The policeman told me he was chasing a man with one leg.
I told him to use both, he would get him faster.
😄 😄 😄
Young actor: “Dad, guess what? I’ve just got my first part in a play. I play the part of a man who’s been married for 30 years.”
Father: “Well, keep at it, son. Maybe one day you’ll get a speaking part.”
😄 😄 😄
What is an Italian’s favorite type of dog?
A ciao ciao.
😄 😄 😄
I got the book “Internet Forums for Dummies” from a friend.
But I need to take it back, because I already Reddit.
😄 😄 😄
Every time a tall person bumps their head, somewhere a short person is smiling.
😄 😄 😄
A huge earthquake shook Mexico. Around 3000 people died.
The world combined efforts to help Mexico during these hard times.
England gave medicine.
France sent food.
Germany made huge donations.
The USA sent 3000 Mexicans to replenish the stock.
😄 😄 😄
Looking for a boyfriend in engineering.
The odds are good, but the goods are odd.
😄 😄 😄
Yo mama’s so hairy that people run up to her and say “Chewbacca, can I get your autograph?”.
😄 😄 😄
What do you call cheese that’s not yours?
Nacho cheese.
😄 😄 😄
Why did the blue paint laugh at the brown paint?
Because he was blue-tiful.
😄 😄 😄
A Korean martial artist was giving away chocolate bars.
I asked if I could have 2.
He said, “No, you can taek-won-do.”
😄 😄 😄
My favorite character in the wizard of oz is the scarecrow.
I mean, come on, it’s a no-brainer!
😄 😄 😄
Did you hear about McDonald’s trying to get into the high-end steakhouse market?
It was a Big Mcsteak.
😄 😄 😄
Guess what happened to the man who was addicted to doing the “Hokey Pokey”?
He turned himself around.
😄 😄 😄
An elephant, a giraffe and a penguin walk in to a bar.
It’s at this point I realize that there is something wrong with my pint.
😄 😄 😄
In Canada, you are more likely to die of a kick of a moose than a terrorist attack.
Those damn moose limbs.
😄 😄 😄
My wife complained that I never take her to expensive places anymore.
So I took her to the gas station.
😄 😄 😄
Want to hear a car joke?
BMW 2 Series.
😄 😄 😄
What do you call the science dedicated to studying Uranus?
Asstronomy.
😄 😄 😄
Losing a wife can be very tough.
Some may even say impossible.
😄 😄 😄
