A man went on a business trip to China and wanted to buy some gifts for his kids.
He went to a shop and found a nice-looking VR set.
Wary of buying inferior goods, he asked the shopkeeper, “What happens if this doesn’t work?”
The shopkeeper quietly points to the only sign in English that reads, ‘GUARANTEE NO SPOILED’.
Feeling assured, he paid for the VR set and returns to his hotel.
He tried to use the VR set after returning to the hotel, but it wouldn’t even switch on.
He quickly returned to the shop and asked for a refund or an exchange for another unit.
When the shopkeeper refuses to give either, the man points to the sign assuring him of the guarantee.
The shopkeeper then said, “Brother, you are in China. We read from the right to the left.”
😄 😄 😄
What did the IKEA dresser say to the aliens after landing on their planet?
I come in pieces.
😄 😄 😄
The teacher asks her students, “What is the closest planet to Earth?”
The class all respond by yelling out, “The sun!”
Little Johnny then puts his hand up as says, “Uranus.”
The teacher looks confused and asks, “Why do you think that, Johnny?”
Little Johnny replies to her, “Because it is right behind you, Miss.”
😄 😄 😄
What kind of flu do Chinese people have?
Kung flu.
😄 😄 😄
I hosted an amazing party. We had tons of cheese, but ran out of crackers.
It was cracka-lackin
😄 😄 😄
Picked up a set of 20 Disney shorts on vinyl for only $30.
To be honest, though, I think they’d chafe less in cotton.
😄 😄 😄
It’s so hot that farmers are feeding ice to the chickens so they won’t lay boiled eggs.
😄 😄 😄
A lady was picking through the frozen turkeys at the grocery store for Thanksgiving Day, but couldn’t find one big enough for her family.
She asked a stock boy, “Do these turkeys get any bigger?”
Stock boy: “No, ma’am. They’re dead.”
😄 😄 😄
Where does a person with a beard put their beard clippings?
Their shavings account.
😄 😄 😄
I used to own a raven. It could speak English.
But the only word it could speak was “car”.
😄 😄 😄
Chuck Norris is the only one that can turn lemonade into lemons.
😄 😄 😄
Why do wolves howl at the moon?
Cause they don’t know how to use cell phones.
😄 😄 😄
Yo mamma’s so ugly they cut her Cantina scenes in Star Wars.
😄 😄 😄
I once accidentally poured glue in my son’s corn flakes.
He’s never talked to me again.
😄 😄 😄
TIL that, by law, you have to turn your headlights on when it’s raining in Sweden.
Who the hell is going to let me know when it’s raining in Sweden?!
😄 😄 😄
The best part about working in an office is that if you ever forget that you got a haircut, someone will definitely point it out to you.
😄 😄 😄
Love is a lot like peeing your pants.
Only you can feel the warm sensation from such an experience.
😄 😄 😄
What do you call a man who keeps vomiting?
Chuck.
😄 😄 😄
One fine day Ole decided to take Lena for a drive in his new car.
As they were driving through town, a policeman pulled them over and told Ole that he was doing 50 miles an hour in a 30 zone.
“Oh no,” Ole protested, “I was only doing tirty, officer.”
“No, you were doing fifty,” replied the cop.
“Really, officer, I was only doing tirty”, Ole replied stubbornly.
“Well,” bellowed the cop, “I clocked you doing FIFTY!”
At that point, Lena, sitting in the back seat and trying to be helpful, spoke up, “Officer, you really shouldn’t argue with Ole ben he’s been drinking.”
😄 😄 😄
What do you call 10 Dallas Cowboys fans on the moon?
A problem.
What do you call 100 Dallas Cowboys fans on the moon?
A problem.
What do you call 1000 Dallas Cowboys fans on the moon?
Still a problem.
What do you call all of the Dallas Cowboys fans on the moon?
PROBLEM SOLVED!
😄 😄 😄
