Best Jokes (58)



Knock! Knock!

β€œWho’s there?”

β€œYoda.”

β€œYoda, who?”

β€œYoda one getting older today!”

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What’s the difference between North Korea and the USA?

In North Korea, power passes from grandfather to grandson.

In the USA, power passes from grandfather to grandfather.

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I asked Uranus about its love life.

And it replied, β€œIt’s complicated, I’m in a gas-tly relationship.”

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What do you call a bee that was born in the States?

A USB.

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My doctor must be a very visual person.

Whenever I have a cold he holds out my medication and says β€œvitamins, see”.

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There’s a hair in my wine.

The grapes must have been fur-mented.

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When Superman gets ready for bed, he puts on his Chuck Norris pajamas.

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So a mushroom walks into a bar.

The bartender says, β€œWe don’t serve mushrooms here. You’re always ruining jokes.”

The mushroom says, β€œCome on. I’m a fun-gi.”

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What’s the difference between a cow and a moose?

One moos, the other moose.

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Let’s go to Dunkin!

We need more hole foods!

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Why do moths like the light?

Because if they liked the dark they’d be goths.

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A small meteorite is reportedly headed for Legoland.

The damage is expected to be about 50 square blocks.

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Yo mama so stupid she made an appointment with Dr Pepper.

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Some aliens in a flying saucer offered to fly me to the moon.

But they wouldn’t let us land because the moon was full.

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How did the teacher find out that Shohag copied Danika’s exam paper?

Because when Danika said β€œI don’t know”, Shohag said β€œMe neither”.

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Got my friend an unnecessarily large rocket for bonfire night.

He’s over the moon!

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What do you call a dinosaur who sat on a cactus?

A megalo-sore-a.

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Why did the blueberry muffin get a ticket?

It wasΒ berryΒ speeding!

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I’m bald and I’m going to get a head tattoo of multiple rabbits.

So from a distance it looks like hares.

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How do you describe Neapolitan ice cream to someone?

Your two favorite flavors plus strawberry.

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