Every oven in the greasy hot dog restaurant was broken.
So the diners got a raw deal.
😄 😄 😄
Why is an alien like a collection of famous actors’ autographs?
They’ve both come from the stars.
😄 😄 😄
Did you know bees become indecisive after April?
They become maybees.
😄 😄 😄
I had a great conversation with a dolphin the other day.
We just... I don’t know. We just clicked.
😄 😄 😄
A brief rise in suicide is related to the Covid pandemic.
Murderers are working from home.
😄 😄 😄
Who tells the best egg jokes?
Comedi-hens.
😄 😄 😄
My father was an Allied war hero. He single-handedly destroyed 4 Messerschmitts, 9 Heinkel bombers, and 11 Stuka dive bombers.
He was the worst mechanic the Luftwaffe ever had.
😄 😄 😄
How many Puerto Ricans does it take to change a lightbulb.
Just Juan.
😄 😄 😄
What do you call the guy who draws pictures of criminal suspects?
A con artist.
😄 😄 😄
A crab walks into a bar.
The barman says, “I can’t serve you mate, you’re already walking sideways.”
😄 😄 😄
I told my girlfriend that if she wanted her Hersheys bar she had to bark like a dog.
After she did it, I proceeded to eat it explaining that chocolate wasn’t good for dogs.
😄 😄 😄
Two otters are going on a journey in a van. Who is driving?
Animal control.
😄 😄 😄
Patient: “Doctor, doctor! I’ve broken my arm in three places!”
Doctor: “Well, stop going to those places then.”
😄 😄 😄
What does a grape do with his grandchildren?
He is raisin them.
😄 😄 😄
When Chuck Norris opens an account they have to accept his terms and conductions.
😄 😄 😄
My boss fired me because of my lack of knowledge in regards to the workplace.
After a few hours I finally found the exit.
😄 😄 😄
What do farmers use to make crop circles?
A pro-tractor.
😄 😄 😄
What did Chuck Norris get when he visited the feminist rally for women’s rights?
He got his shirt ironed.
😄 😄 😄
While admiring some dinosaur bones in the Museum of Natural History, a tourist asks the guard, “How old are they?”
The guard replies, “They are 73 million, four years, and six months old.”
“That’s a rather exact number,” says the tourist. “How do you know their age so precisely?”
“Well,” answers the guard, “The dinosaur bones were seventy-three million years old when I started working here, and that was four and a half years ago.”
😄 😄 😄
Why do doctors hate popular Instagram accounts that only post in the spring?
Because they’re seasonal influencers.
😄 😄 😄
