A salesman returns from his assignment in Saudi Arabia, where he went to sell them a new brand of Coca-Cola.
Seeing his crestfallen face, a friend asks him, βWhy the long face?β
The salesman replied, βI failed in Saudi Arabia. The campaign was a total failure.β
βWhy is that?β asked the friend. βI thought you had a good campaign running.β
βWell, when I got posted there, I was very confident that I would make a great sales pitch to the Saudis. But I had a problemβI didnβt speak Arabic, so I planned to convey the meaning of the message with the use of three images:
First poster: A man lying in the hot desert sand in utter exhaustion; he has fainted.
Second poster: The man is drinking the new Coca-Cola brand.
Third poster: Our man is now totally refreshed and feeling great.
I had these posters pasted all over the place. You couldnβt go anywhere without seeing them.β
βTerrific! That should have worked!β said the friend.
βIt should have,β sighed the salesman. βOnly no one told me they read from right to leftβ¦β
π π π
Before Marriage.
Boy: βAh at last. I can hardly wait.β
Girl: βDo you want me to leave?β
Boy: βNo, don't even think about it.β
Girl: βDo you love me?β
Boy: βOf Course. Always have and always will.β
Girl: βHave you ever cheated on me?β
Boy: βNever. Why are you even asking?β
Girl: βWill you kiss me?β
Boy: βHell no. Are you crazy?β
Girl: βCan I trust you?β
Boy: βYes.β
Girl: βDarling!β
After Marriage⦠(Read from bottom to top)
π π π
My wife really is the sunshine of my life.
Too bad Iβm a vampire.
π π π
What is a mothβs favorite type of glasses?
Lampshades.
π π π
What would the sun say if he had a wife?
You are my sol-mate.
π π π
Your mama so stupid she cut holes in her umbrella to see if it was raining.
π π π
βLOL stands for laugh out loud and BRB stands for be right back, but what does IDK stand for?β
βI donβt know.β
βAlright, fine Iβll ask somebody else.β
π π π
I was eating a hot dog the other day and when I took a bite, ketchup squirted in my eye...
Now I have heinzsight.
π π π
In honor of Area 51, what do you call too many aliens in one place?
Extra terrestrials.
π π π
I wanted to impress my crush, so I told her about my millionaire dad.
Now she is my mom.
π π π
A programmer puts two glasses on his bedside table before going to sleep.
A full one, in case he gets thirsty, and an empty one, in case he doesnβt.
π π π
The EU was invited to a Thanksgiving dinner.
But they refused to have turkey.
π π π
Once some hunters were after an elephant. The elephant didnβt know what to do.
He met an ant on the road and told him his problem.
Ant said, βDonβt worry. Just hide behind me!β
π π π
Why do pandas like old movies?
Because theyβre in black and white.
π π π
Whatβs suicide bombersβ biggest fear?
Dying alone.
π π π
I asked my wife whether I should get another tattoo, and she said that if I do, I should get it in a place that doesnβt matter.
So Iβm planning to get one in Oklahoma.
π π π
What job on a construction site is best suited to a skeleton?
Cranium operator.
π π π
Sad news from the Nestle factory today as a man was crushed to death by hundreds of boxes of chocolate.
He tried in vain to attract attention but every time he yelled βThe Milky Bars are on me!β, people just cheered.
π π π
Why was the beaver not arrested when he jumped into the Nile?
Because he was juve-niles.
π π π
Whatβs a punβs best trait?
His pun-ctuality.
π π π