Wheelchair Jokes

Enjoy our team's carefully selected Wheelchair Jokes. Laugh yourself and share the funniest jokes with your friends!

Wheelchair Jokes

A man has been drinking alone in a pub all day and checks his watch.

β€œ1:30 a.m.! I need to get home now or my wife will rip my balls off,” he tells himself. But as he tries to stand, he stumbles to the floor.

β€œI’m just way too drunk right now, and I need to sober up.”

So he asks the bartender for a coffee, drinks it, and 30 minutes later tries to stand up, but falls to the floor again, this time harder.

At this time, he understands he has no choice but to return home, so he begins crawling toward his house.

He arrives after 40 minutes, lays down next to his (asleep) wife, and passes out.

The next morning, his wife wakes him up and asks, β€œSo... how was last night, huh?” Was it fun to drink all day?”

The man is certain his wife was asleep when he arrived home, so he plays it cool, β€œNot really, just hanging out with some coworkers.We didn’t drink much, just a couple of beers.”

The woman starts nodding sarcastically and responds, β€œThe bar owner called this morning, your wheelchair’s there, you idiot.”

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Why do people use wheelchairs?

Cause they can’t stand walking anymore.

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Do you know what they say about wheelchairs?

People can’t stand being in them.

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Why can’t people in wheelchairs be looked at for too long?

They can’t handle stares.

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Did you hear about the worst faith healer ever?

He was so bad, a man in a wheelchair got up and walked out.

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Yo mama so fat she needs a CDL to drive her wheelchair.

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Why are people in wheelchairs always getting taken advantage of?

Because they’re easy to push around and never stand up for themselves.

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What do you call a mermaid in a wheelchair?

Sushi roll.

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My girlfriend dumped me, so I stole her wheelchair.

Guess who came crawling back.

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