It’s so cold, I chipped my tooth on my soup.
😄 😄 😄
I wonder how NASA felt after Apollo 11’s success.
I bet they were over the moon.
😄 😄 😄
What did 0 say to 8?
Nice belt!
😄 😄 😄
Knock! Knock!
“Who’s there?”
“Erin.”
“Erin, who?”
“Erin as fast as I could but couldn’t catch the leprechaun.”
😄 😄 😄
My friend showed me his huge comic book collection.
It was quite a Marvel.
😄 😄 😄
Did you know that China has a policy where a certain amount of pandas must live in the country?
To be fair, it’s the bear minimum.
😄 😄 😄
A wife tells her husband, “I’m just going to pop over to Jenny next door for 5 minutes, don’t forget to stir the curry every half an hour!”
😄 😄 😄
Knock! Knock!
“Who’s there?”
“Venice.”
“Venice, who?”
“Venice Halloween candy coming out?!”
😄 😄 😄
Yo mama’s so fat that even the Death Star couldn’t blow her up!
😄 😄 😄
Caitlin Jenner just signed a deal with Marvel.
She is going to be in the new Ex-Men film.
😄 😄 😄
When do ghouls and goblins cook their victims?
On Fry Day.
😄 😄 😄
Why did Chuck Norris wear knee pads?
He never liked Bruised Knee.
😄 😄 😄
At 11 am, my Boss asking me the status of work from home.
But at that time, I am trying to remember who is he.
😄 😄 😄
I wish I had as much hope as the guy driving the ice cream truck around in February.
😄 😄 😄
Bit nervous about my maths exam.
Think my chances of passing it are 40-40.
😄 😄 😄
Dating me is like IKEA furniture.
Not well put together, slightly unstable but just aesthetic enough to show your friends.
😄 😄 😄
How do you know that you play WoW too often?
When your microwave does “DING!” and you reply “GZ!”.
😄 😄 😄
Math teacher: “If I have 5 bottles in one hand and 6 in the other hand, what do I have?”
Student: “A drinking problem.”
😄 😄 😄
What does the sun drink out of?
Sun-glasses.
😄 😄 😄
Two wafers fell into a vat of chocolate.
The first one pulled the second one out.
The second one said, “Thanks, you’re a lifesaver!”
The first one responded, “Actually, I’m a KitKat.”
😄 😄 😄
