What is God’s favorite guitar chord?
G-Sus.
😄 😄 😄
My wife gave me a haircut on the balcony outside today.
Cleanup was a breeze.
😄 😄 😄
What do you call a mushroom that goes into a bar and buys drinks for everyone all night long?
Fun-gi to be around!
😄 😄 😄
What do you call it when someone says it’s June in July?
Ju-lie.
😄 😄 😄
Never insult a donut.
Some of them have fillings.
😄 😄 😄
The moon is so cheeky, it’s always playing lunar-tricks.
😄 😄 😄
December is the worst time of the year for someone who is...
Claus-trophobic!
😄 😄 😄
Thanks! I hadn’t noticed.
😄 😄 😄
What do planets read?
Comet books!
😄 😄 😄
The teacher told all students to write an essay on a cricket match.
All were busy writing, except Santa.
He wrote: Due To Rain, No Match.
😄 😄 😄
Stephen Hawking is a very paranoid man.
He’s always looking over his shoulder.
😄 😄 😄
My son and I both have knee problems.
It is a joint issue.
😄 😄 😄
What do you do when you break your leg in two places?
Quit going to those two places!
😄 😄 😄
Why do otters sleep on their backs?
Because it’s otterly blissful.
😄 😄 😄
Yo mama so stupid she made an appointment with Dr Pepper.
😄 😄 😄
Last Thanksgiving, my mother told me, “If your brothers start arguing, don’t take sides.”
Sure enough, they yelled at each other and I could only have turkey.
😄 😄 😄
Doctor: “Yes, what is it I can do for you?”
Blond: “Doctor, yesterday, when I was doing my yoga, one of my friends told me that if I did this particular exercise, all my body’s blood would go into my head. But, when I stand, why doesn’t anyone say that all the blood would go into the legs?”
Doctor: “The fact’s your legs are not that hollow as your head is.”
😄 😄 😄
Good morning!
I hope you woke up on the right side of the bed...
Because I moved all the furniture to the left side.
😄 😄 😄
I didn’t always like mushrooms, but they’ve finally started to grow on me.
😄 😄 😄
I have a lot of experience catching women who’ve been thrown off their feet, feel free to fall.
😄 😄 😄
