Roses are red,
Violets are blue,
Sugar is sweet,
And so are you.
The roses have wilted,
The violets are dead,
The sugar bowl is empty,
And so is your head.
😄 😄 😄
Can you hear the birds singing?
Good! That means you’re awake.
😄 😄 😄
Why should you take a pencil to bed?
To draw the curtains.
😄 😄 😄
It’s hard to have a serious conversation with an astronaut, you would think they would understand the gravity of the situation!
😄 😄 😄
Did you hear about the Wall Street investment banker who won $10 million in the lottery?
He’s so happy that he’s giving some serious thought to paying back his student loan.
😄 😄 😄
How did the English major define microtome on his biology exam?
An itsy bitsy book.
😄 😄 😄
Your mama so short she has to slam dunk her bus fare.
😄 😄 😄
Knock! Knock!
“Who’s there?”
“Warren.”
“Warren, who?”
“Warren anything green for St. Patrick’s Day?”
😄 😄 😄
Donut worry. Be happy!
😄 😄 😄
When my boss asked me why I showed up late for our Zoom meeting, I told him that he wouldn’t believe the network traffic.
😄 😄 😄
Yo mama so fat when she sat on a dollar bill she squeezed a booger out of George Washington’s nose.
😄 😄 😄
What is Spider-Man’s favorite exercise?
Spin class.
😄 😄 😄
A man was driving down the road and ran out of petrol. At that moment, a bee flew in his window.
“What seems to be the problem?” asked the bee.
“I’m out of petrol,” the man replied.
The bee told the man to wait right there and flew away.
Minutes later, the man watched as an entire swarm of bees flew to his car and into his petrol tank.
After a few minutes, the bees flew out.
“Try it now,” said the bee.
The man turned the ignition key and the car started right up.
“Wow!” the man exclaimed. “What did you put in my petrol tank?”
“BP,” answered the bee.
😄 😄 😄
If we’re not meant to have midnight snacks...
Why is there a light in the fridge?
😄 😄 😄
My physicist girlfriend told me that she loves me to the moon and back.
I’m worried she means displacement, not distance.
😄 😄 😄
I bought a boat, and named it “The Unpaid Intern”.
So now I tell people I have an unpaid intern-ship.
😄 😄 😄
A man went viral after making a TikTok video describing how to keep cool without any air conditioning.
He has a lot of fans.
😄 😄 😄
Yo mama’s back is so hairy it looks like she’s giving Chewbacca a piggyback ride.
😄 😄 😄
What do you call someone who has a lot of minions?
A minion-aire.
😄 😄 😄
I had to call an electrician out today after getting my finger stuck in the socket while trying to plug in my iPhone.
I can’t believe how much I was charged.
😄 😄 😄
