Funny Jokes

Enjoy our team's carefully selected funny jokes. Laugh yourself and share the funniest jokes with your friends!

Why did the skeleton go to the barbecue?

To get another rib.

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What do you call an alien with three eyes?

An aliiien!

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Me: “I’m not able to stop making jokes.”

Doctor: “You can’t be serious.”

Me: “That’s right.”

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A blonde, brunette and redhead are in a desert.

The brunette says, “I brought some water so we don’t get dehydrated.”

The redhead says, “I brought some suntan lotion so we don’t get sunburned.”

Then the blonde says, “I brought a car door.”

The other girls ask, “Why did you bring that?”

The blonde says, “So I can roll down the window if it gets hot.”

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Reverend Clive Morgan was completing his homily in St John’s Church about the dangers of alcohol and the need for moderation and temperance.

He announced at the end of the sermon in a loud, clear voice, “If I had all the beer in the world, I’d take it and throw it into the river.”  

With even greater emphasis he added, “And if I had all the wine in the world, I’d take it and throw it into the river.”

Finally, he intoned in an extremely serious manner, “And if I had all the whiskey in the world, I’d take it and throw it into the river.”

The Reverend Morgan then sat down.

Jerry, St John’s leading chorister stood up and announced with a smile, “For our closing hymn this Sunday, let us sing together hymn number 109: Shall We Gather at the River.”

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Archaeologists have uncovered a mummy in Egypt covered in nuts and chocolate.

They believe it’s Pharaoh Roche.

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Your nose was on time, but you must have been a few minutes late.

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What dog can’t bark?

A hot dog.

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A butcher went out on a date. Guess what he said?

“Nice to meat you.”

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What holds the moon up?

Moon beams!

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