Turkey Jokes



Enjoy our team's carefully selected Turkey Jokes. Laugh yourself and share the funniest jokes with your friends!



Turkey Jokes


What sound does a turkey’s phone make?

β€œWing, wing.”

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What’s something usually insulting, but not on Thanksgiving?

A family member giving you the bird.

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What do you call rain on Turkey Day?

Fowl weather.

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Don’t ever attend Thanksgiving with a group of comedians.

They’ll never stop roasting the turkey.

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So a housewife is preparing Thanksgiving dinner when her husband comes in, and she asks, β€œAre you hungry, dear?”

And the turkey answers, β€œNo, I’m stuffed.”

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The EU was invited to a Thanksgiving dinner.

But they refused to have turkey.

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I tried to post a Thanksgiving joke about turkeys.

But it was removed because of fowl language.

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My family asked me to stop telling Thanksgiving jokes.

I told them I couldn’t stop cold turkey.

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Every year, after Thanksgiving, I give up all my bad habits.

I can do it because I have lots of cold turkey.

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What did the turkey say to the turkey hunter on Thanksgiving Day?

β€œQuack! Quack!”

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Did you know that they don’t serve Thanksgiving leftovers at rehab?

People there are trying to quit cold turkey.

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So this chicken walks up to a turkey and says, β€œHey, turkey! I’ve always wondered something…”

Turkey’s like, β€œYeah. What’s up?”

And so the chicken says, β€œThat thing. You know, that flap of skin or whatever that’s hanging down over your beak. What do you call that thing?”

And the turkey crosses his eyes and looks down and says, β€œBeak? What beak?”

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Chicken to turkey:

β€œOnly Thanksgiving and Christmas? You’re lucky, with us it’s any Sunday.”

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Why did the turkey cross the road?

It was Thanksgiving Day, and it wanted people to think it was a chicken!

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What did the turkeys sing on Thanksgiving Day?

God save the kin.

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What’s the best dance to do on Thanksgiving?

The turkey trot.

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In what country is Thanksgiving ironically not celebrated?

Turkey.

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At Thanksgiving, my brother tried to carve the turkey with a grapefruit spoon.

He’s not the sharpest knife in the drawer.

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What did the turkey say during Thanksgiving?

It was too stuffed to say anything.

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Who is never hungry on Thanksgiving?

The turkey, because he’s already stuffed.

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I was going to smoke a turkey this Thanksgiving.

But they banned flavored vapes.

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What do you call a turkey after Thanksgiving?

Lucky.

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Why are the cranberries red?

They saw the turkey dressing!

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What kind of key is edible?

A turkey on Thanksgiving.

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Last Thanksgiving, my mother told me, β€œIf your brothers start arguing, don’t take sides.”

Sure enough, they yelled at each other and I could only have turkey.

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Did you hear about the two turkeys who got into a fight?

They beat the stuffing outta each other.

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Why did the band hire a turkey as a drummer?

Because he had the drumsticks!

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Did you hear about the Thanksgiving turkey that tried to escape the roasting pan?

He was foiled.

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How are wives like Thanksgiving turkeys?

They eventually get fat and then stop gobbling.

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Did you hear that I won the Thanksgiving turkey cookoff?

You butterball-ieve it.

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What is a bad bowler’s favorite holiday?

Thanksgiving because they finally get a turkey.

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What did the Mandalorian say about how to cook the Thanksgiving turkey?

β€œβ€¦This is the way.”

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What if the Indians would have given the Pilgrims a donkey instead of a turkey?

We’d all be having a piece of ass for Thanksgiving.

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What did the man tell his friends who asked for his secret to preparing the turkey for Thanksgiving?

β€œEasy, I tell the bird he is going to die.”

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Did you hear about the guy who checks into rehab the day after Thanksgiving?

He couldn’t quit cold turkey.

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What’s the best thing about Thanksgiving in Bulgaria?

Bulgaria is next to Turkey and Greece.

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Why don’t the Greeks, Slavs, and Armenians celebrate Thanksgiving?

Because they don’t like Turkey.

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What’s the difference between retail workers and turkeys?

We let the turkey rest on Thanksgiving.

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Yo mama so old she ate Dodo on his first Thanksgiving.

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Why do some people not like a Thanksgiving joke about turkeys?

Because of fowl language.

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Why was the UN concerned when the waiter dropped Thanksgiving dinner?

Because it meant the fall of turkey, the ruin of grease, and the breakup of china.

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Remember the guy who used to be addicted to Thanksgiving leftovers?

He had to quit cold turkey.

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What does an English turkey say to another English turkey on Thanksgiving morning?

β€œTo be roasted or not to be roasted, that is the question.”

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Which country has the worst air force?

Turkey. None of them can fly.

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Why did the Pilgrims eat turkey on Thanksgiving?

They couldn’t get the moose in the oven!

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Why did the turkey cross the road?

To prove he wasn’t chicken.

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Why do turkeys love Thanksgiving?

Because they don’t have to worry about buying Christmas presents.

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I shot my first Thanksgiving turkey this year.

Scared the hell out of everyone else in the grocery store.

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Why did the Pilgrim kill the turkey?

Because he was in a fowl mood.

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A lady was picking through the frozen turkeys at the grocery store for Thanksgiving Day, but couldn’t find one big enough for her family.

She asked a stock boy, β€œDo these turkeys get any bigger?”

Stock boy: β€œNo, ma’am. They’re dead.”

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When asked to write an essay on what he was thankful for on Thanksgiving, Little Johnny wrote:

I am thankful I am not a turkey.

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What do turkeys like to eat on Thanksgiving?

Nothing, they’re already stuffed.

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What’s the key to a great Thanksgiving dinner?

The turkey.

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What’s the difference between Election Day and Thanksgiving Day?

On Thanksgiving, you get a turkey for the day.

On Election Day, you get a turkey for four years.

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What did the dad turkey say to his stubborn child?

β€œIf your mother could see you now, she’d be turning over in her gravy.”

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Why was the turkey in the pop group?

Because he was the only one with drumsticks!

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I recently heard that Turkeys aren’t allowed to play baseball.

No matter how many times they hit, they’ll always hit Fowl balls.

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Who is never hungry at Christmas?

The turkeyβ€”he’s always stuffed.

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