What are the sun’s favorite chocolate bars?
A Milky Way.
😄 😄 😄
What happened to the cannibal who showed up late to Halloween dinner?
They gave him the cold shoulder.
😄 😄 😄
A guy with flame tattoo sleeves walks into a building.
Security stops him and says, “There are no firearms allowed in this building.”
😄 😄 😄
If a spider can bite you and make you a Spider-Man, can you bite me so I can be your man?
😄 😄 😄
What code does a depressed programmer write?
“Goodbye, world!”
😄 😄 😄
Somebody walks into an ice cream parlor and asks, “What flavors do you have?”
The attendant says, “Over there on the signs on the wall, you’ll see them all.”
Client goes, “Ehm, well I’ll have a cone with two scoops of ‘Mondays Closed’.”
😄 😄 😄
An Australian is aboard the wrong airplane.
The flight attendant approaches them and says, “I’m so sorry. I’m not sure how this mix-up happened, but this plane is arriving in an entirely different country than your intended destination.”
The Australian says, “No way.”
The flight attendant replies, “Sweden, actually.”
😄 😄 😄
Me: “Hello, 911? I want to report a hit-and-run.”
Dispatcher: “What was the make and model of the vehicle?”
Me: “It was a Lamborghini Silhouette.”
Dispatcher: “How do you spell that?”
Me: “Huh!? Sorry, I mean it was a BMW Z4.”
😄 😄 😄
What does a panda ghost eat?
Bam-BOO!
😄 😄 😄
Why did the coyote cross the road?
It was chasing the roadrunner.
😄 😄 😄
Where can you get 100% off on everything on Black Friday?
At home by not going out.
😄 😄 😄
What does a doctor call a colonoscopy?
An ANALysis.
😄 😄 😄
Generating all of our power from solar energy...
... it’s not going to happen overnight!
😄 😄 😄
Good morning!
I hope your day is as bright and beautiful as your bedhead.
😄 😄 😄
“Sir, I’m going to let you off with a warning.”
“Thank you so much, office.”
“April Fool… sign here.”
😄 😄 😄
At 11 am, my Boss asking me the status of work from home.
But at that time, I am trying to remember who is he.
😄 😄 😄
Knock! Knock!
“Who’s there?”
“Coal.”
“Coal, who?”
“Coal me when Santa’s on his way.”
😄 😄 😄
Did you hear about the Buddhist who refused a Novocain injection during root canal treatment?
He wanted to transcend dental medication.
😄 😄 😄
“Hi there, I heard that you are a huge fan of Dee.”
“Dee who?”
“DEEZ NUTS!”
😄 😄 😄
I said to my wife, “Did you hear my last pun?”
She replied, “I hope so!”
😄 😄 😄
