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Funny Jokes


Whatโ€™s Christโ€™s favorite cheesy cracker?

Jeez-Its.

๐Ÿ˜„ ๐Ÿ˜„ ๐Ÿ˜„


The lice in your head are starting to concern over deforestation.

๐Ÿ˜„ ๐Ÿ˜„ ๐Ÿ˜„


A first-grade teacher canโ€™t believe her student isnโ€™t hepped up about the Super Bowl.

โ€œItโ€™s a huge event. Why arenโ€™t you excited?โ€

โ€œBecause Iโ€™m not a football fan. My parents love basketball, so I do too,โ€ says the student.

โ€œWell, thatโ€™s a lousy reason,โ€ says the teacher. โ€œWhat if your parents were morons? What would you be then?โ€

โ€œThen Iโ€™d be a football fan.โ€

๐Ÿ˜„ ๐Ÿ˜„ ๐Ÿ˜„


A newcomer observes the inmates telling political jokes.

All the jokes are by now so deeply familiar that they simply refer to them by number.

โ€œForty-three,โ€ says one. General hilarity.

โ€œTwo hundred and threeโ€, says a second. Appreciative chuckles.

โ€œThree hundred and twenty-nine,โ€ says a third.

The newcomer decides to try his hand.

โ€œNinety-oneโ€, he ventures. Total silence.

He tries again, โ€œThree hundred and one.โ€ Not a titter.

โ€œForty-two.โ€ A deadly hush.

Puzzled, he asks his neighbor what he did wrong.

โ€œNothing,โ€ he says. โ€œItโ€™s just the way you tell them.โ€

๐Ÿ˜„ ๐Ÿ˜„ ๐Ÿ˜„


What did the sign on the bakerโ€™s door read when she wanted to be alone?

Donut disturb.

๐Ÿ˜„ ๐Ÿ˜„ ๐Ÿ˜„


Are you made of ice cream?

Because I canโ€™t wait to eat you up!

๐Ÿ˜„ ๐Ÿ˜„ ๐Ÿ˜„


It has been said about tax:

โ€œFor doing wrong, you are taxed a fine.

For doing well, you are fined a tax.โ€

๐Ÿ˜„ ๐Ÿ˜„ ๐Ÿ˜„


Walking down the road last night, I passed an apple pie, an ice cream sundae and a lemon cheesecake.

I thought, โ€œThe streets are strangely desserted tonight.โ€

๐Ÿ˜„ ๐Ÿ˜„ ๐Ÿ˜„


What do you call a woman with a frog on her head?

Lilly.

๐Ÿ˜„ ๐Ÿ˜„ ๐Ÿ˜„


Why did Batman break up with Catwoman?

He didnโ€™t like getting hairballs.

๐Ÿ˜„ ๐Ÿ˜„ ๐Ÿ˜„


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