Why do java coders wear glasses?
Because they don’t C#.
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A few weeks ago, I ordered a box to store my money and a set of speakers online.
They arrived today, safe and sound.
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Yo mama is so old she trained Yada’s master in the force!
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Why did everybody think the cowboy was so funny?
Because he was always horsing around.
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What do you call a pencil with two erasers?
Pointless.
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I hope you like veggies cause I love you from my head tomatoes.
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What did the angry witch do while riding her broom?
She flew off the handle.
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Why do people hate to shave off their beards?
They’re naturally attached to it.
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You make me hap-pea.
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What do you call bacon with salt on it?
Salt and Peppa.
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How many registered nurses does it take to change a light bulb?
None, they’ll delegate it to the nursing assistants, but they’ll check the vital signs just in case.
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What does a bass guitar and a lawsuit have in common?
Everyone is relieved when the case is closed.
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How do you stop a warrior from charging?
Take away his credit card.
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Dating me is a lot like going to a yard sale.
At first, it looks interesting and enticing, until you get closer, take a look around and realize it’s just a bunch of shit you don’t need.
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I wish love is like a baby shampoo it has “No more tears formula”.
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What do you get if you cross a squirrel with an elephant?
An animal that remembers where it hid its nuts.
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How can you tell when April is happy?
It has a spring in its step.
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A guy walks into a café and orders a coffee to go.
The coffee gets up and leaves.
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I’m proud to announce I have stuck to my New Year’s resolution and did not bite my nails the entire month of January.
My feet have never looked better.
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Why did the Gen Z’er bring a ladder to the library?
To reach the highest shelf for the perfect Instagram shot.
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