I donβt want to be Spider-Man, I just want to be your man.
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Whatβs a poodleβs favorite kind of pizza?
Pupperoni.
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Remember:
Itβs impolite to ask people questions about their sinuses because thatβs their personal business.
Donβt be nosy.
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Wakey wakey, eggs and bakey!
Itβs a brand new day full of possibilities and bacon.
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An Oxford comma walks into a bar.
Orders a gin, and tonic.
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Knock! Knock!
βWhoβs there?β
βGinger.β
βGinger, who?β
βThe Ginger Bread Man!β
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Why do crypto fans love donuts?
Because theyβre decentralized.
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Why was the hip bone so calm during surgery?
Because it knew everything would be alright.
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When is it acceptable for a nose to be in a salad?
When itβs a snowmanβs nose!
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What did the florist say to the customer who was trying to bargain over the price of the rose bouquet?
βTake it or leaf it bud!β
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Where do beavers go to cash their paychecks?
The riverbank.
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What do your boss and a slinky have in common?
Theyβre both fun to watch tumble down the stairs.
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What do you call it when a leprechaun sharts?
Lucky streak.
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Why did the Egyptian architect go to jail?
He was caught planning a pyramid scheme.
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Why is there an expiration date on sour cream?
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How does a cyclist train for a race?
He recycles.
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Your mamaβs so short that she has to get a running start to get up on the toilet.
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December 26th is Boxing Day in the UK, Canada, New Zealand and Australia.
Do you know when Boxing Day is celebrated in the US?
Black Friday.
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Itβs so hot my dream house in any house in Alaska.
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Why did the bluebird get kicked out of the forest?
Because it was a bird of pray.
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