What is Loki’s least favorite day of the week?
Thor’s Day.
😄 😄 😄
I just found out that the UK doesn’t have a kidney bank.
But at least it has a Liverpool.
😄 😄 😄
How do you make a pool table laugh?
Tickle its balls.
😄 😄 😄
Why do lemons use sun tan lotion?
Because if they don’t they’ll peel!
😄 😄 😄
The ice cream parlor asks for my order.
Parlor: “Hello Sir, can I take your order?”
Me: “Yes, I’d like a male hot fudge sundae please.”
Parlor: “I’m sorry Sir, a male hot fudge sundae?”
Me: “Yes, with nuts.”
😄 😄 😄
When does Christmas come before Thanksgiving?
In a dictionary.
😄 😄 😄
When the red panda got tired, it decided to take a koala-ty nap.
😄 😄 😄
How do you call a cow in Ramadan?
A Mooslim.
😄 😄 😄
Your sister is so fat her Apple Watch is an iPad Pro on a rope.
😄 😄 😄
Why didn’t the vampire bite Taylor Swift?
Because she had bad blood.
😄 😄 😄
What do you call a snake with no clothes on?
Snaked.
😄 😄 😄
What do you call a fish with no eyes?
Fsh.
😄 😄 😄
A guy in a plane stood up and shouted, “HIJACK!”
All the passengers got scared.
From the other end of the plane, a guy shouted back, “HI JOHN!”
😄 😄 😄
Did you hear about the baseball player who can spot a fast-food restaurant from miles away?
He leads the league in Arby eyes.
😄 😄 😄
Knock! Knock!
“Who’s there?”
After a very long pause.
“Java.”
😄 😄 😄
Where do pumpkins hold meetings?
In the gourdroom.
😄 😄 😄
A mother noticed her little daughter praying.
“Please, God,” the little girl kept saying, “Bless my father and my mother and make Melaka the capital city of Malaysia.”
“Why did you make such as strange request?” the mother asked.
“Because that’s what I wrote in my Geography test this morning!”
😄 😄 😄
Why aren’t people in recovery good dancers?
They lose interest after twelve steps.
😄 😄 😄
Where do chess grandmasters keep their pet snakes?
In a chesst.
😄 😄 😄
A yam and a hot dog are having a heart-to-heart.
Yam: “Can I be candied with you?”
Hot dog: “In that case, let me be frank.”
😄 😄 😄
