You Jokes



Enjoy our team's carefully selected You Jokes. Laugh yourself and share the funniest jokes with your friends!



You Jokes


You’re so fat when you perch a penny, Lincoln screams.

πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„


You’re so fat the scale signals β€œI need a Break” when you move on it.

πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„


You’re so fat you can use Google Maps to find your own belly button.

πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„


You’re so fat when you visit the circus, they give you a job.

πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„


You’re so fat you got stuck when you dove into the Grand Canyon.

πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„


You’re so fat your shadow weight of your shadow is 50 pounds.

πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„


You’re so fat your neck is wider than your head.

πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„


You’re so fat that when you fell over, the ambulance had to bring a crane.

πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„


You’re so fat when you walk, everyone yells β€œEARTHQUAKE!!”.

πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„


You’re so fat that the only job interview question they ask is if you can fit through the door.

πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„


You’re so fat that when you get on a scale, it says β€˜We don’t do livestock’.

πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„


You’re so fat the only thing to compare you to is an elephant.

πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„


You’re so fat you can’t even see your own feet.

πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„


You are so fat when you walk with your friends it looks like they are orbiting you.

πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„


You’re so fat you wake up on both sides of the bed in the morning.

πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„


You so dumb you tried to put a key in your computer’s keyboard.

πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„


You are so dumb you thought a thesaurus was a kind of dinosaur.

πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„


You are so dumb you returned a puzzle because it was broken.

πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„


You are so dumb you tripped over a wireless connection.

πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„


You are so dumb you asked what the capital of Paris was.

πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„


You are so dumb you tried to alphabetize M&Ms.

πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„


You’re so dumb that you thought a quarterback was a refund.

πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„


You so dumb can never find your race results because you search for β€œme”.

πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„


You so dumb you have to stop during track workouts to ask for directions.

πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„


You so dumb you once tried to exchange a bib number because you thought the whole thing was printed upside down.

πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„


You so dumb you don’t run on singletrack because you’re married.

πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„


You so dumb every time you do a fartlek, you say β€œexcuse me”.

πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„


You so dumb you think intermittent fasting is a kind of speedwork.

πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„


You’re so ugly when you sit in the sand, the cats try to bury you.

πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„


You so ugly on Halloween someone said, β€œScary costume!”

πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„


You so ugly your mum ran up the stairs of the hospital when you were born and jumped off the roof.

πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„


Your so ugly when you were born your mom said, β€œOh, what a treasure!”

And your dad said, β€œYeah, le’ts bury it.”

πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„


You so ugly your mama had morning sicknesses after you were born.

πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„


You’re so stupid they had to burn down the school to get you out of 3rd grade.

πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„


You’re so stupid you tried to drown a fish.

πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„


You’re so old you have hieroglyphics on your driver’s license.

πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„


You’re so old George Washington cut down your Christmas tree.

πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„


You’re so old your first car was a covered wagon.

πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„


You so ugly when who were born the doctor threw you out the window and the window threw you back.

πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„


You are so ugly if they laid you on the beach, not even the tide would take you.

πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„


You are so ugly when you looked in the mirror your reflection walked away.

πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„


You’re so ugly...

You are the reason Star Wars takes place in a galaxy far far away!

πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„


Just been shopping with the wife, and out of the nowhere she shouted, β€œYOU ARE SO BLOODY LAZY!”

I was so surprised I almost fell out of the trolley.

πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„


You are so ugly that when your mom dropped you off at school, she got a ticket for littering.

πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„


I told my wife, β€œYou are so skinny!”

Then I grabbed her by the love handles and said, β€œJust look at all this skin.”

πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„


















© 2022-2023 jokes.best