Turtle Jokes



Enjoy our team's carefully selected Turtle Jokes. Laugh yourself and share the funniest jokes with your friends!



Turtle Jokes


A turtle is crossing the road when he’s mugged by two snails.

When the police show up, they ask him what happened.

The shaken turtle replies, β€œI don’t know. It all happened so fast.”

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Why did the turtle cross the road?

To get to the Shell station.

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What do you get if you cross a turtle with a giraffe and a kangaroo?

A turtle neck jumper.

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How do turtles communicate with each other?

With shell phones.

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My pet turtle died.

I’m not upsetβ€”just shell-shocked.

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Four turtles were celebrating their 40th birthdays together, when they ran out of ice cream.

They decided the biggest oneβ€”Fredβ€”should go to the store and get more. Fred went into the bedroom to get some money.

The rest of them waited for Fred to come back, but after a couple of days they started getting frustrated.

The smallest one said, β€œPoor Fred. Ever since he turned 40 he’s really getting slow.”

A voice from the bedroom said, β€œIf you’re gonna start saying bad things about me behind my back, l’m not even going!”

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It’s amazing that Leonardo da Vinci could paint and invent and still find time to be a crime-fighting turtle.

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What do you get when you cross a turtle and an alpaca?

A turtleneck sweater.

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What do you call a talking turtle?

A cartoon.

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