What Do You Call Jokes
Enjoy our team's carefully selected What Do You Call Jokes. Laugh yourself and share the funniest jokes with your friends!
What do you call dental X-rays?
Tooth pics.
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What do you call a pile of kittens?
A meowntain.
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What do you call a pencil with two erasers?
Pointless.
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What do you call a doctor who fixes websites?
A URL-ologist.
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What do you call a dog with 2 legs?
Snoop Dogg.
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What do you call an alligator wearing a vest?
An investigator.
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What do you call a sleeping dinosaur?
A dinosnore.
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What do you call a nosy pepper?
Jalapeño business.
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What do you call a man with a rubber toe?
Roberto.
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What do you call a dinosaur with no eyes?
Doyathinkysaurus.
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What do you call a fish with 4 eyes?
A fiiiish.
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What do you call a dog with no legs?
Doesn’t matter what you call him, he ain’t gonna come.
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What do you call a cow with three legs?
Tri-tip.
What do you call a cow with no legs?
Ground Beef.
What do you call a cow with two legs?
Your mom!
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What do you call a fake noodle?
An impasta.
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What do you call a potato that has turned to the Dark side?
Vader Tots.
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What do you call two Han Solos singing together?
Han Duet.
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What do you call someone doing yoga with the flu?
Sick and twisted.
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What do you call a Scottish girl with a fake tan in an Indian restaurant?
A mango lassie.
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What do you call a dog that herds watermelons?
A Melon Collie.
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What do you call a Jewish fish?
Isra-eel.
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What do you call a mermaid in a wheelchair?
Sushi roll.
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What do you call an animal found under the avocado tree?
A guaca-mole.
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What do you call it when someone hits avocados repeatedly with a hammer?
Gu-whack-a-mole-e.
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People that don’t eat meat are called vegetarians, but what are people that don’t eat vegetables?
Constipated.
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What do you call it when one chickpea murders another?
Hummus-cide.
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What do you call someone who’s really into stationary biking?
A cyclepath.
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What do you call cheese that’s not yours?
Nacho Cheese.
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What do you call a Hispanic man who spilled his nachos?
A messycan.
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What do you call tortilla chips with guns?
Loaded Nachos.
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What do you call a row of trucks hauling nachos?
A cheesy pickup line.
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What do you call a religious animal that loves sandwiches?
The Deli Llama.
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What do you call a single kernel of corn?
A uni-corn.
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What do you call a retired old cowboy?
De-ranged.
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Guy 1: “What do you call a deer with no eyes?”
Guy 2: “... what?”
Guy 1: “No ideer.”
Guy 1: “What do you call a deer with no eyes and no legs?”
Guy 2: “... what?”
Guy 1: “Still no ideer.”
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What do you call it when you walk into a tea shop and feel like you’ve been there before?
Déja-brew.
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What does a predator call a hummingbird?
Fast food!
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What did they call the first person to bake a pie?
A pie-oneer.
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What do you call a pig thief?
A hamburglar.
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What do you call bacon with salt on it?
Salt and Peppa.
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What do you call a cat in the desert?
Sandy Claws!
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What do you call a Goldfish cracker laced with Coke?
The snack that’s also crack.
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What do you call people with big ears?
Nothing, they might hear you.
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What do you call a Chevrolet parked at the top of a hill?
A miracle.
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What do you call someone who can’t stick with a diet?
A desserter.
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What do you call someone who’s happy on Mondays?
Retired!
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What do you call a desert-dwelling witch?
A sand-witch.
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What do you call a haunted chicken?
A poultry-geist.
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What do you call six witches in a Jacuzzi?
A self-cleaning coven.
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What do you call a skeleton who lays around all day?
Lazy bones.
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What do you call an old snowman?
Water.
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What do you call a snowman made of yellow snow?
The “inedible snowman”.
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What do you call a pumpkin that can slam-dunk a basketball?
Michael Gourdan.
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What do you call a dog with a fever?
Hot dog.
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What do you call a sea of hot dogs?
Frank Ocean.
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What did the people call the bad hot dog stand?
The WURST!
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What do you call a guy with no arms and legs in a hot dog bun?
Frank.
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What do you call a saw that cuts hot dogs?
Sawsage.
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What do you call a candid hot dog?
A frankfurter.
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What do you call a claim that a guy could eat a foot long hot dog in two bites?
Hard to swallow.
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What do you call a hot dog race?
Wiener takes all.
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What do you call a frozen frankfurter?
A chili dog.
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What do you call a hot dog with nothing inside it?
A hollow-weenie!
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What do you call Spider-Man with 20 eyes?
Spiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiider-Man.
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If Spider-Man suddenly runs out of web when he’s chasing bad guys, what is he called?
Peter Parkour.
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What do you call it when Spider-Man is involved in a love triangle?
A tangled web.
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What do you call Spider-Man joining the Marvel Universe?
A Spin-Off.
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What did people start calling Spider-man when he started to stop minding his own business and started interfering in others?
Nosy Parker.
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What do you call it when Spider-Man defeats Iron Man?
Tony Stuck.
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What do you call Spider-Man when he quits The Daily Bugle and starts working as a valet?
Peter PARKER.
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What do you call Spider-Man when he parks his car?
Peter PARKER.
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What would you call if Spider-Man starts jumping around buildings instead of swinging using his spider webs?
Peter Parkour.
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What is the 7th pin in bowling called?
Mother-In-Law!
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What do you call a triumphant procession held by the bowling pins?
A perfect strike.
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What do you call a blood-sucking arachnid on the moon?
A lunar tick.
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What does for call the moon after a bat flies into it?
A blood moon!
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What do you call a snowman in summer?
A puddle.
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What do you call a cantaloupe in a swimming pool?
A watermelon.
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What do you call a line of men waiting to get a haircut?
A barberqueue!
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What do you call a spaceship with a faulty air-conditioning unit?
A frying saucer!
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What do you call an alien that lives in a bog?
A marsh-in!
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What do you call an alien with three eyes?
An aliiien!
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What do you call alien eggs?
Eggstra-terrestrials!
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In honor of Area 51, what do you call too many aliens in one place?
Extra terrestrials.
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What do aliens call an American who couldn’t cross the road?
A flat earther.
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What do you call an alien with no eyes?
Alen.
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What do you call the rocks kids covered in chocolate?
Coco pebbles.
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What does a neckbeard call a woman he meets at a fast food joint?
McLady.
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What did the man with a beard call his pottery shop?
Hairy Potter.
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What do you call a goat with a beard?
A goatee.
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What do you call a person really crazy about the moon?
A lunatic.
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What do you call a crazy moon?
Lunacy.
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What do you call a lazy man in space?
A procrastronaut.
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What do you call a rampaging cow under the full moon?
Udder lunacy.
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What do you call a meal from the moon?
A satellite dish.
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What do you call a clock on the moon?
A lunar-tick!
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If they used money in space, guess what it would be called?
Starbucks!
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Guess what you call a sleeping piece of paper?
A napkin.
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Guess what Santa calls his elves?
Subordinate Clauses!
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Guess what you call someone who never falls down the stairs?
A stair-voyant.
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Guess what you call an alligator wearing a vest?
An investigator!
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Two monkeys are sharing an Amazon account, guess what are they called?
Prime mates.
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What do you call a fish with no eyes?
Fsh.
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A famous tortoise lives next door. Guess what it’s called?
A shell-ebrity.
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What would you call a cute and sassy donut?
Glazing adoughrable.
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What do you call a pastry that is a priest?
A Holy Donut.
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What do you call a cute donut?
Adoughrable.
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What do you call an underwater Dunken’ Donuts?
Sunken Donuts.
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What do you call a kilogram of donuts?
Property of obesity.
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What do cops call it when they’re called out to the local donut bakery?
Bread Alert!
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What do you call the phenomenon where nobody can hear you on Zoom?
A Mute-ation.
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What do you call a sausage who’s been sunbathing all day?
Done!
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What is sun-bathing called in northern Spain?
Basqueing.
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What do you call a female horse that refuses to work while the sun is up?
A Nightmare!
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What do you call a man with no body and no nose?
Nobody nose.
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What do you call a picture of a mushroom with no arms, legs or head?
A stalk photo.
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What do you call a mushroom that has nothing nice to say?
A shii-talkin mushroom.
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What do you call when you mix brandy, shiitake mushrooms, rat poison and a dash of vanilla essence?
The ambulance.
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What do you call a lady who enjoys mushrooms?
A fun-gal.
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What do you call a mushroom that goes into a bar and buys drinks for everyone all night long?
Fun-gi to be around!
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What do you call a pharmacist working at a veterinary drug company?
A FARM-ASSIST.
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What would you call the alarm clock, which always goes off at 2 am every day?
A ringing nightmare.
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What do you call it when an elf takes a photo of himself?
Nothing! Elves don’t exist!
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What do you call people who were born on Friday the 13th?
By their names.
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What do you call a pirate with both eyes and all his limbs?
A rookie.
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What do you call a financial controller who always works through lunch, takes two days holiday every two years, is in the office every weekend, and leaves every night after 10 p.m.?
Lazy.
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What do you call a gigantic polar bear?
Nothing, you just run away!
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What do you call a man who falls overboard and can’t swim?
Bob.
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What do you call a woman with a frog on her head?
Lilly.
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What do you call a man who stamps letters at the post office for a living?
Frank.
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What do you call a man who has cat scratches all over his face?
Claude.
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What do you call a man who fixes potholes for a living?
Phil.
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What do you call a lady who is hanging from a roof?
Eve.
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What do you call a man who is always sitting on the toilet?
Lou.
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What do you call a man who is unable to stand up?
Neal.
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What do you call a man who keeps vomiting?
Chuck.
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What do you call a man who is always stealing stuff?
Rob.
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Once there was a bear with no ears, guess what they call it?
A “B”.
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What do you call London without electricity?
Londoff.
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What do you call a Ford Fiesta that ran out of gas?
A Ford Siesta.
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What do you call a bear with no teeth?
Gummybear.
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What do you call a sleeping bull?
A bulldozer.
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What do you call a pig that does karate?
A pork chop.
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What would the Terminator be called in his retirement?
The Exterminator.
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What is the first day of the week called in outer space?
Moon-day!
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What do you call a witch’s garage?
A broom closet.
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What do you call a cow in an earthquake?
A milkshake!
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