I bought some blue shoes to wear to the office.
But they made me feel downright feet-talistic.
😄 😄 😄
What do you call someone who doesn’t believe it is June yet?
A May-sayer.
😄 😄 😄
Wake up! Wake up! Wake up!
Can I come over yet?
😄 😄 😄
Where does a kangaroo go that can’t hop?
Hopspital.
😄 😄 😄
Who hides in the bakery at Christmas?
A mince spy.
😄 😄 😄
Why do cats like August month?
Because it marks the end of the dog days of summer.
😄 😄 😄
The road to success is always under construction.
😄 😄 😄
Spider-Man and Black Widow first met on the web.
😄 😄 😄
I visited a real graveyard yesterday...
I logged back into Myspace.
😄 😄 😄
Guess what I found in the creepy old professors’ closet?
Narnia business
😄 😄 😄
What do we learn from cows, buffaloes, and elephants?
It’s impossible to reduce weight by eating green grass and salads and walking.
😄 😄 😄
A policeman pulls a man over for speeding and asks him to get out of the car.
After looking the man over he says, “Sir, I couldn’t help but notice your eyes are bloodshot. Have you been drinking?”
The man gets really annoyed and says, “Officer, I couldn’t help but notice your eyes are glazed. Have you been eating doughnuts?”
😄 😄 😄
What happened to the fungi who moved into a New York apartment?
He didn’t have mush-room.
😄 😄 😄
Why did the bearded man sue the barber who sneakily shaved off his beard?
He barber-ed a grudge against him.
😄 😄 😄
I can’t stop my mushroom from leaning.
I think I need some morel support.
😄 😄 😄
“Do you know the difference between a fly and an elephant?”
“No.”
“Wow! You’d better see somebody then.”
😄 😄 😄
Customer: “Give me a hot dog.”
Waiter: “With pleasure.”
Customer: “No, with sauerkraut!”
😄 😄 😄
It’s so hot the frozen pizza I bought at the grocery store was ready to eat by the time I got home.
😄 😄 😄
Congratulations on deciding life is more important than work. What took you so long?
😄 😄 😄
The only love triangle I want is a slice of pizza.
😄 😄 😄
