Enjoy our team's carefully selected Vegetarian Jokes. Laugh yourself and share the funniest jokes with your friends!
My brother is a lacto-ovo-pesco-pollo-carne-vegetarian.
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My non-vegetarian friend told me to eat chicken, it’s very healthy.
I said no, it WAS healthy, but you ate it.
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How did the cannibal turn over a new leaf?
He became a vegetarian.
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What do you call a vegetarian with diarrhea?
A Salad Shooter.
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Pessimists are like German vegetarians.
They fear the wurst.
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Why did Dracula become a vegetarian?
Because his doctor said steaks were bad for his heart.
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To what would you change the name of a kid named Hunter if he becomes a vegetarian?
Gatherer.
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What do vegetarians say when they meet someone new?
Nice to vegetable you.
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Where do vegetarian vampires live?
Plantsylvania.
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People that don’t eat meat are called vegetarians, but what are people that don’t eat vegetables?
Constipated.
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If two vegetarians have a heated argument, can it still be called “beef”?
Nah, it’s just a case of two people who have bad “tempehs.”
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Being a vegetarian in Germany is so difficult.
It’s the wurst.
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Apparently, Jude Law has a vegetarian son.
Coles Law.
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What car does a German vegetarian drive?
A Volks-vegan.
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If vegetarians eat vegetables... what do humanitarians eat?
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Can vegetarians eat animal crackers?
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What do you call it when one chickpea murders another?
Hummus-cide.
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Why did the tofu cross the road?
To prove he wasn’t chicken.
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I decided that becoming a vegetarian was a missed steak.
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Why did the vegetarian cross the road?
Because she was protesting for the chicken.
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What did one vegetarian say to the other vegetarian?
We have to stop meating like this.
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Did you hear about Bruce Lee’s vegetarian brother?
His name was Brocco Lee.
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Did you know “Vegetarian” is a Native American word?
It means “Lousy Hunter”.
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A guy is sitting outside on a bench eating a burger when a woman comes out of a Subway store with a salad bowl.
She walks over to the guy and angrily says to him, “You know, a cow died somewhere, so you could enjoy that burger. What do you think of that, hmm?”
As quick as a flash, he looks up at her and replies, “It’s a shame for sure, but maybe if you weren’t eating its food, that cow might have lived.”
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Why did the vegetarian hot dog cross the road?
To prove he wasn’t chicken!
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At the party, the vegetarian girl won’t eat the mushrooms reason being, somebody told her that they were oyster mushrooms.
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