Knock! Knock!
“Who’s there?”
“Hosanna.”
“Hosanna, who?”
“Hosanna gonna fit down the chimney on Christmas Eve?”
😄 😄 😄
What does Dr. Frankenstein call the cemetery?
Human Resources.
😄 😄 😄
Knock! Knock!
“Who’s there?”
“Ice cream.”
“Ice cream, who?”
“Ice cream if you don’t let me in!”
😄 😄 😄
Roses are red, violets are blue.
I thought Voldemort was ugly, then I saw you.
😄 😄 😄
Yo daddy so fat when God said “let there be light”, he asked him to move out of the way.
😄 😄 😄
What dance do all astronauts know?
The moonwalk.
😄 😄 😄
How many songs do you need to write if you really want to make some money with them?
Four tunes.
😄 😄 😄
What do you call a tuna with a monocle?
Sofishticated.
😄 😄 😄
Memo from Director-General to Manager:
Today at 11 o’clock there will be a total eclipse of the sun. This is when the sun disappears behind the moon for two minutes.
As this is something that cannot be seen every day, time will be allowed for employees to view the eclipse in the car park.
Staff should meet in the car park at ten to eleven when I will deliver a short speech introducing the eclipse and giving some background information.
Safety goggles will be made available at a small cost.
Memo from Manager to Department Head:
Today at ten to eleven, all staff should meet in the car park. This will be followed by a total eclipse of the sun, which will disappear for two minutes.
For a moderate cost, this will be made safe with goggles.
The Director-General will deliver a short speech beforehand to give us all some background information. This is not something that can be seen every day.
Memo from Department Head to Floor Manager:
The Director-General will today deliver a short speech to make the sun disappear for two minutes in the eclipse.
This is something that can not be seen every day, so staff will meet in the car park at ten or eleven.
This will be safe if you pay a moderate cost.
Memo From Floor Manager to Supervisor:
Ten or eleven staff are to go to the car park, where the Director-General will eclipse the sun for two minutes.
This doesn’t happen every day. It will be safe, but it will cost you.
Memo from Supervisor to staff:
Some staff will go to the car park today to see the Director-General disappear.
It is a pity this doesn’t happen every day.
😄 😄 😄
What was the skinny scientist so excited about?
He just won the no-belly prize.
😄 😄 😄
Last Halloween there was a knock on the door.
I looked out of the window and then shouted upstairs to my wife, “Honey there’s a witch at the door. What shall I do?”
She shouted back, “Just give her some candy and tell her to get lost.”
My mother-in-law hasn’t spoken to me since.
😄 😄 😄
Girlfriend: “Darling, can I go out in this dress?”
Boyfriend: “Yes dear, it’s already dark out.”
😄 😄 😄
What do you call an extraterrestrial that speaks Portuguese?
A Brazalien.
😄 😄 😄
If a cowboy rides into town on Friday and three days later, leaves on Friday, how does he do it?
The horse’s name is Friday!
😄 😄 😄
I banged my bike against the wall today.
It was wheelie unfortunate.
😄 😄 😄
Where do hockey players go to get another uniform?
New Jersey.
😄 😄 😄
What did the underpaid data scientist say?
“I need arrays.”
😄 😄 😄
Why did the blonde throw her doll on the grill?
She heard it was a Barbie-que.
😄 😄 😄
In baseball, Spider-Man likes the outfield because in that position he catches the most flies.
😄 😄 😄
Why does August always get upset at the calendar?
Because it knows that summer is about to “fall” apart!
😄 😄 😄
