What would you call an unidentified object which landed in Australia?
Australien.
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How does the Easter Bunny stay healthy?
Eggsercise, particularly hareobics!
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If mermaid is woman, then what do you call a man version of mermaid?
Merbutler.
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Why do the hot dogs with ketchup spoil early?
Because the sauce ages.
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Chuck Norris built the house in which he was born.
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It is so hot the trees are whistling for the dogs.
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Why did the new Little Mermaid actress have to be someone without any cosmetic enhancements?
Because there is enough plastic in the ocean already.
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How does a baked bean learn from its mistakes?
It uses Heinz sight.
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What makes it okay for bats to just poop wherever they want?
For a bat, every room is the batroom.
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She left the bar because after 45 minutes, the date finally arrived, and he was a gnome.
Too little, too late.
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What’s the easiest way to stop a dog from digging in the garden?
Take away his shovel!
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A snail starts a slow climb up the trunk of an apple tree.
He is watched by a sparrow who can’t help laughing and eventually says, “Don’t you know there aren’t any apples on the tree yet?”
“Yes,” said the snail, “but there will be by the time I get up there.”
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Guess what happened to the man who was addicted to doing the “Hokey Pokey”?
He turned himself around.
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My wife told me I was immature and needed to grow up.
Guess who’s not allowed in my tree house anymore.
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I’m proud to say that I never make the same mistake twice.
I commit my mistakes more than twice just to make sure.
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Get up, your coffee needs you.
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Why did the nun become an archaeologist?
She had a knack for digging up old habits.
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What happens to corny jokesters who get jailed on April Fools’ Day?
They go to the pun-itentiary.
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I don’t know why people expect to find aliens in Area 51.
Trump would have deported them by now!
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What is the most common question the Finnish detective asks a suspect?
“What were you doing the night between November and May?”
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