Funny Jokes

Enjoy our team's carefully selected funny jokes. Laugh yourself and share the funniest jokes with your friends!

A woman came home to find her retired husband waving a rolled up newspaper round his head.

Wife: “What are you doing dear?”

Husband: “Swatting flies. I got three males and two females”

Wife: “How on Earth do you know which gender they were?”

Husband: “Easy: three were on the beer, and the other two were on the phone.”

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Your mama's got a leather wig with suede sideburns.

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Can a dog jump higher than a house?

Well, duh. Houses can’t jump.

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Ever wonder why it’s called a Form 1040?

For every $50 you earn, you get $10 and they get $40.

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My wife and I were happy for twenty years.

Then we met.

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The house cleaner told me that she was going to start working from home, so she sent me a list of chores.

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Your mama so short, people thought she was a Funko Pop.

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What is green and dangerous?

A thundering herd of pickles!

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Bula decides it’s time to become a businessman, so after reading many chicken jokes, it seems like a chicken farm would be the best idea.

Said and done. First, buy 100 chickens, after the second month another 100, and keep it for a whole year.

After a year, at the New Year’s Eve party, he meets Johnny, who used to say the best chicken jokes before.

Johnny: “Well, how’s the business going?”

Bula: “Bad brother, sorry about everything!”

Johnny: “Why?”

Bula: “I don’t have any chickens anymore!”

Johnny: “Good god, why?”

Bula: “If I know, I think I’m doing something wrong. Either I plant them too deeply or don’t water them enough, but one doesn’t raise the hen.”

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What does a man who’s had a vasectomy and a Christmas tree have in common?

Decorative balls.

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