Wooden Jokes

Enjoy our team's carefully selected Wooden Jokes. Laugh yourself and share the funniest jokes with your friends!

Wooden Jokes

I tried to make a wooden submarine.

It didnโ€™t go down so well.

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A man drove by a farm every day on his way to work, and he always saw a pig in the front yard.

One morning on his way in, he noticed the pig had a wooden leg. It was odd, but he put it out of his mind.

A couple of weeks later, he saw the pig had a second wooden leg. No longer able to contain his curiosity, we stopped by the next day on his way home and knocked on the farmerโ€™s door.

An old man answered, and he asked him about the pig with the wooden legs. The old man thought for a few minutes before answering.

โ€œWell, son, let me tell you about this here pig.

One day I was out plowing in the back forty, and my tractor hit a rut. It tipped over and trapped me under it. I was pinned down and slowly pushed into the mud, where I knew I was going to be smothered and die.

This pig saw what happened, ran back to the farm, and made a huge ruckus. Then, when people came out to see what was going on, he led them to me.

Yep, that pig saved my life that day.โ€

The man agreed that was an amazing story, but he still didnโ€™t understand about the wooden legs.

The old farmer thought some more, then told him another story.

โ€œWell, a couple of nights ago, my wife and I were sleeping in the house when the barn caught fire. The wind was kicking up, and it was spreading to the main house.

If it werenโ€™t for that there pig banging on the windows and squealing and raising Cain, we would have died in that fire.

Pig saved our lives, no doubt about it.โ€

The man was flabbergasted, โ€œSir, I will grant you that is a marvelous animal, but I still donโ€™t understand why it has two wooden legs?โ€

The old farmer looked out into the yard and nodded to the pig, โ€œSon, you must be a city boy, because everybody knows a pig that good, you donโ€™t eat all at once.โ€

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I got a wooden bike with wooden handles and wheels. Guess what?

It woo-den start.

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A man with a wooden eye is at a dance.

During a slow dance, he canโ€™t find a partner to dance with him.

He sees from the opposite side of the dance floor a girl with a large nose.

Seeing that she is also without a dance partner, he makes his move.

He approaches her and is frank with her, asking, โ€œWould you dance with me?โ€

Filled with excitement, she yells, โ€œWould I!โ€

Without missing a beat, the man retorts, โ€œBIG NOSE BIG NOSE BIG NOSE!!!โ€

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Where can you find a pirate who has lost his wooden legs?

Right where ye left him!

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