A lady decided to give herself a big treat for her 60th birthday by staying overnight in a really nice, luxurious hotel.
The following morning, she was appalled when the desk clerk gave her a bill for $250.00. She requested to know why the charge was too high.
“It’s a nice hotel, but the rooms certainly aren’t worth $250.00 for just an overnight stay! I didn’t even have breakfast,” she told the clerk.
The clerk clarified that $250.00 is the standard rate. At that point, the older lady insisted on talking with the manager.
The manager showed up and explained that the hotel has an Olympic-sized pool and a huge conference center which are available for use.
“But I didn’t use them,” the old woman said.
“Well, they are here, and you could have,” he replied.
The manager proceeded with that she could likewise have seen one of the in-hotel shows for which the hotel is famous.
“We have the best entertainers from the world over performing here,” he said.
“But I didn’t go to any of those shows,” she said.
The manager replied, “Well, we have them, and you could have.”
Regardless of what facility he recommended, the older lady would just answer, “But I didn’t use it!”
The manager then countered with his standard reaction. After several minutes of contending with him, she chose to pay.
The manager was shocked when she gave the check to him.
“But madam, this check is for only $50.00,” he said.
“That is right. I charged you $200.00 for sleeping with me,” the old lady replied.
“But I didn’t!” the manager shouted.
“Well, too bad, I was here, and you could have.”
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What do you call a sleep walking Nun?
A Roamin’ Catholic.
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What would you call a walking mosquito?
An itch-hiker.
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A day without ice cream is practically un-cone-stitutional.
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God initially planned to use wasps to pollinate flowers.
But in the end, he went with plan Bee.
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The glasses on the table were feeling neglected, so I gave them a spectacle of attention.
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Why do people believe in the flat Earth theory?
They hit their heads at the edge.
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What is the funniest candy of all?
A LOL-lipop.
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Why was ChatGPT bad at chess?
Because every time it said “check”, the system thought it was an error.
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How many Chelsea managers does it take to change a light bulb?
Nobody knows. The light bulb lasts longer than any manager.
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My older brother always tore the last pages of my comic books, and never told me why.
I had to draw my own conclusions.
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What do we learn from cows, buffaloes, and elephants?
It’s impossible to reduce weight by eating green grass and salads and walking.
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Why do driving instructors make good physical therapists?
Because they can teach fine motor skills.
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A boxer was throwing nothing but right hooks at a punching bag.
His trainer walked up and asked, “What gives?”
The boxer replied, “I’m exercising my rights.”
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What do peanuts wear on their feet?
Cashews.
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Your head is so big that when it rains, your body never gets wet.
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When Mario collects coins with his cap in Super Mario Odissey...
You for sure know he is very cappytalistic.
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Your mama so hot rangers banned her from National Parks for starting forest fires.
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Teacher: “I hope I didn’t see you looking at Tim’s exam paper.”
Pupil: “I hope you didn’t see me either!”
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I loved the first Shrek movie.
The second one was mediogre.
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