Vampire Jokes



Enjoy our team's carefully selected Vampire Jokes. Laugh yourself and share the funniest jokes with your friends!



Vampire Jokes


Why don’t vampire’s make good artists?

Because all they draw is blood.

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I knew a vampire who was trying to become an actor.Β He gave it his best shot, but ended up retraining.

He just couldn’t find a role he could sink his teeth into.

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Where did the vampire teacher throw the Teachers’ Day party?

In Pencilvania.

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What do vampires play bingo with?

Stake money.

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Where do vegetarian vampires live?

Plantsylvania.

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Patient: β€œDoctor, I think that I’ve been bitten by a vampire.”

Doctor: β€œDrink this glass of water.”

Patient: β€œWill it make me better?”

Doctor: β€œNo, but I’ll be able to see if your neck leaks.”

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What did the vampire say to his hungry friend?

Don’t B-negative. Look for more positive.

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Do you want to invest in my startup company to destroy all vampires?

I’m the main stakeholder.

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What is a vampire’s worst fear?

Tooth decay.

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What happens if you combine a vampire and a snowman?

You get frostbite.

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Why is the woman afraid of the vampire?

Because he is all bite and no bark.

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My wife really is the sunshine of my life.

Too bad I’m a vampire.

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When do vampires like horse racing?

When it’s neck and neck.

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