Yo daddy is so dumb he got hit by a parked car.
π π π
Why are people from New York always depressed?
Because the light at the end of the tunnel is always Jersey.
π π π
I found out why flamingos stand with one leg pulled up...
If they pulled up both legs, they would fall over.
π π π
How do you make Uranus laugh?
Just give it some gas!
π π π
The sun and moon walked into a coffee shop.
Sun: βOh man, I forgot my wallet!β
Moon: βDonβt worry, Iβll cover you.β
π π π
Why donβt flu viruses use social media?
They prefer going viral in person.
π π π
The moon has been talking for a long time now, I think itβs just moon-ologging at this point!
π π π
What is the common thing between an entrepreneur and a suicide bomber?
Do the job well on the first try and they are set for life.
π π π
Knock! Knock!
βWhoβs there?β
βIce cream.β
βIce cream, who?β
βIce cream if you throw me in the cold, cold water!β
π π π
Why was the turkey in the pop group?
Because he was the only one with drumsticks!
π π π
Why did the banana go to the hairdresser?
Because it had split ends.
π π π
Dev was a coder and wanted to marry a girl, but his parents opposed.
DEVELOPED.
π π π
Letβs be frank... youβre OLD!
π π π
Iβm thinking of switching my major to geology.
I think Iβd do well because I keep discovering a new rock bottom.
π π π
My girlfriend accused me of stealing her thesaurus.
Not only was I shocked, I was also aghast, appalled and dismayed.
π π π
What do you call a person who overuses emojis?
Β―\_(γ)_/Β―
π π π
Walking down the road last night, I passed an apple pie, an ice cream sundae, and a lemon cheesecake.
I thought, βThe streets are strangely desserted tonight.β
π π π
How do you ask a dinosaur if he wants a warm beverage?
βTea, Rex?β
π π π
What kinds of beer makes you urinate vowels?
IPAs.
π π π
Libya changed its plain green flag to a crescent moon, but I think theyβll change it back.
Itβs only a phase, after all.
π π π
