Knock! Knock!
“Who’s there?”
“Venice.”
“Venice, who?”
“Venice Halloween candy coming out?!”
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I’m not really enjoying this space flight, I’d like to speak to the moon-agement!
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What do you call a Puerto Rican dish that’s not spicy?
A mistake.
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What’s brown and very bad for your dental health?
A baseball bat.
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How does Uranus apologize for being late?
It blames it on its orbit.
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I shouldn’t have had that leftover sushi.
I’m feeling a bit eel.
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I figured out the ending of Joker.
It’s the names of the people who worked on the movie.
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What do you call a man who stamps letters at the post office for a living?
Frank.
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Shouldn’t you be minding your business and looking out for low flying objects?
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If a crab worked in a pizza parlor, which station would it work?
The crust station.
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How can an artist fill in a CV?
Drawing from experience.
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What is the name of a skinny Pakistani cow?
A moo-slim.
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What do you call a Goldfish cracker laced with Coke?
The snack that’s also crack.
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“You’ll never guess who I saw hanging out together.”
“Who?”
“DEEZ NUTS!”
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Two eggs went for a comedy gig, guess what one egg said to the another?
Let’s get cracking.
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The child was a typical four-year-old girl—cute, inquisitive, and bright as a new penny.
When she expressed difficulty in grasping the concept of marriage, her father decided to pull out his wedding photo album, thinking visual images would help.
One page after another, he pointed out the bride arriving at the church, the entrance, the wedding ceremony, the recessional, the reception, etc.
“Now do you understand?” he asked.
“I think so,” she said. “That was when Mommy came to work for us?”
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What do you call a fire at the Internet café?
An e-mergency.
😄 😄 😄
Guess what the chop said to the steak on their first date?
It’s so nice to finally meat you!
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I have an archaeology exam tomorrow.
And it doesn’t matter if I pass or fail because either way my future’s in ruins.
😄 😄 😄
What did Microsoft employees say to Bill Gates after his motivational speech?
Word.
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