What do bees use to build roads?
Nec-tar.
😄 😄 😄
So all the animals gathered and having a party. Everybody is drinking and talking and having a good time.
Suddenly, a chameleon get to the middle of the room, “Check this out,” and start changing color of his skin for a minute straight.
Once he done he say, “Lets see any of you do the same.”
Suddenly, octopus appear from the crowd and says, “Hold my beer, hold my beer, hold my beer, hold my beer, hold my beer, hold my beer, hold my beer, hold my beer.”
😄 😄 😄
Whenever I see a man with a beard, mustache and glasses, I think
“There’s a man who has taken every precaution to avoid people doodling on photographs of him.”
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Looking for a boyfriend in engineering.
The odds are good, but the goods are odd.
😄 😄 😄
What do you get if you trip over a Pokémon?
A bulbous sore.
😄 😄 😄
Knock! Knock!
“Who’s there?”
“Art.”
“Art, who?”
“Art you going to a birthday party?”
😄 😄 😄
What do you call a claim that a guy could eat a foot long hot dog in two bites?
Hard to swallow.
😄 😄 😄
Being vegan is so easy that I literally just stare at the sun and I’m satisfied.
Thanks, photosynthesis.
😄 😄 😄
I threw away my can opener.
It was more of a can’t opener.
😄 😄 😄
Mauricio Pochettino and Erik Ten Hag have each been given advent calendars and need to be shown the door.
😄 😄 😄
The artist was great.
He could always draw a crowd.
😄 😄 😄
What do you call a Chinese lobster?
A crust-asian.
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Can’t see an end. I have no control and I don’t think there’s an escape. I don’t even have a home anymore.
Think it’s time for a new keyboard.
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Chuck Norris can punch you in the back of the face.
😄 😄 😄
What did the shop owner say when he accidentally ordered too much chocolate and marshmallows?
We’ve got a rocky road ahead of us...
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Our local politician just opened a neighborhood pharmacy store.
He is now a piller of the community.
😄 😄 😄
In most cartoons I watched, characters were able to come back from near death by having water splashed on their face.
On a completely unrelated note, I am no longer allowed at funerals...
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Did you hear about the Pinterest user who tried to cook a recipe they found on the site?
Let’s just say they added a new pin to their recipe board “Order Takeout!”.
😄 😄 😄
A man was fishing in the jungle.
After a while another angler came to join him.
“Have you had any bites?” asked the second man.
“Yes, lots,” replied the first one, “but they were all mosquitoes.”
😄 😄 😄
Knock! Knock!
“Who’s there?”
“Baby owl.”
“Baby owl, who?”
“Baby owl see you later.”
😄 😄 😄
