Enjoy our team's carefully selected Cat Jokes. Laugh yourself and share the funniest jokes with your friends!
A man has gone on a month-long vacation, leaving his friend to take care of his grandmother, his cat, and the avocado tree in his backyard.
A few days into the vacation, the man gets a call from his friend, who says, โYour cat got run over by a car and died.โ
The man, understandably, is horrified and says that it was too sudden. He tells his friend that what he should do is first, tell him that his cat ran away, then the next day, tell him that his cat got stuck at the top of the avocado tree, and the third day tell him that his cat died.
His friend thinks that this is a reasonable request.
A week later, the man gets another phone call from his friend.
โWhat?โ he asks.
His friend replies, โYour grandmother is stuck at the top of the avocado tree.โ
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How did Garfield stop the rooster from waking him on Monday morning?
He ate him on Sunday night!
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Three women escape from prisonโa blonde and two brunettesโand to get away from the cops they hide in an abandoned farmhouse.
Inside the house, there are three sacks that the escapees crawl into when the police search the building.
One of the cops sees the sacks and yells, โThere are just three burlap sacks in here!โ
To which his partner replies, โThen kick them just to be sure itโs not them hidingโ.
The officer goes and kicks one with a brunette in it and she yells, โMEEEYYOWW!โ
The officer says, โOh, itโs just a stupid cat in there.โ
So he kicks the one with the other brunette in it and she yells, โRUUFFF RUFFF!โ
The officer says, โOh, itโs just a stupid dog!โ
Then he kicks the sack with the blonde in it and she yells, โPOTATOES!โ
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One day little Johnny was digging a hole in his backyard.
The next-door neighbor spotted him and decided to investigate.
โHello Johnny, what are you up to?โ he asked.
โMy goldfish died and Iโm gonna bury him,โ Johnny replied.
โThatโs a really big hole for a goldfish, isnโt it?โ asked the neighbor.
โThatโs because heโs inside your cat!โ
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A policeman stops a man in a car with a lynx in the passenger seat.
โWhat are you doing with a lynx? You should take him to the zoo!โ The policeman says.
The next week he stops the same car to see that the man still has the lynx, โI thought you were going to take the cat to the zoo.โ He says.
โI did! We had such a good time we are going to the beach this weekend!โ
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A man feels terrible after running over a cat, he walks up to an old ladyโs door.
She answers and he says, โIโm so sorry, I ran over your cat. Iโd like to replace it.โ
The old woman says, โOkay, how good are you at catching mice?โ
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What did one flea say to the other?
โShall we walk or take the cat?โ
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When is it bad luck to be followed by a black cat?
When youโre a mouse.
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Why did the cat like eating lemons?
Because he was a sourpuss.
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Why are cats better than babies?
Because you only have to change a litter box once a day.
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What does a cat have that no other animal has?
Kittens.
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Why do cats always win video games?
Because they have nine lives!
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Why do cats hate laptops?
They donโt have a mouse.
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