Why did the picture go to jail?
Because it was framed.
😄 😄 😄
Do you come from a family of math nerds?
If you do, then you have square roots!
😄 😄 😄
What do turkeys like to eat on Thanksgiving?
Nothing, they’re already stuffed.
😄 😄 😄
A boy was riding his bicycle, and he sees his mom on the porch.
He releases the handle and yells to his mom, “Look mom, no hands!”
His mom replies, “Be careful, honey.”
Then he releases his legs from the pedals and says, “Look mom, no legs!”
His mom replies more sternly, “Be careful, honey.”
The little boy then abruptly falls, to the dismay of his mom.
The boy slowly gets back up and says, “Look mom, no teeth!”
😄 😄 😄
Apparently, Jude Law has a vegetarian son.
Coles Law.
😄 😄 😄
What type of apartment does a pun live in?
The pun-thouse!
😄 😄 😄
First cannibal: “I can’t find anything to eat!”
Second cannibal: “But the jungle’s full of people.”
First cannibal: “Yes, but they’re all very unsavory.”
😄 😄 😄
One Sunny afternoon, two blondes walk down the street.
One of them suddenly points at the sun and says: “Look! That’s the moon over there!”
The other one says: “No, that’s the sun!”
The first one: “No, it’s the moon!”
The other one, again: “No, it’s the sun!”
After arguing for a while, the “smart” one says: “Let’s go to that house over there and ask, what’s right!”
They go to the house and ring the doorbell. Another blonde opens the door.
The “smart” one asks: “Excuse us, can you tell us, whether it’s the sun or the moon in the sky?”
The blonde looks and says: “I wouldn’t know! I’ve only been living here for two weeks!”
😄 😄 😄
I’ll just say “morning” because a good morning would be much later on a Saturday.
😄 😄 😄
What state has the most math teachers?
Math-achusetts.
😄 😄 😄
Chhattisgarh Minister: “The voters will get electric shock if they don’t vote/press the button for Congress.
Villagers: “At least, electricity will come under this pretext.”
😄 😄 😄
Knock! Knock!
“Who’s there?”
“Ice Cream Soda.”
“Ice Cream Soda, who?”
“Ice Cream Soda whole party can hear me.”
😄 😄 😄
Knock! Knock!
“Who’s there?”
“Baby owl.”
“Baby owl, who?”
“Baby owl see you later.”
😄 😄 😄
What do you call an Indian doctor who likes telling dad jokes and give flu shots?
Pun-Jabby.
😄 😄 😄
My girlfriend accused me of cheating.
I told her she was starting to sound like my wife.
😄 😄 😄
I found out today that some alligators grow up to 15 feet!
Most of them only have 4 though.
😄 😄 😄
How does a hairdresser stop themselves from cutting their own hair?
By sheer will.
😄 😄 😄
Why was Portugal the best colonial power?
Spain had thousands of colonists, Britain had millions, but Portugal had BRAZILIANS.
😄 😄 😄
I asked Uranus if it wanted to go for a walk.
And it replied, “Sure, just don’t stand behind me.”
😄 😄 😄
Why did the wolf take so long to cross the road?
It was pretending to be a snail.
😄 😄 😄
