Jokes on Vegetarians



Enjoy our team's carefully selected Vegetarian Jokes. Laugh yourself and share the funniest jokes with your friends!



Vegetarian Jokes


How did the cannibal turn over a new leaf?

He became a vegetarian.

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What do you call a vegetarian with diarrhea?

A Salad Shooter.

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Pessimists are like German vegetarians.

They fear the wurst.

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Why did Dracula become a vegetarian?

Because his doctor said steaks were bad for his heart.

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To what would you change the name of a kid named Hunter if he becomes a vegetarian?

Gatherer.

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What do vegetarians say when they meet someone new?

Nice to vegetable you.

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Where do vegetarian vampires live?

Plantsylvania.

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People that don’t eat meat are called vegetarians, but what are people that don’t eat vegetables?

Constipated.

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If two vegetarians have a heated argument, can it still be called β€œbeef”?

Nah, it’s just a case of two people who have bad β€œtempehs.”

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Being a vegetarian in Germany is so difficult.

It’s the wurst.

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Apparently, Jude Law has a vegetarian son.

Coles Law.

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What car does a German vegetarian drive?

A Volks-vegan.

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If vegetarians eat vegetables... what do humanitarians eat?

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Can vegetarians eat animal crackers?

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What do you call it when one chickpea murders another?

Hummus-cide.

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Why did the tofu cross the road?

To prove he wasn’t chicken.

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I decided that becoming a vegetarian was a missed steak.

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Why did the vegetarian cross the road?

Because she was protesting for the chicken.

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What did one vegetarian say to the other vegetarian?

We have to stop meating like this.

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Did you hear about Bruce Lee’s vegetarian brother?

His name was Brocco Lee.

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Did you know β€œVegetarian” is a Native American word?

It means β€œLousy Hunter”.

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Why did the vegetarian hot dog cross the road?

To prove he wasn’t chicken!

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At the party, the vegetarian girl won’t eat the mushrooms reason being, somebody told her that they were oyster mushrooms.

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