Enjoy our team's carefully selected Turtle Jokes. Laugh yourself and share the funniest jokes with your friends!
A turtle is crossing the road when he’s mugged by two snails.
When the police show up, they ask him what happened.
The shaken turtle replies, “I don’t know. It all happened so fast.”
😄 😄 😄
Why did the turtle cross the road?
To get to the Shell station.
😄 😄 😄
What do you get if you cross a turtle with a giraffe and a kangaroo?
A turtle neck jumper.
😄 😄 😄
How do turtles communicate with each other?
With shell phones.
😄 😄 😄
My pet turtle died.
I’m not upset—just shell-shocked.
😄 😄 😄
Four turtles were celebrating their 40th birthdays together, when they ran out of ice cream.
They decided the biggest one—Fred—should go to the store and get more. Fred went into the bedroom to get some money.
The rest of them waited for Fred to come back, but after a couple of days they started getting frustrated.
The smallest one said, “Poor Fred. Ever since he turned 40 he’s really getting slow.”
A voice from the bedroom said, “If you’re gonna start saying bad things about me behind my back, l’m not even going!”
😄 😄 😄
It’s amazing that Leonardo da Vinci could paint and invent and still find time to be a crime-fighting turtle.
😄 😄 😄
What do you get when you cross a turtle and an alpaca?
A turtleneck sweater.
😄 😄 😄
What do you call a talking turtle?
A cartoon.
😄 😄 😄
