What Do You Call Jokes



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What Do You Call Jokes


What do you call a girl standing in the middle of a volleyball court?

Annette.

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What do you call a Puerto Rican with a rubber toe?

Roberto.

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What do you call a Puerto Rican dish that’s not spicy?

A mistake.

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What do you call a Puerto Rican without a car?

Carlos.

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What is it called when two mummies fart at the same time?

Toot-in-common.

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What do you call a small, yellow onion?

A Min-ion.

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What do you call someone who has a lot of minions?

A minion-aire.

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What do minions call their grandmothers?

Ba-nanas.

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Why are they called the armed forces?

Because it’s hard to fight a war with just your legs.

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What do you call violent mermaids?

Mercenaries.

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What do you call a mermaid on a roof?

Aerial.

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What do you call tea made with weed and koala bears?

A High Koala Tea Beverage.

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What do you call an electrocuted Dark Lord?

A Volt-demort.

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What do you call a left-handed woman with a gunshot wound in her right arm?

An ambulance.

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What do you call a beautiful woman on a bass player’s arm?

A tattoo.

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What do you call a bass player who broke up with his girlfriend?

Homeless.

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What do you call two ducks who walk like, act like, and believe they are geese?

A paradux.

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What do you call a psychic gnome that just committed a hit and run?

A small medium at large.

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What do you call a person who overuses emojis?

¯\_(ツ)_/¯

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What do you call a gangster who wears eyeliner?

An emoji.

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What do you call a detective electrician?

Sherlock Ohms.

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What do you call a dragon with no wings?

Draggin.

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What do you call dental X-rays?

Tooth pics.

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What do you call a pile of kittens?

A meowntain.

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What do you call a pencil with two erasers?

Pointless.

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What do you call a doctor who fixes websites?

A URL-ologist.

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What do you call a dog with 2 legs?

Snoop Dogg.

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What do you call an alligator wearing a vest?

An investigator.

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What do you call a sleeping dinosaur?

A dinosnore.

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What do you call a nosy pepper?

Jalapeño business.

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What do you call a man with a rubber toe?

Roberto.

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What do you call a dinosaur with no eyes?

Doyathinkysaurus.

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What do you call a fish with 4 eyes?

A fiiiish.

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What do you call a dog with no legs?

Doesn’t matter what you call him, he ain’t gonna come.

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What do you call a cow with three legs?

Tri-tip.

What do you call a cow with no legs?

Ground Beef.

What do you call a cow with two legs?

Your mom!

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What do you call a fake noodle?

An impasta.

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What do you call a potato that has turned to the Dark side?

Vader Tots.

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What do you call two Han Solos singing together?

Han Duet.

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What do you call someone doing yoga with the flu?

Sick and twisted.

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What do you call a Scottish girl with a fake tan in an Indian restaurant?

A mango lassie.

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What do you call a dog that herds watermelons?

A Melon Collie.

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What do you call a Jewish fish?

Isra-eel.

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What do you call a mermaid in a wheelchair?

Sushi roll.

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What do you call an animal found under the avocado tree?

A guaca-mole.

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What do you call it when someone hits avocados repeatedly with a hammer?

Gu-whack-a-mole-e.

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People that don’t eat meat are called vegetarians, but what are people that don’t eat vegetables?

Constipated.

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What do you call it when one chickpea murders another?

Hummus-cide.

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What do you call someone who’s really into stationary biking?

A cyclepath.

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What do you call cheese that’s not yours?

Nacho cheese.

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What do you call a Hispanic man who spilled his nachos?

A messycan.

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What do you call tortilla chips with guns?

Loaded Nachos.

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What do you call a row of trucks hauling nachos?

A cheesy pickup line.

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What do you call a religious animal that loves sandwiches?

The Deli Llama.

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What do you call a single kernel of corn?

A uni-corn.

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What do you call a retired old cowboy?

De-ranged.

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Guy 1: “What do you call a deer with no eyes?”

Guy 2: “... what?”

Guy 1: “No ideer.”

Guy 1: “What do you call a deer with no eyes and no legs?”

Guy 2: “... what?”

Guy 1: “Still no ideer.”

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What do you call it when you walk into a tea shop and feel like you’ve been there before?

Déja-brew.

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What does a predator call a hummingbird?

Fast food!

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What did they call the first person to bake a pie?

A pie-oneer.

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What do you call a pig thief?

A hamburglar.

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What do you call bacon with salt on it?

Salt and Peppa.

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What do you call a cat in the desert?

Sandy Claws!

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What do you call a Goldfish cracker laced with Coke?

The snack that’s also crack.

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What do you call people with big ears?

Nothing, they might hear you.

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What do you call a Chevrolet parked at the top of a hill?

A miracle.

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What do you call someone who can’t stick with a diet?

A desserter.

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What do you call someone who’s happy on Mondays?

Retired!

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What do you call a desert-dwelling witch?

A sand-witch.

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What do you call a haunted chicken?

A poultry-geist.

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What do you call six witches in a Jacuzzi?

A self-cleaning coven.

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What do you call a skeleton who lays around all day?

Lazy bones.

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What do you call an old snowman?

Water.

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What do you call a snowman made of yellow snow?

The “inedible snowman”.

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What do you call a pumpkin that can slam-dunk a basketball?

Michael Gourdan.

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What do you call a dog with a fever?

Hot dog.

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What do you call a sea of hot dogs?

Frank Ocean.

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What did the people call the bad hot dog stand?

The WURST!

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What do you call a guy with no arms and legs in a hot dog bun?

Frank.

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What do you call a saw that cuts hot dogs?

Sawsage.

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What do you call a candid hot dog?

A frankfurter.

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What do you call a claim that a guy could eat a foot long hot dog in two bites?

Hard to swallow.

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What do you call a hot dog race?

Wiener takes all.

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What do you call a frozen frankfurter?

A chili dog.

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What do you call a hot dog with nothing inside it?

A hollow-weenie!

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What do you call Spider-Man with 20 eyes?

Spiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiider-Man.

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If Spider-Man suddenly runs out of web when he’s chasing bad guys, what is he called?

Peter Parkour.

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What do you call it when Spider-Man is involved in a love triangle?

A tangled web.

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What do you call Spider-Man joining the Marvel Universe?

A Spin-Off.

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What did people start calling Spider-man when he started to stop minding his own business and started interfering in others?

Nosy Parker.

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What do you call it when Spider-Man defeats Iron Man?

Tony Stuck.

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What do you call Spider-Man when he quits The Daily Bugle and starts working as a valet?

Peter PARKER.

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What do you call Spider-Man when he parks his car?

Peter PARKER.

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What would you call if Spider-Man starts jumping around buildings instead of swinging using his spider webs?

Peter Parkour.

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What is the 7th pin in bowling called?

Mother-In-Law!

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What do you call a triumphant procession held by the bowling pins?

A perfect strike.

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What do you call a blood-sucking arachnid on the moon?

A lunar tick.

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What does for call the moon after a bat flies into it?

A blood moon!

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What do you call a snowman in summer?

A puddle.

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What do you call a cantaloupe in a swimming pool?

A watermelon.

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What do you call a line of men waiting to get a haircut?

A barberqueue!

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What do you call a spaceship with a faulty air-conditioning unit?

A frying saucer!

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What do you call an alien that lives in a bog?

A marsh-in!

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What do you call an alien with three eyes?

An aliiien!

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What do you call alien eggs?

Eggstra-terrestrials!

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In honor of Area 51, what do you call too many aliens in one place?

Extra terrestrials.

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What do aliens call an American who couldn’t cross the road?

A flat earther.

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What do you call an alien with no eyes?

Alen.

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What do you call the rocks kids covered in chocolate?

Coco pebbles.

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What does a neckbeard call a woman he meets at a fast food joint?

McLady.

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What did the man with a beard call his pottery shop?

Hairy Potter.

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What do you call a goat with a beard?

A goatee.

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What do you call a person really crazy about the moon?

A lunatic.

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What do you call a crazy moon?

Lunacy.

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What do you call a lazy man in space?

A procrastronaut.

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What do you call a rampaging cow under the full moon?

Udder lunacy.

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What do you call a meal from the moon?

A satellite dish.

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What do you call a clock on the moon?

A lunar-tick!

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If they used money in space, guess what it would be called?

Starbucks!

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Guess what you call a sleeping piece of paper?

A napkin.

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Guess what Santa calls his elves?

Subordinate Clauses!

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Guess what you call someone who never falls down the stairs?

A stair-voyant.

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Guess what you call an alligator wearing a vest?

An investigator!

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Two monkeys are sharing an Amazon account, guess what are they called?

Prime mates.

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What do you call a fish with no eyes?

Fsh.

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A famous tortoise lives next door. Guess what it’s called?

A shell-ebrity.

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What would you call a cute and sassy donut?

Glazing adoughrable.

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What do you call a pastry that is a priest?

A Holy Donut.

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What do you call a cute donut?

Adoughrable.

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What do you call an underwater Dunken’ Donuts?

Sunken Donuts.

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What do you call a kilogram of donuts?

Property of obesity.

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What do cops call it when they’re called out to the local donut bakery?

Bread Alert!

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What do you call the phenomenon where nobody can hear you on Zoom?

A Mute-ation.

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What do you call a sausage who’s been sunbathing all day?

Done!

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What is sun-bathing called in northern Spain?

Basqueing.

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What do you call a female horse that refuses to work while the sun is up?

A Nightmare!

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What do you call a man with no body and no nose?

Nobody nose.

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What do you call a picture of a mushroom with no arms, legs or head?

A stalk photo.

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What do you call a mushroom that has nothing nice to say?

A shii-talkin mushroom.

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What do you call when you mix brandy, shiitake mushrooms, rat poison and a dash of vanilla essence?

The ambulance.

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What do you call a lady who enjoys mushrooms?

A fun-gal.

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What do you call a mushroom that goes into a bar and buys drinks for everyone all night long?

Fun-gi to be around!

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What do you call a pharmacist working at a veterinary drug company?

A FARM-ASSIST.

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What would you call the alarm clock, which always goes off at 2 am every day?

A ringing nightmare.

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What do you call it when an elf takes a photo of himself?

Nothing! Elves don’t exist!

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What do you call people who were born on Friday the 13th?

By their names.

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What do you call a pirate with both eyes and all his limbs?

A rookie.

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What do you call a financial controller who always works through lunch, takes two days holiday every two years, is in the office every weekend, and leaves every night after 10 p.m.?

Lazy.

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What do you call a gigantic polar bear?

Nothing, you just run away!

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What do you call a man who falls overboard and can’t swim?

Bob.

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What do you call a woman with a frog on her head?

Lilly.

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What do you call a man who stamps letters at the post office for a living?

Frank.

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What do you call a man who has cat scratches all over his face?

Claude.

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What do you call a man who fixes potholes for a living?

Phil.

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What do you call a lady who is hanging from a roof?

Eve.

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What do you call a man who is always sitting on the toilet?

Lou.

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What do you call a man who is unable to stand up?

Neal.

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What do you call a man who keeps vomiting?

Chuck.

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What do you call a man who is always stealing stuff?

Rob.

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Once there was a bear with no ears, guess what they call it?

A “B”.

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What do you call London without electricity?

Londoff.

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What do you call a Ford Fiesta that ran out of gas?

A Ford Siesta.

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What do you call a bear with no teeth?

Gummybear.

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What do you call a sleeping bull?

A bulldozer.

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What do you call a pig that does karate?

A pork chop.

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What would the Terminator be called in his retirement?

The Exterminator.

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What is the first day of the week called in outer space?

Moon-day!

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What do you call a witch’s garage?

A broom closet.

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What do you call a cow in an earthquake?

A milkshake!

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