If you ever find yourself being attacked by a gang of clowns...
You should go straight for the juggler.
😄 😄 😄
What do you call a polar bear on the South Pole and another Polar Bear On The North Pole?
Polar Opposites.
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I saw an interview with Sean Connery about how he used to scuba dive for seafood.
He said, “Every time I saw a crab or lobster with a scrap of food, it was frantically searching for a place to hide, so it could eat alone. Then I thought to myself...
that’s shellfish.”
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My wife and I share a sense of humor.
We have to because she doesn’t have one.
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Girlfriend: “Do you have a date for Valentine’s Day?”
Boyfriend: “Yes, February 14th.”
😄 😄 😄
Why is it called “after dark” when it really is “after light”?
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Yo mama is so hot she makes the sun look like Antarctica.
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Chemist walks into a pharmacy and asks the pharmacist, “Do you have any acetylsalicylic acid?”
“You mean aspirin?” asked the pharmacist.
“That’s it! I can never remember that word.”
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It is my first time in court and I heard the judge shouting, “Order!”
So I replied, “Fried chicken, mac and cheese, and cola.”
Now I’m being escorted out by two officers. I think we are going to a restaurant.
😄 😄 😄
Can you guess what the calendar worker got fired for?
He took a day off without telling anyone!
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What do you call a sad strawberry?
A blueberry.
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What do you put in a female balloon?
Shelium.
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What do you call an Irish reptile?
Croc O’Dile.
😄 😄 😄
Chuck Norris doesn’t wear shoes to protect his feet from the ground.
He wears them to protect the ground from his feet.
😄 😄 😄
I think I am going to need knee surgery.
Every day I am with you, I fall for you all over again.
😄 😄 😄
Why did the rapper shave off his fancy mustache?
It couldn’t handle the bars.
😄 😄 😄
What do you call cheese that’s not yours?
Nacho cheese.
😄 😄 😄
Which clients do short auditors like best?
Small businessmen.
😄 😄 😄
I bought a toilet brush since I saw one in pretty much everyone’s bathroom.
But after giving it a try for a week I decided to go back to using toilet paper.
😄 😄 😄
Why do toadstools grow so close together?
They don’t need mush-room.
😄 😄 😄
