What’s The Difference Between Jokes



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What’s The Difference Between Jokes


What’s the difference between a physician and a preschool teacher?

One has a job with patients, the other has the patience of job.

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What’s the difference between retail workers and turkeys?

We let the turkey rest on Thanksgiving.

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What’s the difference between a beautiful night and a horror night?

Beautiful night is when you hug your teddy bear and sleep.

Horror night is...

When your teddy bear hugs you BACK.

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What’s the difference between a fire wizard and someone who flirts with pastries?

One is a Pyromancer, the other is a pie-romancer.

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What’s the difference between North Korea and the USA?

In North Korea, power passes from grandfather to grandson.

In the USA, power passes from grandfather to grandfather.

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What’s the difference between a lawyer and a terrorist?

Terrorists have sympathizers.

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What’s the difference between an architect and an engineer?

If architects built all the buildings, they would fall down on their own.

If engineers built all the buildings, they’d be so ugly, we’d tear them all down.

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What’s the difference between a doctor and an architect?

An architect’s mistakes are there for the world to see, but a doctor buries their mistakes.

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What’s the difference between a cow and a moose?

One moos, the other moose.

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What’s the difference between me and a camel?

A camel can work all week without drinking, I can drink all week without working.

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How do you tell the difference between an alligator and a crocodile?

You will see one later and one in a while.

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What’s the difference between Election Day and Thanksgiving Day?

On Thanksgiving, you get a turkey for the day.

On Election Day, you get a turkey for four years.

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What is the difference between a cookie and a cracker.

Cookies don’t care if you pull down a civil war statue.

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What’s the difference between men and pigs?

Pigs don’t turn into men when they drink.

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“Do you know the difference between a fly and an elephant?”

“No.”

“Wow! You’d better see somebody then.”

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What’s the difference between snowmen and snowwomen?

Snowballs.

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What’s the difference between science and religion?

Science flies you to the moon while religion flies you into buildings.

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What is the difference between a smart blonde and a UFO?

There have been sightings of UFOs.

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What’s the difference between E.T. and an illegal alien?

E.T. learned English and wanted to go home.

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Guess the difference between a hot dog and a corn dog?

One’s stuck up, while the other is laid back!

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You need to understand the difference between want and need.

Like I want abs, but I need donuts.

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What’s the difference between stormtroopers having a party and mushrooms being picked?

One’s bad guys having a fun time and the other one’s fungi having a bad time!

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What’s the difference between praying in church and at the track?

At the track you really mean it!

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What’s the difference between love and marriage?

Love is one long, sweet dream and marriage is the alarm clock.

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What’s the difference between a teacher and a train?

The teacher says “Spit your gum out!” and the train says “Chew, chew!”

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What’s the difference between an orchestra and a bull?

On the bull the horns are in the front and the asshole is in the back.

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What’s the difference between a poorly dressed man on a bicycle and a nicely dressed man on a tricycle?

A tire.

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