Enjoy our team's carefully selected Violist Jokes. Laugh yourself and share the funniest jokes with your friends!
Why don’t violists play hide and seek?
Because no one will look for them.
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How can you tell when a violist is playing out of tune?
The bow is moving.
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Why do violists stand for long periods outside people’s houses?
They can’t find the key, and they don’t know when to come in.
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How many viola players does it take to change a lightbulb?
None. They can’t reach that high.
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My wife stopped me on the way out the door with my viola case in hand.
Wife: “Where do you think you’re going?”
Me: “I got a gig.”
Wife: “A gig? I thought all your gigs got canceled?”
Me: “I got a new one.”
Wife: “Who hires a violist when we’re all quarantined?”
Me: “The health department. They want me to walk down the street playing my viola to get everyone to run inside and shut their windows.”
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A viola player goes into a music shop.
The shop assistant asks what he would like.
The viola player says, “Well, I’ve been playing the viola for years and I’m getting really tired of everyone pointing and laughing and acting like I don’t know the first thing about music, so I’m thinking about taking up another instrument.”
“Do you know what you’d like to play?” asks the assistant.
The viola player says, “I’m not sure yet. Is it all right if I have a look around for a while?”
Of course the assistant says that would be just fine.
So after ten minutes or so the viola player comes up to the desk and says, “I think I’ve made my decision. I’d like to buy the bagpipes you have by the door, and the big white accordion.”
The assistant says, “Let me just go and see the manager.” He goes and sees the manager.
He comes back and says, “The manager says you can have the fire extinguisher for £49.99, but the radiator’s not for sale.”
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