For some reason, Anne’s Franks hasn’t been very popular with the target audience.
😄 😄 😄
Yo Mama is so old she’s got a Bible autographed by Jesus.
😄 😄 😄
Yo momma’s so fat Yoda couldn’t use the Force to move her.
😄 😄 😄
Yo mama so stupid she went to Bangkok to get a TIE fighter!
😄 😄 😄
Why was the man with the big nose sad?
He could really smell his feet!
😄 😄 😄
How do you make Uranus laugh?
Just give it some gas!
😄 😄 😄
Otters have a seafood diet: clams, crabs, mussels, you name it.
Basically, they see food, they eat it.
😄 😄 😄
President Roosevelt once rode his horse 100 miles.
Chuck Norris carried his the same distance in half the time.
😄 😄 😄
A skunk fell into the river and stank to the bottom.
😄 😄 😄
I didn’t really know where to start so I thought I’d trawl the internet.
After a couple of hours I’d found some really, really good stuff.
But then I remembered that I was supposed to be writing a speech.
😄 😄 😄
You know you’re 50 when you now have more hair on your knuckles than you do on your head.
😄 😄 😄
