Why wasn’t one of the gingerbread men decorated?
He wasn’t cut out for the job.
😄 😄 😄
How do you make the ice cream more expensive?
Just put it in the fridge longer. It will turn into a Cold Stone.
😄 😄 😄
You call it a bad sense of humor, I call it ‘pun-ctuality’.
😄 😄 😄
A marvelous morning to you, my friend.
You are someone who never quits, mainly because you never start.
😄 😄 😄
They say laughter is the best medicine.
I guess your face can cure the world.
😄 😄 😄
I saw a blue horse the other day.
I guess you could say it was a rare-colored mare.
😄 😄 😄
I’m not saying my wife is ugly... but on Halloween she went to tell the neighbors to turn their TV down and they gave her some candy.
😄 😄 😄
What flower loves to be in the sun?
Sunflower.
😄 😄 😄
One day you can be a morning person, but today is not that day.
It’s the afternoon.
😄 😄 😄
Seriously, people need to stop with the National Pi Day jokes.
I’ve heard them all like 3.14 million times already.
😄 😄 😄
A guy walks into a bar and orders a beer.
“How’s the New Year’s resolution coming?” the bartender asks.
“Great, I went to the gym today and I already lost 10 pounds,” the guy replies. “Seriously, I have no idea where I misplaced those weights.”
😄 😄 😄
How did the 30-year-old gardener celebrate their birthday?
By receiving a thirtree as a gift!
😄 😄 😄
Someday, when I’m a pun-sioner, I’d love to live in a pun-thouse on a pun-insula.
😄 😄 😄
He goes up to a lady and holds out his phone to her.
He: “Would you mind holding this for a second?”
He: “...Does my phone feel light to you?”
She: “I guess?”
He: “I knew it it’s been feeling light all day, and I just can’t figure out.”
He: “...I figured it out!”
She: “What?”
He: “It’s missing your number.”
😄 😄 😄
I really don’t understand why people tell 9/11 jokes.
What happened on the ninth of November?
😄 😄 😄
What do you call a pig thief?
A hamburglar.
😄 😄 😄
Teacher: “Class, choose between money and brain.”
Akpos: “I’d go for the money!”
Teacher: “I’d go for brain!”
Akpos: “Well, everybody goes for what he doesn’t have.”
😄 😄 😄
Mushrooms are the most virtuous of fungi...
they have the best morels.
😄 😄 😄
What do you call a flu that became a musician?
Achoo-bacca.
😄 😄 😄
What did the alien think of the anti-gravity book?
He couldn’t put it down!
😄 😄 😄
