Viola Jokes

Enjoy our team's carefully selected Viola Jokes. Laugh yourself and share the funniest jokes with your friends!

Viola Jokes

How is a viola different from an onion?

No one cries when you cut up a viola.

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What did the violin say when it finally played the music correctly?


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How do you keep a violin from being stolen?

Put it in a viola case.

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How many viola players does it take to change a lightbulb?

None. They can’t reach that high.

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What’s the difference between a viola and a trampoline?

You take your shoes off before jumping on a trampoline.

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My wife stopped me on the way out the door with my viola case in hand.

Wife: β€œWhere do you think you’re going?”

Me: β€œI got a gig.”

Wife: β€œA gig? I thought all your gigs got canceled?”

Me: β€œI got a new one.”

Wife: β€œWho hires a violist when we’re all quarantined?”

Me: β€œThe health department. They want me to walk down the street playing my viola to get everyone to run inside and shut their windows.”

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How does a viola greet a relative?


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What is the difference between a violin and a viola?

A viola burns longer.

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A viola player goes into a music shop.

The shop assistant asks what he would like.

The viola player says, β€œWell, I’ve been playing the viola for years and I’m getting really tired of everyone pointing and laughing and acting like I don’t know the first thing about music, so I’m thinking about taking up another instrument.”

β€œDo you know what you’d like to play?” asks the assistant.

The viola player says, β€œI’m not sure yet. Is it all right if I have a look around for a while?”

Of course the assistant says that would be just fine.

So after ten minutes or so the viola player comes up to the desk and says, β€œI think I’ve made my decision. I’d like to buy the bagpipes you have by the door, and the big white accordion.”

The assistant says, β€œLet me just go and see the manager.” He goes and sees the manager.

He comes back and says, β€œThe manager says you can have the fire extinguisher for Β£49.99, but the radiator’s not for sale.”

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