Uncle Jokes



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Uncle Jokes


My uncle always refused to obey his controlling wife.

He was defy-aunt.

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β€œAm I mentioned in the will?” the nephew asked anxiously.

β€œYou certainly are,” replied the lawyer. β€œRight here in the third paragraph, your uncle says: To my niece Sarah, I bequeath a hundred thousand dollars, to my cousin Janice fifty thousand dollars, and to my nephew Charles, who was always curious to know if he was mentioned in my will, I say β€˜Hi, Charles’.”

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My uncle was crushed by a piano.

His funeral was very low key.

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My great uncle Chuck started the Elf on a Shelf tradition.

Well, actually he was a drunk on a bunk, but we toned it down for the kids.

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You know what they say about Anti Jokes?

She’s married to Uncle Jokes.

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What is Spider-Man’s favorite brand of rice?

Uncle Ben’s.

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Boss: β€œDo you believe in life after death?”

Employee: β€œNo, because there is no proof of it.”

Boss: β€œWell there is now!”

Employee: β€œHow?”

Boss: β€œWhen you left yesterday saying that you have to go to your uncle’s funeral, your uncle came here looking for you after you left.”

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How can you tell if an ant is a boy or a girl?

They’re all girls! If they were boys, they’d be uncles.

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