Cat Puns and Hilarious Cat Jokes



Enjoy our team's carefully selected Cat Jokes. Laugh yourself and share the funniest jokes with your friends!



Cat Jokes


A man has gone on a month-long vacation, leaving his friend to take care of his grandmother, his cat, and the avocado tree in his backyard.

A few days into the vacation, the man gets a call from his friend, who says, โ€œYour cat got run over by a car and died.โ€

The man, understandably, is horrified and says that it was too sudden. He tells his friend that what he should do is first, tell him that his cat ran away, then the next day, tell him that his cat got stuck at the top of the avocado tree, and the third day tell him that his cat died.

His friend thinks that this is a reasonable request.

A week later, the man gets another phone call from his friend.

โ€œWhat?โ€ he asks.

His friend replies, โ€œYour grandmother is stuck at the top of the avocado tree.โ€

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How did Garfield stop the rooster from waking him on Monday morning?

He ate him on Sunday night!

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Three women escape from prisonโ€”a blonde and two brunettesโ€”and to get away from the cops they hide in an abandoned farmhouse.

Inside the house, there are three sacks that the escapees crawl into when the police search the building.

One of the cops sees the sacks and yells, โ€œThere are just three burlap sacks in here!โ€

To which his partner replies, โ€œThen kick them just to be sure itโ€™s not them hidingโ€.

The officer goes and kicks one with a brunette in it and she yells, โ€œMEEEYYOWW!โ€

The officer says, โ€œOh, itโ€™s just a stupid cat in there.โ€

So he kicks the one with the other brunette in it and she yells, โ€œRUUFFF RUFFF!โ€

The officer says, โ€œOh, itโ€™s just a stupid dog!โ€

Then he kicks the sack with the blonde in it and she yells, โ€œPOTATOES!โ€

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One day little Johnny was digging a hole in his backyard.

The next-door neighbor spotted him and decided to investigate.

โ€œHello Johnny, what are you up to?โ€ he asked.

โ€œMy goldfish died and Iโ€™m gonna bury him,โ€ Johnny replied.

โ€œThatโ€™s a really big hole for a goldfish, isnโ€™t it?โ€ asked the neighbor.

โ€œThatโ€™s because heโ€™s inside your cat!โ€

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A policeman stops a man in a car with a lynx in the passenger seat.

โ€œWhat are you doing with a lynx? You should take him to the zoo!โ€ The policeman says.

The next week he stops the same car to see that the man still has the lynx, โ€œI thought you were going to take the cat to the zoo.โ€ He says.

โ€œI did! We had such a good time we are going to the beach this weekend!โ€

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A man feels terrible after running over a cat, he walks up to an old ladyโ€™s door.

She answers and he says, โ€œIโ€™m so sorry, I ran over your cat. Iโ€™d like to replace it.โ€

The old woman says, โ€œOkay, how good are you at catching mice?โ€

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What did one flea say to the other?

โ€œShall we walk or take the cat?โ€

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When is it bad luck to be followed by a black cat?

When youโ€™re a mouse.

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Why did the cat like eating lemons?

Because he was a sourpuss.

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Why are cats better than babies?

Because you only have to change a litter box once a day.

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What does a cat have that no other animal has?

Kittens.

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Why do cats always win video games?

Because they have nine lives!

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Why do cats hate laptops?

They donโ€™t have a mouse.

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