Person 1: “I like Eminem.”
Person 2: “Well, I prefer Skittles.”
Person 1: “No, I meant the rapper.”
Person 2: “Why would you eat the wrapper?”
😄 😄 😄
Yes, money can’t buy happiness, but it is much more comfortable to cry in a new BMW than on a bike.
😄 😄 😄
A guy walks into a bar and orders a beer.
“I’m sick and tired of my wife blowing everything out of proportion,” he complains to the bartender. “She’s single-handedly ruining my balloon animal business.”
😄 😄 😄
I tried to call Spider-Man, but he was busy browsing in the web.
😄 😄 😄
What are the chances of winning the Mexican lottery?
Juan in a million.
😄 😄 😄
Latest space news:
Uranus has a huge split in it and is leaking methane.
😄 😄 😄
Candice balls fit up your nose.
😄 😄 😄
Knock! Knock!
“Who’s there?”
“Abby.”
“Abby, who?”
“Abby birthday to you!”
😄 😄 😄
Why do people love blue jokes?
They’re so pun-derful.
😄 😄 😄
What do you call an amazing day up a mountain?
A peak experience.
😄 😄 😄
Why is the moon so grumpy?
It’s just going through one of its phases.
😄 😄 😄
What happens if a tree falls into mud?
It leafs an impression.
😄 😄 😄
Chuck Norris doesn’t wear a watch.
He decides what time it is.
😄 😄 😄
It’s always good to find out you’re going to be working from home.
Unless you’re a firefighter.
😄 😄 😄
What do you call a hip bone that’s late for surgery?
Hip-late.
😄 😄 😄
I got really hungry when we visited the Alpaca Farm, next time Alpaca lunch.
😄 😄 😄
A businessman was confused about a bill he had received, so he asked his secretary for some mathematical help.
“If I were to give you $20,000, minus 14%, how much would you take off?”, he asked her.
The secretary replied, “Everything but my earrings.”
😄 😄 😄
It’s hotter than a redhead’s getting a parking ticket.
😄 😄 😄
Yo sister so fat the only way she burns calories is when her food catches on fire.
😄 😄 😄
Away from their official duties, soccer players love dancing at a soccer ball.
😄 😄 😄
