What did one man say to his friend who had a receding hairline?
He said, “Hey, friend, I can see that your head definitely has a brighter future than mine.”
😄 😄 😄
NASA sent a probe to all of the planets in our solar system but quit after Uranus...
They found it to be a poophole.
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Yo mama so old her breast milk is powder.
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Knock! Knock!
“Who’s there?”
“Noah.”
“Noah, who?”
“Know a place I can hide from ghosts?!”
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I’ve finally saved up enough for solar panels.
What’s holding me back is that I can’t afford a house.
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There was a bad smell coming from a dumpster.
So, my mother made my sister burn some spices to cover it.
She used pap-reek-her.
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What type of salad did they serve on the Titanic?
Iceberg lettuce.
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Never criticize someone until you have walked a mile in their shoes.
That way, when you criticize them, you’ll be a mile away and you’ll have their shoes.
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You enter the laboratory and see an experiment.
How will you know which class is it?
If it’s green and wiggles, it’s biology.
If it stinks, it’s chemistry.
If it doesn’t work, it’s physics.
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Why did the bacon laugh?
Because the egg cracked a yolk!
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I confused Thanksgiving with Tanksgiving.
Now I’m in trouble with the U.S. Army.
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Why did the foot smile?
He was toe happy.
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A boy calls 911.
“911, what is your emergency?”
The boy replied, “My parents are fighting, and I’m scared..”
“Well, who’s your father?”
“Well, that’s what they’re fighting about.”
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I said to the gym teacher, “Can you teach me to do the splits?”
He said, “How flexible are you?”
I said, “I can’t make Tuesdays.”
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My friend went bankrupt after inventing a sandal for people with only one leg.
It was a flop.
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Please, donut break my heart.
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I like working from home.
It’s much more comfortable than sleeping in my cubicle.
😄 😄 😄
Every Spider-Man needs a Mary Jane...
Can you be my Mary Jane?
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Yo head is so big if it were a bowling ball, score a strike every time.
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What do clouds wear under their shorts?
Thunderpants.
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