Funny Jokes

Enjoy our team's carefully selected funny jokes. Laugh yourself and share the funniest jokes with your friends!

A boss was waiting in his office one day when he noticed that all of his workers were missing.

He waits a few more minutes before the first worker comes in.

“Why were you late?” asked the boss.

Sounding exhausted, the worker says, “Sorry boss, but my car broke down on the way to work so I tried the bus, but the bus broke down so I hailed a cab, but the cab broke down, but fortunately I was near a stable, but the horse ran so fast it had a heart attack and I had to jog the rest of the way.”

The boss thinks nothing of it and sends the worker off.

The next 2 workers come in to check in and the boss asks them the same question, “Why were you late?”

The workers give the boss the exact same reason, “Sorry boss, but my car broke down on the way to work so I tried the bus, but the bus broke down so I hailed a cab, but the cab broke down, but fortunately I was near a stable, but the horse ran so fast it had a heart attack and I had to jog the rest of the way.”

The boss thinks that he must be losing his mind, but sends the workers off anyways.

Finally, the last worker comes in and the boss says, “Let me guess, your car broke down on the way to work so you tried the bus, but the bus broke down so you hailed a cab, but the cab broke down, but fortunately, you were near a stable, but the horse ran so fast it had a heart attack and you had to jog the rest of the way?”

The worker said, “No boss, you got it all wrong, you see, there were so many broken down cars, buses, cabs, dead horses and crazed joggers in the streets, it was impossible to get through.”

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Why did the student eat his homework?

Because he didn’t have a dog.

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Why no one has ever been sentenced for crimes committed on the moon?

Because it’s a gray area.

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Why are football players not allowed in bowling alleys?

After getting a strike, they spike the ball.

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What kind of candy bar does an employee crave before the weekend?

A PayDay.

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Guess what’s the best thing about Switzerland?

I don’t know, but the flag is a big plus.

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Johnny tried to buy a toy car with monopoly money at the store.

The cashier said, “There’s no way I can take this. It’s fake.”

Johnny said, “Well, the car’s not real either.”

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Three kids one day found a magical slide.

There was a sign next to it saying “whatever you wish for comes true once you slide down”.

One kid stepped up and slid down, he wished for a river of chocolate, thus he swam in a chocolate river.

The second kid slid down and wished for a mountain of money, he then landed in a pile of money.

The third kid went down and said, “Weeeeeeee!”

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85% of people in America don’t know basic math.

Thanks God I’m from the other 25%.

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I bet you a dollar I can kiss you on the mouth without touching your lips.

...I guess I owe you a dollar.

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