Last night I made fish tacos.
They looked at them and just swam away.
😄 😄 😄
My wife has a minor in psychology.
I guess you could say she’s a little...
Psycho.
😄 😄 😄
I love you more than ice cream.
😄 😄 😄
What a strange morning.
First, I find a hat full of money in the street.
And then I get chased by an angry guy with a guitar!
😄 😄 😄
What do you call dental X-rays?
Tooth pics.
😄 😄 😄
A boyfriend asks his girlfriend, “What gift would you like to receive during the St. Valentine’s Day?”
“Well, I don’t know” she answers shyly.
“OK, that I give you another year to think about it...”
😄 😄 😄
Why did the Smiley moji :-) drop the nose :)?
It was too negative.
😄 😄 😄
I’ve invented a solar-powered still!
It turns sunshine into moonshine.
😄 😄 😄
Did you hear about the new strategy where companies collaborate with ill celebrities?
It’s called influenza marketing.
It’s really going viral.
😄 😄 😄
I was just on a Zoom call that ended automatically after 40 minutes because the organizer was on a free tier.
This is the single greatest advance to meeting productivity that I’ve ever seen.
Would pay extra for this feature!
😄 😄 😄
Broccoli: “Hey, I look like a tree.”
Mushroom: “Wow, I look just like an umbrella.”
Walnut: “I look exactly like a brain.”
Banana: “Man, can we change the topic please?”
😄 😄 😄
Some local engineers took a train for a service.
But the vicar said it was blocking the aisle.
😄 😄 😄
It’s so hot you discover that you can get a sunburn through your car window.
😄 😄 😄
What do you call a hot dog with nothing inside it?
A hollow-weenie!
😄 😄 😄
What do you call the end of Ramadan?
Ramadusk.
😄 😄 😄
Guess why football stadiums are so cool?
Most seats have a fan on them!
😄 😄 😄
Why did the man help his friends trim their facial hair?
Shearing is caring.
😄 😄 😄
Your mama so short when she got in the car she couldn’t reach the steering wheel.
😄 😄 😄
What do you call a realistic prankster?
A practical joker.
😄 😄 😄
When the Tooth fairy comes to your house, she takes your tooth and gives you money.
When Chuck Norris comes to your house, he breaks your tooth and takes your money.
😄 😄 😄
