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Funny Jokes


Your mama so fat, a picture of her would fall off the wall!

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Yo momma is so stupid, when an intruder broke into her house, she ran downstairs, dialed 9-1-1 on the microwave, and couldn’t find the β€œCALL” button.

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Knock! Knock!

β€œWho’s there?”

β€œEurope.”

β€œEurope, who?”

β€œNo, YOU’RE a poo!”

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Little Johnny was sitting on a park bench, eating six bars of chocolate.

A man walked up and noticed Johnny devouring the sweets.

β€œSon,” said the man, β€œeating too much candy isn’t good for you.”

β€œMy grandfather lived to be 100,” Johnny replies.

β€œDid he eat six chocolate bars a day, too?” the man asks.

β€œNo,” said Johnny, β€œHe minded his own damn business!”

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Did you hear what happened at the racetrack yesterday?

One horse was so slow, they had to pay the jockey overtime.

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I’ll never forget this solar eclipse, it’ll forever be seared into my mind...

...and retinas. I really should’ve worn some glasses.

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What do you call a pastry that is a priest?

A Holy Donut.

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Yo mamma’s so fat, that the Sarlacc rejected her as dinner.

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I think you are suffering...

From a lack of vitamin me.

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Why don’t mummies have friends?

Because they’re too wrapped up in themselves.

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