Trick Jokes



Enjoy our team's carefully selected Trick Jokes. Laugh yourself and share the funniest jokes with your friends!



Trick Jokes


What is it called when shapes play pranks on each other?

Geometrick.

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Doctors hate this one easy trick to lose 15 lbs fast!

The flu.

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Recently, a routine Yakama police patrol parked outside Peteโ€™s tavern. Late in the evening, the officer noticed a young tribal man leaving the bar so intoxicated that he could barely walk.

The man stumbled around the parking lot for a few minutes, with the officer quietly observing.

After what seemed an eternity and trying his keys on five vehicles, the man managed to find his car, which he fell into. He was there for a few minutes as a number of other patrons left the bar and drove off.

Finally, he started the car, switched the wipers on and off (it was a fine dry night), flicked the blinkers on, then off, honked the horn, and then switched on the lights.

He moved the vehicle forward a few inches, reversed a little, and then remained still for a few more minutes as some more vehicles left.

At last, he pulled out of the parking lot and started to drive slowly down the road.

The police officer, having patiently waited all this time, now started up the patrol car, put on the flashing lights, promptly pulled the man over and carried out a breathalyzer test.

To his amazement, the breathalyzer indicated no evidence of the man having consumed alcohol at all!

Dumbfounded, the officer said, โ€œIโ€™ll have to ask you to accompany me to the police station, this breathalyzer equipment must be broken.โ€

โ€œI doubt it,โ€ said the man, โ€œTonight Iโ€™m the designated decoy. Aye!!! Old tribal trick enit!!!โ€

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In honor of the eve of April Foolsโ€™ Day, just remember that tomorrow you need to be cautious of many tweets and news reports because most of them will be lies and simply there to try and trick you. Believe nothing, and trust no one.

Just treat it like itโ€™s any other day.

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A young boy knocked on my door on Halloween night and said, โ€œTrick or treat?โ€

I looked at him and asked, โ€œWhat have you come as?โ€

He said, โ€œA werewolf.โ€

I said, โ€œBut youโ€™re not wearing a costume. Youโ€™ve just got your normal clothes on.โ€

He said, โ€œYeah well, itโ€™s not a full moon yet, is it?โ€

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How did the Egyptians trick their slaves into working so hard?

With a pyramid scheme.

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A drunk walks up to a barkeeper one day and says, โ€œIf I show you a trick will you give me a free drink?โ€

The barkeeper says, โ€œDepends on how good of a trick it is.โ€

The drunk reaches into his pocket, pulls out a frog and places him behind the piano.

The frog starts to play the sweetest jazz riff the barkeeper has ever heard.

He pours the drunk his drink.

The drunk, after killing his drink, says, โ€œIf I show you another trick, can I have another free one?โ€

The barkeeper says, โ€œIf it is anything like that last one, you can drink free all night.โ€

The drunk reaches into his other pocket, pulls out a rat, sets it on top of the piano and the rat starts scatting along with the frog.โ€

Impressed, the barkeeper starts to pour drinks as fast as the drunk can drink them.

After several hours, a big-time Hollywood agent walks in, sees the act and frantically asks the barkeeper who it belongs to.

The barkeeper points to the drunk who is passed out on the floor.

The agent wakes him up and says, โ€œI will give you 1 million dollars for that act.โ€

The drunks says, โ€œNot for sale.โ€

The agent says, โ€œOk, 100 grand for just the skating rat.โ€

The drunk says, โ€œDeal.โ€

The agent writes the check and leaves with the rat.

The barkeeper looks at the drunk and says, โ€œAre you nuts? You had a million-dollar act that you just broke up for a wimpy 100 gโ€™s?โ€

The Drunk says, โ€œRelax, the frog is a ventriloquist.โ€

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What is a clinical trial done in October called?

A trick or treatment.

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An Englishman and an Irishman go to a bakery.

The Englishman steals three buns and puts them into his pockets and leaves.

He says to the Irishman, โ€œThat took great skill and guile to steal those buns. The owner didnโ€™t even see me.โ€

โ€œThatโ€™s just simple thievery,โ€ the Irishman replied. โ€œIโ€™ll show you how to do it the honest way and get the same results.โ€

The Irishman then proceeded to call out the owner of the bakery and says, โ€œSir, I want to show you a magic trick.โ€

The owner was intrigued so he came over to see the magic trick.

The Irishman asked him for a bun and then he proceeded to eat it. He asked two more times.

And after eating them again the owner says, โ€œOkay my friend, whereโ€™s the magic trick?โ€

The Irishman then said, โ€œLook in the Englishmanโ€™s pockets.โ€

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โ€œOh, I sure am glad to see you,โ€ the little boy said to his grandmother. โ€œNow daddy will do the trick heโ€™s been promising us.โ€

The grandmother was curious.

โ€œWhat trick is that?โ€ she asked.

โ€œHe told Mommy that heโ€™d climb the walls if you came to visit,โ€ answered the boy.

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One Halloween a trick-or-treater came to my door dressed as โ€œRockyโ€ in boxing gloves and satin shorts. Soon after I gave him some goodies, he returned for more.

โ€œArenโ€™t you the same โ€œRockyโ€ who left my doorstep a few minutes ago?โ€ I asked.

โ€œYes,โ€ he replied, โ€œbut now Iโ€™m the sequel. Iโ€™ll be back three more times tonight too.โ€

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I got so sick of trick-or-treaters on Halloween night that I finally turned off all the lights and pretended I wasnโ€™t home.

Forget the ships! My lighthouse, my rules!

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Ever had to force your dog into taking its medication?

Itโ€™s the worst, right? You try to cover it with peanut butter, even then they know youโ€™re up to something.

So it gets kinda physical, have to get in there with both hands and hold them open and push it in with your finger, hoping they donโ€™t bite you. Turns into a wrestling match, sometimes.

But as it turns out, the trick was we were just using the wrong peanut butter. Ever since we switched to creamy, those suppositories just pop right in.

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The moon is so cheeky, itโ€™s always playing lunar-tricks.

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My twin brothers dressed up as a bird this Halloween, guess what they said?

Trick or tweet.

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