Whatβs a kangarooβs favorite type of clothing?
A jump-suit.
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Yo mama so fat every time she turns around itβs her birthday.
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A lion woke up one morning feeling really rowdy and mean.
He went out and cornered a small monkey and roared, βWho is mightiest of all jungle animals?β
The trembling monkey says, βYou are, mighty lion!β
Later, the lion confronts a ox and fiercely bellows, βWho is the mightiest of all jungle animals?β
The terrified ox stammers, βOh great lion, you are the mightiest animal in the jungle!β
On a roll now, the lion swaggers up to an elephant and roars, βWho is mightiest of all jungle animals?β
Fast as lightning, the elephant snatches up the lion with his trunk, slams him against a tree half a dozen times leaving the lion feeling like itβd been run over by a safari wagon.
The elephant then stomps on the lion till it looks like a corn tortilla and ambles away.
The lion lets out a moan of pain, lifts his head weakly and hollers after the elephant, βJust because you donβt know the answer, you donβt have to get so upset about it!β
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What happened to the guy who stole a pun?
He needed to be pun-ished.
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Their romance started by candlelight.
But it only lasted a wick.
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What did the newspaper say to the ice cream?
Whatβs the scoop?
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Why is Donald Trump so good at the racetrack?
Heβs a stable genius.
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Yo mama so fat when she wears her yellow raincoat people yell out βtaxi!β.
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Itβs not that the man did not know how to juggle.
He just didnβt have the balls to do it.
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Why did the daughter start eating donuts?
Because her mother said, βYou better eat hole foods.β
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Why is nostalgia like grammar?
We find the present tense and the past perfect.
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Why donβt you hear psychiatrists when they go to the bathroom?
The p is silent.
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What do you call an extraterrestrial that speaks Portuguese?
A Brazalien.
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What are Michael Jacksonβs pronouns?
He/Hee.
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What are bombing instructors in Jihad camps getting tired of hearing?
βOK Boomer!β
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I just found out that the UK doesnβt have a kidney bank.
But at least it has a Liverpool.
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Chuck Norris can make fire by rubbing together two pieces of ice.
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Whatβs the difference between a hedgehog and the Man U team bus?
The Man U bus has more pricks.
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Good morning!
Remember, life is too short to skip breakfast...
Or to wear matching socks.
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A beaver hit a wall.
And yells out dam.
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