The ice cream parlor asks for my order.
Parlor: “Hello Sir, can I take your order?”
Me: “Yes, I’d like a male hot fudge sundae please.”
Parlor: “I’m sorry Sir, a male hot fudge sundae?”
Me: “Yes, with nuts.”
😄 😄 😄
Why did the Star Wars movies come out in the sequence 4, 5, 6, 1, 2, 3?
Because in charge of sequence, Yoda was.
😄 😄 😄
What has four legs but can’t walk?
Half an octopus.
😄 😄 😄
A friend gave me a free guitar the other day, but I’ve been having trouble playing it.
I guess I can’t complain though, it’s not often someone just gives you something with no strings attached.
😄 😄 😄
How many social media marketers does it take to change a light bulb?
It’s not about the change, it’s about engaging people in conversations about the light bulb change.
😄 😄 😄
Isn’t ending a relationship with Taylor Swift the best way to make it more public?
You get a whole album.
😄 😄 😄
In history class, the teacher taught said the Magna Carta was signed in 1215 and to write an essay on it.
A student handed in his work with “The Magna Carta was signed in 1215” written 150 times.
The teacher asked the boy, “Why did you write this?”
The boy replied, “Because you always say that history repeats itself!”
😄 😄 😄
How many Microsoft programmers does it take to start the November 5th bonfire?
Zero. Microsoft declares darkness to be a new standard.
😄 😄 😄
Why don’t dogs make good dancers?
Because they have two left feet.
😄 😄 😄
Why did the toilet paper cross the road?
Because it was on a roll.
😄 😄 😄
If people want to learn more about witchcraft...
Do they go to Wiccapedia?
😄 😄 😄
The bathroom door at my workplace has a sign that reads “Please use toilet brush after using the toilet”.
Will it be okay to ask my employer to provide a softer brush so it hurts less?
😄 😄 😄
I want to trap you in my web and never let go.
😄 😄 😄
Did you hear about the optometrist who fell into his lens grinder?
He made a spectacle of himself.
😄 😄 😄
A guy is walking down the street with his friend.
He says to his friend, “I’m just a walking economy.”
His friend replies, “What do you mean?”
“It’s like this: My hairline is in recession, my stomach is a victim of inflation, and the combination of these factors is putting me into a deep depression.
😄 😄 😄
The Leaning Tower of Pisa is in Italy.
So it’s italicized!
😄 😄 😄
What is dog’s favorite breakfast?
Pooched eggs.
😄 😄 😄
Yo mama so ugly when she watches TV the channels change themselves.
😄 😄 😄
The politician gave a blue-sky speech full of promises.
😄 😄 😄
Why was Aunt May worried about Peter Parker?
He was spending too much time on the world wide web.
😄 😄 😄
