What do you call cheese thatβs not yours?
Nacho cheese.
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Which clients do short auditors like best?
Small businessmen.
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I bought a toilet brush since I saw one in pretty much everyoneβs bathroom.
But after giving it a try for a week I decided to go back to using toilet paper.
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Why do toadstools grow so close together?
They donβt need mush-room.
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What did the toaster say to the criminal bread?
βIβm taking you into crustody.β
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What did the Mama Hot Dog say to the little frankfurter?
Ketch-up!
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What does Spider-man wear when it gets cold out?
A Peter Parka.
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βItβs a long tale,β said the fox.
βIβm all ears,β said the elephant.
π π π
Mornings are all about pancakes and bacon.
Now, will you please wake up and make breakfast for me?
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Quarantine has been hard. Iβve run out of toilet paper, and have to use lettuce leaves.
Itβs only going to get worse, though... this is just the tip of the iceberg.
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My orthopedic surgeon has the bone-dacity to tell jokes during surgery.
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What goes up when April showers come down?
An umbrella.
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A Polish man calls 911.
Operator: β911, whatβs your emergency?β
Pole: βHelp! My wife is trying to kill me!β
Operator: βHow do you know?β
Pole: βI checked her medicine cabinet and found βPolish Removerβ!β
π π π
What are Michael Jacksonβs pronouns?
He/Hee.
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Itβs hotter than sports day in Africa out there.
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Chuck Norris recently had the idea to sell his pee as a canned beverage.
Itβs now called Red Bull.
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Why did the moon break up with Uranus?
It wanted someone with a brighter personality.
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My friend said he was going to start a feeling-blue club, but I declined.
Iβm more of an upbeat kind of person.
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What is a deerβs favorite boba flavor?
C-antelope!
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Want to hear something thatβll make you smile?
Your face muscles.
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