What did the balding guy and teenager growing a beard have in common?
For them, every hair counts!
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Yo mama so fat the horse on her polo shirt is real.
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Whatβs a Gen Zβerβs favorite punctuation mark?
The LOL emoji.
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Why are all mini golf players depressed?
They have no drive.
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Your head is so big that when it rains, your body never gets wet.
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Your mama so short she thought the cracks in the sidewalk were part of a maze.
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Yo mama so fat she fed an entire zombie apocalypse.
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What did the people call the bad hot dog stand?
The WURST!
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Why shouldnβt you worry about gaining a few extra pounds?
Fat people are harder to kidnap.
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Why are Chevys equipped with magnetized bumpers?
To pick up the parts that fall off other Chevys.
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Do you know that America has more museums than Starbucks and McDonaldβs combined?
Starbucks and McDonaldβs have a combined total of 0 museums.
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Your mama so stupid she put a watch in the piggy bank and said she was saving time.
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Do you want to invest in my startup company to destroy all vampires?
Iβm the main stakeholder.
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What kind of eclipse is it when the sun moves in front of the moon?
An Apocaclipse.
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I caught bird flu while waiting for a flight at the airport.
I have since found out it is a terminal illness.
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A pharmacist is going over the directions on a prescription bottle with an elderly patient.
βBe sure not to take this more often than every 4 hours,β the pharmacist says. βDonβt worry,β replies the patient. βIt takes me 4 hours to get the lid off.β
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A man in a French restaurant asks the waiter, βDo you have frog legs?β
The waiter looks offended, βNo, Iβve always walked like that!β
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You must be a gelato, because you make ice creams look bad.
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Chuck Norrisβs motorcycle has 4WD.
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What do you call an animal found under the avocado tree?
A guaca-mole.
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