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What’s a kangaroo’s favorite type of clothing?

A jump-suit.

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Yo mama so fat every time she turns around it’s her birthday.

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A lion woke up one morning feeling really rowdy and mean.

He went out and cornered a small monkey and roared, β€œWho is mightiest of all jungle animals?”

The trembling monkey says, β€œYou are, mighty lion!”

Later, the lion confronts a ox and fiercely bellows, β€œWho is the mightiest of all jungle animals?”

The terrified ox stammers, β€œOh great lion, you are the mightiest animal in the jungle!”

On a roll now, the lion swaggers up to an elephant and roars, β€œWho is mightiest of all jungle animals?”

Fast as lightning, the elephant snatches up the lion with his trunk, slams him against a tree half a dozen times leaving the lion feeling like it’d been run over by a safari wagon.

The elephant then stomps on the lion till it looks like a corn tortilla and ambles away.

The lion lets out a moan of pain, lifts his head weakly and hollers after the elephant, β€œJust because you don’t know the answer, you don’t have to get so upset about it!”

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What happened to the guy who stole a pun?

He needed to be pun-ished.

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Their romance started by candlelight.

But it only lasted a wick.

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What did the newspaper say to the ice cream?

What’s the scoop?

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Why is Donald Trump so good at the racetrack?

He’s a stable genius.

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Yo mama so fat when she wears her yellow raincoat people yell out β€œtaxi!”.

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It’s not that the man did not know how to juggle.

He just didn’t have the balls to do it.

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Why did the daughter start eating donuts?

Because her mother said, β€œYou better eat hole foods.”

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Why is nostalgia like grammar?

We find the present tense and the past perfect.

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Why don’t you hear psychiatrists when they go to the bathroom?

The p is silent.

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What do you call an extraterrestrial that speaks Portuguese?

A Brazalien.

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What are Michael Jackson’s pronouns?

He/Hee.

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What are bombing instructors in Jihad camps getting tired of hearing?

β€œOK Boomer!”

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I just found out that the UK doesn’t have a kidney bank.

But at least it has a Liverpool.

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Chuck Norris can make fire by rubbing together two pieces of ice.

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What’s the difference between a hedgehog and the Man U team bus?

The Man U bus has more pricks.

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Good morning!

Remember, life is too short to skip breakfast...

Or to wear matching socks.

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A beaver hit a wall.

And yells out dam.

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