Enjoy our team's carefully selected Vegan Jokes. Laugh yourself and share the funniest jokes with your friends!
Vegan: “Hey, try eating this apple.”
Meat-eater: “Hey, this tastes pretty good.”
Vegan: “Well, that’s because it’s vegan.”
Meat-eater: “I thought it tasted it a bit funny.”
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Vegan: “People who sell meat are gross!”
Non-vegetarian: “People who sell fruits and vegetables are grocer.”
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What do vegans get instead of bird flu?
Toflu.
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What’s the hardest part about being a vegan?
It is getting up at 4.30am to milk the almonds.
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Yo mama so vegan and fat she ate a meal and got arrested for deforestation.
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Why do vegans lose their eyesight earlier than meat-eaters?
From reading all those tiny ingredient labels.
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What’s the difference between a vegan and a computer programmer?
One is disgusted by a rack of lamb and the other is disgusted by a lack of RAM.
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What car does a German vegetarian drive?
A Volks-vegan.
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What do you call it when one chickpea murders another?
Hummus-cide.
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Why did the tofu cross the road?
To prove he wasn’t chicken.
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A guy is sitting outside on a bench eating a burger when a woman comes out of a Subway store with a salad bowl.
She walks over to the guy and angrily says to him, “You know, a cow died somewhere, so you could enjoy that burger. What do you think of that, hmm?”
As quick as a flash, he looks up at her and replies, “It’s a shame for sure, but maybe if you weren’t eating its food, that cow might have lived.”
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I love vegan food!
It makes an excellent side dish to any meat.
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What’s a vegan’s favorite non-terrestrial moon in the solar system?
En-salad-us.
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Being vegan is so easy that I literally just stare at the sun and I’m satisfied.
Thanks, photosynthesis.
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