Trucking Jokes

Enjoy our team's carefully selected Trucking Jokes. Laugh yourself and share the funniest jokes with your friends!

Trucking Jokes

A Sunday school teacher of preschoolers told her students that she wanted each of them to have learned one fact about Jesus by the next Sunday.

The following week, she asked each child in turn what he or she had learned.

Susie said, “He was born in a manger.” Bobby said, “He threw the money changers out of the temple.”

Little Johnny said, “He has a red pickup truck but he doesn’t know how to drive it.”

Curious, the teacher asked, “And where did you learn that, Johnny?”

“From my daddy,” said Johnny. “Yesterday we were driving down the highway, and this red pickup truck pulled out in front of us and daddy yelled at him, ‘Jesus Christ! Why don’t you learn how to drive?!’”

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A farmer named Rick had a car accident.

In court, the trucking company’s lawyer was questioning Rick. “Didn’t you say, at the moment of the accident, ‘I’m fine’,” asked the lawyer?

Rick responded, “Well, I’ll tell you what happened. I had just loaded my favorite mule, Bessie, into the...”

“I did not ask you for any details,” the lawyer interrupted. “Just answer the question. Did you not say, at the scene of the accident, ‘I’m fine’?”

Rick said, “Well, I had just got Bessie into the trailer, and I was driving down the road.”

The lawyer interrupted again and said, “Judge, I’m trying to establish the fact that, at the scene of the accident, this man told the highway patrolman on the scene that he was just fine. Now several weeks after the accident he is trying to sue my client. I believe he is a fraud. Please tell him to simply answer the question.”

By this time, the judge was fairly interested in Rick’s answer and said to the lawyer, “I’d like to hear what he has to say about his favorite mule, Bessie.”

Rick thanked the judge and proceeded. “Well, as I was saying, I had just loaded Bessie, my favorite mule, into the trailer and was driving down the highway when this huge semi-truck and trailer ran the stop sign and smacked my truck right in the side. I was thrown into one ditch and Bessie was thrown into the other.

I was hurting real bad and didn’t want to move. However, I could hear old Bessie moaning and groaning. I knew she was in terrible shape just by her groans.

When the highway patrolman came on the scene he could hear Bessie moaning and groaning so he went over to her. After he looked at her and saw her near fatal condition, he took out his rifle and shot her between the eyes.

Then the patrolman came across the road, rifle still in hand, looked at me and said ‘how are you feeling?’. Now, what the heck would YOU say?”

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A trucker stops for a red light one day and notices a blonde in the car behind.

She jumps out of her car, runs up to his truck, and knocks on the door.

The trucker lowers the window, and the blonde says to him, “Hi, my name’s Julie, and I thought you should know you’re losing some of your load.”

The trucker just ignores her, raises the window, and proceeds down the street as the light changes.

A short while later he has to stop for another red light. The blonde in the car is still behind him.

Again, she jumps out of her car, runs up, and knocks on the door. Again, the trucker lowers the window.

As if they’ve never spoken before, the blonde says brightly, “Hi, my name’s Julie, and I thought you should know you’re losing some of your load!”

The trucker shakes his head but apart from this, he ignores her again. He raises the window and drives on as the red light changes.

At the third red light, the same thing happens again.

At the fourth red light, the trucker jumps out of his truck and runs back to the blonde’s car. He knocks on the window and she lowers it.

The trucker says, “Hi, my name’s Steve, it’s winter in Canada, and I’m driving the salt truck!”

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A trucker gets lost one day and as luck would have it he comes to a low bridge and gets stuck under it. The cars are backed up for miles behind him.

Eventually, a cop car pulls up. The cop gets out and walks around to the truck driver.

He puts his hands on his hips and says to him, “Got stuck huh, sir?”

The trucker replies, “No, I was delivering this bridge and ran out of gas.”

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A farmer was driving along the road with a load of fertilizer.

A little boy playing in front of his house saw him and called, “What’ve you got in your truck?”

“Fertilizer,” the farmer replied.

“What are you going to do with it?” asked the little boy.

“Put it on strawberries,” answered the farmer.

“You ought to live here,” the little boy advised him. “We put sugar and cream on ours!”

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Ole and Lena are out at the lake, getting ready to put the boat in the water. Lena driving and Ole standing in the pickup bed.

The brakes fail as Lena’s backing the boat into the lake, and the truck submerges.

Lena swims out the open window, but Ole doesn’t come up for the longest time.

Finally, up pops Ole. Lena asks him, “What took you so long?”

Ole replies, “Oh, you know, that tailgate is hard to open!”

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A farmer has transported his watermelons to a roadside stand to sell.

At the end of the day there are a couple hundred left, and he isn’t looking forward to the tedious process of loading them back on the truck, taking them back to the farm, then reversing the process the next morning.

He comes up with a labor-saving solution: Next to the bin where his melons are carefully arranged, he places a large sign saying “ONE OF THESE IS POISONED”.

Reassured, he goes home to sleep.

In the morning, he comes back to find that someone has written on his sign “Now there are two”.

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What do you call a row of trucks hauling nachos?

A cheesy pickup line.

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Yo Mama's appetite is so huge she uses a truck to carry her popcorn to the movies.

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A blonde and a redhead have a ranch. They have just lost their bull.

The women need to, buy another, but only have $500.

The redhead tells the blonde, “I will go to the market and see if I can find one for under that amount. If I can, I will send you a telegram.”

She goes to the market and finds one for $499.

Having only one dollar left, she goes to the telegraph office and finds out that it costs one dollar per word. She is stumped on how to tell the blonde to bring the truck and trailer.

Finally, she tells the telegraph operator to send the word “comfortable”.

Skeptical, the operator asks, “How will she know to come with the trailer from just that word?”

The redhead replies, “She's a blonde so she reads slow: ‘Come for ta bull’.”

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