The child was a typical four-year-old girl—cute, inquisitive, and bright as a new penny.
When she expressed difficulty in grasping the concept of marriage, her father decided to pull out his wedding photo album, thinking visual images would help.
One page after another, he pointed out the bride arriving at the church, the entrance, the wedding ceremony, the recessional, the reception, etc.
“Now do you understand?” he asked.
“I think so,” she said. “That was when Mommy came to work for us?”
😄 😄 😄
What do bees use to build roads?
Nec-tar.
😄 😄 😄
A woman whose husband often came home drunk decided to cure him of the habit.
One Halloween night, she put on a devil suit and hid behind a tree to intercept him on the way home.
When her husband came by, she jumped out and stood before him with her red horns, long tail, and pitchfork.
“Who are you?” he asked.
“I’m the Devil!” she responded.
“Well, come on home with me,” he said, “I married your sister.”
😄 😄 😄
Why didn’t the shark want to fight the octopus?
Because he knew the octopus was well armed.
😄 😄 😄
A miracle drug is one that has now the same price as last year.
😄 😄 😄
What’s the stupidest element on the periodic table?
Silicon.
😄 😄 😄
What did the blue paint brush say to the red paint brush?
“I blue you away.”
😄 😄 😄
Knock! Knock!
“Who’s there?”
“Howard.”
“Howard, who?”
“Howard you like to sing Christmas carols with me?”
😄 😄 😄
My wife was talking about funeral plans.
My Wife: “I said we’ll give you a military send off like the sailors on a ship.”
Me: “I was in the Air Force.”
My Wife: “OK, we’ll toss you out of an airplane.”
😄 😄 😄
It has been said about tax:
“For doing wrong, you are taxed a fine.
For doing well, you are fined a tax.”
😄 😄 😄
You so ugly on Halloween someone said, “Scary costume!”
😄 😄 😄
The baby blue eyes were coldly warm.
😄 😄 😄
Why can’t violins finish a crossword puzzle?
Because violins never solved anything.
😄 😄 😄
My girlfriend accused me of stealing her thesaurus.
Not only was I shocked, I was also aghast, appalled and dismayed.
😄 😄 😄
What would Wonder Woman and Spider-Man name their business?
Amazon Web Services.
😄 😄 😄
Knock! Knock!
“Who’s there?”
“Coal.”
“Coal, who?”
“Coal me when Santa’s on his way.”
😄 😄 😄
A Muslim man told his wife that she needed to start embracing her mistakes.
So she gave him a hug.
😄 😄 😄
You’re so fat you got stuck when you dove into the Grand Canyon.
😄 😄 😄
He’s a blue-chip investment for any company.
😄 😄 😄
I hate early mornings, but I love waking you up.
😄 😄 😄
