Why did the bearded prince marry Rapunzel?
He wanted a hairytale ending.
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What did the avocado do at the wedding?
Make a toast.
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I’ve just bought a new pair of spider silk trousers.
They look great, but the flies keep getting stuck.
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What did the skeleton bring to the potluck?
Spare ribs.
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What can you find in both medieval English castles and American art museums?
Norman Rock Wells.
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I like birthdays, but I think too many can kill you.
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What’s a donut’s favorite lullaby?
“Sprinkle, Sprinkle Little Star”.
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My crush told me, “Come over, no ones home.”
I went over... no one was home.
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I keep trying to get into horse racing, but they’re too fast for me.
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How did Helen Keller’s parents punish her?
By moving her bedroom’s furniture around.
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Why did the electrician marry his colleague?
He couldn’t resistor.
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What is the definition of breakfast?
What a driver does when a light suddenly changes.
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Knock! Knock!
“Who’s there?”
“Disguise.”
“Disguise, who?”
“Disguise your boyfriend!”
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What is the best college to apply to learn about solar radiation?
U.V. Ray.
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Why is everyone so tired on April 1st?
Because they just finished a 31-day march.
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What does a mom of a football fan hate the most?
A messi room.
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What did the blue paint brush say to the red paint brush?
“I blue you away.”
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I saw a lady in tears at the store.
She said she had lost an envelope with her tax refund inside.
I gave her 100$ because I felt sorry for her.
Plus I had just found about $1,600 in the parking lot.
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Always remember you’re unique, just like everyone else.
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Henning Brand discovered phosphorous by boiling urine.
That’s why they call it P.
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